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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The Sock-eating Monster has expanded its diet to include comments! Run for your lives!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Well at least it’s showing me the mod queue message now! I did expect that, considering the number of blockquotes.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Whew!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Just had an awwwwww moment – one of the Scottish regiments just brought their mascot onto the castle esplanade. A TINY black Shetland. 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Be glad you’re watching it on TV. I’ve been to the actual event and it’s hellaciously cold.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I can well imagine, even in August!

What I can never get over is how the Esplanade (they’re just doing the march-out now) looks so big on telly and yet so tiny when you’re there. Mum and I were there twice, just after the Festival was over, and the stands were still up, and we were standing looking around saying, “This can’t be it, surely!”

I have a theory that the bands are really made up of hobbits.

lauralot89
11 years ago

Coming in way late with this, but in regards to the Hebrew God being male, it’s entirely possible to interpret the Bible to include a female God: http://www.therowboat.com/2008/08/do-you-believe-in-mother-god/

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“Is it just me who’s totally creeped out by the way John Anderson keeps equating consensual sex with rape in his failed analogies?”

Um, yeah.

And John, I think you’re just pretending to mistunderstand what we’re saying. I mean really, what the hell is the following all about?:

“If you think a woman would be safer walking in a bad neighborhood with a feminist man than with me, it would depend on the feminist man. I’m basing my evaluation on the average feminist guy I’ve met. Aside from the guy who volunteered at IMPACT (That’s how I heard that they recreated the scenarios where these women were raped. I know they’re trying to empower them. I wouldn’t have the heart to do it.) and he didn’t identify as a feminist, there are few I would think could better protect a woman than I. If that is what you meant then LMAO!!!”

Um, are those ladies who want you, want you for protection? What the hell are you talking about this now for? Huh? Feminist dudes can’t beat you up? What point are you trying to make here?

But I do think you’re willfully misunderstanding everything everyone here has been posting so you can say absolute horseshit like the following:

“Like I’m really going to try and score points talking about the sex I don’t want. You can’t get sympathy from people who think male rape is hypothetical.”

No one said male rape is hypothetical in here. Drop the straw.

OK, and more bragging while shaming male feminists for some fucking reason:

“Why would you think I’d even bother? The fact of the matter is the one thing a feminist man can probably do better than I is avoid attracting women sexually even the women they don’t want (if there are any).”

I don’t know, do you think you’re going to make any of cry by taking yourself out of the dating pool? I’m not sure why you keep sharing your dating status with us.
*Sigh* Anyhoo, this:

“Short version: women who kill are significantly more likely to choose an intimate than a man who kills although men are more likely to kill and more likely to kill an intimate.”

You fucked that up…EVERYONE is more likely to be killed by someone they know. According to the FBI, statistics have shown that nearly half of all murder victims actually knew their murderer. Like, 20 percent of murders involve family members. So even though we hear the horror stories of serial killers, or random unsolved murders, your chances are much higher of being killed by someone you know, maybe even someone you love. And 1 in 4 female murder victims are killed by their husband or boyfriend.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

Y’all are doing a great job trying to reason with John, so I’m gonna jump back a page or two and point out how cute it is that Diogenes thinks he’s the first person to wonder if the Voynich Manuscript might be music. And that he thinks if his own method of translating it into music fails, he will have proven that it’s not music.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Just because you hate people who disagree with you doesn’t mean you get to project that on me. Which of us is in the hate group again? Oh, that would be you, the feminist.

That would be you in the hate group, John. I give zero fucks about you, hate isn’t even on the menu. What I do give many fucks about is the way you turds want to deny the basic humanity of women.

I think all are medical abortions. If you don’t need to cut skin or bone, I’m unsure you can categorize them as surgical. So a doctor using a tongue depressor is performing exploratory surgery, real smart. Oh yeah, how about an ear doctor using an “alligator”. That’s got to be surgery too. I guess you can STFU now and we won’t need to be hearing from you.

You really don’t like it when a woman proves you wrong, do? You certainly are unsure, whoops, WRONG about a great many things. But you do love showing your ass, don’t you? Must be all that tae kwon do.

Amused
11 years ago

@John

If you don’t need to cut skin or bone, I’m unsure you can categorize them as surgical.

So … if you have a tumor in your large colon, excising it isn’t surgery? There is no skin cutting or bone cutting involved. They just do a lot of cutting on the inside of your body.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Shiraz, I have a comment in mod, it’s very long, very math-y, and very full of citations. Your numbers are more or less correct though. 30% of women who are murdered are murdered b an intimate partner, even if we round to 1 in 4, that’s still 1 in 4 women who are murdered. JOHN’s math alley is far worse than your error, I’m assuming you jus forgot to includ he context of 1 in 4 (I fail at including enough context)

Amused
11 years ago

According to Merriam-Webster Medical Dictionary:

Operation: a procedure performed on a living body usually with instruments for the repair of damage or the restoration of health and especially one that involves incision, excision, or suturing

So there you have it, John Anderson, not-quite-doctor failed medical expert. Abortion clearly involves excision, so it’s surgery. Or maybe medicine has been taken over by feminists?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Thanks Argenti. I knew I should have just waited for someone else to do the math right.

lauralot89
11 years ago

@Amused: Clearly the evil feminists threatened the creators of Merriam-Webster until they took out the part of the definition that said “does not apply to slutty slutacious women sluts having abortions.”

Some Gal Not Bored at All

I am still boggling at John not knowing what surgery is. His math will be next onnmy list for boggling at. (Am I wrong or did he basically claim that everyone’s risk of being murdered by an intimate partner is the same as the risk of a murder victim being murdered by an intimate partner?)

whataboutthemoonz
11 years ago

“You can choose not to believe me if you want. I just don’t see how you folks can live in a world where the De Beers group manipulates the world diamond supply, and yet it’s such an impossible stretch to think that maybe women have been doing the same with vaginas.”

So, like, I feel weird for having to say this, but vaginas are actual body parts, and not mysterious magical artifacts women are gifted with on the day of their birth. . . . duh?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Amused – “So there you have it, John Anderson, not-quite-doctor failed medical expert.”

Do you think he studied under Dr Pell?

@whataboutthemoonz – yeah, that bit squicke me out, too. It’s like vaginas are things that women have wrongly gained control of, things that are no particular use or importance to them, but that they meanly keep men from getting to. He’s basically talking as if we are denying men something they’ve a right to … what a surprise.

pecunium
11 years ago

Of course this thread shows why John Anderson doesn’t really rate in the TOTY competition… no staying power.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He hasn’t the fire in his belly. Plenty of booze, going from the incoherence, but not the fire. 😉

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

He probably thinks he has fire in his belly, but it’s just acid reflux from all the bile.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Other than Slavey’s demands for different sources than those I used, has any troll ever responded to my math? It feels like they refuse to be proven wrong, but know they’re wrong, and thus quietly sulk off to the corner of shame. Either that or they really are deathly allergic to math.

whataboutthemoonz
11 years ago

Uh, yeah, I’m like “this is an actual part of my body and not an inanimate object.”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

If you take out the misogyny what you’re left with is a statement that women control vaginas, and the access to those vaginas. Well, with the exception of trans men, duh.

Let’s play reverse the genders. Men control the penis cartel! Again, with the exception of trans women, yes, penises are mostly under the control of men. And when you put it that way it’s obvious even to the most dimwitted misogynist that that’s how it should be, but reverse the genders and you run smack into their beliefs that a. women aren’t people and b. vaginas are an entity unto themselves which those bitchy, unreasonable non-people keep insisting on their right to be in charge of.

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