So over on MGTOWforums, the regulars are pondering the age-old question – should these committed women-avoiders deal with their continued desire to stick their penises in the women they’re allegedly avoiding by resorting to prostitutes?
In the midst of a lively discussion on the advantages of “going pro” over trying to pick up a “bar hog,” one regular by the nom de internet Xtc sets forth some thoughts that, for a moment at least, seem to transcend the usual MGTOW crudity and bitterness.
“I don’t think it’s really about sex,” he writes. “I think what a lot of people are looking for is love, respect, and intimacy – which you can’t buy.”
Why, that almost seems like an insight!
Alas, in his very next sentence he spoils the moment by returning to the standard MGTOW narrative of female perfidy:
I think what put me off women altogether was the realisation that you’ll NEVER get [love, respect, and intimacy] for real. It’s sad and sobering, but that’s the way it is.
Thinking that the attention of women validates you as a person collapses once you realise they are attracted to the worst qualities in the worst men.
Thinking that the attention of women equals affection, intimacy, or love – collapses once you realise they will leave you in a second if they sense any weakness or if a BBD [bigger better deal] comes along. Then you’ll realise that the meter was running all the time, whether this was clear at the time or not.
Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good. Once you realise it’s a quack remedy, and the whole thing is a scam, you’re free to spit it out and never partake again.
That leaves you with sex alone, which is really rather easy to come by.
If women really and truly are “attracted to the worst qualities of the worst men,” why aren’t they lining up at these dudes’ front doors?
Bob: it’s a buyer’s market for women.
Then why the fuck shouldn’t they be picky?
SCREW IT, LET ME JUST ADMIT THAT WIMMENZ ARE EVIL. EVIL I TELL YOU, EVIL!!!!!
At least Bob isn’t pretending that it’s his “friend” who was in this relationship anymore.
KATZ, I AM GOING TO SLEEP AND RELYING ON YOU TO CARRY ON THE GIF WAR AGAINST TROLLS.
And I’ll just bet you have splinters, too. DELIBERATELY.
Bob: This If said change of heart is not preceded by mutual dysfunction, obvious incompatibility and an adequate explanation, then it is emotional negligence and emotional violence perpetrated against an innocent person. The solution is not to force the dumper to stay, but for that person to maybe stay out of relationships and work on themselves and to stop needlessly hurting other people and leaving wreckage in their wake. is why people think you are working out a personal problem.
I’ve had several relationships which were intense, loving, and long (from 6 months to 10 years) that ended. In some of them I thought, at some point, we were capable of being married. In two of them there was even a proposal, an acceptance, and the exchange of engagement rings.
One of those was the one that lasted 10 years.
I’m not married. Mostly I’ve been the one who was “left”. None of them “needlessly” hurt me (well, no, one of them did, but that means I dodged a bullet when she broke off the engagement). No “emotional violence was perpetrated against an innocent person”.
They decided that the relationship wasn’t working. Some decided that marrying me; which had looked right, no longer was.
They were being adults. You might want to try it. It’s a lot more pleasant than kvetching about how shallow women are for not marrying some guy, “of decent character” who gets around to asking them to marry him, just because he’s confused some good sex with, Twooo Wuv!”, and thinks he’s found his Princess Buttercup.
Bob: You know nothing of my relationship history
I would wager this is no longer true.
and you are so far off base with accusations of physical and emotional abuse that it would be impossible to ever reach any kind of common ground.
The last clause is true, but I think it’s because you are wrong about the first clause.
I am now using a hard chair when I watch television. My partners chipped in and helped my buy a spinning wheel.
I have a new toy for fiber arts.
Don’t you love how his (poor) attempt to be Mr Reasonable slips, and the bog-standard MRM language comes out? Woman ends relationship = “emotional negligence and violence” and leaves “wreckage”.
