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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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katz
7 years ago

If De Beers shitted diamonds, I would be completely in favor of them controlling what was done with them.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The penis cartel reminds me of the bit in that thread I was reading ‘tother night (the False Rape Society one, I think) where Slavey was sneering about “envelope his penis”. I think it was you, Cassandra, who said the USPS would probably not approve of people sending penises (penii?) through the mail.

I’m very glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that.

Jennie
Jennie
7 years ago

Wow-these mra’s are very very delusional. Um, I wonder if they ever took the time, and braincells to realize that NOT ALL WOMEN DESIRE to get pregnant!! And their other delusion that women want their sperm…well, let’s just say that most of us don’t even want to TOUCH the stuff-let alone steal it to impregnate ourselves. They fail to realize that women are working people who can take care of ourselves now. We’re big girls. We have our own apartments/houses-can feed ourselves-buy our own stuff-and-oh my goodness live and function just fine in this world WITHOUT men! Ever hear of artificial insemination?? Many men aren’t worth the stress and annoyance anyways. Women are not property anymore. We have the potential to do anything we damn please. There are no prince charmings. What a lie. Us women and girls must be fully independent in order to possess total freedom. If a woman wants to get pregnant from these losers-well that’s her problem. Many of us are alot smarter than that. Believe it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The thing with MRAs is that they don’t see women as people, and will hold any number of contradictory views as long as they paint TEH WIMMEN as being in the wrong. We are apparently all simultaneously depriving men of their rightful jobs/sponging off hardworking men; sluts/frigidly withholding sex; stupid, illogical and helpless/cunningly in control of all the goverments and businesses in the world; spermburgling to get pregnant and $$$$/threatening the White Race with extinction by not breeding.

You’d think their heads would explode. Perhaps the space between those three lonely orbiting braincells is what keeps them intact. 😉

Fortunately this particular brand of douches are a tiny, almost invisible minority, as horrific/laughable to other men (and not just feminist men) as to women (apart from the equally delusional feMRA types). They’re internet warriors who can’t even organise a meeting of their own mob – have you looked at the Year of Triumphs article yet? It’s a hoot.

Tina
Tina
7 years ago

John: “Sorry, for most guys on the thread it probably would be, but like what one of the three women said to me when watching me practice Taekwondo in a park. You must have a strong lower body. Once you’ve gone martial artist,, nothing less will do.”

Um, congratulations?

You’re taking a cheap shot at the men here and at me. I’m a low numbers female and, thanks to a conservative Christian upbringing and those hideous ads from the ’80’s “you’re sleeping with every woman he’s ever been with”, I don’t find high number males appealing for long term relationships. I’m married and sexual conquest numbers don’t usually come up in conversations, so my prudery remains underground most of the time (thank the gods, it’s kind of embarrassing). But I don’t appreciate being mocked for it. The kind of upbringing I had was damaging: sex is dirty, my ladyparts are dirty, I am the keeper of men’s sexual needs so I must refuse to keep him from “falling”…that kind of thing. I tried casual encounters but didn’t like them much. I also found that there was no “sexual tigress on-switch” for when I got married.

So, I’m happy for you if you are happy to be eye-candy. (shrug) That’s perhaps all you are? Keep in mind that I’m sexist, too, at least I think that’s the right word for it. “you’re pretty, but only worth being used” I adopted a few male-type attitudes.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

Cassandra

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Do you believe in free will? We’re all a product of our upbringings well before we have any capability of making a decision in the matter. Some say we don’t have any, and some (Nietzsche) say screw it, we have it to the extent we think we’re free. I think we just have a bit of it.

So, when it comes down to not trying to get under a girls skirt, the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming. Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there. There is a total asymmetry in the market there.

The Kitteh

The plural is penes.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there. There is a total asymmetry in the market there.

You keep on telling yourself that.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago
hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Maybe you’d get laid if you stopped thinking of it as a “market.”

