It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
It’s funny how every Nice Guy lament starts with some variation on “women always wonder where all the nice guys have gone”. I don’t wonder where the nice guys have gone, because they never went anywhere – I know lots of them, and always have. Nice is not a rare quality. None of my friends or family members lament the lack of nice guys, because they all no some.
What I’m saying is that it would help if they stopped having conversations with the imaginary woman who lives in their head, because she seems to be a little atypical.
I laugh at how they whine about being “used” as emotional support, unpaid psychologist, etc, etc. Me, I’d be talking to women friends that way, not men, but that aside – why are they offering this emotional support in the first place if they dislike doing it so much? Oh yeah, because emotional intimacy (even if it’s faked) means you are owed physical intimacy. And whoo do they get pissed off when there’s no payout. No, there’s nothing nice about NiceGuys(TM). Creepy and entitled, yeah, but not nice.
I have a suspicion that when “nice guys” suffering in the “friendzone” give advice what they are actually doing is mansplaining.
It’s pretty funny how they describe in outraged tones how they LISTENED to the woman and SPENT TIME TOGETHER and CARED ABOUT HER PROBLEMS (pretended to anyway) and how dare she do that to them? Like, dude, it’s called friendship. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and making you be her friend.
@thebewilderness
+1
Yeah, it shows exactly what they think of women – we’re not people at all, we’re just sexthings who think we are. Fancy a sexthing thinking a
manperson would actually want to spend time talking to it or hanging out or listening to it for its own sake?I always get the impression that a lot of those guys don’t really have any guy friends either. It’s not just sexism, it’s a sort of emotional illiteracy. They don’t seem to understand how relationships of any kind work.
Ugh I’ve had to deal with friendzoned victims before. In my opinion if they really CARED ABOUT HER PROBLEMS they’d probably take into consideration that he’s making her very uncomfortable, at least that’s the reason I had to get rid of some of my friendzoned victims. Now I just try to let them know straight up if anything is going to happen or not. Then they can’t complain because they already know I’m not interested and I give them a clear way out if it will cause problems. They don’t always take it, but…at least you tried
After lurking here for about 18 months, I’m finally going to ask something that I wonder about every time I read this line of BS. If it’s already been answered, sorry:
If this isn’t just a faux complaint, and these dudes really are imagining evul wimminz about to “write IOUs” for $100k or whatever then why the hell don’t they protect themselves by either:
(a) GTOW like many of their misogynist brethren, or
(b) just getting a vasectomy already
“Problem” solved! Any opinions?
(And yes, this is serious. I have some ideas, but as a fairly recent convert to feminism, I’d like to hear from experts in troll thought processes.)
Sorry about the rant. I dont understand all the hate on feminism. Why is so bad to not want to be raped, beaten and to be allowed to leave the house? When you think about it feminism is the only movement that holds men to a higher standard than uncivilized Sasquatches….but I just answered my own question, it is a problem for men who ARE uncivilized Sasquatches.
The one that bothered me back in college had friends. He was OK with socializing too. But if he wanted to have sex with you, he ceased to see a human being. He just ran this movie in his head that was on contual loop and ignored anything I said in real life.
He actually tried to get himself friendzoned — he wanted to talk about my then boyfriend, but I wouldn’t, it felt too creepy. I wouldn’t take his phone calls either. When I told him to stop hitting on me, he said I was too sensitive…because you know, he was just kidding.
I met another girl who turned him down and he attempted to analyze her. *eyeroll*
I tend to initiate the “just do we’re clear, let’s talk about where this is going” conversation pretty early into a friendship. It’s a great way to smoke out potential Nice Guys (and to avoid we-both-liked-each-other-and-neither-ever-knew situations), and as much as they say that they wish women would just be honest with them, they really don’t appreciate that honesty when it actually happens.
(I don’t do the talking about my boyfriend as a hint thing – too direct, too Scottish.)
@cassandra I agree, it almost never works. In my experience a lot of them just assume that my boyfriend and I will split at any second and then there he is. It just leads to problems.
Let me take a stab at this, compared to why they hate the CDC this one seems simple.
(a) They think they’re entitled to sex but feminism / feminism ruled gov’n has corrupted the morals of women. In MRA land there actually was a time like the idealized 50s with stay at home mothers who would never think of divorce, nor require his money for things like SCENTED FUCKING CANDLES.
(b) Because learning self-control, birth control, and this supposed lack of morals ae all problems for women to solve. And, to a certain degree, because getting snipped is emasculating.
Also, “the troll thought process” is often straight up delusional, I wish you luck in figuring it out without imploding (hence the cute animal videos, they’re brain bleach)
I used to think vasectomy was castration when I was, oh, about ten or twelve. Funny thing is, I grew up and learned the difference. I wonder if these clowns have?
I dated a Nice Guy (TM) just so I wouldn’t be the bitch who friendzoned nice guys, waaaaay back in the day before I knew better.
Turned out he was a rapist.
Oh gods, whataboutthemoonz, how horrible. Internet hugs if you want them.
@The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help
I’m a CS Lewis fan, and this reminded me of one of his quotes – not squarely fitting with what you said, since his is about the suddenness of the thing that provoked the reaction (in his case, not being charitable) – but it is basically what you are saying about them revealing their real selves:
There’s a core of anger in a lot of Nice Guys that prompts a classic Gift-of-Fear response (especially online, where they make less effort to hide their sense of entitlement). Which is one of the reasons that I so strongly object to their attempts to guilt trip women out of listening to those instincts.
Not nice. Not even a little bit.
Had a vasectomy. Not fun, but not that horrible either. Serious swelling (insert your own joke here if you must), bruising that looks far worse than it feels, NOT in the mood for at least a week, and a little gingerly after that for another, but the sense of relief is worth it. I will never create an unwanted pregnancy, be “spermjacked” by an imaginary feminist who wants all the $$$ that I don’t have, or need to use a condom with Freitag’s Friend who is a FWB and is disease-free.
It’s not that big a deal. MRAs, if you truly fear Teh Ebbul Spermjacking Feminazis, get the snip. It only takes about half an hour.
@whataboutthemoonz, I am so sorry. Nobody should ever have to endure that. Ever. There is noplace I can think of where that is OK.
Rahu – that Lewis quote is excellent, and yeah, I think it’s very applicable here.
Thank you for the internet hugs. It was fairly horrible, but I’m doing the therapy thing and I’m doing much better now.
Point I was getting at is that when Nice Guys (TM) flash a glimpse of an entitlement complex, it is actually going a LOT deeper than people tend to realize. When they try to convince women that they’re not dangerous because they are good guys unlike all those other assholes, they’re trying to guilt trip women out of running away from them in terror, which is what they SHOULD be doing.
Again, Gift of Fear talks about this. If someone randomly says “I’m not going to hurt you” it usually means that they are in fact planning to hurt you. People whose intentions are good don’t feel the need to go around telling everyone how good their intentions are. It’s a warning sign.
Thanks, The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help!