It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
As someone who’s had one, I can absolutely endorse this – once you’ve got over the initial few days of discomfort (not pain), it’s as though nothing had happened at all.
That said, I was advised that I shouldn’t rely on being able to reverse the process. This wasn’t a problem for me as I have no intention of fathering any more children, but I’d probably hesitate if this was a possibility.
Thanks Pecunium!
As for reversing it, yeah, don’t count on it, but it sounded like that 10% risk with that birth control pill for men was definitely permanent.
And the difference is, with a vasectomy one expects it to be permanent. With a medication one doesn’t.
“Testing gif
And missing a ” damnit
http://medias.gifboom.com/medias/[email protected]
And condoms are good things, no doubt, but some more options wouldn’t hurt.And especially to use them in conjuction with condoms , to increase reliability of the method.
And talacaris yet again misses the point! I don’t disagree, I’m just sick of hearing MRAs go on about “financial abortion” and how they have no options, when oh look…an option!
Anyways, I’m with kitteh and Cassadra on this one, I don’t care wtf you say you’re on // had done, condoms are not optional.
On financial abortion… What would happen if a pregnant woman decides to financially abort, but no actual abortion?
Go google safe haven laws, I’m eating dinner.
Thank you for the responses!
Great gif Argenti! đŸ˜€
Fucking ninnyhammers.
I feel a little bad for the vet student who thinks he’s gonna be swimming in women once he starts making a little scratch. How will he ever fight them off? Poor kid.
Sarcasm aside, I do feel a little bad for him. Someone must have filled his head with stories about money grubbing women in order to make him feel better about never having a girlfriend.
@ Pecunium
I guess there are a couple things we need to define before pressing ahead with the discussion and I’d like to get your opinion on them. The first is can a religious belief ever be misogynistic. If I believe that only men can be priests or that salvation can only be gained through men, is that misogynistic? Does it depend on the reason that I believe it? So if I had a realistic reason such as Jesus only had male apostles (the reason told to me when I was young), it would not be misogynistic or because God is male (another reason I’ve heard). What if the reason were ludicrous (because the sun is male)?
The second question would be whether his fear is actually irrational. If his fear is that women would steal his sperm, he may have a point. If I remember correctly the CDC lifetime numbers were 1 in 21 for forced to penetrate. Let’s assume a 4% lifetime victimization rate for sperm theft due to rape. The lifetime numbers didn’t make sense to me because if men are 50% of current victims, how are they 20% of past victims. but whatever. Let’s double it to include errors in methodology, the possibility that the incarcerated may have higher incidents (and where not included in the survey) and there are other ways to obtain sperm fraudulently (most likely by falsely claiming birth control use). That would be a lifetime possibility of 8% or 1 in 12 or 1 in 13. In my opinion 1 in 25 would still be realistic at least that’s what people would argue if a pill made 4% of men sterile.
If a man has on average 1,000 social interactions with women where she might acquire his sperm surreptitiously, then it would be irrational to believe that in any one interaction the woman is attempting to burgal your perm, however, if he intends to avoid every social interaction, he avoids a realistic threat to the theft of his sperm. Is his fear irrational? If his fear is only that she would steal his sperm from used condoms and / or that she would trick him by falsely claiming birth control use, would that be misogynistic? Just because he doesn’t recognize rape as a potential threat to the theft of his sperm doesn’t mean that it isn’t a threat. If he is factually correct (over a lifetime), but his reasoning is flawed, would that still be misogynistic?
Perm burglars are the fucking WORST.
I receive child support from my son’s “father” and BY GOD! That $118 a week means I am rolling in dough! It’s not like the child support is LESS than what ends up getting spent on my child, therefore meaning I would lose money by tricking a man into getting me pregnant. Raising a child costs more than the amount a man generally pays in child support. Unless the man is EXTREMELY rich, getting pregnant just for the child support makes zero sense.
,
Holy crap, I don’t remember when I last laughed so hard.
PERM BURGLARS!
That’s it, we really need a glossary of trollisms.
Incidentally, John, the word is “burgle”. Or are you still drunk posting? Should there be a category for Longest Drunk Post By A Troll? Though I think Tom Martin would win that one, too.
@whataboutthemoonz:
“Fucking ninnyhammers”
That sounds really painful …
John, you don’t get to excuse misogynistic beliefs just because they were started by misogynists way back. Do you think misogyny is something that just got invented? Do you think women haven’t been written out of history for millennia?
Sir Bodsworth: “burgle his perm” did it for me.
It’s perm BURGALERS, you silly geese!
Perm Burgalery affects millions of people per millenium, potentially.
I don’t know why it was that particular line out of all the made up statistics that made me lol.
It just did.
OMG, please please please tell me that 1,000 social interactions with women is just talking with a woman over coffee at Starbucks…
How many male hairdressers have been driven out of business by evil feminist perm burglars? This crime is rampant but nobody will talk about it because MISANDRY!
Kitteh’s: it’s an evil plot by the feminist home perm industry.
@ hellkell
“The feminist men here are better than you could ever hope to be.’
Better at what? Groveling for female attention. They’re better at that because they have to be. Granted there are areas in my life where it would be easier if I was a feminist or at least was friends with feminist men, but those are areas where I have to deal with unwanted female attention. The women I know just laugh at my predicament. They take this welcome to the club approach. The men I know think it’s funny too. The MRAs are as clueless about handling it as I am.
There is this woman, who is a customer at my job, that’s been stalking me. The first time she made me a pie. It was to do something “nice” for the guys in the office. The second time she asked me if I wanted it modified. I told her don’t worry because the other people might not like it. She didn’t like the idea of me sharing it, but decided it would be “fun”. I have this funny feeling she trying to drug me. Being a former weight lifter and kick boxer, I’m not worried about her over powering me. She called my work recently and asked me to lunch. Everyone knew who it was because they said you tried immediately and really hard to get out of it. I knew she wouldn’t pull a weapon in a public place, but it’s weird sitting across from someone at lunch you know wants to jump your bone and you don’t want her to. Even the guys refer to her as my stalker.
There’s this pretty woman at work with a gorgeous body. Every time I visit a department, I usually say high or pause a minute to chat with the people there. She never gave me the time of day. I guess she thought I was hitting on her. I figured she was hit on all the time and didn’t take it personally. She asks me to check her laptop. When I’m checking it, an image of her and another woman in a compromising position pops up. She apologizes profusely. I close the file, fix her laptop, and never mentioned it again. I haven’t threatened to tell anyone, I haven’t told anyone, I haven’t tried hitting on her. In fact I avoid her desk now, but when I’m in her area, she walks up and starts to chat with me. I feel like I violated her at least her privacy. She thinks we’re friends now.
I’ve got the female friend who has developed this crush on me. She’s 17 or so years younger than me. She’s made appreciative comments about my body. I think she was putting me on a guilt trip when she was telling me that she’s resigning herself to a life without having a sexual experience. She’s a wonderful woman and dear friend, but not conventionally attractive. She’s basically friend zoned although I do feel bad for her and care for her. I’d consider giving her a ride on the baloney pony, but it would just confuse her. I have her a jug on Thanksgiving. Now she wants to hug all the time. I don’t want to hurt her feelings because it is just a hug, but it feels weird knowing how she feels.
I’m not saying being an MRA is a bed of roses. I’m sure feminist guys would know what to do in situations like this, but I know that when push comes to shove even feminist women seek out MRA friends instead of feminist men. That happened when a friend’s crazy ex-boyfriend broke into her apartment and stole her dog. She told me not her feminist friends then spent the next hour convincing me she was absolutely safe and OK so I wouldn’t hunt him down and snap his fool neck.