So over on MGTOWforums, the regulars are pondering the age-old question – should these committed women-avoiders deal with their continued desire to stick their penises in the women they’re allegedly avoiding by resorting to prostitutes?
In the midst of a lively discussion on the advantages of “going pro” over trying to pick up a “bar hog,” one regular by the nom de internet Xtc sets forth some thoughts that, for a moment at least, seem to transcend the usual MGTOW crudity and bitterness.
“I don’t think it’s really about sex,” he writes. “I think what a lot of people are looking for is love, respect, and intimacy – which you can’t buy.”
Why, that almost seems like an insight!
Alas, in his very next sentence he spoils the moment by returning to the standard MGTOW narrative of female perfidy:
I think what put me off women altogether was the realisation that you’ll NEVER get [love, respect, and intimacy] for real. It’s sad and sobering, but that’s the way it is.
Thinking that the attention of women validates you as a person collapses once you realise they are attracted to the worst qualities in the worst men.
Thinking that the attention of women equals affection, intimacy, or love – collapses once you realise they will leave you in a second if they sense any weakness or if a BBD [bigger better deal] comes along. Then you’ll realise that the meter was running all the time, whether this was clear at the time or not.
Women are like a bitter medicine that you force yourself to swallow because you believe it is doing you good. Once you realise it’s a quack remedy, and the whole thing is a scam, you’re free to spit it out and never partake again.
That leaves you with sex alone, which is really rather easy to come by.
If women really and truly are “attracted to the worst qualities of the worst men,” why aren’t they lining up at these dudes’ front doors?
They’re not awful. They’re just not riddled with insecurity. And they like dating.
Why Bob is almost killing my high from just watching the season finales of “The Walking Dead” and “Boardwalk Empire.”
“What I don’t want is to seriously date a woman, that woman gives me the impression that she is in love with me, we have a good relationship by typical criteria, and after we’ve spent enough time getting to know each other and making sure our values, our goals, our priorities line up and we have good chemistry, only for the woman to then say “Eh, I don’t think so.” Call it the Kate Bolick or Eat, Betray, Love scenario.”
Hi, hello there, Bob. Sometimes people don’t know each other, so they try each other on by going on dates. After three of four dates, one party may think, “Meh, I’m not feeling it.” And so what? I’m not obligated to like you after I’ve spent time sincerely trying to get to know you.
“If you are denying that men in general prefer and date younger, then I don’t know that I can help you.”
That’s some men, Bob. You don’t speak for all men….stop pretending that you do. Also, based on personal experience, men who only, as a rule, date younger, are typically scared shitless of aging. I dated some of these guys by mistake, and once they showed their true colors, I couldn’t get away fast enough. The fear and self-hate proved to be very unattractive. It was like dating a vampire.
“Because in western societies men pursue women and rarely is it the other way around. These subcultures exist because these men are frustrated at their inability to get what they want from women. A woman if she is reasonably attractive can take a very passive approach to dating and she will still get approached by men, whether she wants to be approached or not. A man can take care of himself physically, have a good job, develop lots of hobbies and interests besides xbox and internet porn in an effort to become a well-rounded person, and it is still an uphill climb to get a girlfriend. Not impossible, but he is going to have to really put himself out there repeatedly and endure rejection after rejection in order to get what he wants.”
The second half of that paragraph is Bob pulling shit out of his ass….basically you’re saying a guy with lots of good qualities still has a hard time dating.
Where are you getting this from, Bob?
Also, where did you learn that rejection is the worst thing that can happen to a human being? You also show your ass when you whine about how terrible attractive women are, because they can be “passive” but still be “approached by men.” You sound like a “Nice Guy” ™, really. Cry me a fucking river.
“It doesn’t get much more entitled than directly comparing someone else’s change of heart to “a property crime.”
If said change of heart is not preceded by mutual dysfunction, obvious incompatibility and an adequate explanation, then it is emotional negligence and emotional violence perpetrated against an innocent person. The solution is not to force the dumper to stay, but for that person to maybe stay out of relationships and work on themselves and to stop needlessly hurting other people and leaving wreckage in their wake.
He appears to be our new blog herpes.
Dear friends reading along, particularly those of you who’re young – if you ever encounter a person with this attitude in real life, run. Run far away and don’t look back. This is what Captain Awkward refers to as a Darth Vader Ex in the making.
“Hi, hello there, Bob. Sometimes people don’t know each other, so they try each other on by going on dates. After three of four dates, one party may think, “Meh, I’m not feeling it.” And so what? I’m not obligated to like you after I’ve spent time sincerely trying to get to know you.”
I have no problem at all with this scenario. I do not heavily invest emotionally in women that I have only been on 3 or 4 dates with. It is impossible for a woman I’ve been on 3 or 4 dates with to break my heart if she says “Thanks but no thanks.” That’s not what I’m talking about.
That inevitably happens when women have other options for survival in a society than to become the chattel of a man.
I think that is a good thing, myself. For women. I’m sure it is more complicated now for men than it used to be when women’s choices were even more limited than they are now.
