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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Tradition lives long past the time it was useful. We simply will not starve if we do not have children to hunt the mammoth for us when we are old. Nor will we starve if we do not have a manly man to hunt the mammoth for us. This appears to piss some men of in a very major way. I hear they even organize groups.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

hellkell – don’t you love the way they keep up this BS even when we’re in our forties? Woman at a bra shop asked if I was pregnant when I bought a maternity bra a couple of years back. Reasonable enough question (I wear ’em because they’re more comfortable than most) and I don’t look my age, but when I laughed and said no, because 1) I don’t want them and even if I did it’s a bit late at 47, she said “There’s still time!”

WTF? Wishing pregnancy on a 47-year-old who’s just said she doesn’t want children anyway? Oy.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

there was meant to be a 2) in there …

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Yeah, it’s weird. Not long ago a woman asked me how many children I have. I told her “none,” and she stood there silent, stabbing me in the face with her cold glare. What the hell is that? Not a mother, so you most be a whore? These people….

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“@Argenti Aertheri

I would like to know what troll or trolling guy means?”

English seems to be your second language, so I’ll forgive you for wording that as a statement but using a question mark (that is, after all, something that does occur in Latin / Latin based languages).

That note aside, why is that question directed at me? In case you didn’t notice, I wasn’t the only one to call you a troll. Multiple pages of the same absurd (and fallacious) argument will generally get one labelled a troll.

Anyone else smelling dirty old socks here? Do we have another puppet? (If so, let it be anyone besides Mr. Al >.< )

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Can we not get a new troll? I wanted a new troll for Christmas.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I wasn’t picking up Sock Smell, though that whole “MRAs and feminists are the same” twaddle has done the rounds often enough. Mind you I’m not that quick at Spot the Troll.

Heheh I just re-read that as “Spock the Troll,” which is kind of an appealing idea.

Ice
Ice
11 years ago

I don’t know if anyone saw this, but this appeared on my tumblr. About the guy who runs Good Men Project. Sorry for OT, but I guessed you might like to see this.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Usually when they bring the ‘I am completely ignorant on the subject but will share my opinion anyway’ routine odds are that there will be a rather familiar odor wafting from under the bridge quite soon.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Ice: I don’t know if any of that is true, but GMP has always given me the creeps and has been extra-special repellent lately.

Ice
Ice
11 years ago

@hellkell

Exactly. Before the whole extra-special creepy as of late, I probably would have passed by that post with a shrug, but after all their recent crap, I think it’s worth spreading.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Kitten – I might be wrong, not like cluelessness is a trait limited to our long term repeat trolls. And “Spock the Troll” is awesome.

A new troll, of the “female penguins are whores” or “there’s no evolution or there’d be super-dogs” varieties, would be great. Our trolls have gotten boring and/or repulsive. (Hey Steele, there’s a viable synonym for vile for you!)

CassandraSays
11 years ago

There’s just nothing good about that site. The guy who turns up on every article that gets re-posted on Jezebel to pick fights with the commenters and tell them that they’re ruining feminism by putting off men like him and blah blah? Such an asshole.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Which jagoff is that, Cassandra? I hate that damn comment system they have now. Troll-o-rama up in there.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Imagine the sort of things Spock would say if he was trolling! 😀

Cluelessness seems such a basic ingredient with the MRM and their sympathisers that I can’t really distinguish between old and new trolls. I’ve never seen one here who wasn’t.

I wonder if trolls are suffering from a shrinking gene pool? The species seems to be in serious decline in these parts. Or maybe competition from the superdogs has pushed them to the brink of extinction?

Ice
Ice
11 years ago

Which reminds me, I also spent good chunk of the day reading the DrinkSavvy article comments on Jezebel today. Don’t do it if you want to lose another part of your faith in humanity. The amount of victim blaming made me want to vomit.

(And I should probably stop bouncing through various off topics for now. Sorry. :P)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ice, I just looked at that link – I thought GMP was run by Tom Matlack? I used to read his articles on occasion on HP. Wouldn’t touch anything of theirs since it became an openly MRA infested, rape-apologist site. Oh, I read somewhere that Ozy was cutting links with them, too, which is a relief if true.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

This boring troll is just venting here. I can’t seem to stop wanting to take some of their concerns seriously (rape, limited contraceptives, etc) but can’t seem to get past stomach-curdling comments, article titles, confirmation that such jokes as “thinks with the little head more than the big head” was really not a joke, “nice guy” doesn’t seem to really mean “nice guy”, blech….you guys are stuck with me. Besides, you have cute kitteh vids.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
11 years ago

Tom Matlack is definitely better known for running GMP, but Noah Brand has had several high-profile positions with them over the years, including Editor in Chief at the present. I think he might have been the person who recruited Ozy’s blog for GMP?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ah, thanks, for that, reginaldgriswold. 🙂

Tina – hey, new people who appreciate kitteh vids are always welcome!

MRMs never seem to grasp that a nice guy is not the same as a Nice Guy (TM). It’s the latter that people complain/laugh about. The TM variety isn’t nice at all – that’s the whole point, which the MRM, of course, misses entirely. NiceGuy(TM)s are manipulative twerps who don’t actually like women for themselves or want friendship; they’re acting as if women are Sex Dispensing Machines who’ve taken their Kindness Coins and not produced the candy. The number of times you see these losers say “I was a nice guy and it got me nowhere, so now I’m being an asshole!” tells you they were assholes all along, they’ve just changed their methods. The whole BS about being “friendzoned” says it all. Men and women can’t be friends, oh no, women are there for sex and if they’re not putting out for the men who want them (and who may never even have bothered saying so), they’re just bitches.

::blows raspberry in general direction of MRM and associated losers::

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

I think he might have been the person who recruited Ozy’s blog for GMP?

Yeah, he was one of the main contributors to No, Seriously, What About teh Menz, along with Ozy.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ hellkell

Tom, I think? I seem to remember a particularly lulzy fight over Chelsea Lately. He’s fond of the idea that all women should be the way he wants them to be and that’s feminism because it’s women expressing their true (to his preferences) natures or some shit like that.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

I’m going to not post a long, serious comment and just stick with simpler: those otters are so cute, that cotton seed male b/c doc created a pill that sterilized men and for some reason he presented it to feminists for approval (why? women aren’t the ones taking it), the WHO is the one who stopped the human trials and not the feminists and I’m learning about “nice guys” thanks to one of the links someone provided with really funny/sad photos and ..er, comments (I’m a nice guy” and “no” means “yes with some persuasion”, oh and for heavens’ sake ladies keep your legs shaved …….)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Tina, is the link you got the Shakesville article? That has some classic whining in the comments.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“that cotton seed male b/c doc created a pill that sterilized men and for some reason he presented it to feminists for approval (why? women aren’t the ones taking it)”

Because in MRA land feminists rule everything, it’s a gynocracy, or maybe a gyno-conspiracy…hard to keep up with their paranoia. In any case, it doesn’t matter that the CDC stopped the trials, since the CDC is run by feminist government agents. And no, I’m not making this up, NWO used to attempt to mock me for citing the CDC, since they’re gov’n run and thus part of the new world order…which might or migh not be feminist run, he never was clear on that point.

(How bad is it that I almost miss those days? This current crop of trolls might rank as the worst harvest on record. I’m just full of bad jokes tonight huh? Sorry!)

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