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$MONEY$ cock blockade dozens of upvotes evil women evo psych fairy tales I'm totally being sarcastic men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men paranoia playing the victim precious bodily fluids reddit spermjacking

Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”

Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence

It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:

MRspermworth92k

Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.

In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:

MRspermBoogywoman

Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:

MRspermPredatory

And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!

MRspermSuccubus

Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.

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Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Also, freezing while working out?”

I’ll attest that even ice skating isn’t cold if you’re actually skating.

“The Kitteh, you’re projecting again.”

….said Steele, repeatedly. Can we get a Mr. Al check?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

So, Mr Dumbass, Reductionist, you think that asexual guys don’t exist? Or that every young man has some default level of horniness, and an apparent inability to think above the waist? Or that women’s default setting is to want men ogling them? Nice way of writing off gay or asexual women or just those heterosexual women who don’t care for being gawped at, or don’t give a shit for the opinion of random dudes. You’re very fond of claiming other people here are projecting, but what the fuck do you think you’re doing with your latest stupid statements?

If you’re just another one of Mr Al’s socks, piss off. You’ve won your trophy. Sock or not, you’re even more boring than Abnoy. Go back to wanking about your imaginary gym buddies.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yeah, I’m thinking it’s time to check that, too, Argenti. The whiff of smelly socks is getting much stronger.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Do we have any trolls left that aren’t Mr Al other than the FeMRAs?

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

katz

Way to totally miss the point.

Its not rocket science. You can make someone more aggressive by injecting them with steroids. Or more placid with oxycontin. Drugs change people.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

Cassandra,

Do you never go out and meet people? I mean people from different social groups than the narrow one you seem to live in?

I asked her why in my college gym, so many of the girls did their hair, barely worked out, and wore extremely skimpy clothes. That was the answer. Maybe you’ve never been to a bunch of different gyms, but its not that uncommon. I have had gym memberships everywhere I’ve lived, and in places where the women are more likely to be married, they didn’t do that. Maybe this doesn’t fit in with your view of how the world should be, but it is the actual experience I have had.

(but when its something you don’t want to hear, its pretend, huh?)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Go away, child, and take your idiotic ideas about women with you.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
7 years ago

The Kitteh

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Scroll up to see where I address guys with low desire, and gay guys.

Some women want to be ogled, and they dress in a way that will get them ogled. It isn’t a blanket universal statement, but its generally true.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Do we have any trolls left that aren’t Mr Al other than the FeMRAs?”

Pell, NWO, DKM, and probably ABNOY, but I’m not sure I’d put money on any of them (NWO maybe, his anger seemed too…pure…to fake)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

NWO is never here any more, though. Shame, he was much more fun to argue with than the current many variations on the theme “I am a dumb, self-centered young man who thinks that the world should revolve around my cock”.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

I know, his bad math was fun to pick at. DKM’s gone too huh? Leaves us with the rare Pell Incident and abnoying.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Way to go about claiming people don’t read all your walls of text, O boring one. You’re not exactly noted for reading, let alone comprehending, anything anyone else posts. You’re sounding more and more like Steele. Got any spare semicolons lying around, or did you use ’em all up, Mr Al?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Got any spare semicolons lying around…”

I have a few for Diogenes the Dull — >.<;;;; (please let the Unicode work!)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?”

Inquiring minds demand to know? I believe Diogenes the Dull is implying that 1) you’re too old to be a horny young man and 2) that you were a horny young man in your young days, and, of course, 3) that you had no sense of decency before you hit some arbitrary age. (Hey Diogenes? My 50+ year old father still hasn’t hit that age.)

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

I don’t know whether my mind is reeling at the assertion that a) the reason my partner isn’t a misogynist sex pest is because he’s vegan and therefore ‘feminised’, or b) all vegans only get protein through soy. Apparently beans, lentils, beansprouts, nuts, seeds and chickpeas don’t exist on Planet Dumbfuck. I can’t even remember the last time we ate soy, it’s got to be at least a month ago.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

*reeling MORE at

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Surely you don’t expect someone like Abnoy to be able to cook?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Or wait, was it Frothy that time? They’re starting to blend into a solid mass of dumb, sexist perpetual adolescent in my memory

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

It was Diogenes:

We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is. I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

WELL YEAH IF YOU DISCOUNT ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO DON’T FIT MY IDEA FOR REASONS I HAVE YET TO FATHOM, AND IGNORE THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS WHO JUST PLAIN DON’T DO WHAT I AM SAYING, THIS IS ALWAYS THE CASE.

BigMomma
BigMomma
7 years ago

Shit, my partner of the last 21years who plays rugby, eats meat and respects women must be about to cancel himself in a puff of logic.

emilygoddess
7 years ago

Hey Diogenes, you’re aware that your one friend doesn’t speak for all women, right? Maybe she thrives on male attention, but there are any number of reasons a woman might try to look pretty at the gym. Like maybe we’re feeling the ubiquitous cultural pressure for women to be attractive to men at all times. Maybe we’ve had one too many men try to mock or belittle her for not being attractive enough. Maybe we’re bombarded at every turn by ads for cosmetics, diets, and miracle medical treatments, ads which want us to believe that our primary – or only – value to society is the degree to which men find us appealing. Hell, even “women would die without male attention” could be what happens when someone internalizes those messages.

Or the one opinion of your one friend could be what all women are secretly thinking. I suppose that’s possible.

pecunium
7 years ago

Diogenes: If sex wasn’t something some people want more than others, then why do hookers exist?

For someone who claims to be so very intelligent this is a pretty simplistic way to look at things. The reasons for prostitution are complicated, and will probably never be completely explained.

But “wanting sex more than others” isn’t it.

