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$MONEY$ alpha males evil women hypergamy men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW MGTOW paradox misogyny sex

MGTOWer: “Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good.”

Like women, cats are sneaky creatures, up to no good.

So over on MGTOWforums, the regulars are pondering the age-old question – should these committed women-avoiders deal with their continued desire to stick their penises in the women they’re allegedly avoiding by resorting to prostitutes?

In the midst of a lively discussion on the advantages of “going pro” over trying to pick up a “bar hog,” one regular by the nom de internet Xtc sets forth some thoughts that, for a moment at least, seem to transcend the usual MGTOW crudity and bitterness.

“I don’t think it’s really about sex,” he writes. “I think what a lot of people are looking for is love, respect, and intimacy – which you can’t buy.”

Why, that almost seems like an insight!

Alas, in his very next sentence he spoils the moment by returning to the standard MGTOW narrative of female perfidy:

I think what put me off women altogether was the realisation that you’ll NEVER get [love, respect, and intimacy] for real. It’s sad and sobering, but that’s the way it is.

Thinking that the attention of women validates you as a person collapses once you realise they are attracted to the worst qualities in the worst men.

Thinking that the attention of women equals affection, intimacy, or love – collapses once you realise they will leave you in a second if they sense any weakness or if a BBD [bigger better deal] comes along. Then you’ll realise that the meter was running all the time, whether this was clear at the time or not.

Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good. Once you realise it’s a quack remedy, and the whole thing is a scam, you’re free to spit it out and never partake again.

That leaves you with sex alone, which is really rather easy to come by.

If women really and truly are “attracted to the worst qualities of the worst men,” why aren’t they lining up at these dudes’ front doors?

 

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ithiliana
7 years ago

The more I read Bob talking about his relationship,the more I get creeped out due to my own experiences. I grew up in a time and place where it was perceived as incredibly rude to say no to anybody.

Now, some of this is due to the way I processed information and some other factors that are personal to me, but the fact is I ended up not being able to say NO to anybody, about anything, because RUDE.

In my 20s I had sex with men not because I wanted to but because it would be rude to say no. *shudders* Sometimes it was just a one night thing, sometimes a sort of relationship developed that went on until the tension between his expectations and mine led to problems.

In some situations/relationships, my inability to speak up and set boundaries and say what I wanted would eventually build up to major explosion (on my part).

I still have some tendencies that way, but I’ve learned to say no, and to understand I need to set boundaries, and to do what I want, not just what everybody else wants (and most important of all to NOT feel fucking guilty).

And it helped when I was able to say flat out, I did not want to get married (I never wanted to get married, but good grief, try saying that out loud in small town Idaho in the 60s, *more shudders*).

So, um, TMI, but I am in great sympathy with the young woman because I can just “see” myself (absent the rapture stuff, but that’s just another whole level of fundamentalist religion fucking people up) going along because, well, it would be rude.

My situations never went that far, probably because I was pulling some passive aggressive stuff that was noticeable–so they broke up with me (and in most cases, it was a total relief).

But in cultures, especially the one that this young woman apparently came form, where women are acculturated into always being nice, always being agreeable, never saying no, etc. etc. etc., well, I can see this “sudden” change coming as it just all built up.

So, no, I’m not inclined to blame a woman in that situation. (Neither am I inclined to blame the man.) Just, life isn’t fair, and shit happens.

chibigodzilla
7 years ago

@Diogenes

What’s weird about homebrew?

Sarah
7 years ago

Ok, so, I’m wondering what Diogenes did? I’m sorry I don’t follow the comment section as well as I used to, but they said nothing particularly bad on this article, so why does everyone hate them so much?

And, come on guys. Bob is sad and lonely and confused and hurt and not dealing well, and that’s ok. It’s how people are. And while it’s not our job to fix him, we don’t have to keep ragging at him. If you want him to go away just ignore him.

I mean, he’s not being particularly nasty, just kind of dumb. Everyone’s reaction seems a bit over the top, particularly toward someone who is grieving.

