Categories
alpha asshole cock carousel alpha males armageddon beta males contraception evo psych fairy tales grandiosity heartiste hypergamy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny precious bodily fluids PUA

On Popes, PUAs, The Pill and the Alpha A-hole Cock Carousel

I'm pretty sure this is nt how birth control actually works.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how birth control actually works.

You might think that Pickup Artists, dudes obsessed with sexing up the young fertile lasses, would be huge fans of contraceptives – which, after all, are what makes their particular lifestyle possible. But some prominent PUAs are about as enthusiastic about contraception as a Pope.

In the case of the charming fellow who calls himself Heartiste, I mean this literally. In a recent posting, he quotes approvingly from Pope Paul VI’s 1968 Humanae Vitae dissing contraceptives for allegedly demeaning the women that use them. Paul suggested that contraception may cause men to

lose respect for the woman and, no longer caring for her physical and psychological equilibrium, may come to the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer as his respected and beloved companion.

I’m no Pope, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way.

Heartiste, for his part, embraces and extends this line of reasoning, adding in some of that Alpha-Beta-Schmeta nonsense that manosphereians seem to regard as cutting edge science.

[A]s cheap contraceptives silently and subtly move men toward devaluing women, so too does the technology move women toward devaluing beta males, those bitter losers in the sexual market (note: I did not say marriage market or child market) for whom contraceptives, coupled with female economic self-sufficiency, have rendered them practically superfluous as primetime sexual partners.

The mass-produced condom and the Pill have freed men from feeling obligation for women as much as they have freed women to regularly and blithely pursue what was historically risky sex with caddish alpha males on the make.

The contraceptive is, in practice, a female hypergamy facilitator.

Yep, that’s right: contraceptives are the tickets to the mythical Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel.

But poor Heartiste has impaled himself on the horns of a dilemma. He’s got a good anti-woman rant going, but there’s just one problem with it: he’s devoted his life to becoming one of those Alpha Assholes that contraceptive-using women purportedly cannot resist riding.

It’s funny for me to write this, because contraceptives have, in fact, been very very good to me. I did a back of the envelope calculation and figured that my aggregate sex life would have been truncated by 90% if contraceptives were prohibitively expensive, unreliable and hard to get. A world in which women had to grapple with real, palpable fears of STDs, pregnancy and subsequent abandonment is, not to put too fine a point on it, a really shitty world for womanizers and serial monogamists and uncomplicated lovers of the art of seduction itself. I imagine I’d have to *gasp* start promising marriage or some such claptrap to any woman I wanted to bang, just to loosen her up enough to unhook her bra.

Spoken like a true asshole.

Oh, but don’t worry, Heartiste isn’t going to stop attacking sex-having women as one of the harbingers of “the cultural and technological juggernaut that hastens, if it is not the sole cause of, the death of Western civilization.”

Indeed, Heartiste almost seems to relish the ironies of his position, as it allows him to spew forth some of the silliest purple prose you’re ever going to find outside the pages of bad romance novels (or comments from our friend Steele):

Here I am, standing at the edge of the abyss, pointing into its bowels like a histrionic jester, leading the ignorant and the deluded to peer into the void and imploring them — no, more precisely taunting them — to heed my warning of their desolate future… and still I cavort insouciantly along its lip, secretly relieved that no one will seriously weigh my prophecies.

Well, at least he’s right about that “histrionic jester” bit.

Last I checked, Heartiste’s post had spawned 450 comments. I can’t bring myself to look through them to see what further horrors can be found there.

EDITED TO ADD: You should all be aware that our lovely Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel illustration is available in t-shirt form! As is the Mammoth! And a delightful Cupcake as well! And you’re in luck! Zazzle is having another one-day 40% off sale on T-shirts! Click here to go to the Man Boobz Zazzle store. Use the code 12DAILYDEAL8. Oh, and in a lovely irony, the profits go to Planned Parenthood!

376 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
McKenzie
McKenzie
11 years ago

Soooo like this?

I am really enjoying Corgis recently. Mostly has to do with Breakin’ The Law

pillowinhell
11 years ago

That corgii is totally awesome!

Now I want one…

sidestinkappleeye
11 years ago

But, tell you what, you produce a quote of Dr. King talking about how the thought of fucking up the shit of White people gave him an erection and I’ll let it pass.

No one here’s heard the I have a dream (of fucking their shit up) speech?

On the impending violence to come against straight white men….

For quite a long time white men have been colonizing and enslaving women and people of color all over the world. If there were going to be some form of violent backlash towards white men as a group, it would have likely happened, as marginalized people have had plenty more reason than the words of feminists for hundreds of years.