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

Who says I don’t?

I’m just realistic about the way things work.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

But here in reality, things don’t work that way.

You presume that all men want sex whenever asked. How misandric of you.

katz
7 years ago

Diogenes.

Stop linking us to psych studies.

WE’VE SEEN THEM ALL BEFORE.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there

One of these days I am going to go to a swinger’s club and actually test this hypothesis. Because I have a feeling the answer to my inquiry will generally be no. Because men are not ravening sex beasts only held in check by the woman’s lack of demand.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And Dingleberry demonstrates his misogyny and idiocy all. over. again.

C’mon, Dingleberry, if a woman you had absolutely no interest in, someone you found compltely unattractive, propositioned you, would you take her up on it? And if the answer’s no, what on earth makes you think any woman can just ask for sex and get it? Or that men are so desperate/unfaithful/brainless that they’re no more than giant walking glands? You’re trotting out MRM talking points here, and they are possibly even more insulting to men than to women.

Please, go back to whatever planet it is you come from.

thebewilderness
7 years ago

Dingleberries creepiness factor continues to increase daily.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It does. And he doesn’t even have Steele’s linguistic contortionist entertainment value.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there.”

It’s like NWO learned how to form sentences!

He is right about penes though, penis is 3rd declension, which has an -es ending in the plural. (Penī would be 2nd declension)

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

And Diogenes continues to fail basic logic.

You know that college students =/= everyone, right?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’d been reading the NWO thread where it got to debating the plural of penis (and whether the USPS would accept them in the mail, since Owly was on about “envelope his penis” stuff). Hence the mention. 🙂

I kinda like “penes”. Sounds like it’d be peenies.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Penises is an acceptable pluralization of penis in USian usage, per the OED. I know everyone was wondering about that so I rushed off to look it up. 😉

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That was just an excuse to look up NAUGHTYWORDS!

Actually I think penises is what’s used here, too. Not that I can recall the last time I heard it in conversation. :/

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Dumbass, all that study shows is that female college students consider risk and reward while men don’t have to. Misogyny in action.

http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/gender-differences-and-casual-sex-the-new-research/

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Penises is certainly acceptable, yes. I’m just pedantic about Latin 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Romanes eunt domus!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

But…but…you declined eo without imploding!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!

katz
7 years ago

Maybe we should replace the term “grammar Nazis” with “grammar centurions.”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Oooh, yes!

Gametime
7 years ago

If there was not asymmetry, hookers wouldn’t exist.

Frankly, I’m shocked that someone so brilliant he invented algebra at the age of 10 could say something so mind-bogglingly stupid.

katz
7 years ago

Did he just claim to invent algebra because he thinks learning algebra the regular way is cheating?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL I think he was just trying to tell us what a genius he is. Which makes me wonder why he hasn’t been trumpeting his success with the Voynich Manuscript yet. Pehaps his mighty brain went into reverse once he hit his teens.

Gametime
7 years ago

I called him stupid once and he went off about how he discovered the concept of variables and became a certified genius while blackout drunk.

I said it then and I’ll say it now: Anyone as smart as Diogenes claims to be would’ve realized that making these claims made him appear more pathetic, not less.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Kitteh’s: he did say he had emailed some websites about the manuscript. That’s what’s passes for research in his world.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hellkell – and I wonder how he can live with his INTELLECTUAL DISHONESTY in doing it!

Gametime – anyone as smart as Dingleberry Dumbass claims to be wouldn’t be making any of his claims in the first place. 😀

cloudiah
7 years ago

Well, he also thinks that if he fails to prove the Voynich Manuscript is music, than he has proven that it is NOT music which is just … wut? And also apparently anyone who isn’t a monotheist (e.g. “sheiks” [sic]) is an atheist.

At least I think that’s what he said. I would go back and check, but that would be cheating. XD

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“And got away without having a centurion a) correct it and b) threaten terrible things if I didn’t write it 100 times before dawn!”