I made mulled wine last night, it was delicious, and I saved the leftover apples in jars with brandy.

pecunium
7 years ago

KittySnide: Is your maple whisky Sortilege? If so that’s nom. Much Nommier than the various honey-bourbons I’ve had in the States.

pecunium
7 years ago

Sarah: Diogenes main problem is that he is naive, in the extreme, and thinks he’s uber-clued in. Added to his name, with all the attendant baggage such a pretension bring along, he’s not got a whole lot of good will built up.

In short, he’s more doltish than harmful.

Apparently (I didn’t see the link) he’s also something of a twit on dating advice.

I do, tend, to agree with him that a “martini” needs gin, but as there is no other good name for it I don’t really care (I am, with martinis, something of a stick in the mud… gin, vermouth [somewhere between 4-5:1] olives, perhaps a twist of lemon).

Some of the nastier things I have tried, Ratzputz (a ginger based liqueur, color of artificial maraschino), Frenet Branca (added to cocktails, ok… as an aperitif/digestif, no way). Things I refused to try, Garlic Beer, Cynar.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

I straight up won’t drink a vodka martini unless it is ultra tippy-top shelf. I will drink a gin martini made with nearly anything, and the dirtier the better. 😉

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
7 years ago

Whew! I was terrified he’d come back.

I mean, he’s not being particularly nasty, just kind of dumb. Everyone’s reaction seems a bit over the top, particularly toward someone who is grieving.

You know, Sarah this is a pretty long thread so it’s not only possible but understable that you may not have read the entire exchange. But that discussion with “Bob” took place over the course of two and half days. And it started because he came in here saying some fairly ridiculous and inflammatory stuff. Specifically, that women had no good reason to turn down marriage proposals and, as a group, are intellectually and emotionally immature.

All the stuff about his break up, though easily guessed at, wasn’t admitted until later. Much, much later. He was kind of an ass.

MordsithJ
7 years ago

I ought to try mulled wine again. I used to have a friend who made it, but she always used the cheapest wine and it was awful. Kind of turned me off from the whole concept.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

@MordsithJ, there is a nordic mulled wine called glögg that was introduced to me by some performers in one of the Christmas Revels.

Basically you soak whole cloves, cinnamon, allspice, star anise, orange peel, and other mulling spices in vodka for about a week. You then melt sugar into a sweet red wine and add the vodka.

Obviously, it will knock you on your ass.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

Holy crap, twenty thousand words of Bob?

No wonder my eyes always glazed over when his comments appeared.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
7 years ago

Glögg is fantastic. I love making it in the winter. But not quite as much as I love cinnamon apple whiskey. Basically, you soak apples in the whiskey for six weeks, and a couple cinnamon sticks in it for two. I usually start out with the cinnamon and the apples in the jug, and take the cinnamon out after two weeks, but it might be easier to put the cinnamon in at the end. I recommend peeling the apples to remove the bitter taste. Delicious on its own or with a bit of simple syrup. The apples can be baked into a pie or served over ice cream, but they soak up a lot of the bitter from the liquor and have to be seasoned heavily.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

I can’t believe I went away for ONE WEEKEND and you guys managed to rack up a 900-comment thread (I’ve read it all) and BREAK STEELEBUTT.

Without me :(((

Bob Smith
Bob Smith
7 years ago

“In short if (as has been suggested before) you think the woman gives up the right to change her mind the minute she accepts a proposal.”

No, I don’t think that. If I thought that, the corollary is that I don’t have the right to ever change my mind. I think there’s a world of difference between two people that are casually dating, have only been going out for a short while, or are not monogamous, as opposed to somebody that is in a serious relationship and has accepted a proposal. Your mileage may vary, but I think most people would agree that once you accept a proposal, you are in effect saying that you are committed to giving your relationship your best shot and that relationships sometimes require work and effort. You’re saying that you have invested quite a bit and you’re not just going to bolt out the door with little to no explanation. Her behavior would have made a lot more sense if we were not seriously involved.

