Over on A Voice for Men, headquarters of the Greatest Super Awesome Human Rights Movement of the New Millennium, the regulars are troubled by those who make jokes and other unkind remarks about small penises, noting that this sort of body-shaming can wound the self-esteem of its targets and “has fostered a growing penis enlargement industry praying [sic] on young mens distorted perceptions of normality and worth.”
As a result, the AVFM regulars have vowed to set a higher standard of behavior for themselves, and not resort to easy body-shaming when arguing with, or talking about, women.
Ah, just kidding. They tried to see who could come up with the worst way to tell a woman she has a giant vagina.
Here are a few of the, er, standout comments from the discussion.
All these wonderful contributions inspired Kimski to suggest that AVFMenners should collect them together in a book titled “A 100 Ways To Fuck Their Shit Up.”
Gordius Knot expressed his distress that so many women seem to be ok with having cavernous “man-holes”:
Doc, meanwhile, offered some dating advice for men afraid of big vaginas:
Dr. F, meanwhile, offered these very confusing, er, observations:
If any of that makes sense to you, please let me know exactly what he’s on about here.
But, hey, at least the manly men at AVFM never resort to making disparaging remarks about the masculinity of other men, right? Oh, wait. (Then wait some more.)
I want to know how that works, too. Maybe their reasoning is like “If she’s having sex with me every day, that’s okay and the penis won’t ruin her. But if she has sex with other guys, then their penises will ruin her”. Then again, these are the same kinds of guys that will have sex with a woman, and then slut shame her for it right afterwards. “You had sex with me? Ew, you slut! Wait, why won’t you have sex with me again?”
I recall Obscurus Lupa making a small penis remark in the ‘Hercules in New York’ review, but that was to make Film Brain feel better about not being as muscular as the guys in the film. Don’t recall the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of, “Don’t worry. All that steroid use probably gives them tiny penises.”
That brings up another caveat. Do these guys think it’s all right for women to make tiny dick jokes if they’re doing it to make a guy nearby feel better about himself? Like telling a boyfriend that his rival at work is “compensating for something” after a bad day. Are such jokes acceptable in the service of male egos?
Reading the first paragraph: Well, they are right for once, only idiots care that much about penis sizes and comments about that are stupid as insults…
Reading the second paragraph: Oh no, something seems wrong and completely unfitting with this…
Reading the third paragraph: Well, of course…
Ah, now I know what a Flockiarte rug is. Er, big deal?
As to the whole big/small dick thing; most of us got over it in high school gym class. Ya got what ya got. But the whole body-shaming thing is universal I think. “You’re fat. You’re skinny. You’re short. You’re a scarecrow. Fattyfatfat. Stringbean. Pencilneck/pencildick.” Whatever, if you’re not a paragon of fillintheblank, you’re inadequate.
Take a healthy dose of fuckitall and move on.
(For the record, my high school nickname was Ichabod.)
Only slightly on topic, but many years ago I saw a comedian, I *think* it was Jenny Eclair, doing stand-up and she had a sketch about, “how come you always hear guys going on about how massive their dicks are, but you never hear women bragging about the size of their vaginas? Like, ‘I am woman, hear me roar!'” *holds microphone to crotch and tilts hand across mouth to fake ventriloquism* “‘RARRRRRHH!'”
(I thought it was funny, but I’m easily amused).
Actually, I find witty comebacks to insults much more amusing than witty (or ‘witty’) insults, but I never have the brass neck to use them in real life, so if the opportunity arises:
person: beshemoth, you have a huge vagina!
me: yes! Do not steal my seat, for if I do not notice, I might sit down on you and swallow you whole!… And then, not notice!
Eh. I should be thankful I don’t have the brass neck. Anyone got anything better?
Honestly, I can’t imagine any comeback more devastating than a furrowed brow and a slight head tilt.
My biggest question… Why does that pickle photo even exist?
(Also, I think small penises are hot.)
@katz: excellent advice for people who aren’t me, alas, I tried it in the mirror there and I look like Jasper Carrot.
