It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
Howard, you and she ought to go out for drinks:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/10/how-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-life-movement.html
Also, I’m going to keep plugging this book until everyone here reads it and tells me they love it (Except Trigger Warning!!):
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11045709-when-she-woke
And here I thought females were supposed to have so-called ”women`s intuition”; don`t they recognize human courtship behavior when they see it? Can`t they take subtle hints at all? And why don`t ”modern” women grow to love or fall in love with gentlemen anymore? Sigh, that`s always how it`s supposed to work in stories, once again the world has lied to us tsk tsk tsk
I left an absolutely embarrasing comment on that when I first read it. Like, fawning.
Because she figured it out a lot quicker than I did, and on her own. I had lots and lots of help and figured it out easily a decade later than she did.
I learn slow.
😛
Yeah, you give her your time and attention, she owes you at least her arm and leg!
That’s it. I’m done. [TW for animal cruelty]
For those who don’t want to follow the link, a student’s experiments have shown that a nonzero number of drivers will go out of their way to deliberately squash turtles on the road.
“Friendzoning violates the alchemical principle of Equivalent Exchange…”
For the third time this week, anime is not real. FMA is awesome, yes, but not representive of reality (neither this one nor any other)
Not only is Equivalent Exchange non-worky, but that exchange he’s talking about… isn’t as unequal as he pretends.
The Nice Guy gives friendship.
He gets friendship.
OH HAI GOOD ENOUGH WE ARE DONE HERE.
Oh, no. That’s not good enough for the Nice Guy. She owes him, now.
Wait… why? Didn’t she give back what was offered? What was freely given? (freely? Peh, I spit on Nice Guys!)
Well, no. He wants back a return of SexAndRomanceAndFeelings for friendship.
Protip: equivalent exchange is, as Argenti said, pretty bullshit in itself. I’ve given some friends more than I would ever ask back. I’ve taken much more than any sensible person would give me from other friends. Because sometimes you give friends more, because they’re your friends and you can. And sometimes you don’t have it give even if you wanted to, and that’s sad, but they’re still friends. Because if you’re measuring it all out and carefully keeping some people in debt to you THEN YOU’RE NOT THEIR FUCKING FRIEND, ASSHOLE.
BUT: even if you’re working your friendships that way, nobody owes you SexAndRomanceAndFeelings for friendship. Not even for good friendship. The most they owe back is friendship.
Also, I’m totally watching FMA now for the first time, and I am totally and utterly in love with it.
NO SPOILERS PLEASE
“Also, I’m totally watching FMA now for the first time, and I am totally and utterly in love with it.
NO SPOILERS PLEASE”
Glad I didn’t include all of that train of thought then! Enjoy it, and never, ever, call Ed short XD
OK, the FMA bit was hilarious, but nobody’s going for this bit?
Abnoy, you’re violating the physical principle of gravity by not jumping in a lake.
First, halfwit, what’s with calling women “females”? That suggests you don’t see us as human, so unless you’re into bestiality, why would you want sex with us anyway. Problem solved, piss off and go back to wanking.
You seem to be so caught up in your anime fantasy that you don’t ever look at the real world. “Modern women” are in relationships everywhere. So are “modern men,” whether or not they fit your definition of gentlemen (which I’m guessing is something c. 1850). The only people who seem to think nobody’s in relationships – of the happy and lasting variety, at least – are tossers in the MRM and MGTOW.
Oh, and guess what, men can speak. They have words. If they are interested in a relationship with someone, they need to Say. So. People are not mind readers and your fantasies about women’s intuition are crap. Incidentally, NiceGuys(TM) are not nice guys, and the best thing a woman could do is get away from them, because they are predatory creeps. And nobody, NOBODY, is owed a sexual relationship. It is not a bloody transaction. Fake affection (because that’s what it is, isn’t it – you’re only doing it to get into her pants, not because you actually value her as a person) doesn’t mean you’re owed sex. Hell, even real affection doesn’t mean that, as Howard pointed out much more eloquently above.
Incidentally, I am a modern woman who’s been in love with the same man (who is certainly a gentleman in my experience, more so than you could conceive let alone emulate) for over thirty years.
Now go fuck yourself, because nobody else is likely to be interested.
“Sigh, that`s always how it`s supposed to work in stories, once again the world has lied to us tsk tsk tsk”
OMGS he’s learning!
ABNOY, please tell me you didn’t seriously think that Disney and their ilk were selling anything besides fantasy. (Then again you keep acting like anime represents reality.)
And ffs, do not go blaming women for the fact that fictional stories are, well, fictional.
Wetherby: Forgive me if I’m either stating the obvious or repeating a point that has come up already, but what’s stopping someone scared of spermburgling from thoroughly washing out the condom prior to throwing it away?