Nobody should bat an eye when the person you’ve been seeing for a month or two says “Sorry, it’s been nice getting to know you, but I don’t think it’s going to work out.” When the same thing happens with your fiancee, and there hasn’t been something that has fundamentally altered your relationship, hey you can’t stop that person from leaving and you shouldn’t try. But I think most people on the receiving end of that treatment would come to conclude the person they were involved with was immature, flaky, unreliable, etc. Why is that so hard to understand?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

Bob, GO AWAY. You’re not listening to anyone and we’re not your therapists. Just go away.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
7 years ago

Well, Bob, maybe we have a hard time understanding you because you’re panting too heavily from moving all those goalposts. Since you have no intention of honest conversation, and no one here is your personal therapist, maybe it’s time to move on.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
7 years ago

But not quite as much as I love cinnamon apple whiskey.

Why am I only learning about this now?! What kind of whiskey do you like to use? And is there anyway to speed up the process? How does it taste after, say, four weeks?

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
7 years ago

Holy fuck, is Bob still here? O.o Dude, get a hobby. I suggest knitting or calligraphy. Something that keeps you from typing.

@Sarah

While diogenes hasn’t been dumb in this particular thread, he’s left some real gems in other ones and the universe does not reset itself every time David puts up a new post. Also, what pecunium said.

MKlein
MKlein
7 years ago

(de-lurking)
Okay, so this is another reason I love this blog: random, awesome discussions in the comment threads. Learning all about the alcohol…(not legally old enough to drink yet, so this is all so exciting to me)
@Bagelsan:
re: Bob Smith and Diogenes the Critic: I SHIP IT.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
7 years ago

I usually go for Old Crow or another similarly cheap bourbon. I would guess that after four weeks it’s probably OK, and that a lot of the later soaking relates to smoothness and not flavor. I tried a taste at 2 weeks when I pulled out the cinnamon, and there was a lot of cinnamon flavor, but not much apple, and it still had the cheap bourbon bite to it. Maybe starting from a nicer whiskey would also speed it up. The roughness of Old Crow is *gone* after six weeks, and the result is delicious and smooth, so if you started from a base that was smooth to begin with, you could just flavor the whiskey and not soak out the bitterness.

MKlein
MKlein
7 years ago

(Not trying to imply that you’re enabling underage drinking. What i mean is i don’t know much about cocktails/weird alcohol because of not having the opportunity to learn from experience yet, and being too rule-bound/square to experiment on my own.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

Hey, thenatfantastic – how was Brussels? (Was that this weekend?) Did you have a good time?

MKlein
MKlein
7 years ago

Diogenes the *Cynic*
Comment fail.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

MKlein – that sums up 99% of his comments!

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

I honestly have no idea wtf Bob expects us to do or say any more.

It’s clear that we are not going to join him in excoriating womankind or feminism for something his fiancée did, nor will we even join him in saying that his fiancée must be a bad person based on a one-sided screed from a lovelorn manchild. We’re not even willing to concede that feminism is responsible for making men feel blamed for everything, damn our eyes.

So why keep posting? Why? What magic words are we not saying?

talacaris
talacaris
7 years ago

” universe does not reset itself every time David puts up a new post”

Sure it doesn’t? It does when I command so.

TO UNIVERSE, WITH BINDING EFFECT ON REALITY: RESET!!! I COMMAND THEE RESET THUS HEAKEN AND FEAR, SEE,VERILY MY COMMAND IS THE LAW RESET NOW! SO BE IT THUS I DECLARE AND PROCLAIM THE RESET OF THE UNIVERSE.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

@inu – “Yes, you’re right” or some variation on that theme. Yeah, even though it should be obvious we’re not going to, and he does seem to read what is written, but comprehend it? Think about it? Mmmf. Dunno about that. The more I see, the more hints about why his girlfriend did eventually bail.

talacaris
talacaris
7 years ago

KCUF, should be hearken in the last post, but as everbody knows spelling is mis*.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Bob, I’ve read all the comments here (I was bored at work today) and there’s been something niggling at me, and since you’re back I want to say it:

I think the problem you’re having here (aside from all the other problems) is that you’re clinging to the idea that people women just decide to fuck off with no warning because, flighty bitches. Even when your supposed Ur example – your own relationship – has been admitted, by yourself, to have warning signs. You also admit that this was better than you getting married.

