Categories
alpha asshole cock carousel alpha males armageddon beta males contraception evo psych fairy tales grandiosity heartiste hypergamy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny precious bodily fluids PUA

On Popes, PUAs, The Pill and the Alpha A-hole Cock Carousel

I'm pretty sure this is nt how birth control actually works.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how birth control actually works.

You might think that Pickup Artists, dudes obsessed with sexing up the young fertile lasses, would be huge fans of contraceptives – which, after all, are what makes their particular lifestyle possible. But some prominent PUAs are about as enthusiastic about contraception as a Pope.

In the case of the charming fellow who calls himself Heartiste, I mean this literally. In a recent posting, he quotes approvingly from Pope Paul VI’s 1968 Humanae Vitae dissing contraceptives for allegedly demeaning the women that use them. Paul suggested that contraception may cause men to

lose respect for the woman and, no longer caring for her physical and psychological equilibrium, may come to the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer as his respected and beloved companion.

I’m no Pope, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

Heartiste, for his part, embraces and extends this line of reasoning, adding in some of that Alpha-Beta-Schmeta nonsense that manosphereians seem to regard as cutting edge science.

[A]s cheap contraceptives silently and subtly move men toward devaluing women, so too does the technology move women toward devaluing beta males, those bitter losers in the sexual market (note: I did not say marriage market or child market) for whom contraceptives, coupled with female economic self-sufficiency, have rendered them practically superfluous as primetime sexual partners.

The mass-produced condom and the Pill have freed men from feeling obligation for women as much as they have freed women to regularly and blithely pursue what was historically risky sex with caddish alpha males on the make.

The contraceptive is, in practice, a female hypergamy facilitator.

Yep, that’s right: contraceptives are the tickets to the mythical Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel.

But poor Heartiste has impaled himself on the horns of a dilemma. He’s got a good anti-woman rant going, but there’s just one problem with it: he’s devoted his life to becoming one of those Alpha Assholes that contraceptive-using women purportedly cannot resist riding.

It’s funny for me to write this, because contraceptives have, in fact, been very very good to me. I did a back of the envelope calculation and figured that my aggregate sex life would have been truncated by 90% if contraceptives were prohibitively expensive, unreliable and hard to get. A world in which women had to grapple with real, palpable fears of STDs, pregnancy and subsequent abandonment is, not to put too fine a point on it, a really shitty world for womanizers and serial monogamists and uncomplicated lovers of the art of seduction itself. I imagine I’d have to *gasp* start promising marriage or some such claptrap to any woman I wanted to bang, just to loosen her up enough to unhook her bra.

Spoken like a true asshole.

Oh, but don’t worry, Heartiste isn’t going to stop attacking sex-having women as one of the harbingers of “the cultural and technological juggernaut that hastens, if it is not the sole cause of, the death of Western civilization.”

Indeed, Heartiste almost seems to relish the ironies of his position, as it allows him to spew forth some of the silliest purple prose you’re ever going to find outside the pages of bad romance novels (or comments from our friend Steele):

Here I am, standing at the edge of the abyss, pointing into its bowels like a histrionic jester, leading the ignorant and the deluded to peer into the void and imploring them — no, more precisely taunting them — to heed my warning of their desolate future… and still I cavort insouciantly along its lip, secretly relieved that no one will seriously weigh my prophecies.

Well, at least he’s right about that “histrionic jester” bit.

Last I checked, Heartiste’s post had spawned 450 comments. I can’t bring myself to look through them to see what further horrors can be found there.

EDITED TO ADD: You should all be aware that our lovely Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel illustration is available in t-shirt form! As is the Mammoth! And a delightful Cupcake as well! And you’re in luck! Zazzle is having another one-day 40% off sale on T-shirts! Click here to go to the Man Boobz Zazzle store. Use the code 12DAILYDEAL8. Oh, and in a lovely irony, the profits go to Planned Parenthood!

376 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

It annoys me that Rand and her followers use “objectivism” to refer to her philosophy, because it’s a well-established term in metaethics. It simply means the thesis that moral statements have truth value rather than merely expressing attitudes (and can thus be combined with a wide variety of normative ethics; one can be an objectivist utilitarian, objectivist Kantian, objectivist follower of some religious ethics etc).

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

yes, but only because of ¡MISANDRY!

