On his newish blog Return of Kings, pickup-guru-turned-philosopher Roosh V has come up with yet another way to justify his creepy obsession with women a lot younger than his hairy self: he compares them with loaves of bread.
When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)
When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)
If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)
If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)
The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.
Well, that was creepy as fuck.
Also, he seems a bit confused about when puberty actually happens. Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.
Eww.
So if we follow his bread analogy for men, we’ll find he’s only fit to toss out with the pig slops right?
mfw I read this post, omg
First line: “Ahahah ‘stuff yourself’, they’re really going there.”
Second line: “Do these dudes feel like this metaphor doesn’t work for men?”
Third line: “What is the mold in this metaphor, anyway? I don’t think this guy has thought this through very well.”
Fourth line: “Blah blah yes, women old enough to have gray hair are super gross and they make your boner sad, I feel for you buddy.”
Fifth line: O____________O WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
SERIOUSLY THOUGH what is he saying, he’s like, what, fuck your daughter? Live next to a middle school so you can grab ’em as soon as they’re ‘done’?????
ALL OF THE UGH
Wouldn’t the women be the ones stuffing themselves? I don’t understand this metaphor.
The comments sectIon of his own blog mocks his shitty analogy. Someone screen capture it, because I wouldn’t be surprised if it disappears.
And yes, someone pointed out when puberty starts and that it “makes him a p bear”.
That last line makes me want to call CPS.
I think what he means is “go live in countries that are not America or the UK”, though. Which is, um, well, he does realize that women get old in Thailand and Poland too, right?
So what’s a creepy older guy who hangs out near a bakery trying to fuck the fresh bread? Is it a stale croissant, or just a “sex offender”?
So I kind of want to do something to deliberately humiliate Rooshv, but he seems to be doing a fine job of doing that to himself.
Roosh has no shame.
Its more of the “she has tits so she’s fair game”. Which makes my ten yo a target.
@ Tulgey
It makes him old, inactive yeast.
Roosh gets no rise out of us!
Or himself according to what he’s written.
Ugh that is disgusting. Also pedophilic with the whole, puberty being warm bread thing. I know he said 18-24 but puberty is usually hitting girls these days at 12-14 not 18-24.
I think by “mold,” he must mean “self-respect and collection of life experiences that make it easier to see through asshats like this.” Not that 20somethings don’t have those, but it fits with the whole go-for-younger-women-because-they’re-easier-to-groom creepfest.
The “moral” makes me want to take a shower with bleach, then call the cops. Actually, the other way round.
Are we to believe that he is in that 18 to 24 category and considers himself tasty and delicious? Cuz I am kinda dubious. I wonder of MRAs think men come with an expiration date or if they view themselves as the consumers of all they survey.
Roosh really should title his blog “Notes From My Boner” and be done with it. Too bad no one cares, Roosh.
Bewilderness, I doubt that MRAs think men have expiration dates. They think men just get “distinguished” and shit.
Even his commenters think his analogy is stale.
… What is the ‘toaster’ in this analogy?
Manosphere types tend to go with the clichéd analogy of men with wine, which supposedly only gets better as it ages (based on my limited knowledge of watching the movie “Sideways,” I think it actually has a peak in quality at some point after brewing, after which it declines, but I don’t know). I guess this means that PUA is all about getting a bunch of bread real soggy with wine, which is at least an entertaining mental image.
FWIW, Roosh is apparently 33, though apparently men don’t get moldy, just women.
http://www.rooshv.com/bio
Wine really does not travel well, so if wine is the analogy for MRAs they should stay at home to stay delish. In a cool dark room, with the other whines.
So…what’s the bakery in this metaphor? A high school?
Manosphere dudes are like cheese and fine wine.
By which I mean they’re cheesy and whiny.
I think they’ve got staying in basements and wining with the other MRAs, PUAs, and MGTOWs completely covered at this point.
I’m pretty sure bread isn’t one of the foods that you can just chop the visibly moldy part off of and still eat. I hope he doesn’t actually do that.