It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
Abnoy also borrows his friends’ stuff without asking, because if he asked, they totally might say no.
Abnoy’s Complaint: “After all, the only two words a gal can say that would really offend a guy are ”no” and ”stop” :p.
Well, she might say yes and then laugh at his tiny pecker.
Then again what you are really saying is the problem with asking is she might say no… that’s fucked up.
A gentleman would accept that. He would also know that sooner or later someone he was interested in would say yes.
A Nice Guy™ will just push on, and hope she never says “No!” in a way he can’t ignore.
This bit is critical:
“A Nice Guy™ will just push on, and hope she never says “No!” in a way he can’t ignore.”
Hence the orbiting and sniffing around the target of his affections. Passive agressive courtship and all that. And anway, if she flat out says no, even after all the passive-agressive stuff, he can claim that she’s overreacting, and he was just kidding around. What I often wonder is if someone is so scared to just be flat-out direct about their feelings to the object of their affection…how they hell do they expect to date them? Like, in reality? Could they even handle it?
Bodice rippers have about the same relationship to womens lives as first person shooter video game do, Annoy. Do you assume that anyone who designs or plays a first person shooter is, or want to be, a mass murderer?
Just in case you really are that dim, women do not want their bodice ripped just because they read bodice rippers.
That aside, yeah ABNOY, I know. I watched part of Brotherhood, got busy and kind of lost track of it. In any case, anime isn’t reality.
About the sniffing around and not asking in case a woman says no – it’s all lies anyway. It’s been demonstrated (I can’t remember the name of the study but it’s been mentioned here) that men know perfectly well when a woman isn’t interested; they do NOT need an actual verbal “NO PISS OFF YOU CREEP”. They understand body language and indirect verbal language just as well as women, but the NiceGuys(TM), the wannabe and actual rapists, choose to ignore it.
So fuck off with your whiny liar’s excuses, Abnoy.
Oh, and protip: plenty of people on this site know as much or more about anime, etc, as you do. And there are others among us who do. not. give. a. shit. about it. It’s less relevant than your average kitten video.
http://youtu.be/UYDknB_e7G0
This is true. Bodices cost too damn much to go letting someone rip them.
Deer + kitten = D’AWWWWW
Considering how weird the plots of a lot of anime series are it’s peculiar that Abnoy is just now noticing that they’re not a realistic depiction of everyday life.
Dear Abnoy – I regret to inform you that catgirls, sentient robots, and cats that double as buses are also not things that exist in reality. Anime has been lying to you all along!
cloudiah weeps silently.
I want a cat that doubles as a bus! I could curl up in fur and listen to purring on the way to work!
Though Monorail Cat is totally a thing, of course.
http://youtu.be/ryIOnaSsg64
@ Kittehs
If you ever find yourself in Japan, Studio Ghibli have a sort of theme park? Not quite sure how to describe it, but it’s totally possible to go play with the catbus there.
Nyan catbus!
Sex is not an equivalent exchange for being nice. Being nice back is an equivalent exchange dummy. You listened to my problems? I listen to your problems. You gave me a shoulder to cry on? I’ll give you one when you need it. That’s friendship, that’s WHAT IT IS. It’s funny, none of my lady friends expect sex in return when we shoot the shit. So what makes a man’s time more deserving of a sexual payment than a woman’s? Oh right misogyny. LOL.
I just figured out why Abnoy wants gender-separated planets! You see, in his mind all relationships between men and women are supposed to result in sex. This makes it confusing and frustrating for him when his barista, dry cleaner, and bus driver are female and yet they do not appear to be about to offer him sex any time soon. The creation of an all-male planet would solve this problem for him, thus it is a thing that needs to happen.
And if that thing were to come to existence, AO3 and tumblr would be filled with porn of it.
He’d better get sexbots on his all-male planet then, because his chances of getting sex in return for anything aren’t going to improve any. (Not that it’d be any change, I mean zero chance is still zero chance.)
Jessay@jessay,
“Sex is not an equivalent exchange for being nice. Being nice back is an equivalent exchange”
I agree with you. I think the problem is that many men don’t know how to approach women romantically so they try to become friends with them in hopes that the relationship will become sexual. I have had a few female friends who have wanted to pursue a sexual relationship after a period of friendship, but these were women I didn’t care to have sex with and I never went into the relationship as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
If you were foolish enough and gave it a shot and it’s not working. Just move on. If just friendship isn’t working, then go. No one needs to be in a relationship where they’re not happy. You might be surprised. She might miss you enough to give you some action though I doubt it.