If you look at the history of things, women have been; for much of time, in most of the world, sequestered in some way. Men have restricted the ability of women to have free sexual agency. This, not some vast difference in desire between the sexes, is the probable reason for the origins of prostitution.

Once created it could not but persist. In the present the driving forces include things like a desire to not have to see the woman as a person, but sex as a commodity. You pay her, she fucks you. This is something a lot of guys (not just the MRM) have taken as the model for male/female interaction. They just reduce it to drinks, or dinner.

Dr. Drew said it best when he says that “young men are on drugs.” We get a rush of chemicals that make us act a certain way. Thats just the way it is.

Bullshit. Young people are all carbonating hormones. The boys aren’t getting any significantly different rushes than the girls. They are just told (by people like you, and Dr. Drew) that the boys are allowed to act on it, and if a girl does, it’s because she some shameless hussy. Once again the culture is giving license to males to act like beasts, and punishing the girls for acting like people.

I guess older guys, fat guys, and guys who eat soy exclusively as a source of protein in a vegan diet (that raises estrogen levels in men) have it a bit different, but a young healthy guy is going to be horny.

yeah, those Chinese/Japanese buddhists never fuck. It’s why the population in China and Japan have always been so small.

pecunium, what would you do 20 years ago when you met an attractive women for the first time?

Are you kidding? This is your devastating retort? Your logical destruction of my comment? I wonder how proud Mensa is of knowing you are so smart you can pass the test drunk.

I talked to her. Discussed the things in which I was interested. I talked about think she was interested in. I tried to find a sense of common interest. T Sometimes we went out and tried to see if there was a common spark.

What I didn’t do was put pussy on the pedestal of primary need you are saying is the “the way it is”. Hell, twenty years ago I was working at a Hollywood studio, I saw LOTS of really attractive women, women who weren’t interested in me (I was, by and large, part of, “the help”, unless you worked in post, or distribution).

But even five-ten years before that (late adolescence/college), I didn’t do this, “slavering after sex” shit you are on about. Maybe I was in a culture where sex was more freely available (I doubt it, this was the ’80s to ’90s, and herpes, then AIDS were changing the landscape of casual sex), but I never really worried about getting laid. Not to the point that I was a monomaniac about it. Hell, if I told you I had a woman I was interested in, and we showered together; because we needed someone to scrub but I didn’t make a move on her, because that would have been rude, well I doubt you’d believe me.

If I told you there was another woman I was interested in; who was interested in me (and we were both too young and obtuse to make it plain to the other) and we showered together (for those same reasons) and I didn’t put the moves on her, you’d really not believe it.

If I told you I was still in my teens for those occasions, well your head might explode.

I don’t think I think about sex any less now than I used to, either. I did, however, come to realise that if I wanted it, I could find it; which did change the focus, some, but in the opposite direction. I came to the understanding that if I were interested in a woman, being a bit more direct was in both our best interests. So, if anything, I am more like you describe teenagers now, than I was as a teen. I fear rejection less (which would have helped with the second woman I mentioned above).

Do you never go out and meet people? I mean people from different social groups than the narrow one you seem to live in?

What makes you assume she has a narrow set of acquaintance? That she has a group which share some philosophical ideas doesn’t make it a narrow monolith.Kook at observant Jews. I know a lot of really liberal Orthodox Jews. I know some observant Conservative Jews who are Poly, I know some pretty conservative Jews too… so if all my friends were Jews, would that make it a “narrow” social group?

No.

(but when its something you don’t want to hear, its pretend, huh?)

Dude, chill. It wouldn’t hurt you to get some evidence, instead of pulling just so stories out of your confirmation biased ass, esp. if you don’t want people to keep handing it to you.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Scroll up to see where I address guys with low desire, and gay guys.

Could you point that out to me, because I missed it. I did see you implying a cause you didn’t support, but supporting the claim, with evidence… not so much.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Some strange and bizarre statements being made here. For one, my assertion is hardly misogynistic. If anything, its a bit demeaning to men.

That’s what I said, doofus. Learn to read.

Don’t call others obtuse fucknut, you just embarrass yourself. Which come to think of it, that and being called out on your stupidity must be your kink, because you keep doing it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Mr All, if you’re playing Frothy as your latest gig, could you change the script? He needs some character development. The pompous teenager schtick was never interesting to begin with, and it’s going nowhere. I mean, you used up all the material in that with the Mr Al persona anyway, it’s just a dead-end now. C’mon man, develop those writing skills!

Meg
Meg
6 years ago

MRA’s realise that having a child costs the woman money too, right? Sure, the father has to pay child support but its not going to be enough for them both to live on, and not in the life of luxury they seem to be imagining.
Also, what the hell is sperm theft?

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Oh, Meg, have you never seen an American daytime soap? Obviously, sperm theft or spermjacking is stealing a used condom & using the sperm it contains (& possibly a turkey baster) to impregnate oneself. Then, once the baby is born, one can extort $$$s in child support from the unwitting father and spend the rest of one’s life in luxury eating bonbons while the unwitting father lives in poverty. Happens all the time (in MRA fantasy land).

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Damn, ninja’d by the Dark Lord.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Hey, think of the honour, titianblue! It’s not everyone who gets ninjaed by the Dark Lord himself.

http://youtu.be/Yoflr1Py25U

emilygoddess
6 years ago

so, I guess, if the woman tries to sperm burgle him she’ll end up screaming in pain so he’ll know? I’m not sure exactly what the hot sauce is supposed to do, actually.

You’re a bit more optimistic than I am. I assumed the point of the hot sauce was just to punish her.

Or maybe it’s supposed to kill the sperm? IDK.

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