Falconer
11 years ago

The Freed Oppressed forming a Strike Force to hunt down and eliminate any surviving straight white men. The Strike Force, in addition and with impunity, kills any newborn straight white males.

The Freed Oppressed hold a straight white male idol-burning, in and upon every evening.

Let me out of this Butthorn Appreciation Chair! I wouldn’t inflict this shit on a Vogon.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I think we need to start rationing his commas.

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

If David put the word “and” in the moderation filter, would Steele explode? Or at least go away?

pecunium
11 years ago

I think it’s time for a bit of Linkage (I knew this would come in handy).

On the existential horror of Betaness

MANOSPHERE, WEEK SEVEN, DAY TWO

We lost Chauncey today. Doc wanted to sedate him—he said the bond he’d formed with the womyn was too strong, and he feared for the poor man’s sanity. But the Chief said we needed the intel, and it was useful for a while. With Chauncey’s help we were able to avoid the patrols, keep to the shadows. We re-enforced our position by littering the floor with pages of Sports Illustrated—that seems to keep them away, especially the swimsuit issue. It was a shame to part with the swimsuit issue, but there’s no time for pleasantries. This is war.

I knew Chauncey was gone when he reported hearing drum circles. Billy laughed—he didn’t understand. He said “all drums are circles, Chauncey” and looked confused when Doc told him to shut the hell up and show some respect. The Chief ordered us to put him out of his misery. I’m glad we did it when we did. He was just about to say “patriarchy.”

God have mercy on us all. He was going to say patriarchy.

On the other hand, Chauncey? What the hell kind of name is that, anyway? It’s not his fault, of course. He had to play the hand he was dealt. But you don’t have a chance in hell with a name like that.

There aren’t many of us left. Twenty two, though I’m not sure about Billy. The thing is he’s young—he’s more susceptible than most. The other day he asked why it was so important to stand up when a lady walked into the room—the Chief knocked him on his ass for that one. I hope he learns from it.

We’re running out of supplies. We’re down to three packs of cards, a box of cigars and two bottles of Scotch. We’re probably going to finish the Scotch first. I don’t know why we keep losing cards.

We’re going to have to send someone out for supplies, but things are grim. Womyn are everywhere, and you can’t tell until they start talking. And if they detect you… well. Everywhere we go we see the skins of True Men pinned on the walls, left as bloody reminders to all the enslaved PoodleMen the consequences of having a set.

Dan was the last guy we sent out. He didn’t return. We told him we has going to have to undercover—he’d at least have to take off the hat and maybe shave. He refused, that poor, magnificent, proud, stiff-necked fool. He said he’d die first.

A few days later we found his hat, and the remains of that glorious, rich handlebar mustache. The Chief thinks they ate the rest.

He’s calling another meeting now. I’ll write more when I can. If this be the final words of the last bastion of Men in this hellish, estrogen-ridden world, then know that we went out fighting to the last.

There is more. It’s a sad tale of men being valiant to the end.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

(Based on the ‘Roissy sounds like a prophet of doom’ thing earlier)

“… and that when I realised that this planet was doomed, and its fall must be hastened! But I knew not the way. I consulted with many great minds, but they turned me away, called me a stupid child! They could not see the truth!”
“… Oh… kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…”
“They. Could. Not. See. The. Truth.”
“Right.”
“I searched for many years to find the way to cleanse this place of its filth, to hasten righteous destruction and pave the way for a new and shining world, and one day, I found it!”
“Hallelujah.”
“Hallelujah indeed! It would be a hardship. But it was necessary. I must create… the Slutpocalypse.”
“…”
“To achieve this, I must tear society down by sleeping with as many hot bitches as possible. I must resign myself to my duty as a horse on the Alpha Arsehole Cock Carousel. This is a personal sacrifice, but one I must take. And I must also spread the word.”
“All righty, then.”
“Anyway, now that I’ve explained it to you, your glasses are nice, they make you look nerdy. Want to go somewhere private and bring forth the salvation of mankind?”
“… I think it’s worrying that wasn’t the weirdest chat-up I’ve ever had.”

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

That was amazing.

I’m just happy ’cause I get to see my PoodleMan tonight for dinner. ^^

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

@Steele, if you’re going to fuck up the plural of moose, at least go with “meese.” “Mooses” is just depressing.

