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On Popes, PUAs, The Pill and the Alpha A-hole Cock Carousel

I'm pretty sure this is nt how birth control actually works.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how birth control actually works.

You might think that Pickup Artists, dudes obsessed with sexing up the young fertile lasses, would be huge fans of contraceptives – which, after all, are what makes their particular lifestyle possible. But some prominent PUAs are about as enthusiastic about contraception as a Pope.

In the case of the charming fellow who calls himself Heartiste, I mean this literally. In a recent posting, he quotes approvingly from Pope Paul VI’s 1968 Humanae Vitae dissing contraceptives for allegedly demeaning the women that use them. Paul suggested that contraception may cause men to

lose respect for the woman and, no longer caring for her physical and psychological equilibrium, may come to the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer as his respected and beloved companion.

I’m no Pope, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

Heartiste, for his part, embraces and extends this line of reasoning, adding in some of that Alpha-Beta-Schmeta nonsense that manosphereians seem to regard as cutting edge science.

[A]s cheap contraceptives silently and subtly move men toward devaluing women, so too does the technology move women toward devaluing beta males, those bitter losers in the sexual market (note: I did not say marriage market or child market) for whom contraceptives, coupled with female economic self-sufficiency, have rendered them practically superfluous as primetime sexual partners.

The mass-produced condom and the Pill have freed men from feeling obligation for women as much as they have freed women to regularly and blithely pursue what was historically risky sex with caddish alpha males on the make.

The contraceptive is, in practice, a female hypergamy facilitator.

Yep, that’s right: contraceptives are the tickets to the mythical Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel.

But poor Heartiste has impaled himself on the horns of a dilemma. He’s got a good anti-woman rant going, but there’s just one problem with it: he’s devoted his life to becoming one of those Alpha Assholes that contraceptive-using women purportedly cannot resist riding.

It’s funny for me to write this, because contraceptives have, in fact, been very very good to me. I did a back of the envelope calculation and figured that my aggregate sex life would have been truncated by 90% if contraceptives were prohibitively expensive, unreliable and hard to get. A world in which women had to grapple with real, palpable fears of STDs, pregnancy and subsequent abandonment is, not to put too fine a point on it, a really shitty world for womanizers and serial monogamists and uncomplicated lovers of the art of seduction itself. I imagine I’d have to *gasp* start promising marriage or some such claptrap to any woman I wanted to bang, just to loosen her up enough to unhook her bra.

Spoken like a true asshole.

Oh, but don’t worry, Heartiste isn’t going to stop attacking sex-having women as one of the harbingers of “the cultural and technological juggernaut that hastens, if it is not the sole cause of, the death of Western civilization.”

Indeed, Heartiste almost seems to relish the ironies of his position, as it allows him to spew forth some of the silliest purple prose you’re ever going to find outside the pages of bad romance novels (or comments from our friend Steele):

Here I am, standing at the edge of the abyss, pointing into its bowels like a histrionic jester, leading the ignorant and the deluded to peer into the void and imploring them — no, more precisely taunting them — to heed my warning of their desolate future… and still I cavort insouciantly along its lip, secretly relieved that no one will seriously weigh my prophecies.

Well, at least he’s right about that “histrionic jester” bit.

Last I checked, Heartiste’s post had spawned 450 comments. I can’t bring myself to look through them to see what further horrors can be found there.

EDITED TO ADD: You should all be aware that our lovely Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel illustration is available in t-shirt form! As is the Mammoth! And a delightful Cupcake as well! And you’re in luck! Zazzle is having another one-day 40% off sale on T-shirts! Click here to go to the Man Boobz Zazzle store. Use the code 12DAILYDEAL8. Oh, and in a lovely irony, the profits go to Planned Parenthood!

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Steele
Steele
11 years ago

Indeed, cloudiah, a tragedy committed by a profoundly disturbed misogynist; your point?

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Steele, you are sickening. SICKENING.

Violence against women is happening constantly. We are inundated with it.

And on the anniversary of a particularly heinous tragedy…

…you’re worried that MAYBE SOMEDAY ONE STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE MIGHT GET HURT.

You are a fucking asshole.

MAYBE SOMEDAY.

UGH! You are a hate movement all by yourself!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It’s interesting that even in the case of an actual massacre Steele can’t bring himself to call it a crime.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

The anti-straight white male meme, bolstered by the toad John Scalzi,

…how dare he point out straight white men have entrenched privileges! How dare he!

Picked up my first Scalzi book this week. If he writes a fraction as well as he enrages you, it should be good.

