On his newish blog Return of Kings, pickup-guru-turned-philosopher Roosh V has come up with yet another way to justify his creepy obsession with women a lot younger than his hairy self: he compares them with loaves of bread.
When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)
When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)
If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)
If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)
The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.
Well, that was creepy as fuck.
Also, he seems a bit confused about when puberty actually happens. Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.
Eww.
*total support for Steele boycotting all feminists* YAY!
Steele, who don’t you GYOW and boycott this whole blog?
WHy can’t you give us up?????????
Maybe men are sausage or salami? Generally any meat you put between the bread. Once you put the sausage in the bread, it gets all greasy and no other sausage gets un-greased bread, right? Don’t know how well sausage holds up over time though.
Hey, I’ve been lurking a long time. I figured I’d finally start commenting.
I think the funniest thing about the bread metaphor is how blatantly untrue it is. There are lots of women older than 30 who are attractive. It’s definitely not some inexorable march of stale moldiness towards old age.
Also I’m going to have to agree with the others who are saying that Steele is the best troll. He totally is.
Whataboutthemoonz, you are now in the club but we don’t send you a jacket. Rather, be on the lookout for your black satin cape and lime green leotard, decorated with mammoths, alpha cock carousels, cupcakes, moldy bread, etc.
@sidestinkappleeye
Generally, the sausage becomes ungreasy, hardens, and is thrown in the bin.
The best course of action is to eat the sausage with relish, when it is still tender and flavoursome.
BUGGER!
I now crave the flavoursome meats of Italy.
Mmmm, proscuttio.
Perhaps he believes men are fine wine; slowly turning sour, bitter and toxic when exposed to heat, light and oxygen.
I think this guy’s been at the bread with the rye ergot in it.
http://www.apsnet.org/edcenter/intropp/lessons/fungi/ascomycetes/Pages/Ergot.aspx
If you, like I, have trouble keeping the two virulently misogynist PUA guys whose names begin with R straight, remember this simple rule:
Roissy (now Heartiste) is the one who, judging by his writing, date-rapes drunk women and calls it sex.
Roosh is the one who, judging by his writing, has never had any form of sex in his life.
I’m sure it’s just his bad writing and not a reflection of reality. I mean, a guy in his thirties who has publicly devoted his life to trying to get laid has got to have had sex at some point, right? It’s not that difficult. But then you read his posts, and they have so many bizarre bags-of-sand moments–for example, declaring that puberty starts at 18, women hit their hotness peak in high school (honey, you realize the sexy high-schoolers on TV are all played by twentysomethings, right?), and 30-year-old women are so dessicated that it is literally impossible to enjoy having sex with them–you have to wonder if he’s ever seen a woman at all, let alone naked.
And these guys sell themselves as dating gurus. I need to get into that racket. Except that I would give advice that actually gets you laid, and then I’d lose all my clients.
I can offer some dating advice. “Try not to be a complete asshole.” It’s worked for me.
Manboobzers:
“Rock ‘n’ Roll is almost entirely quintessentially male.”
Please discuss.
This is not remotely feminist, but PUA guru Ben Franklin knows where it’s at:
http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html
Cloudiah, I can’t even with the rock-n-roll guy. I knew I was reading assdata, but when he said “Kurt Cobaine [sic] said it’s better to burn out than fade away,” that cemented it for me.
Also straight and white.
The way I heard it, it’s another manifestation of the dominant group defining the best way to do something as the way they do it. So on the one hand, types of music other people make or listen to get defined as inferior (pop) or morally suspect (think how much more flak rap takes than rock). And on the other hand, white dudes (producers, talent scouts) are the gatekeepers of rock and can keep it a boys’ club.
Hey, I’m turning 24 today! How nice to know I have exactly one year left of freshness. I was starting to feel not so fresh, and the MRM controls the market on douches.
Did someone say Kurt Cobane?
Happy Birthday, Amnesia! Enjoy your last year of freshness.
I think someone did say Kurt Co-Bane.
Thanks, hellkell. Guess I better start stocking up on Mentos.
Tulgey, someone’s got to autotune that video to the tune of “Video Killed the Radio Star.”
I read a discussion along these lines on Whataboutthemenz, and didn’t quite get it… I think we’re looking at some cultural differences here.
Regarding rock/pop, the whataboutthemenz discussion made me realise I don’t really know what “pop” means in the US. Here, it means music that’s a bit softer than rock. But it seems like it means more or less electronic dance music to Americans? If you take the former definition of pop it definitely doesn’t get taken less seriously than rock. The latter definition, yes, it’s been looked down upon, though I think that’s slowly changing. But I think that’s because people generally value what they see as “authenticity”. Writing your own lyrics and music. Traditionally, lots of dance music was made by demon producers, the artists merely performed what someone else had created, and was thus not taken seriously as artists. Nowadays we have people like lady Gaga who does everything herself, and does get taken much more seriously than, say, Britney Spears or a boyband. Pet Shop Boys always did everything themselves, and were always considered “real artists”, while being gay and doing dance music.
What I want to say is that I don’t think there’s this kind of causation: Music genre with lots of women and queers in it -> taken less seriously.
Rather the causation looks like this: Gonna be a real artist rather than just a mouthpiece for someone else -> you better be a straight dude (although this is beginning to change).
Yes please, boycott feminists, MRAs!
Every time I read stuff like this RooshV post I start feeling a bit uncomfortable about my own relationship, which I’m not normally uncomfortable about despite our age difference (I worked that kink out years ago). I would rather not have anything these guys consider “ideal” to my life. But alas, I try to forget them and continue being happy, also about the fact my partner finds MRAs ridiculous. As do all my male friends, for that matter…
I prefer guys who older than me cause they generally know what they are doing. I’m pretty inexperienced and I enjoy having a partner that can teach me things.
I don’t understand why a men wouldn’t want a woman who knew what she was doing.