@ Bee
“I suspect, however, that MRAs who are outraged that Dr. Coutinho’s pill isn’t available yet are more interested in pointing fingers at evil feminists and whining about how privileged women are because they have more birth control choices than actually paying for and taking a pill every day.”
As an MRA I can tell you that your suspicious are unfounded. Feminists should realize that it’s better to have a choice than not. Why would you think MRAs would rather not have the choice? Feminists do have a hard time recognizing that men are people too.
It’s simply a recognition of the fact that MRA’s hate women more than they love the idea of having a choice. Given how often MRA’s complain about the injustice that the simple act of intercourse no longer derails a woman’s career, turns her into a pariah or puts her life in danger, I doubt they are that eager for the male pill. Especially since the overwhelming majority of them are traditionalists who believe it’s women who should have to take care of contraception — preferably in an atmosphere where doing so is difficult, expensive and, ideally, requires a woman to break the law.
@ Pecunium
“Nope. He said “don’t let her enslave you, and take all your money by stealing your sperm.”
Wrong, read the post again. He said that having a child will enslave you (assuming that you didn’t want one) and the means by which a child is conceived doesn’t matter to the court.
“It doesn’t natter how someone attains your sperm. The courts will enforce child support orders (2) even if the sperm used to impregnate the woman was obtained through fraud, rape, theft, or coercion.”
Do you deny that women rape men? Do you deny that women can coerce men into sex? Do you deny that sperm obtained through rape is in fact a theft? By fraud, I would assume he meant that women will tell men that they are on birth control when they in fact aren’t as a means to get pregnant. Do you not think that this has happened?
A former girlfriend told me she couldn’t have children. I ran across her years later and she had a daughter. I guess I dodged several bullets.
I know of two instances where women have tried to trap a man into marriage (granted, not quite the same thing) by doing this. It worked in the first instance. In the second instance the guy changed residences to avoid paying the child support. She needed the money to keep her home. I was collecting for the homeowner’s association she owed the money to (wanted to make sure you didn’t think it was a mob thing). Don’t want to kill my MRA cred, but I tracked the guy down for her. The woman had three kids and I’ve got a soft spot for kids. I blame my mom.
Why do feminists constantly move the goal posts? Stealing sperm from a condom is not predatory because it never happened. It happened and a woman admitted to it. Well in that case it’s not predatory unless it happened twice. News flash. It’s predatory even if it only happened once and that wasn’t from the OP.
Most reasonable people would understand that the OP’s use of the words “even if” is an indication that most pregnancies are caused by unprotected intercourse, but some might not. I keep forgetting that feminists are not particularly reasonable. They have a need to see misogyny in everything. It feeds their victim hood fetish.
Go ahead and explain why that is the wrong interpretation of what the OP said.
@ Pecunium
“These things are not like each other.
Example A: A man refrains from sex with all women, on the basis of an irrational fear.
Example B: A woman refrains from sex with one man, without our having any idea why.”
And what of a woman who refrains from sex with all men do to an irrational fear? This is what I’m asking. Is there ever a reason a woman would abstain from sex that would make her a misandric twit?
What about celibacy on the basis of a belief? What is religion, but what someone believes? His “irrational fear” is what he believes to be true. I’m not arguing that his position is a good one to take. I think it’s unhealthy and is going to make his life miserable. I think he has better options. I’m just saying that he has a right to take it. He has a right to abstain from sex for any reason he chooses or no reason at all. Women are not entitled to have sex with him and he shouldn’t be virgin shamed for the choice that he made.
If he were to make other decisions concerning women that actually negatively impacted a woman’s right to something then I’d say he was misogynistic. Women aren’t entitled to relationships. This is an over reaction.
Oh, my goodness…don’t you know? An MRA decided to correct the Feminists’ version of the birth control pill: men created the pill, husbands were so, like, totally on board with it and pressured their wives to take it…their wives didn’t want to take the pill because only sluts took the pill and they didn’t want to be seen as sluts. But teh menz wanted their wives to be sluts! Husbands, tey pressured their precious, beloved wives to be teh slutz. Nice guys!