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

The point, my Varpid friend, is that there HAVE been gender-based massacres and murders. Against women. The thing that you’re afraid of is what, historically, women have been through.

Which makes sense; the platform from which the privileged quake is the abiding fear that one day, what they have done unto others shall be done to them.

But it’s not going to happen. Men and women have killed each other, but your creepy BDSM fantasy universe is not going to happen. The feminists don’t want it.

They want equal rights. As they always have.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

Bannister, calm down. In point of fact, I wasn’t actually aware that it was the anniversary of the Montreal massacre. In addition it isn’t even relevant to the discussion.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

You calm down.

You drop a hideous dollop of privilege-denial and whine pathetically that someday soon a straight white male might be hurt.

And you don’t know nor care how many non-straight, non-white, non-male people out there might be hurt.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

In Point of Fact, not knowing IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM, you dipshit.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

The feminists don’t want it.

Most probably don’t; in point of fact, but all it takes is one; and I won’t back down from my previous assertion. Due to people like Scalzi and the feminists; I believe it to be only a matter of time before a string of violent hate crimes are committed against straight white males. And when it happens – remember – I called it.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Indeed, cloudiah, a tragedy committed by a profoundly disturbed misogynist; your point?

The point, you exquisite dipshit, is that this misogynist is held up by your “Movement” as one of its heroes.

And it is relevant to the discussion, if you aren’t a complete know-nothing toolshed such as yourself.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

In Point of Fact, not knowing IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM, you dipshit.

Excuse me? Why on Earth would I remember the day of. A tragedy, no doubt – but there are many tragedies; I don’t remember the date of Virginia Tech; or Columbine. What are you implying? Rank, vyle feminist.

cloudiah
11 years ago

It’s your side that’s the hate movement, Steele.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

We’re not implying anything. We’re straight up saying you’re a boil on the ass of humanity.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Reality breaks your brain, doesn’t it?

Reality, where women are fucking killed by men to keep them in the kitchen. ALL THE GODDAMNED TIME.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Rank, vyle feminist.

Is that the Chaucerian spelling, you hate-mongerer?

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

The point, you exquisite dipshit, is that this misogynist is held up by your “Movement” as one of its heroes.

EXCUSE ME? I invite you to point me toward one single MRA who has ever commended Lepine. You are lying, and you are being untruthful to slander a human rights movement. You rank liar. Disgusting.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

…I’m a rank, VYLE feminist. Cool.

You don’t know. It’s been in all the papers, today. There’s been gentle little reminders. You don’t know because you have blinders on.

I’m implying that you ignore all the suffering that women go through, because it doesn’t fit in your convenient delusions.

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

Ok, let’s follow your logic train, buddy.

“All it takes is one.”

So, by your reasoning that you just stated, should there be a SINGLE psychotic member of a movement who commits murders in the name of their prejudice

the entire movement has blood on its hands.

Is that right?

Is that what you’re saying?

Do you see where I’m going here, Steele?

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
11 years ago

Bannister, calm down. In point of fact, I wasn’t actually aware that it was the anniversary of the Montreal massacre. In addition it isn’t even relevant to the discussion.

It’s directly relevant to your talking point. You expressed concern that white men may be the victims of race/gender based murder as a result of feminism. Posters pointed out that women have been the victims of gender based murder as a result of misogyny.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

It’s your side that’s the hate movement, Steele.

I invite you to continue believing this; and when hate crimes are carried out against the dehumanized straight white men – remember, this is the first step in encouraging hate crimes, dehumanization – maybe you’ll change your tune.

MRAs are a peaceful movement; indeed, our spiritual guide is Martin Luther King Jr.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

Do you see where I’m going here, Steele?

Lepine had severe mental problems; he was in no way connected to the Movement. The Movement did not even exist upon such time of Lepine’s vyle acts.

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

It’s directly relevant to your talking point. You expressed concern that white men may be the victims of race/gender based murder as a result of feminism. Posters pointed out that women have been the victims of gender based murder as a result of misogyny.

Certainly and without a doubt; nonetheless, it’s irrelevant and a derailing tactic. Indeed – are you saying this excuses the coming wave of violence against straight white men?

cloudiah
11 years ago

Steele, tell me what exactly is the difference between the political views held by Marc Lepine and those held by Paul Elam or JohntheOther? Not their actions, but their views? If they were sitting around, pre-massacre, just shooting the shit — would they disagree on anything?

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

“Certainly and without a doubt.”

Oh, good. I thought if it was certain there might still be doubt.

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