Now, here’s the thing. I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m not talking about your relationship, but I certainly know a lot of relationships that have ended with one partner (usually male) being absolutely flummoxed as to why, while the person who actually left has, in part, left because their partner was so bloody inattentive that they haven’t glommed on to a single clue that they might be unhappy – these were usually men who cling to the idea that all relationships need are for there to be meals on the table and access to someone lying back and thinking of England three nights a week, and all this talking malarkey is for sissies* (although actually I will talk about your relationship for a second – she talked about wanting to be raptured and you had no clue she might not be thrilled with life? Fuck’s sake man).

If the last paragraph doesn’t make sense, I’ll use a personal example: I was with my ex for five years. We got engaged after four and a half years, and when I left him he was absolutely shell-shocked. Hadn’t seen it coming at all. Didn’t think a single thing had changed – he was right about that, nothing had changed. One night we were coming home from a night out and I got out of the taxi to take some money out to pay for it, then decided I wasn’t going home with him. That was it. Never went back. Even got my friend to go clear my stuff out of the house.

Now I know you think I’m queen bitch at this point, but the reason I left him that night wasn’t because I was ‘immature, flaky or unreliable’, it was because he was an abusive shit who’d treated me like hell for at least three years by that point, and I finally snapped. Best decision I ever made. Not having me at his beck and call (trust me, I was not the immature, flaky or unreliable one in that relationship) or to use as his verbal punching bag or walking wallet meant that he had to sort his shit out, so it benefitted him too (although to be honest with hindsight I couldn’t really give a fuck about that, but one of the reasons I stayed so long and accepted his half-assed proposal was that I literally thought he would die if I wasn’t around).

So while I don’t think you’re advocating for people to stay in loveless relationships, I do think you’re a fucking clod for thinking that every single time a person woman shocks a man by leaving him that it’s because she’s a big immature meany-pants and refusing to even entertain other notions. PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT THERE’S SEVEN BILLION OF US ON THE PLANET YOU CAN’T ASCRIBE ARBITRARY MOTIVATIONS TO THE BEHAVIOUR OF PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW.

(*I don’t think this is a normal thing for men to think but it was pretty common in the men I’d see coming into the pub I ran and telling me about their (ex-)wives, then hearing the story from the women the next night. Also happened to my mum.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

“KCUF” reminds me of a funny tee shirt I saw the other day, sending up those FCUK ones (can’t abide them) – “FCEK: Irish Connection”

heheheh

drst
drst
7 years ago

I had a feeling Bob’s insistence that his definitions of all things relationship-related being Inviolate Truth had something to do with his personal history. It was that or he was a young guy who had never had reason to question what he absorbed from his parents/teachers about cultural norms and thus insisted they had to be right because God forbid he have to ask himself some hard questions.

Actually it’s probably both, eh? Poor guy.

I never drink alcohol but I just had an awesome 4″ meatball sub for lunch. 🙂

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Kittehs, it was this weekend, yes. I had a really good time, but I think that was more to do with the people I was with (one of whom I hadn’t seen for six months) than the actual city, which is a bit of a tourist trap without actually having much to see. Because there wasn’t much to see, we drank a LOT of beers, proper Belgian ones, fruit ones (OMG MANGO BEER) and went to one beer hall which has the largest collection of beers from around the world (over 2000 at last count) in stock, where we drank beers from Belgium, China, Palestine and a few others. It was slightly marred by one of our friends getting really ill on the Saturday night with tonsilitis and spending two hours being searched in Calais on the way back at 3am because our coach picked people up from Amsterdam before it picked us up from Brussels BUT we also all got free hats from one bar and there was the awesomeness from the video below in the main square, which made me think I’d walked into an episode of Doctor Who, so overall I give the weekend a solid C+.

http://youtu.be/lKKfu290a7o

talacaris
talacaris
7 years ago

I guess what Bob wants is to be reassured that he is allowed to feel hurt is allowed to feel sad when he is dumped His blaming is not a good or fair way to express these feelings. And yes he’s been told that before in this marathon-thread, but because of his current state of mind, he is not able to understand what he wants to hear.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

One of these days I will write a sentence in fewer than four lines, I swear.

