Sorry for not having a regular post up today. I’d like to make it up to you with this irregular one, highlighting some of the dumbest modes of transport the world has ever seen.
Let’s start with this skateboard sail, available through Skymall. Is this the dumbest form of transportation ever?
Boy, he achieved some blazing speed there.
But at least he’s doing a little better than this guy and what he calls his “Homemade Plastic Sheeting Excitement Device.”
Hey, at least he’s enjoying himself. On his YouTube page, he explains:
I just wanted to get across how easy it was to build something that, on windy days, provides hours of real and actual and genuine and authentic satisfaction. I’m talking about the kind of satisfaction that comes back to haunt you like an embarrassing memory. One that returns repeatedly and redefines everything else in life according to its own immutable consequences. One that makes all other activities seem like useless and repetitive motions trailing into the absurd march of meaninglessness. In other words, satisfaction that makes everyday life unbearable and depressing.
This guy, astoundingly, is more successful with his flying device:
You’ll notice I didn’t specify that he was successful at flying. He was certainly successful at getting to the bottom of that hill. And he didn’t even fall over!
That, alas, cannot be said of our next competitor, who seems not to understand (among other things) that when his motorcycle wheels leave the ground they cease to provide him with any forward thrust.
This guy achieves similar, if slightly less dramatic, results without the need for an expensive motorcycle.
As he notes on YouTube: “No real flight on this video.” He’s a shoo-in as a finalist in the International Running Around in a Field With a Wing Competition 2013.
Meanwhile, this fellow’s seventh attempt at flying is a modest success. (I don’t even want to imagine what happened the first six times.)
Given his rather sudden and dramatic landing, it’s probably just as well that he didn’t get any higher up than he did.
There are so, so many more of these sorts of videos online. If you start exploring the “related videos” on YouTube you could be up all night. Which is still better than being up in one of these things.
And then someone came up with the idea of getting Kristen Stewart to read 50 Shades aloud and the circle was complete.
I’m pretty sure you can post multiple youtube videos in a row if you include a blank line between them (hit enter twice in other words)
OH MY! XD
I enjoy sweet ol’ George Takei but there is no way I am playing that video. Ever.
I was pulled over at the last rest area for three hours along I-90 in South Dakota about five years ago and I saw someone on a skateboard wearing one of those big parasail jobs like people use on the beach. He was getting some pretty good speed without using a vehicle or anything.
*I had pulled off at the last rest area.
Didn’t mean to imply that I’d gotten a ticket.
Honestly, at least some of those worthless devices looked like they’d be fun–not in a ‘useful for getting someplace’ way, but in a ‘pointless, flying a kite’ way. For those guys, more power to ’em.
As for 50 Flavors of Shite, well, yeah. I won’t even take its success as some sort of evidence of the fall of society, because it’s so obvious that a lot of people bought it solely to see why it’s so badly hated, or to join in the mockery.
Steele?
I encountered some women in McDonalds and they were talking about how dreamy Christian Grey was, and how they’d like a ‘charming’ boyfriend who bought them presents and showered them with attention (read: stalking). Then they said they didn’t like the look of that BDSM stuff but they’d tolerate it for Hellspawn.
It took all my effort not to explode over my McNuggets about how that wasn’t proper BDSM, that was abuse, and I tweeted angrily about it.
Then a 50SoG fan followed me on Twitter.
I…
I read We Need to Talk About Kevin last night and I could not put it down. So unsettling of a book.
And a zillion times better than that 50 Shades dreck.
We Need to Talk About Kevin is a fantastic book.
Have you seen the movie? (Sorry about two one-liners, but I’m posting from a tablet and I’m always so happy when I manage to type things that sometimes I forget I’m not done.)
No, I did not know they had made a movie until last night. I checked Netflix and it is not on there. Maybe someday when it is not so raw in my head I will watch it.
I loved We Need to Talk About Kevin. I don’t think I could have read it when my son was small, though. He was 15 when I read it a few years ago and so I didn’t have to worry about him becoming a boy like Kevin. I could see a lot of myself in Kevin’s mom, which would have made it a terrifying read at one time.
The movie is also great and worth seeing although they did have to cut a lot obviously. IMO the choices of what to cut and what to keep were fantastic and the kids are awesome actors. I understand waiting though. The movie (which I saw first) didn’t shake me up nearly as much as the book, but is still a bit of an emotional punch. I hope you enjoy it when you are ready. š
My favorite 50SoG parody is still Gilbert Gottfried.
I noticed the dude on the skateboard, in the first one; is headed downhill.
Good heavens, read Proust instead. It is much more genuinely erotic.
The weather report is more genuinely erotic than 50 Shades of Dreck.
Speaking of which, weather.com is warning me about something called Winter Storm Draco, which sounds like the US is about to be hit by a scene from Harry Potter.
It certainly does! Hope it’s not as bad as it sounds.
Oh, I saw “Kittehslave” in the other thread and lol’d. Just as long as nobody thinks I’m related to Owly. š
What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge on the topic of unexpected emotions.
Well, that was certainly a surreal necrobot.
My thoughts exactly.
…free home insulation? Preserveness? I feel like we’re in ‘mummification in a jar’ territory here.
That must have been some exceptionally good acid.
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