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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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katz
11 years ago

If De Beers shitted diamonds, I would be completely in favor of them controlling what was done with them.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The penis cartel reminds me of the bit in that thread I was reading ‘tother night (the False Rape Society one, I think) where Slavey was sneering about “envelope his penis”. I think it was you, Cassandra, who said the USPS would probably not approve of people sending penises (penii?) through the mail.

I’m very glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that.

Jennie
Jennie
11 years ago

Wow-these mra’s are very very delusional. Um, I wonder if they ever took the time, and braincells to realize that NOT ALL WOMEN DESIRE to get pregnant!! And their other delusion that women want their sperm…well, let’s just say that most of us don’t even want to TOUCH the stuff-let alone steal it to impregnate ourselves. They fail to realize that women are working people who can take care of ourselves now. We’re big girls. We have our own apartments/houses-can feed ourselves-buy our own stuff-and-oh my goodness live and function just fine in this world WITHOUT men! Ever hear of artificial insemination?? Many men aren’t worth the stress and annoyance anyways. Women are not property anymore. We have the potential to do anything we damn please. There are no prince charmings. What a lie. Us women and girls must be fully independent in order to possess total freedom. If a woman wants to get pregnant from these losers-well that’s her problem. Many of us are alot smarter than that. Believe it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The thing with MRAs is that they don’t see women as people, and will hold any number of contradictory views as long as they paint TEH WIMMEN as being in the wrong. We are apparently all simultaneously depriving men of their rightful jobs/sponging off hardworking men; sluts/frigidly withholding sex; stupid, illogical and helpless/cunningly in control of all the goverments and businesses in the world; spermburgling to get pregnant and $$$$/threatening the White Race with extinction by not breeding.

You’d think their heads would explode. Perhaps the space between those three lonely orbiting braincells is what keeps them intact. 😉

Fortunately this particular brand of douches are a tiny, almost invisible minority, as horrific/laughable to other men (and not just feminist men) as to women (apart from the equally delusional feMRA types). They’re internet warriors who can’t even organise a meeting of their own mob – have you looked at the Year of Triumphs article yet? It’s a hoot.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

John: “Sorry, for most guys on the thread it probably would be, but like what one of the three women said to me when watching me practice Taekwondo in a park. You must have a strong lower body. Once you’ve gone martial artist,, nothing less will do.”

Um, congratulations?

You’re taking a cheap shot at the men here and at me. I’m a low numbers female and, thanks to a conservative Christian upbringing and those hideous ads from the ’80’s “you’re sleeping with every woman he’s ever been with”, I don’t find high number males appealing for long term relationships. I’m married and sexual conquest numbers don’t usually come up in conversations, so my prudery remains underground most of the time (thank the gods, it’s kind of embarrassing). But I don’t appreciate being mocked for it. The kind of upbringing I had was damaging: sex is dirty, my ladyparts are dirty, I am the keeper of men’s sexual needs so I must refuse to keep him from “falling”…that kind of thing. I tried casual encounters but didn’t like them much. I also found that there was no “sexual tigress on-switch” for when I got married.

So, I’m happy for you if you are happy to be eye-candy. (shrug) That’s perhaps all you are? Keep in mind that I’m sexist, too, at least I think that’s the right word for it. “you’re pretty, but only worth being used” I adopted a few male-type attitudes.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

Cassandra

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Do you believe in free will? We’re all a product of our upbringings well before we have any capability of making a decision in the matter. Some say we don’t have any, and some (Nietzsche) say screw it, we have it to the extent we think we’re free. I think we just have a bit of it.

So, when it comes down to not trying to get under a girls skirt, the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming. Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there. There is a total asymmetry in the market there.

The Kitteh

The plural is penes.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there. There is a total asymmetry in the market there.

You keep on telling yourself that.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago
hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Maybe you’d get laid if you stopped thinking of it as a “market.”

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

Who says I don’t?

I’m just realistic about the way things work.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

But here in reality, things don’t work that way.

You presume that all men want sex whenever asked. How misandric of you.

katz
11 years ago

Diogenes.

Stop linking us to psych studies.

WE’VE SEEN THEM ALL BEFORE.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there

One of these days I am going to go to a swinger’s club and actually test this hypothesis. Because I have a feeling the answer to my inquiry will generally be no. Because men are not ravening sex beasts only held in check by the woman’s lack of demand.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And Dingleberry demonstrates his misogyny and idiocy all. over. again.

C’mon, Dingleberry, if a woman you had absolutely no interest in, someone you found compltely unattractive, propositioned you, would you take her up on it? And if the answer’s no, what on earth makes you think any woman can just ask for sex and get it? Or that men are so desperate/unfaithful/brainless that they’re no more than giant walking glands? You’re trotting out MRM talking points here, and they are possibly even more insulting to men than to women.

Please, go back to whatever planet it is you come from.

thebewilderness
11 years ago

Dingleberries creepiness factor continues to increase daily.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It does. And he doesn’t even have Steele’s linguistic contortionist entertainment value.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there.”

It’s like NWO learned how to form sentences!

He is right about penes though, penis is 3rd declension, which has an -es ending in the plural. (Penī would be 2nd declension)

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

And Diogenes continues to fail basic logic.

You know that college students =/= everyone, right?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’d been reading the NWO thread where it got to debating the plural of penis (and whether the USPS would accept them in the mail, since Owly was on about “envelope his penis” stuff). Hence the mention. 🙂

I kinda like “penes”. Sounds like it’d be peenies.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Penises is an acceptable pluralization of penis in USian usage, per the OED. I know everyone was wondering about that so I rushed off to look it up. 😉

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That was just an excuse to look up NAUGHTYWORDS!

Actually I think penises is what’s used here, too. Not that I can recall the last time I heard it in conversation. :/

Some Gal Not Bored at All
Some Gal Not Bored at All
11 years ago

Dumbass, all that study shows is that female college students consider risk and reward while men don’t have to. Misogyny in action.

http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/gender-differences-and-casual-sex-the-new-research/

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Penises is certainly acceptable, yes. I’m just pedantic about Latin 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Romanes eunt domus!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

But…but…you declined eo without imploding!