On his newish blog Return of Kings, pickup-guru-turned-philosopher Roosh V has come up with yet another way to justify his creepy obsession with women a lot younger than his hairy self: he compares them with loaves of bread.
When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)
When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)
If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)
If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)
The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.
Well, that was creepy as fuck.
Also, he seems a bit confused about when puberty actually happens. Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.
Eww.
More likely grammar school or middle school since puberty strikes at about 12. Unless they are talking about women as baby bakeries and then just ew.
Yes, you can chop off the mouldy bits and eat the rest.
In the analogy – you can only eat a loaf of bread once, after that it’s gone. What’s that about re people?
Maybe this is just my toxic mold talking, but I’m glad to be 41 and have zero fucks to give about what a not-so-young dude thinks about women. He’s gonna be 40 soon, lurking around the clubs being THAT GUY. THAT GUY is pathetic.
Uh Oh! T minus 1 month and I’m officially 25 year old hard bread. Wah wah.
Probably has something to do with if too many people eat the bread its gone faster, or something similarly slutshamey.
[Cont.]
I don’t think someone who compares women to common food objects sees women as sapient… let alone people…
At the very least, I have to be a little grateful that I have just “left” the “fresh bread” age group. At least I can repel shitty guys like this with my ability to rent cars for less.
I see myself more as a Magic Pudding 😉
I am confused as to why some people view the world in a way which is clearly not in accordance with reality.
I guess I’m well into the moldy bread stage, being 35. :p
First time commenter here…
I thought that bread mold =penicillin. Which is awesome and has made the world a better, healthier place. But I probably just think that because I’m a moldy old 38 year old.
I assume that on some level they know that their viewpoint is unrealistic and unreasonable, and that’s why they get so angry when people point out that it’s not. That kind of ultra-defensive response to people going “you know, what you’re saying doesn’t seem quite right” is often a sign that the person knows on some level that what they’re choosing to believe isn’t true.
Also, stuff yourself with bread? I like bread, but I’d never “stuff myself” with it. Maybe meat or candy, but not bread.
The only things that should be stuffed with bread are turkeys and chickens. 🙂
Oh, wait…maybe that’s how these MRAs refer to themselves…turkeys and chickens. It would fit the whole ‘stuffing yourself with bread’ thing. *facepalm*
I see. . .in RooshV’s world you get a prize for turning 35. You don’t have to worry about him trying to interact with you. Win!
I would certainly consider it a win. 😀
The one way I can think of women and bread being alike is that Roosh does not care about the consent of either.
Hmmm what a problematic analogy. What about people who like toast or bruschetta? Where do croutons fit in this analogy? Does this include flat breads and tortillas?
Also should we be listening to someone who, by their own standards, is a piece of moldy bread?
Jesus fuck what projection! This much judgmental preoccupation with aging has more to do with his own fear of getting older and perceiving himself becoming worthless. God this guy hates himself. Moldy sickening bread at 36?!!
@Chuthlu’s Intern – I totally can stuff myself with bread. Fresh rye bread with a nice chewy crust? I could basically sit and eat an entire half a loaf of that toasted with butter in one shot. (I don’t, because it would probably leave me with indigestion, but I could.) Sourdough is excellent as well.
Shit, now I really want toast.
Let them eat cake!
I came across this recipe last night:
http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/02/cheddar-beer-and-mustard-pull-apart-bread/
It’s so going on my holiday baking list.
Perhaps he thinks of himself as fruitcake in this case. He think he’s sweet, but he’s really nutty, and is convinced HE’LL never age, unlike bread.
*thinks (gah, so much writing lately!)