Like this?
Finally, someone in the manosphere realizes that evolutionary psychology doesn’t really explain everything:
I mean, not perfect, but you could have a conversation with this guy, maybe. [cloudiah reads further.]
[cloudiah gently rests head on desk, resisting urge to give herself a concussion.]
I would think that for women, it would be somewhat useful to know the depth of the vagina instead of the width (because the width of the vagina can accomodate anything from a penis to a baby’s cranium as it passes down the birth canal during childbirth). I know that I have a “short” vagina, myself- I can’t use long toys all the way in without cervical pain. Most women have an average vaginal depth of about 4 inches. Obviously, this is “average”- but the “average” penis length is about 4 inches as well. Which means that on “average” you can find someone who is about compatible, but that’s not always a given thing.
Which is why I believe that if I were ever single again, I’d absolutely have to make sure that my spouse had compatible sexual equipment for the sex we were having and/or enjoyed the same sort of sexual play as I did.
Really, anyone who engages in body shaming of any sort (from size of genitals to size of body) is not someone I’d want to have sex with in the first place.
“But there was one thing he had that you haven’t got.”
“What’s that?”
“A GREAT BIG BUSHY VAGINA!”
I’m sorry, it was playing in my head ALL DAY.
ahahah well played, LBT.
You spartan!
@cloudiah – don’t you love the way he manages to combine classism (oh, those bestial lower orders!) with an implicit complaint that the middle and upper classes are so cruelly expected to, you know, not be bestial?
Lower classes not being Civilised = bad
Upper classes being Civilised = bad
Which, I suspect boils down to the usual MRM whine that he should be allowed to fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants, but nobody else should.
The penis enlargement industry has been around since at LEAST the 1800s, and probably since medicine has been a thing. I have a fascination for old medical devices and patent medicines, and one of the books I own on the subject shows a print ad for a penis pump from sometime in the late 19th century. The text notes they were rare because they had glass tubes, and were prone to shattering under vaccuum. Scary when you consider this was before safety glass was invented.
That’d make a great curse for using on MRAs here … may your pump tube shatter.
No idea why I expected them to understand female anatomy and it’s response to arousal any more than what they’ve displayed in these comments. I should really set the bar lower shouldn’t I?
I hate the whole women with big vagina thing. I also hate the fascination with virgins. I hate many things.
Men can have lots of sex, but women can’t applies to both of those statements.
This is slightly off-topic, but I just noticed that Rori’s annual Top 100 Sex Blogs list featured a “Take the red pill” -blog, http://marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/ It was 25th! It is not as obviously bad as the manosphere blogs usually featured here, but it’s just a red pill in nicer package. Are the manosphere ideas going mainstream? Oh horrors.
I thought of the sex blogger community as a fairly sex-positive one, and Rori’s list seems to be fairly big deal. I don’t know what is going on…
http://www.betweenmysheets.com/top-100-sex-bloggers-of-2012
You vastly misrepresent the article and then post a bunch of comments, which are matched in their eloquence or relevance by most of the comments on this website (see: not the most PC, nice, or thought-out words that humans have ever written.). Anyway, just wanted you to know that someone saw through what you did.
Oh Alan, you silly boy…. Tell us how it was misrepresented? Explain to us how your penetrating wisdom saw though it.
Enlighten us, rather than just sticking out your tongue and saying, “you’re WRONG!”
Just wanted you to know that someone saw through what you did.
Alan, just wanted you to know that you are not the rhetorical giant you seem to think you are.
If we had the “there is such a thing as too big” conversation do you think it would blow their minds?
A friend of mine once told me about a date that was about to end in sex, then promptly didn’t once pants hit the floor and she got a look at him. “Like a Coke can” she said. And we both nodded sympathetically.
Bagelsan – yeah, same thing happened to a friend of mine. One look at him and she said, “Don’t think you’re getting anywhere near me with that!”
I’ve always preferred the “It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it” theory. 🙂