It wasn’t him, it was the one-armed, misandrist teacher!!

pecunium
11 years ago

Hey… Steele might have a professional writing career after all. I mean if a woman can get paid for this dreck and it’s belabored, repeated, unsupported, assertions that The Wire is NOTHING LIKE A VICTORIAN NOVEL, because it’s not a book, then I’m sure (personally, and my own opinion that this is the case, and not actually false) Steele could pull it off.

It’s right up his, rhetorical, alley.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

allegorical to mooses

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MOOSES. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

Mooses, he’s the steer who led the chosen cows to the promised land, right?

blitzgal
11 years ago

Update on Hunter Moore. Anonymous has apparently leaked all kinds of his personal information, including his credit card number. I’m so torn between feelings of schadenfreude and stern disapproval of their tactics. Seriously.

http://gawker.com/5966312/all-of-personal+information-publisher-hunter-moores-personal-information-is-now-on-the-internet-thanks-to-anonymous

cloudiah
11 years ago

You guyz, I found a manosphere writer who is even worse than Steele, JtO, and PaulE combined and whirled in a blender. Wanna see? Hint: I have featured his writings in the comment section here before, on an earlier post.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

*tugs David’s sleeve*

When do we get to play Troll of The Year again David?

drst
drst
11 years ago

I’ve read Rand. I want to posthumously sue her for time theft.

cloudiah
11 years ago

So I finally finished reading one of the worst blog posts ever. The blog is The Ergot in the Rye, and we originally made fun of him starting here.

He’s the guy we have to thank for the following phrases:

As to why I did not have a road-to-Damascus experience when the feminist broadsword was aimed at my own juggler is a moot point.

the central focus, the ballerina, was now a stamen of privilege – auto erotic, self absorbed and uniquely divorced from the kerfuffle in the background.

and

The anarchist within me began to vibrate like a tuning fork.

Now he has a new post on Social Justice.

New phrases:

Martin Luther Ling Jr. once said that ‘the moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.’

Um, no. That’s not the quote. He wasn’t down at the bar with his buddies, bending an elbow.

Moreover, if one were to add political/ideological allegiance/cognitive bias to the mix, any resulting brew would be, at best, one of frothing inconstancy and bubbling subjectivity. Justice, tailored to suit, is truly a Frankenstein monster.

Block that mixed metaphor!

As members of the male rights movement, we would be prudent to explore the ways that the social (in) justice phantasm flounces within the women’s movement.

Sigh. Just… no, that’s it, I am taking away your keyboard.

What is it with MRAs and the florid prose? BTW, he posts on AVfM as limeywestlake and he has another blog as well. Unless there is another MRA out there enamored of the phrase “peering through the meniscus” which seems unlikely.

McKenzie
McKenzie
11 years ago

A giant straight white male face is projected into the sky; much like the Bat-signal, but never turned off. It is to remind people of their straight white male oppressors.

I am officially Steele’s biggest fan… just for this

MUCH LIKE THE BAT SIGNAL

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

Those metaphors are amazing.

inurashii
inurashii
11 years ago

I dunno, McKenzie, you may have to fight moonz for the top spot in the Steele fanclub.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

“Peering through the meniscus, the orthopedic soothsayer chortled grimly. ‘This knee portends dark times. Dark times indeed.’ He looked up and cracked a wicked, toothy grin ‘Now,’ he started ominously, ‘are you ready to see what the cruciate ligaments have to say of your future?'”

Steele
Steele
11 years ago

The fact and truth of the matter is, I just despair. The anti-straight white male meme, bolstered by the toad John Scalzi, has been continuing unabated. I and other MRAs have been attempting to contain the spread of straight white male bigotry, but it’s clear it’s hit critical mass – and is going mainstream.

It truly worries me; I believe it to be only a matter of time before violence is committed against a straight white male – maybe even more than one – for existing with those traits. And blood will be on the feminists’ hands.

cloudiah
11 years ago

It truly worries me; I believe it to be only a matter of time before violence is committed against a straight white male – maybe even more than one – for existing with those traits. And blood will be on the feminists’ hands.

Yet strangely enough, the only gender-based actually committed happened at the hands of a misogynist, 23 years ago today in Montreal. Here are the names those murdered for the crime of being a woman:
Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department
Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student

cloudiah
11 years ago

That should say “gender-based massacre” but I was a little upset once I realized today was the anniversary of that horrific event.

1 5 6 7 8 9 16