My Latin 2 & 3 teacher had a stick she’d hit the board with, we were supposed to rattle off the declensions as she tapped them out. Having been hit as a kid, I was just plain scared…hated that woman. By MRA standards she’d be screaming misogyny huh?

As for Diogenes, doesn’t he get that he just sounds like he’s having a case of Dunning-Kruger.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Gah, that’s nasty. Teachers and sticks … I had a typing teacher who liked to smack your knuckles with a ruler if you looked at the keyboard. (This was in ancient times – using actual typewriters.)

Dunning-Kruger describes Dingleberry Dumbasdogshit perfectly.

pecunium
7 years ago

I have to say that my sense of propriety means that 1: having learnt penes is correct (no matter what Firefox thinks) and 2: that hemi-penises looks horrible, causes me to use penes

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hemi-penises?

This is starting to sound like an Owly nightmare. 😛

pecunium
7 years ago

Kittehs: Snakes have “hemi-penes” and opppossums have bifircate penes.

We won’t even talk about insects, or spiders.

pecunium
7 years ago

Damn. Opossums and bifurcate.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming

No it’s not. Men manage to suppress that urge just fine in situations where they know that not doing so might have negative consequences.

I mean, if you want to see yourself as a mindless creature controlled by your sexual urges then go ahead, but don’t be surprised when other men object to being seen the same way, or when you seeing yourself that way results in women not wanting to be around you.

pecunium
7 years ago

the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming

I’ve not found this to be the case. I have even been known to not ogle exposed cleavage. There are any number of beautiful, interesting, attractive (to me, at least) women in the world whom I have, for lack of a sense of interest/suitability of circumstance, managed to not try to talk out of their clothes.

This is because I am grown up.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

If men in general behaved the way these morons act, we’d see guys wandering around with erections, marching up to women and demanding sex all the time, or attacking them. Now that sort of thing does happen, but it is sexual harassment or assault, not normal behaviour. I’ve rarely seen any man ogling a woman on the train (and I’ve travelled on public transport in a city of millions all my life), let alone outright harassment or worse. There is a limit, in that I’m commuting, not travelling at night when there is a lot more of that sort of thing – drunks and louts who are just as likely to attack other men as women. But that’s the thing, I’m observing everyday behaviour from people who are just going about their business. Heavens, sometimes there are even men and women talking to each other! And laughing! And enjoying each other’s company! Some of the women are even pretty and wearing lightweight summer clothes! Even worse from the MRM point of view, some of the women are not conventionally pretty! How does one account for all this?

Oh yeah, because men and women aren’t the fuck machines these losers like to pretend they are.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“We won’t even talk about … spiders.” — no, no we won’t, thank you (and good day to you sir)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Diogenes is singing this song, but he’s changed it from “and I don’t work for nobody but you” to “and I work for anyone with a vagina”.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

Some strange and bizarre statements being made here. For one, my assertion is hardly misogynistic. If anything, its a bit demeaning to men. Gametime said another strange thing. If sex wasn’t something some people want more than others, then why do hookers exist? Why are they mostly female? Even the male ones usually work for men. You don’t see supply and demand in action here?

Dr. Drew said it best when he says that “young men are on drugs.” We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

Cassandra, what kind of women are we talking about here? Not all women are like you. I asked a female friend once why there were women in my gym who did their hair before they went to work out. She said that “women would die if we didn’t have men staring at us all the time. Yes, we’re freezing in those clothes.”

The Kitteh, you’re projecting again. Read what I said, and not into it as you think I mean it.

pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?

katz
7 years ago

I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

Diogenes has a bad case of “if I don’t want to imagine you having sex, then you must never get horny.”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Now he’s not even trying to respond to the things that people are actually saying. I’ve said this before but apparently it needs repeating – either be more interesting or go away, Frothy.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Also, freezing while working out? Frothy’s imaginary friends are as lazy as he is.