(This doesn’t count.)

pecunium
7 years ago

Bob-Dude: and there hasn’t been something that has fundamentally altered your relationship

There was; on her end.

That’s the real problem… you aren’t granting her agency (same thing with the “no good reason to turn down a proposal” shit you opened with).

She, obviously, thought something had changed. So she didn’t do a great job of sharing that with you. That sucks. She could have done it better.

But that’s the way life goes. Let It Go.

Otherwise, the level of misery you have now is just a downpayment on the emotional wreck you seem to want to make of all your future.

Nobody should bat an eye when the person you’ve been seeing for a month or two says “Sorry, it’s been nice getting to know you, but I don’t think it’s going to work out.”

Horseshit. Being dumped hurts. The first month is all warm-fuzzies and happy-glow and imagining how glorious the future is gonna be. Having that tossed away hurts. Yo may not have as much invested, you may get over it quicker, but it not trivial.

You need to see a professional; because you don’t seem to have a clue about how things work; not relatioships, nor people in general.

Seriously dude. Get Over Yourself.

Not that you will actually pay attention. I’ve actually put a fair bit of effort into trying to explain things to you (what with personal history, outside sources, relevant questions) and all you do is parrot the same shit: “She just up and left; no reason, no warnings. Didn’t care and Oh!, She done me wrong”.

If you lavished the same attention on her you have given me… she was the one hard done by.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
7 years ago

The roughness of Old Crow is *gone* after six weeks, and the result is delicious and smooth, so if you started from a base that was smooth to begin with, you could just flavor the whiskey and not soak out the bitterness.

Thank you! I think I’m going to have to try this. It sounds drunkenly delicious.

Historophilia
Historophilia
7 years ago

Oh sweet merciful heavens is this thread still going?

drst
drst
7 years ago

So I think I have the jist of this:

Bob’s fiance for a variety of reasons realized that she didn’t want to get married after they had gotten engaged. And told him so. She stopped speaking to him and he’s hurt.

Bob’s decided all womankind is to blame for this particular woman changing as a person as time went on. He’s angry and vengeful that he can’t force people not to change over time, and thinks it’s a flaw of modern society that human beings are not psychic and don’t know precisely how they will change over time in advance so they can avoid doing things Bob does not appreciate. He feels people (i.e. women) not knowing that their feelings will change at some unknown point in the future constitutes emotional violence and time theft of which he is the victim.

And he expects us all to sympathize with his view that people changing is somehow personally unfair to him and an example of misandry. (Bob also thinks he can’t be a misogynist because he doesn’t actually use the word “misandry” though he implies it like woah.)

He insists that we all are saying things about “blaming men for not wanting to get married and the state of modern relationships” that none of us has said or believes, and uses that to justify his and the entire MRM’s hatred of women.

He uses his anger that his fiance changed her mind to insist that marriage was better back when you couldn’t get out of it because then people only did it for love if you changed over time there was nothing you could do but stay married to the guy.

Did I miss anything?

ostara321
ostara321
7 years ago

Honestly, I think more than anything, Bob needs some Captain Awkward up in this shit.
http://captainawkward.com/2011/11/13/lies-we-tell-ourselves/

I think this part is best:

Go hang out with your friends, lick your wounds in private, focus on other stuff, and live to seek another day. Your negative feelings are your feelings. You need to learn to process them and comfort yourself, and not blame them all on someone else, or persist under the illusion that there was a way that rejection sandwich could have been made tastier or that people who have rejected you owe you a self-improvement consult after-the-fact. Take that sense of entitlement you have about what the object of your affection owes you out to the back yard and shoot it like (rabid Old Yeller, an infected zombie). Even if the person who rejected you did act like a big confusing jerk about it, the result will be the same: You. Rejected. How much more energy are you going to pour into a lost cause?

