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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Yeah, I honestly can’t even believe this is an argument when a vasectomy is available to men so easily and, in comparison to women’s birth control, cheaply. If we had a comparably easy procedure I would be getting it in a heartbeat… oh except that I’d probably have to argue with doctors who don’t believe I know my mind and my needs and still ignorantly believe in the ticking clock bullshit that everyone tries to convince me of. “You’ll change your mind soon enough.” But still, I would find that doctor willing to do it tomorrow and get it done.

It’s just another example of male privilege tbh. You have the luxury of ignoring something that’s so convenient because, in the grand scheme of things, what PerfectBlue said was 100% accurate.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

I really would like some sort of explanation of why vasectomy isn’t considered the solution to this “problem”. Is it just more fun being paranoid? Because the solution to that paranoia is in…well, not your own hands, but the hands of your friendly neighborhood doctor. If you’re worried that the reversal process might not work you can always put some sperm samples on ice for later use if needed.

freitag235
freitag235
11 years ago

It’s even covered by insurance. Have the procedure done on a Friday, and plan to spend the weekend recuperating. Expect soreness and swelling and to be out of the game for a week or so. Then back to normal, only with no chance of causing an unplanned pregnancy. It’s not that big a deal.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

oh except that I’d probably have to argue with doctors who don’t believe I know my mind and my needs and still ignorantly believe in the ticking clock bullshit that everyone tries to convince me of. “You’ll change your mind soon enough.”

I’m 41 and still get this bullshit. The last time I asked about Essure or more permanent BC at my old doctor, I got a look like I asked if they had a kitten I could eat raw, and a “no” that was extremely fucking uptight. It’s like, come on, I’m 41, if I were going to do the job of parenting, I would have done it already.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

blockquote FAIL. dammit.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

It’s funny how they try to paint all women as sperm jackers because, when you look at my relationship. it couldn’t be further from the truth. We’ve been mostly on for the past 5 years, everyone is telling us we want marriage and children. What we want is to live independently, I want to keep working my way up in the film industry, a career which spares very little time for a family even if I did want one, and he wants to just work enough to live comfortably while having the free time to hike and do the things he enjoys on a regular basis. We want a dog and a cat that love each other. And even though our parents are starting to really push for grandchildren, we have zero interest. In fact, in both of our eyes, accidentally getting pregnant would be a life ruiner, that’s how strong our position is against them We are on the exact same page, which is why we’re saving for his vasectomy, so that we can stop worrying about condom breakage and failing birth control once and for all. I couldn’t be happier. I don’t even insist he save sperm, he can if he wants to, but I figure if I really do get that maternal instinct later down the line I would much prefer adoption anyways. Might as well make it the only option and help a needy child.

And that’s the trick, finding someone who wants what you want, and not settling for someone who doesn’t just to have someone. I’ve dated men who wanted kids and it didn’t work out because in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “I’m gonna spend five years with this person and then they’re gonna start pressuring me to have kids I don’t want and them break up with me over it when I’m really attached.” Wanting kids is a deal breaker to me because, if I have kids to please them I’m gonna be miserable, if they don’t have kids to please me they’re gonna be miserable. Why would anyone want a relationship where one party has to be miserable in order to make it work?

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

hellkell, I really believe that most people are too pressured by society into believing that marriage and children is the only form of fulfillment to understand that some of us just don’t want that. They paint it as this wonderful picture when it is so much more complicated than that. So many people are deluding themselves. I feel that if our society was a bit more realistic and encouraged people to go after their dreams, not the “American dream,” and put less stake in “If you aren’t married with children and a big house by 30 you’re a failure,” we’d be seeing a lot more people opt out of that lifestyle and have a lot less unfit parents. When I hear about my friends in their early 20’s who work in customer service getting knocked up by their boyfriends and everyone is celebrating, I’m sad. I’m like, “There goes their life, they don’t even like kids.” Meanwhile, when I hear my cousin who is almost 28, found a man she is super compatible with, who she married, they both have good jobs (and she works in child care, so she’s in no way delusional about what child rearing takes), and a house, is trying to get pregnant, I’m super happy for her.

I just wish people had children because they love children, are financially and emotionally stable in a way that can support a child, and are realistic about what having a child means. NOT because they have the narcissistic urge to “have a mini me” like one douche I met at a bar once said, or because their parents want grandchildren, or because they think it’s what you do, or they desire unconditional love (lol, your kid is going to HATE you at times). But our culture celebrates having babies just to have babies unfortunately. So people like us who don’t ever want them wind up being told by everyone else that we really do.

