It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!
Maybe we should replace the term “grammar Nazis” with “grammar centurions.”
Oooh, yes!
Frankly, I’m shocked that someone so brilliant he invented algebra at the age of 10 could say something so mind-bogglingly stupid.
Did he just claim to invent algebra because he thinks learning algebra the regular way is cheating?
LOL I think he was just trying to tell us what a genius he is. Which makes me wonder why he hasn’t been trumpeting his success with the Voynich Manuscript yet. Pehaps his mighty brain went into reverse once he hit his teens.
I called him stupid once and he went off about how he discovered the concept of variables and became a certified genius while blackout drunk.
I said it then and I’ll say it now: Anyone as smart as Diogenes claims to be would’ve realized that making these claims made him appear more pathetic, not less.
Kitteh’s: he did say he had emailed some websites about the manuscript. That’s what’s passes for research in his world.
Hellkell – and I wonder how he can live with his INTELLECTUAL DISHONESTY in doing it!
Gametime – anyone as smart as Dingleberry Dumbass claims to be wouldn’t be making any of his claims in the first place. 😀
Well, he also thinks that if he fails to prove the Voynich Manuscript is music, than he has proven that it is NOT music which is just … wut? And also apparently anyone who isn’t a monotheist (e.g. “sheiks” [sic]) is an atheist.
At least I think that’s what he said. I would go back and check, but that would be cheating. XD
“And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!”
My Latin 2 & 3 teacher had a stick she’d hit the board with, we were supposed to rattle off the declensions as she tapped them out. Having been hit as a kid, I was just plain scared…hated that woman. By MRA standards she’d be screaming misogyny huh?
As for Diogenes, doesn’t he get that he just sounds like he’s having a case of Dunning-Kruger.
Gah, that’s nasty. Teachers and sticks … I had a typing teacher who liked to smack your knuckles with a ruler if you looked at the keyboard. (This was in ancient times – using actual typewriters.)
Dunning-Kruger describes Dingleberry Dumbasdogshit perfectly.
I have to say that my sense of propriety means that 1: having learnt penes is correct (no matter what Firefox thinks) and 2: that hemi-penises looks horrible, causes me to use penes
Hemi-penises?
This is starting to sound like an Owly nightmare. 😛
Kittehs: Snakes have “hemi-penes” and opppossums have bifircate penes.
We won’t even talk about insects, or spiders.
Damn. Opossums and bifurcate.
No it’s not. Men manage to suppress that urge just fine in situations where they know that not doing so might have negative consequences.
I mean, if you want to see yourself as a mindless creature controlled by your sexual urges then go ahead, but don’t be surprised when other men object to being seen the same way, or when you seeing yourself that way results in women not wanting to be around you.
the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming
I’ve not found this to be the case. I have even been known to not ogle exposed cleavage. There are any number of beautiful, interesting, attractive (to me, at least) women in the world whom I have, for lack of a sense of interest/suitability of circumstance, managed to not try to talk out of their clothes.
This is because I am grown up.
If men in general behaved the way these morons act, we’d see guys wandering around with erections, marching up to women and demanding sex all the time, or attacking them. Now that sort of thing does happen, but it is sexual harassment or assault, not normal behaviour. I’ve rarely seen any man ogling a woman on the train (and I’ve travelled on public transport in a city of millions all my life), let alone outright harassment or worse. There is a limit, in that I’m commuting, not travelling at night when there is a lot more of that sort of thing – drunks and louts who are just as likely to attack other men as women. But that’s the thing, I’m observing everyday behaviour from people who are just going about their business. Heavens, sometimes there are even men and women talking to each other! And laughing! And enjoying each other’s company! Some of the women are even pretty and wearing lightweight summer clothes! Even worse from the MRM point of view, some of the women are not conventionally pretty! How does one account for all this?
Oh yeah, because men and women aren’t the fuck machines these losers like to pretend they are.
“We won’t even talk about … spiders.” — no, no we won’t, thank you (and good day to you sir)
Diogenes is singing this song, but he’s changed it from “and I don’t work for nobody but you” to “and I work for anyone with a vagina”.
Some strange and bizarre statements being made here. For one, my assertion is hardly misogynistic. If anything, its a bit demeaning to men. Gametime said another strange thing. If sex wasn’t something some people want more than others, then why do hookers exist? Why are they mostly female? Even the male ones usually work for men. You don’t see supply and demand in action here?
Dr. Drew said it best when he says that “young men are on drugs.” We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.
Cassandra, what kind of women are we talking about here? Not all women are like you. I asked a female friend once why there were women in my gym who did their hair before they went to work out. She said that “women would die if we didn’t have men staring at us all the time. Yes, we’re freezing in those clothes.”
The Kitteh, you’re projecting again. Read what I said, and not into it as you think I mean it.
pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?
Diogenes has a bad case of “if I don’t want to imagine you having sex, then you must never get horny.”
Now he’s not even trying to respond to the things that people are actually saying. I’ve said this before but apparently it needs repeating – either be more interesting or go away, Frothy.
Also, freezing while working out? Frothy’s imaginary friends are as lazy as he is.