It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
whatabout
Do you speak any languages besides English? In French, like everything has a gender. “un” or “une.”
G-d has a male gender, and got it from Hebrew. But its in Hebrew because of some religious concepts about the nature of men and women. Y’all probably don’t want the detailed religious explanation, so unless its requested, I won’t give it.
lauralot – make it the Frothing Dingleberries. Can’t leave people guessing which band member they mean.
Oh give it a break, Diogenes the Theologist. Yahweh was one of many gods, male and female, before the idea of the one-and-only deity took hold.
Can we start referring to him as Dingleberry the Frothing? Please?
Nothing post hoc about THAT particular explanation, nope…
Or perhaps Dingleberry the Frothy would be better.
Dingleberry the Frothy it is.
Oh, we’re doing gender and language now? Latin has three genders: male, female, and neuter.
The Kitteh
Any proof of that? Or are you just repeating what people told you about documentary hypothesis?
How about thinking for yourself? Might help.
Dingleberry the Frothy then!
Dingleberry the Frothy,
How about thinking? Might help.
I speak multiple languages besides English, you intolerable fucking numpty.
whatabout
Then you should have known the answer to your question already.
LOL Diogenes, that’s rich coming from you, the failure at everything from history to maths, the one who says looking things up (ie learning about stuff) is intellectually dishonest. Do you think knowing and reading stuff is what “pull it out of your arse” means?
I think Dingleberry the Fizzler would be better than Frothy. He doesn’t have it in him do to a froth job like the great trolls of the past, he’s just a squib.
Diogenes, are you seriously saying that you have no knowledge of Roman, Greek, Norse, Hindu, etc. gods?
whataboutthemoonz: +1 internet for “intolerable fucking numpty.”
Read all the Norse and Greek myths when I was a kid. But were not talking about myths now. Were talking about the Bible.
He probably should be Aspiring Dingleberry the Frothy, since as I have already said an actual frothing dingleberry has more worth to society. Or so I’ve heard.
AMAZING
Oh, so the Bible isn’t myth?
So. Much. Laughage.
SO. MUCH. LAUGHAGE.
(My sincere apologies to the non troll/non atheists here.)
Funny how a kid who pretends he’s a cynic can trot out such a fundy line.
Oh, god. I have a perverse love of Diogenes’ attempts to be an intellectual. It’s like watching a 97 pound weakling pick a fight with a whole rugby team. Enjoying the ensuing bloodbath is schadenfreude, yes, but… he started it.
Dude if you’re aware that polytheism exists and predates monotheism, then you should understand that “Yahweh was one of many gods, male and female, before the idea of the one-and-only deity took hold” is a perfectly valid statement. You tool.
No, clearly we’re not talking about myths (like Hinduism) now. We’re talking about a Bronze Age Hebrew deity who lives in the sky and hates people who eat shrimp.
Was that a joke? I feel like that had to be a joke.
The Kitteh
There is a debate rule called The Diogenes The Cynic Principle.
I’m invoking it now. The rule states that before a debate, both parties must articulate under what circumstances they would agree to their opponents viewpoint. Failure to do so means the person is emotionally, and not logically attached to their views.
So, unless you can articulate circumstances that would make you change your mind, I’ll assume your reasons for being an atheist are emotional, and not logical.
You don’t have to tell me what your standards are either. You just have to first agree to the Diogenes The Cynic Principle.