That would be the “needlessly” bit I suppose. You are just flat wrong.
Yes, of course. Because being turned down is the worst thing that could ever happen to any man. And the only reason a woman would turn down marriage is emotional negligence and violence.
Every relationship that consists of more than six dates should end in marriage. END TIME THEFT AND RELATIONSHIP FRAUD.
And this right here is Bob waving his red flag as high as he can. *shudder*
Newsflash, Bob: “I don’t want to” is an incredibly “adequate” explanation for not dating someone. You are not owed anything more “adequate” than that.
You dated me for 6 months and now you say you don’t want to marry me? I AM SUING YOU FOR BREACH OF CONTRACT.
Well, I think we’ve officially reached meltdown. Bob has now gone from standard whiny sexist dude to a male version of this.
You have not given me an adequate explanation for breaking up with me. YOU ARE HEREBY SENTENCED TO DIE ALONE.
Hey, wow, I have turned into BOBSMITHBOT.
“Dear friends reading along, particularly those of you who’re young – if you ever encounter a person with this attitude in real life, run. Run far away and don’t look back. This is what Captain Awkward refers to as a Darth Vader Ex in the making.”
My attitude towards somebody leaving under unfair circumstances is to let them. If you really love somebody, you let them go and don’t interfere with their desire to pursue their course as they see fit. I don’t have to like it or intellectually respect it, but I do have to abide by somebody’s wishes to end our relationship, whether I agree with it or not.
This completely plays in to what I am arguing – Boy Meets Girl. Boy and Girl date and fall in love. Boy tells Girl he wants to ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after. Girl tells Boy she feels exactly the same way. Girl introduces Boy to alll her friends and her family as her future husband. Girl frequently tells Boy he is the best guy she’s ever been with and it’s the best relationship she’s ever had. Girl tells Boy she thanks God for bringing him into her life and she can’t wait to succeed in life with him as her husband by her side. Everything is going great. They begin to move forward with preparations to get married. Then one day Girl says Bye, See ya later, no explanation necessary. Boy would have walked to the ends of the Earth to work things out with Girl. Boy never was informed of any problems or given that opportunity. Boy is devastated, hurt and confused. Girl disappears off face of the Earth.
Boy lets her go and abides by her decision. Boy does not and will not ever accept this as something he has to intellectually respect. Boy is not the bad guy and has the right to regard this kind of cutting and running with contempt. Boy goes searching for answers and comes to find out that he is not alone and is far from the first person to be dealt this wound.
No explanation is ever adequate for an abuser. I gotta tell ya Bob, you sound remarkably like so very many exes described on abuse forums.
People have explained things to you on this thread and you have completely disregarded them and claimed that you mean something entirely different from what you said. I’m guessing you pull this same dishonest crap with your girlfriends.
“Every relationship that consists of more than six dates should end in marriage. END TIME THEFT AND RELATIONSHIP FRAUD.”
If only I were making that argument. I am not. You can’t rebut my arguments because I am not proposing that women immediately get engaged to decent guys that they’ve dated casually for a few weeks.
Boy is a controlling jackass, girl glad she left.
“No explanation is ever adequate for an abuser. I gotta tell ya Bob, you sound remarkably like so very many exes described on abuse forums.”
You know nothing of my relationship history and you are so far off base with accusations of physical and emotional abuse that it would be impossible to ever reach any kind of common ground.
Some years back, I dated a guy for about eight months, after which point he broke it off because…he didn’t want to date me anymore. That was pretty much the entire reason he gave. We had no mutual dysfunction; we had never even had a serious fight. We were not obviously incompatible – in fact, we maintained a friendship for years afterward. He just didn’t want to date me anymore.
So, pop quiz. Did I:
(a) throw a shitfit and demand a more “adequate explanation”?
(b) blame all men for being immature and committing “time theft”?
(c) whine on the internet about how men need to take responsibility and not engage in “relationship fraud”?
(d) accept his decision, feel pretty sad and eat a lot of chocolate for a couple of weeks, and then move on with my life?
If you picked D, congratulations, you’re a normal human being! If you picked anything else, you are Bob, and have serious fucking entitlement issues! Please get some kind of help for that!
HERE IS A GIF THAT IS ABOUT 100X MORE INTERESTING THAN BOB SMITH.
“Boy is a controlling jackass, girl glad she left.”
Boy would never ask for your hand in marriage.
“If you picked D, congratulations, you’re a normal human being! If you picked anything else, you are Bob, and have serious fucking entitlement issues! Please get some kind of help for that!”
Are you accusing me, somebody you don’t know, of refusing to accept the decision of an ex?
What? Breakups hurt, is what you’re trying to say? What’s you’re point? Breaking up with someone is actually quite painful. It take introspection and the inevitable conclusion that you might hurt someone’s feelings.
Bob, the way you are arguing here tells me everything I need to know about the way you argue. No sane person would want to have a long term relationship with a person who behaves the way you do.