There’s one kind of person you meet again and again in the manosphere: the man who hates women, but insists that he’s not a misogynist. Some of them will even tell you that you calling them a misogynist is equivalent to a white person calling a black person the n-word. And they seem to even believe this.
You may find yourself wondering: how is it that a person who clearly hates women, who says hateful things about them constantly, who spends all his time reading blogs and message boards devoted to the notion that women are evil bitches — how is it that such a person can come to believe that they aren’t a woman-hater?
Well, you’re in luck, because not that long ago one of these fellows gave us a glimpse into the mysterious inner workings of the mind of the misogynist who thinks he’s not a misogynist.
In a post on the Men’s Rights subreddit he titled “Next time someone calls you a misogynist,” cabin5 unpacked all his weird rationalizations and laid them out for everyone to see.
This is long, but worth reading. It’s very revealing. And also sort of hilarious, both in its total lack of awareness and in its garden-variety ignorance and stupidity.
Uh, dude, one part of the definition of “hatred” is “extreme aversion.” Which is also one definition of, you guessed it, repulsion. If you’re repulsedby women — or at least by “the modern, confrontational, American toxic female” — it’s safe to say that yes, indeed, you hate women, or at least the vast majority of the women that you meet on an everyday basis here in the US. Also, if you post in the Men’s Rights subreddit, and regularly use phrases like “the modern, confrontational, American toxic female,” it’s pretty much like having the words “I hate women” tattooed on your forehead.
Elsewhere in the thread he offers further insights into these terrible American “females.”
Western women tend to be butch & mannish- you would have to be practically homosexual to be attracted to one. I’m not homosexual. And they’re like crappy zerox copies of men without any of the positive qualities. …
Possibly the most repulsive things would be their complete unaccountability & the fact that on average, they’re venerally diseased whores who’ve had 57 cocks in them by the age of 25. Would you want your child coming out of that vagina? It’s nauseating.
Dude, I don’t want your child coming out of any vagina. Also, it’s “xerox.”
These are all the thoughts of a grown ass man — who claims to have a daughter over the age of 18 — who honestly thinks he’s somehow not a misogynist.
Carleyblue – like you said, it is effectively hatred whether he admits it or not, but I don’t think there’s any doubt that he hates women. Wanting women silenced (what else can one read into the “Latina who doesn’t speak English” statement?), wanting women obedient and submissive and tied to one man for as long as he wants, insisting that there is only one acceptable way for women to behave or look – this is “othering” women, denying their humanity. He’s talking as if women are objects, things who have no rights or lives at all but exist to serve and please men. And as David pointed out, he talks about repulsion and extreme aversion, and that is hatred.
The Kitteh’s Unpaid Help- Yeah, right after I posted the comment I re-read the part about him not wanting the Latina women to speak English, and thought yeah, he’s coming from a place of emotion and rage, not just indifferent entitlement.Thinking of other human beings in that way is so wrong one way or another, though. because they are human beings, not objects, as you say.
I just looked through my writing and I’m suddenly and irrationally worried that I’m starting to sound like Steele in terms of writing style. God help me…
LOL don’t worry, you don’t sound like Steele! You’d need to throw in lots of “certainly; and without a doubt” type redundancies, a plethora* of semicolons, heaps of “viles” (or “vyles”) and froth about misandry.
*That’s two $10 words in two days, I’m doing well.
Another of Cabin5’s biggest issues is white women aren’t pumping out enough white babies. “For the first time in human history we have a population of millions of women not having children. That is simply not how humans behave – it’s perverse. Women just doing ‘whatever they want’ means we’re already on our way to extinction, well whites in the U.S. are far below replacement birth levels and have been for 20 years- Europe & the U.K. as well.”
So someone should tell him, he’s not just a woman hater but a racist arsehat too.
oh and look at this lovely quote:
“Traditional roles for men are horrendous when the other half of the population is simply parasitical and we are the host. ” Women are all parasites but you don’t hate women. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Pfft, right, we’re the parasites, no suggestion there that “traditional roles” (my, how little he knows about human history) might have sucked majorly for women even more than for men.
Like you said, racist asshat – seven billion and counting but “we” are facing extinction?
Ugh, that stuff about Eastern European women irritates the hell out of me. I’m an Eastern European woman and I’m quite definitely a feminist.
misogynists and their desperate attempts at shirking responsibility for their behavior make me sick. but it also makes me laugh. their transparency is nothing short of hilarious. how stupid do they think we all are? just lol.
Uh, dude, one part of the definition of “hatred” is “extreme aversion.” Which is also one definition of, you guessed it, repulsion. If you’re repulsedby women — or at least by “the modern, confrontational, American toxic female” — it’s safe to say that yes, indeed, you hate women, or at least the vast majority of the women that you meet on an everyday basis here in the US.
Wow, extrapolating this chain-link, faux argument, I can only conclude that not only do you love women, you sanctify them. That is as harmful an effect as demonizing them. Oh, you are an extremist.