She left. Sad, but it sounds like she spared you both a lot of longer-term pain and possibly a messy divorce. As others have said – be grateful it was before the wedding and not afterward. I would add, go to a counsellor, talk to a professional about your pain. This really, really isn’t the place, least of all when you couch it in such sexist nonsense. This site is about mocking misogyny, not providing free therapy.
I WILL DO MY BEST.
DO YOU NEED BACKUP?
Pecunium–what kind of spinning wheel did you get? I’ve had a Spinolution’s Bee and a Kromski Sonata. I’ve liked them both, but I like the lack of the orifice on the bee and the fact that it folds up really tiny. It is sitting next to me, but I’ve been on a “learn new stuff” kick so I’ve been tatting and weaving and doing beadwork and not spinning.
I’m just going to cast on a pair of gloves for my sister now, though.
So the TL;DR is that Bob was once involved with a person who left him and made him sad, therefore all women leave men and make them sad and they shouldn’t be allowed to do that?
Dear Bob – You are not all men, and your ex is not all women. You sound like you need therapy. This is not a therapy group. Go find a more appropriate place to vent.
Also, oh no, Bob wouldn’t want to marry me! I’m sure that my husband will be relieved to hear that he doesn’t have a new rival in the form of a completely batshit MRA who’s decided to base his entire concept of how relationships work on one bad experience.
I want to hear more about those adventures in cavalier dating. Because, you know, lace collars and plumed hats and boots and breeches and satin and long hair and swords and …
…. and lutes.
🙂
I especially love this part.
So, you told her that if she didn’t want to get counselling with the aim of maybe getting back together then you didn’t want to remain in touch. So she didn’t call you. She didn’t want to get back together, so she went along with your wishes about that meaning no further contact. OMG, what a bitch! How could she respect your stated wishes like that?
The kindest interpretation I can put on that part (and it’s a stretch) is that he muddled “they couldn’t be friends or remain in touch” with “couldn’t they”, ie. asking if they could still be friends. That at least would make the following bit make some sense.
But yeah … more likel,y given his MRA nonsense, that she was expected to do what she was told and get back into a relationship, because ultimatum.
When someone is already expressing a desire not to be with you any more, there’s nothing like a good ultimatum to win them back!
(Should we tip Captain Awkward off to the existence of this thread? It really does make a perfect “what not to do when someone says they want to break up with you” test case.)
Dear Bob, I very much enjoyed it when, after I pointed out how entitled your use of language was, and how it didn’t get much more entitled than that, you immediately got more entitled than that. It was pretty amazing.
“emotional violence committed against an innocent person” or somesuch. Let’s see, you moved directly from comparing it to property crime to comparing it to assault. What’s next— acts of war? Is cutting off contact with somebody Pearl Harboring their soul or some shit? Or is “relationship fraud” like launching an ICBM?
A strange game, talking with trolls. The only way to win is not to play.
Also, how do you look at things like “women initiate most divorces” and not think about what kind of deal women are getting from marriage?* Because it’s not exactly an equal exchange, not even today. It’s a patriarchal institution: men still get more out of it than women do. Duh.
*That was a rhetorical question. The answer is that you are steeped in patriarchal values, Bob.
IT FEELS AS IF THERE IS AN INVISIBLE PLANE BETWEEN ME AND MARU
Wait, wait, wait… Do you mean to tell me that this whole time, all of this, has been about Bob?!
I. Am. Shocked.
Wordspinner: I got a Schact sidekick. I was looking at a Kromski (and it was much prettier), but I liked the folding and the direct drive (as opposed to needing to turn the treadling energy 90°) but what sold me was how much smoother the action was. The bearings were so much quieter, and the friction less.
I’m already making some mediocre yarn (I drop spin now, so it’s not a completely new skill).
Hippodameia asked “Any takers on how long it’ll take him to start telling us all about his girlfriends?”.
I put a fiver on “before midnight, USA Central Time.”
BobTroll tells us all about his FRIEND: at 11:11 p.m..
The regulars respond valiantly with logic, GIFs, and chairs.
Another day, another troll!