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“Wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes,” and other actual PUA.txts

Old School PUA.txt

There’s a new blog out there that I think a lot of you will appreciate. I would say “enjoy,” but your enjoyment of it will no doubt alternate with despair over the future of the human race. Which makes it sort of like this blog!

Anyway, the blog is called PUA.txt, and, as the name suggests, it features horrible quotes taken from forums and other websites where would-be pickup artists like to congregate.

My favorite quote, of all those featured there, is probably this exceedingly whiny one from The Venusian Arts forum, in which a PUA by the name of Rick Tiero defends another commenter who refers to women as sluts. While other PUAs there are annoyed by the slut basher – because calling women “sluts” makes them defensive and less likely to want to have sex with PUAs — Rick has a different take. Addressing himself to one of the forum’s few female members, he writes:

Don’t try to judge him, you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through. Stuff like that can come from fucked up parents or even kindergardens that forcefeed small boys with religion and evil feminist propaganda, totaly destroying someones sexlife in the later years.

Of all the guys in here, very few are here by choice. You feminists have created spank for your own ass by compromising genderoles for ages now, don’t bitch about it. You women ruined our fun first by being a somewhat moral police yourselves! It is called bad karma.

No man wants to do whats wrong with women, they have been taught wrong by a society in genderless chaos created by the feminist movement, a movement so selfish and evil that I like to compare it to the new age nazis. In this society women are expected to not show body because a man is supposed to like her for her personality, like a woman likes a man.

It is doomed to fail, because people are not built that way. I bet OP has seen alot of porn and wouldn’t mind fucking all of the women in that room, even the fattie, bacause it’s nice for a change. Deep inside of him there is a good PUA just waiting to surface anytime soon.

And you women should really be more understanding to prude men! Put your self in my shoes! I can search for vegetables on the internet and find “Gorgeous teen playing with a cuecumber” And for me being a guy, that is something I’d like to watch!

Man! I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it. It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes. In the local park they have made this figure of a naked woman, but it’s made of stone. You women don’t have to go through any of that.

Yep, that’s right, it’s that old argument: Sexy women oppress men with their sexiness!

The most horrifying comment I’ve found on PUA.txt so far is probably this one from RooshV’s forum about the pros and cons of having sex with disabled women:

Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one.

There’s also a PUA.txt twitter account, which features still more horrible quotes. (I only wish it provided links to the sources of the quotes like the blog does.) Here are some of its greatest hits so far.

PS: Do any of you ladies know where the nearest bank is? I need to drop off some gold.

 

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Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

@aworld

I really want Jaffa Cakes now but it’s 3am here… *chanting JaffaJaffaJaffaJaffa*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LBT – I totally identify that way too, and it always annoys me when “monogamous” is assumed to mean either “serially monogamous” or “faithful to one person but feeling primary sexual attraction to others.” There’s only been one person for me in thirty years, and nobody else is more than aesthetically pleasing. And yeah, pffft to the whole “you’re missing out” assumptions. I Don’t Think So.

Actually my girlfriend (visiting from LA last week) and I talked about this and she came up with a great term – Extreme Monogamy! Works for me. 🙂

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

X-TREME MONOGAMY: There can only be one.

COMING JANUARY 2013

(flame visuals, loud sub-Motorhead rock music)

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

Wow, that sounds so nineties comics. XTREEEEEM MONO! Makes it sound badass.

And speaking of partners, my anniversary is coming up! Also hubby’s birthday. We plan on cake and going to see Wreck-It-Ralph. Dammit, our budget might be lower than some people’s grocery bills, but WE WILL MAKE IT ROMANTIC.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@LBT

I was thinking a late-’90s pro-wrestling sort of thing. Very similar, really.

katz
12 years ago

Hi LBT!

I was doing a word sprint but then my cat sat on my lap and started playing with my sweater cords and made my feet fall asleep and now she’s purring so I feel bad about getting up.

The make-fun-of-nano thing reminds me of People of Walmart or blogs that make fun of Twihards. It’s just mocking people who act in a harmless way that doesn’t appeal to you.

Why are there so many November-specific fads/events/whatever? There’s No-Shave November, No-Fap November, National Novel Writing Month, Movember, Nothing But Black Metal November…

Also Nosevember.

When I was younger I used to think the orange filling in Jaffa Cakes was called the ‘Jaffa’…

NOOO DON’T EAT TEAL’C!

If the twinkie’s a thing of the past now, is gay slang going to have to evolve?