There, I practiced female logic on manbooz hahaha!
““Traditional roles for men are horrendous when the other half of the population is simply parasitical and we are the host. ”
I don’t get it. He seems to resent the traditional role of sole breadwinner. Then why doesn’t he like feminism? Or, why doesn’t he like non-traditional women? If you insist on us not having jobs, not being independant and never speaking out, then it seems you should be more open to the idea that you’ll be spending all the money in the relationship. I mean, that’s what they want, isn’t it? Control? All women will have to go back to relationships and marriage just not to starve. And by god, they’ll be less picky. But then they whine about all the burden this places on them in the same breath.
Their “logic” just sort of collapses in on itself. It’s exhausting as shit.
Ahem, happy holidays everyone…:)
@Shiraz
I think what he and other guys like him have in mind is an arrangement in which the men are the breadwinners, yes, but in return the women are trained/ brought up to devote their lives to serving their husbands in every way imaginable. This is the only arrangement which is ‘fair’ to them. If you read Christian manosphere blogs they go into this a lot. It is not enough for the women/wives to simply be obedient (and not work), they have to work on devoting themselves to their husbands constantly, otherwise they are just parasites (which most modern housewives are, they argue). It is very much based on their understanding of Christianity and doesn’t have all that much to do with tradition, in my opinion. They think most traditional arrangements were unfair to men. It’s mind-boggling. I mean, I don’t even know if this guy’s a Christian, but that’s where a lot of them are coming from.
I don’t know, I can’t make sense of the logic either. Trying to think about it too much (as i have, ugh) just makes my head hurt.
Oh, and I would like to wish everyone here a very happy holiday season too! You people are great!
Crap. here’s yet another fat baby bulldog, for anyone needing a bit of brain bleach. You have to watch it audio though, because the vocalizations are fun.
how many noises can one bebe make?!
*with* audio. Got an early start on the eggnog.
Interesting that his behaviour and attitude fits even the old definition of misogyny let alone the newer somewhat more useful and descriptive version, Julia Gillard’s for example.
I take it the manosphere is probably not all that enamoured of Julia or her attempts to redefine a definition that they already managed to fit before it is watered down! This confuses me as I was of the opinion that there are so few people that actually fit the ‘hate all women’ definition that it is useless and thought the re-definition as an entrenched dislike and prejudice towards women was a good thing. But then that begs the question of what makes a good description of this bloke’s bigotry as the new definition of misogyny doesn’t quite do him justice…
Uh, themisanthropicmuse, don’t be alarmed but… *stage whisper* you seem to have turned into a human!
Shorter Socially Extinct: You want to see misogyny? OK, here’s some misogyny!
I am seriously trying to figure out where this Eastern European woman stereotype came from. Up until recently, we were the big, fat, butch manboobz that got shit done, lived six families a flat and waited whole day in line for a loaf of bread and some chicken.
I blame Hostel. And the MRAs’ attention span that caused this weird selective memory of it.
Ice, these jagoffs must not have lived through the Cold War. They don’t remember when the USSR was the big Evil, and all the women were ugly. Ah, propaganda.
This guy in the OP is in no danger of being Cock #1-58 for any woman, American or otherwise.
That puppy is so cute, all the problems in my life have vaporized just from viewing this video. Thank you for posting this.
I blame the tendency of materially privileged men in certain cultures to view women without the same resources as exploitable because of that disparity.
Misogyny? What misogyny?
Then again, if the OP is old enough to have an 18 year old daughter (my sympathies to her on her prize pig father), he’s just an asshole.
@Ice: Don’t forget also, our grandmothers and great-grandmothers entered the work force in record numbers decades before American women and housewifery was virtually unknown for several generations before about the 1990’s.
Oh, the cuteness! Who knew that bulldog puppies could trill?
Good news on the kitteh front: our vet just rang and Fribbie’s blood results are all normal. 🙂
I wonder if it has something to do with the upswing in prostitution and sex trafficking in that part of the world. :-/
Reading stuff like this used to confuse me so much; taken at face value, these rants are completely illogical. None of it makes sense until you account for just how misogynistic these people actually are.
For example, in this case the fact that they are being misogynists by definition isn’t what matters to them; women are regarded as being less than human (human=men in this context), so it isn’t that they don’t think they are treating women in a degrading and dehumanizing way, it’s that they don’t believe the rights and well-being of women deserve consideration.
The whole Western women vs Foreign women is hilarious (as well as being messed up). They don’t regard women as being 3 dimensional beings, so any woman living independently and confidently makes them deeply uncomfortable and threatened. They are looking for silent, 2 dimensional, functional but decorative women to effectively own, and since they have become disillusioned about the women they see everyday they seek comfort in exoticism and colonialism (where male privilege fails perhaps white privilege will prevail?).
So young, vulnerable, uneducated, non-English speaking women they know nothing about seem perfect, and the mail order bride business is flourishing. Christ, it’s such a toxic practice; so many people have their lives ruined.