It has. The MRM has some people who recommend adding strong acids, or hot sauce to the condom (before discarding) so the “greedy spermburgler will suffer for her attempted crimes.
Abnoy’s Complaint: And here I thought females were supposed to have so-called ”women`s intuition”; don`t they recognize human courtship behavior when they see it?
Even if they do (and many, maybe most, do), that YOU want to fuck her doesn’t make it incumbent on her to fuck you.
And why don`t ”modern” women grow to love or fall in love with gentlemen anymore?
They do. Nice Guys™ aren’t gentlemen. They are abusive shits who try to look pleasant.
Yanno, my 14 year old grandson’s friend got into a world of hurt at school with one of his classmates because he didn’t know the difference between the courtship rituals that only work in fiction and the ones that actually operate in the real world. He was 14, though, so there was hope for him. Unless Annoy is very very young I don’t think he is going to be able to figure it out without counseling.
“Abnoy’s Complaint” – heheheheh
@ pecunium- I suspect ‘women’s intuition’ is actually just familiarity with a set of circumstances that men don’t come in contact with in their day to day lives. More of their friends get preggers, they are more familiar with how female hormones affect (or effect- I can never sort those two out) women, they ‘intuit’ a woman is pregnant. And others of a similar vein. And so, Abnoy, you have to come across more than one skeezy Nice Guy TM to realize that you are being ‘befriended’ by a Nice Guy TM. The nasty bitches who shut you down before letting you worm into their life- that’s women’s intuition at work.
@ Howard- It’s not how long it takes you to learn stuff, it’s when you get there. And how admirably you behave afterwards. Your comment made quite a few people happy, and that’s nothing to sneeze at.
It is called “a gut feeling” when men do it and “women’s intuition” when women do it.
What it is is your brain processing and cataloging info faster than your conscious mind can observe. It takes a little training and practice but you can learn to dredge up and identify the clues that cohere into “I just have a feeling”. You are actually having a thinking.
And how often are women told -directly or indirectly – to ignore any doubts or gut feelings they have about a man or a situation? All the time. Give him a chance, he’s a nice guy, don’t be so mistrustful, blah blah blah. And then when he turns out to be a creep or an abuser or a stalker or just not someone she wants to be with, guess whose fault it is? Hers, for not knowing. If he’s carefully masked his intentions, whose fault is it for not knowing? Hers.
Many guys don`t like to ask directly in case the gal flat-out-right refuses. Horrors and terrors ! After all, the only two words a gal can say that would really offend a guy are ”no” and ”stop” :p. And what if it were the ladies who created those fictions in the first place,eh ? Ex. Female romance literature in all it`s forms? * Btw Fyi , FMA anime has two series: the first, simply called FMA, which becomes an AU from the manga after episode 21 or so and has a follow-up movieOVA : Conqueror of Shamballa ; and FMA: Brotherhood which strictly follows the manga and has a movie, Milos, which is an all-new prequel story written by the series creator. Just in case you don’t know…
Sigh, seriously. Say, whatever happened to heartless bitches international? They coined Nice Guys TM and just owned the internet for a few years, then they sort of went away.
That’s right, HBI did coin the term. But the term was sort of streamlined over time by so many others. I mean, HBI had an extensive list of traits that make a “Nice Guy,” but I didn’t agree with them all. Like, “Call his mother all the time,” and “Used to take drugs.” Some of their posts were more spot on than others.
Yeah, Annoy, that whole using words to communicate thingummy is totally fraught with danger.
“Many guys don`t like to ask directly in case the gal flat-out-right refuses. Horrors and terrors !”
Abnoy, are you complaining while pretending to be sarcastic? Seriously, I’m asking you.
“After all, the only two words a gal can say that would really offend a guy are ”no” and ”stop” :p.
Abnoy, are you complaining while pretending to be sarcastic?
“And what if it were the ladies who created those fictions in the first place,eh ? Ex. Female romance literature in all it`s forms? *”
I’m not sure what you’re trying to say there. Women have created romance literature of course, but the damaging stuff seems to be teen movies, as in — like a girl? She doesn’t know you’re alive? Then pester her by god, until she realizes you are the one! That’s from “I love You Beth Cooper,” and a million others.
“Btw Fyi , FMA anime has two series: the first, simply called FMA, which becomes an AU from the manga after episode 21 or so and has a follow-up movieOVA : Conqueror of Shamballa ; and FMA: Brotherhood which strictly follows the manga and has a movie, Milos, which is an all-new prequel story written by the series creator. Just in case you don’t know…”
Mansplaining…loves it to bits!
So…guys don’t want to ask for sex…because they’re afraid she might refuse?
Do you see the problem here?