Emphasis mine. Rejection sucks and people can be sucky. Even if all you said was true (debatable, since you seem to offer varying pictures of what happened and your words suggest you might not be as “of good character” as you might think), what does it matter? Does forcing her into some kind of contract mindset after the end of your relationship have any impact whatsoever on YOUR continued life? Do yourself a favor and forget her. Move on. Join one of those “male subcultures” you think are rightly giving the bird to women and society in general. I promise you, no one here is going to stop you. Get a hobby, a pet, a new motorcycle or a library card and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

I promise you, for every woman who has a change of heart and breaks some man’s heart (since Bob is only concerned with the heterosexual romances – btw Bob, erasure IS a form of homophobia), there is a man who has done the exact same thing to a woman. This shit happens to people and it sucks and is hard but it is not the end of the world and it does not mark the need for some kind of moral imperative for people to behave a certain way that YOU deem acceptable. You have mentioned you think both men and women do this, yet you only seem focused on women who bail on serious relationships. You cite no actual statistics, but link to articles and talk about books and your experience as if personal anecdata marks some sort of growing phenomenon.

In regards to it not being “so bad” and “why did she stay if it was so bad?” – dude, you can’t know how bad it was. You might never know how bad it was. Because you are not her and if she doesn’t tell you, that is her right and you have to deal with it. And speaking from my perspective, it WAS “so bad”. I stayed available for an “on again, off again” guy in college who was moody, manipulative, and was basically on again, off again with me so he could hook up with other girls at parties. It was bad. It was real damn bad. But I stayed because he said he didn’t know what he’d do without me and he had suicidal tendencies. I didn’t want to break his heart (or possibly trigger a suicide). It was bad when I was in a LDR with a guy who seemed to have no actual plans ever to try to see me or move closer. We talked about it, but never actually decided on anything and whenever he would talk about coming up he would always talk in vague terms or when he would actually make plans, he would bail at the last minute. I stayed for three years because he said he was sooooo in love with me, I didn’t want to break his heart. I am willing to bet my bottom dollar that both men thought they treated me exceptionally well and couldn’t understand why I broke it off with them (and to be fair, the LDR was immensely supportive and wonderful to chat with). But both did things that hurt me, that made the relationship unworkable for me, but I stayed and I did try to work things out and I did try to explain when things were wrong until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. And for the record, “if it was so bad, why did she stay?” logic is very very much in line with abuser’s lobby DV apologia. No, maybe you weren’t an abusive asshole to your ex, but you’ll understand why, when you use the same language as the abuser lobby (and claim to agree with much of the MRM, which is basically shorthand for abuser lobby anyway), why many folks here might be inherently distrustful of your word. Because many of the words you have used (unwittingly or not) are inherently in contempt of consent and autonomy. And very very inherently distrustful of women being able to asses their own reality, which IS misogynist.

You talk about how horrible it is for people breaking people’s hearts (women in particular) but don’t seem to realize that the fear of hurting someone can be a HUGE part of the reason why so many women stay, even if it is, “so bad”. And that pressure to stay, that pressure to “not be a bitch” to not “break his heart” (that ultimately can cause more pain in the end), because, come on, it’s not “sooooo bad” does NOT come from feminists or computers or women’s advancement in the workplace or any of the things we have now that our grandparents didn’t have. It comes from the same culture that tried to keep women out of the workplace and bemoans how horrible it is that women don’t need men in order to live their lives. It comes from people telling women not to be horrible heartbreaking bitches and people telling women they’re getting close to their expiry date so they’d better start getting less choosy. If you want people to be more straightforward and forthright, pressuring people to either stay or go is not going to help with that.