Starla
Starla
11 years ago

It’s articles like these that make me 100% positive the ones writing them don’t have children. Ever tried giving birth? I haven’t but I’ve heard it’s a painful process and nobody could pay me any amount of money to do it. That and children are incredibly demanding, difficult to handle and EXPENSIVE. It’s completely absurd that any woman would put herself through that for money. And on top of that single moms have a permanent stigma and their chances of finding love become much slimmer….but no, they want your money. Not every woman wants to be a mother (I definitely don’t!), and to say that they would go out of their way to become one for money is stupid, especially with all the expenses children come with…but I guess we’re way too codependent, lazy, and dumb to figure that out..

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

On the matter of wanting children – what’s the bet the MRAs who rant/whine about spermjacking because all women are evil succubi trying to breed by any means, also think* women who do. not. want. children. are evil unnatural barren harpies?

I don’t like children at all and if I became pregnant – even if my beloved, whose grown children I love, were able to make me pregnant – I’d be off for an abortion so fast you wouldn’t see me for dust.

*I use the term very loosely

Bee
Bee
11 years ago

Oh, Jessay … if MRAs were reasonable and had vasectomies if they wanted children or sought partners who shared their interests and wants, then they couldn’t be irrationally pissed off at women all the time, and what fun would that be?

BPN001
BPN001
11 years ago

Feminism has much to teach both men and women. Men should now be thinking NOT of how they can support and protect women and children, but of how they can protect themselves FROM women and children. Men need to adopt feminist principles in terms of how these principles benefit themselves. Women are getting big payoffs through government manipulation, legal manipulation and welfare manipulation. It won’t be long before the inevitable backfire hits them smack in the face. To a large degree, that’s already happening. Men need to wake up to these facts. I’m one of those guys that wouldn’t touch marriage or family responsibilities with the penis of my worst enemy. No one deserves that fate. As one of those guys that’s on the list of sixes, I wouldn’t dare engage in an LTR nor entertain the thought of marriage/children. Birth control for guys is easy to achieve. Today’s women are knee deep in dishing out the same manure that they sought to fight and are not worth anything beyond casual sexual fullfillment.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Remember the FeMRA who said that if you don’t want kids you’re not really a woman? This game is rigged so that women always lose.

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
11 years ago

@ Unpaid Help

Ah, yes, I believe I will take “Cognitive Dissonance” for 400, Alex.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Ah yes, the “game.” I realized awhile ago that I don’t want to play it. Sometimes I get the stink-eye for it, but fuck it.

Hey, look…Polly Vernon’s article on how it takes guts to admit you don’t want kids:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jun/14/polly-vernon-childlessness-cameron-diaz-babies

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“I also know the BBC did a re-running of Milgram (I want to say ca 2005-2007, but I don’t have the dates solidly in my mind), with random people. They got pretty much the same results.” — 2008, here’s Reuters discussing it.

“Projection seems to be a common problem among trolls.” — more projection than a movie theater (terrible joke is terrible, sorry *goes to the corner of shame*)

Is boring troll gone finally?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Owww, check out this graph from Polly’s article:

“The furore’s blown over; my childlessness endures. I’ve registered a gender split in the way people respond to it, if it comes up socially.

Women might think I’m in denial, but they let me get on with it now. Men, meanwhile, are astounded. Flummoxed. They become aggressive, sneering. They psychoanalyse me, they try to work out what’s wrong with me. Who knows why? Perhaps they feel rejected. Perhaps the idea that there are women at large who are not actively pursuing their sperm is an out-and-out affront to a certain kind of man. The same men who have spent years believing that all women secretly want to trap them into commitment and fatherhood, probably.”

Starla
Starla
11 years ago

I wonder what they think of women who have tried to have their tubes tide but were denied because people think they know what women want more than they do…anyone want to step up and answer that one?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I’ve been abused in public for simply not wanting some stranger’s ice cream-wielding kid using my clothes as a napkin, or my lap as a pillow.

freitag235
freitag235
11 years ago

I wonder what they think of women who have tried to have their tubes tide but were denied because people think they know what women want more than they do…anyone want to step up and answer that one?

I can’t answer it, but I did have my own doctor try and talk me out of it, citing the odds against a successful reversal. The pressure to want kids, even when you don’t and know you don’t, is powerful.

freitag235
freitag235
11 years ago

*vasectomy* that is.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Oh yes, and I suspect the “but what about children” thing is lurking in the back of people’s minds when they think I’m missing out on a quote physical relationship unquote because of the nature of my relationship with Mr K.

To which the answer is that we have a very physical relationship*, and I am missing out on nothing, least of all children I don’t want!

*best delivered in a voice dripping with innuendo

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Starla: I don’t know what they think other than that I’ll change my mind someday, because what woman in her right mind doesn’t want babies?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I’ve had rude ass people ask me what Mr. HK thinks about my not wanting kids, to which they get told that we are on the same page about it, because we talked it over. They seem to think that I’m some horrible harpy keeping him from his genetic legacy or something.

Thinker11235
11 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

I would like to know what troll or trolling guy means?

This word reminds me Trololo Guy – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwb4-zrgYdc

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Google is your friend.

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