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Innovative New “Bread” Metaphor Explains Why Most Women are “Stale” and “Moldy”

Some men are also Bread

On his newish blog Return of Kings, pickup-guru-turned-philosopher Roosh V has come up with yet another way to justify his creepy obsession with women a lot younger than his hairy self: he compares them with loaves of bread.

When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)

When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)

If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)

If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)

The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.

Well, that was creepy as fuck.

Also, he seems a bit confused about when puberty actually happens. Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.

Eww.

 

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Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Just dropping off a gross distortion of statistics straight from faux news that you might be interested in covering David (according to this woman, 1/3 of women wanting to get married is enough of a majority to make the claim that modern women want to get married as a whole). I just wrote a huge rant on it on facebook since commenting was disabled.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

That is so excellent, Jessay! One third of women want a successful marriage instead of indentured servitude. Less than a third of men still want women to live in indentured servitude.
Progress is slow but it is coming along.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Haha it ignores also people like myself and my boyfriend who have been together for 5 years but have no interest in getting married or having kids together, we just enjoy being together and need no ritual to prove that or seal our bond. This author probably considers me as “losing” in this equation because I MUST want marriage deep down in my lady brain.

Some Gal Not Bored At All
Some Gal Not Bored At All
11 years ago

@jose
Sorry to believe the worst, but I’ve seen the trolls around here and would rather be safe and apologize afterwards. 🙂

@Jessay
I think it is just straight out plagiarism in parts. The study is here from what I can tell. I think they cut and pasted. Also, they left out a lot of important information like that “very important” is considered completely different than “one of the most important.” So, lots of women want successful marriages. (Unsurprising, really. Lots of people get married and who wants an unsuccessful one?)

reymohammed
11 years ago

A good marriage is worth having; a bad one is worth a pitcher of warm spit; a marriage for which you are required to give up your hopes, your talents, your beliefs, your identity, your future, or your human dignity is ipso facto a bad marriage.

reymohammed
11 years ago

Pecuniam, there are also federal remedies available.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

I couldn’t read more than a paragraph before I wanted to [HOLY SHIT SEXUALIZED VIOLENCE]</blockquote

WTF made you think that was an OK thing to say?

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

Blockquotes failed me. Seriously, though, that was a fucked up thing to say.

Some Gal Not Bored At All
Some Gal Not Bored At All
11 years ago

Seriously fucked up. I crossed my legs when I read that. Holy shit.

reymohammed
11 years ago

Sorry, but the kind of woman who betrays women like that doesn’t deserve to be one.

reymohammed
11 years ago

Well, and to be specific, not an oppressed creature speaking out of brainwashing, but one as petted and privileged as that treacherous little bimbo.

ithiliana
11 years ago

@Reymohammed: seconding what others have said—and noting that I think many regular posters here try to avoid the rhetorical violence and misogynistic threats of the MRM, you know, like the fucked up thing you just said. I didn’t read the stuff (I often don’t follow links from here), but I don’t care about what fucked up thing a woman does, she doesn’t deserve that kind of threat. You can think it all you want, but I would rather you not spew that in this space–well, not unless you want to get moved into the category of troll.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

1) No one deserves to be raped, with a knife or anything else. And the idea that it’s OK to wish rape on women one disagrees with makes me really uncomfortable, because where does it end?
2) You can’t fight sexism with sexism, and what you posted was massively sexist.
3) You spewed violent rape imagery on a public message board. Did you even consider – or care – that you might trigger someone?

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

Well, and to be specific…

Steele?

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Regarding the ‘if there’s grass on the field…’ metaphor…

I hit puberty in the fifth grade. My mother, earlier. I know someone who hit puberty at the age of FIVE. (Metabolic issues.) The idea that puberty is some magical conferrer of adulthood is bollocks.

RE: reymohammad

Woooooooow. I’m so glad that my rape is in the past right now. Christ, dude, uncool.

Some Gal Not Bored At All
Some Gal Not Bored At All
11 years ago

What is up with thinking you can decide that someone doesn’t DESERVE to be a woman? There is no deserving it, you are or you aren’t and no one else has anything to do with it. WTF is up with doubling down on awfulness? Definitely trollish…

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Some Gal

I was under the impression that womanhood wasn’t something you could earn. It just WAS. Y’know. Like gravity.

Myoo
Myoo
11 years ago

@reymohammed
That shit you said was awful, what were you thinking? Also, what does “the kind of woman who betrays women like that doesn’t deserve to be one” mean? Is that a death threat or is it a “women are only women because of vaginas” thing, because either way it’s fucked up.

mssunlight
mssunlight
11 years ago

I use stale bread to make breadcrumbs, an essential ingredient in meatballs or when making a crunchy topping on cauliflower cheese. I can’t see that MRAs are useful for anything at all, in any circumstances, ever.

katz
11 years ago

So yeah, there’s a loooong history of it being considered okay to inflict violence (or wish violence) on women who don’t act the way you want. How about we don’t continue that? Remember, there are bound to be people to whom you fall on the wrong side of correct behavior.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

reymohammed, WHAT THE FUCK? What the fuck is wrong with you?

I wish I could be totally surprised, but my spidey sense was just waiting for this kind of fuck up.

Rahu
Rahu
11 years ago

@hellkell – sorry for replying late – I’ve been trying to help out a friend and it took way longer than expected. I was raised that if a man wants sex with a girl (of any age), then it’s his right. I’ve been trying to live in and understand the way that what I call “the outside world” works, since I’m trying to live in it now, and am working with a super great therapist, whom I’m afraid I keep shocking, but he’s great. However, he’s been gone for a few weeks with the hurricane here (NYC) plus Thanksgiving, so when I was getting squicky about my boss I turned to this advisor, basically expecting her to say “Oh, no, that’s wrong, he shouldn’t be doing that” and instead she got very vehement about how ethically it’s totally okay, so I got very confused and freaked and have been thinking about this since I talked with her on Wednesday. When the topic came up here on this site where I trust the non-trolls, I thought I’d ask, since it’s nice and anonymous and my boss (who wouldn’t come here anyway) can’t prove it’s me. That’s why I was asking. @Amnesia – yes, that’s a lot of it. Also just wondering, but mostly I asked because I was in a “wait, what’s right and what’s wrong???” mode and trust the people here.

hellkell – I’d like to believe that my thinking is getting progressively less wonky, but if my explanation here still troubles you, I’m very sorry and would greatly appreciate any guidance if you would care to offer it.

Sorry for the bother, but I really super appreciate the help from everyone!!! Thanks!!!

Some Gal Not Bored At All
Some Gal Not Bored At All
11 years ago

@Myoo
I didn’t even consider the vagina = woman thing. Is it wrong that I am actually hoping that it is a death threat and not transphobic and a threat of torture?

MargaretW
MargaretW
11 years ago

Essentially he wants to live next to a High school to ensure a steady supply of fresh “bread”? Creep.

pillowinhell
11 years ago

I don’t care what the hell reymohammed meant, that was a thousand shades of fucked up.

You know, I’ve read specific MRAs that have threatened women commenters (and regular ones who were supportive of them) with exactly that threat. For shame!