And more to the point, it’s not like you can really mandate some sort of straightforwardness clause in the laws of dating because there are no laws of dating and thank the fucking lord for that. You cannot mandate that the dating people of the world behave in a way YOU deem acceptable because the only person in life you can control is yourself (at best, you’ll get some people who will flip you off and tell you to mind your own damn beeswax) and it won’t solve all the dating problems anyway. People are complex and weird and frustrating and delightful and funny and annoying and obtuse and blunt (sometimes all at once) and different things work for different people. The best you can do is tell people to be themselves and use their words and hope for the best. (which, again, is NOT something that was terribly encouraged back in “the good ol’ days” of our grandparents).

And even if there were official dating laws passed by the dating congress and signed off on by the department of dating, and even if you could get your “stay or go! No time thieving or emotional terrorism!” mandate made a law, what then? Would you really feel safe and secure giving your heart to someone else? Would it really help you move on? Would it really give you the closure you feel you need? I suspect it wouldn’t. And not just because then you’d wonder if people were only with you because of the damn straightforwardness clause instead of because they really loved you. It’s because 9 times out of 10 the best two things that heal a broken heart are 1) not dwelling and 2) time. So you aren’t ready for dating yet? That’s cool. Lots of people aren’t. Take some time for yourself. Read some new books, learn a new skill, join a new club. You seem to think there’s this limit on when and where you can’t find love, but there really isn’t. I promise you, the less you freak out about “time wasters” and finding “twu wuv NAO” the more likely you are to heal. And the more you heal, the easier it will be for you to fall in love again, if in fact, future you decides that that’s what you want (and it’s totally ok if you don’t).

Guess what whining on feminist blogs about time wasters and how much better things were back in the good ol’ days only to explode in a mess of uncomfortable (and unasked for, might I add) oversharing is? Dwelling. STOP IT. Stop it right now. Get lost. Whining to a bunch of strangers (who were a hell of a lot nicer in a lot of ways than they had to be) about your ex who done you wrong is NOT HELPING you to get over it.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
7 years ago

Thank god this thread has booze in it!

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

I know right? I’m counting the remaining hours of the workday — my BFF/ex-gf and I are headed to Tavern to have fat appetizers and a pitcher of neon booze.

I value in myself the ability to enjoy tiki-inspired alchemy as well as classic cocktails.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Oh sweet merciful heavens is this thread still going?

Now we’ve got this far I’m tempted to just go for the one-thousand. It’s been a while since that happened (think the last time was Steelebutt’s legendary “my English teacher was a misandrist” thread).

Old question but I just remembered the most disgusting drink I ever saw. When I was working in the pub some dude ordered a Baileys, Southern Comfort and lemonade. In the same glass, the monster.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Baileys, Southern Comfort and lemonade – surely the lemonade made the lemonade curdle? Euwww!

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Ok, this lurgy is making my brain curdle. I meant that the Baileys would curdle.

Thinking about it, I think I have some caramel Baileys in the kitchen ….

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

Are we talking american lemonade (lemon juice, sugar, water) or UK lemonade (citrus soda)? b/c the latter might not curdle, but the former absolutely would.

Like a cement mixer, but without the self-awareness. 😛

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Yes, it was UK lemonade, and oh boy it curdled. It looked like that scummy slush you get in gutters the day after it snows.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

uuugggggh. I was sort of hoping that the fact that UK lemonade is more like soda would save the baileys. No such luck.

Ugh.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

So if we play this thread backward (like the old joke about country music), will Bob finally go away?

The most disgusting drink ever: a dirty vanilla vodka martini. Bartender grabbed the wrong thing in a rush, hilarity ensued.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Inurashii, you didn’t have to clean the glass. *thousand yard stare*

KathleenB
KathleenB
7 years ago

thenatfantastic: When I was younger, I worked in an ice cream shop/restaurant that was connected to a bar. Early in the season, some asshole bartender tossed a bunch of empty beer bottles/cans into a random storage closet. They weren’t found until fucking August. It was… an experience I’d rather forget.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
7 years ago

thenatfantastic – glad you had fun on your weekend! Sucks about someone getting sick, though. 🙁

And that drink sounds appalling … bleaaargh.

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