Nah, it’ll be like Spam. The term will outlive the product.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

I can definitely imagine a grizzled-looking and unreasonably muscular couple in their late 40’s covered in pouches and bandoliers standing in impossible poses while holding hands and visiting the tree they carved their initials into at 19 together though.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

…You can’t get Spam anymore? I’ve never seen it, but I just assumed you couldn’t get it over here. I’m personally irrationally fond of a crappy luncheon meat which gets called devon here but baloney or luncheon in various other places.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

SPAM!

I love Spam.

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

SPAM DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE? D8

Aw, now I’m depressed.

RE: katz

Hi kaaaaaatz. And yeah, I will mock things I don’t like. (See, 50 Shades of Grey) but the idea of mocking the people who LIKE it is just… why would I do that? That’s just douchey. I admit, the idea that folks might think that kind of relationship is really honest-to-god True Love, that makes me D:, but still, why would MOCKING them improve anything?

RE: lowquacks

…time to draw that! (If I can Dali my style enough to force something even semi-Liefeldian.)

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Spam exists, fear not. Spam, Spam Lite, Spam with cheese, and Spam with bacon.

Noadi
12 years ago

You can absolutely get spam still but it’s far from a popular product (except in Hawaii which is weird) but the web term has far eclipsed the actual product so that were spam to no longer exist it would continue.

aworldanonymous
12 years ago

I think I want to be in a relationship, but I just kind of don’t know how. Fucking mind-blindness.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

Spam fritters. I used to love them, then I went off them, and now I want some, except maybe they would be a bad idea. Nostalgia always tastes better in the brain.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Mr. HK says the reason Spam is so popular in HI (where he grew up) has to do with the large number of soldiers there during WWII.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
12 years ago

Fuck Tumblr. It’s for three things- feminist warrior dipshittery, Twilight/Lautner worshipping, and “cute overload” type crap that stops being cute after the first forty billion cats.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

Hey, tumblr’s a big place.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

Dude. Dude. Dude. Tumblr’s all about Benedict Cumberbatch. And the hilarious wacky self-loathing of Robert Pattinson and his desire to have an elephant for a house.

katz
12 years ago

OK, bad example. You can still get spam.

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Thermos H. Christ

Actually, as an artist, I use it as a sort of visual bookmarks for awesome art references so I can have them all in one place.

Also to keep track of various folks in the indy comics scene I know and other art creators who I like to see the work of.

I just keep the politics out of it. And the fandom.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
12 years ago

Tumblr’s a big place, and it’s just a vast expanse of frozen winter shit. I don’t think I’ve seen a single good Tumblr blog, ever. It also seems to somehow encourage shitty writing, because there are a ton of internet bloggers and whatever with deleted or abandoned Tumblrs because they made gigantic asses of themselves on the platform.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Well someones full of sunshine and rainbows!

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

Got a bit of a Marshall McLuhan here, have we?

CassandraSays
12 years ago

This makes me want to go out in the most nipple-tastic bra and shirt I own, just to piss guys like that off.

“are you not musking? you can’t STD (seal the deal) without a rich, evocative musk. women’s libidos are virtually 99% pheromones.”

Oh, great, so they’re not content to be offensive to both the eyes and the ears, they insist on smelling awful too?

Also, I’m with pillowinhell. If advertisers suddenly decided to festoon my neighborhood with billboards full of hot scantily clad men I would enjoy the view, not piss and moan about their evil abs mocking me.

I’d have thought most people (if they’d heard of demisexual at all) would think “becoming sexually attracted to someone only after forming a relationship” was pretty much part of the basic sexual spectrum, be it homosexual, heterosexual or anything else. I was sort of surprised to see it referred to as something separate.

Yeah, the idea that this isn’t part of the mainstream in terms of how sexuality works is baffling to me. I feel like a lot of people who’re asexual in an activist sense have a rather odd idea of how not-asexual people go about things, in terms of how our patterns of attraction work and how we end up hooking up with people. I mean, for me physical attraction always precedes a relationship in the sense that I wouldn’t be willing to get into a relationship if it wasn’t there, but I know plenty of people who say they don’t really look at anyone and think “I want to fuck hir” until they get to know the person, and even for me my perception of the person will change based on getting to know them, and so will whether or not I’m attracted to them (ie I can initally think someone is super hot, talk to them for a while, and then end up not feeling attracted to them any more).

katz
12 years ago

Thermos, do you see the irony of responding to mean-spirited mockery on Tumblr with mean-spirited mockery of Tumblr?