Also, in before the sure to come NAWMALT comment, I am well aware that not all white men participated or condone those acts and in fact some protest this treatment of marginalized people. So please take your, “woe is me, your picking on the white guys.” comments somewhere else.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I wonder if Steele thinks the US Civil War was a War Against White Dudes? /snark

talacaris
talacaris
11 years ago

I’m confused, as always. IN PUA/MRA speak, is it alpha males or beta males who are the good guys? Or do they disagree?

cloudiah
11 years ago

Corgis are adorable. But mutts (in New Zealand) are learning how to drive!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Seems to depend on whether the speaker is bragging about how many women he’s raped persuaded into bed, or complainng about women preferring decent blokes the alpha cock carousel.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

PS my comment was to talacaris about MRAs etc, not about driving NZ dogs! 😀

McKenzie
McKenzie
11 years ago

I heard about the doggy driving school! When I saw it on the BBC news wobsite, I watched the video at least three times. It was great.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

Ack, Kathleen sorry, that was not at you! Apologies.

Kim
Kim
11 years ago

@steele

You went from ranting about the punishment for evil men to ranting about punishment for all straight white men.

This seems to be the hinge that the rest of your confusion revolves around.

Sure we think that a whole lot of straight white men are blind to their own privilege, but we don’t think they are evil. It’s the ones who act evil that we think are evil, and yes, a lot of time those evil men deserve to be punished (by having a fair trial and being punished in a fair and suitable way).

Why you think all straight white men deserve to be punished I don’t know… do you really think they are all evil? That’s very misandrist of you.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

3. I believe this will lead to violence against straight white men; I stand by that assertion. And the blood will be on feminists’ hands.

It always seems to come down to this.
Men, mostly straight white men, have been killing and killing and killing anyone who disobeys them for thousands of years. All this time they have lived in fear that their turn will come to be treated as they treat others.

Tell you what, Steele. If the day ever comes that women kidnap men to rape, torture, and kill them, you can say I told you so.

Zanana
Zanana
11 years ago

The only thing I like about Roissy’s post is that he proves the pope dead wrong. The pope is all, “Ladies need to fear unwanted pregnancies to make them demand respect from men. Which of course will keep those dastardly men in line, right? And then no one will have too much sexy-time.”
And Roissy is like, “Actually, no, I will just lie and tell them I’ll marry them, hahahaha…”

C’mon, pope, some a-holes are gonna disrespect and use other people no matter what. Disadvantaging people on purpose so that others will have pity is not a good strategy.

Jayem Griffin
11 years ago

Greetings, testing a hypothesis about our favorite vile friend.

Jayem Griffin
11 years ago

Okay, Steele is just stupid and pretentious then. I thought “vyle” might be an attempt to get around a word filter.

KathleenB
KathleenB
11 years ago

ostara321: That’s pretty much what I figured. I’m evidently a little paranoid tonight.

dualityheart
dualityheart
11 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen- Maybe that’s just my experience. Doesn’t help that I grew up in a town that was very full of the “good ol’ boy” types. You’d think that it wouldn’t be so prevalent in California, but then again…..

My older cousin was raped several times when she was in high school, then fell into drinking and drug abuse after. My mom regaled me with stories of her own sexual abuse as a child in foster care and at the hands of her alcoholic teen mom’s boyfriends. I was sexually molested several times in school by guys I thought were decent. Then I got raped later on by an ex who I had decided to stay friends with who had never given me any indication that he would rape me.

Needless to say, I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t even want to start dating again if I found myself single again.

Maybe I’m just the exception to the rule. God, I hope so.

ithiliana
11 years ago

PZ Myers, as well as John Scalzi, is speaking out against misogyny: so is a follow blogger, Chris Clarke, who posted a graphic comparing death rates in different categories; showing how many more women are killed than, say, soldiers in the current wars (in a certain time frame):

Steele, so try to rebut this:

http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/12/06/a-metaobservation-on-misogyny/

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Steele was never in my running for Troll of the Year (sorry, Tom Martin said penguins were whores; Steele has shown no such brilliance) but I’m all for ditching him. I mean, jeez, this isn’t even “What about the men,” it’s, “What about the HYPOTHETICAL FUTURE men!”

Bye, Steele. Either you dance or you go.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

@Jayem, ‘vile’ was on the moderation filter for a while. I assume that’s where the y came from.

Melody
11 years ago

TIMEOUT!
Sit in the corner and think about what you think

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

I’m think steele’s problem is physical; his posts are ridiculous because his head is up his ass. Who the hell could type anything decipherable in that position?

He’s also sounds young, in the worst way possible. Also, coming here is how he masterbates.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

This is vyle censorship!

Unless I missed the vyle-word being removed from moderation?

Vyle vyle vyle vyle vyle vyle vyle vyle.

sidestinkappleeye
11 years ago

I thought he was trying to class it up with a y in vyle.

1 10 11 12 13 14 16