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“Wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes,” and other actual PUA.txts

Old School PUA.txt

There’s a new blog out there that I think a lot of you will appreciate. I would say “enjoy,” but your enjoyment of it will no doubt alternate with despair over the future of the human race. Which makes it sort of like this blog!

Anyway, the blog is called PUA.txt, and, as the name suggests, it features horrible quotes taken from forums and other websites where would-be pickup artists like to congregate.

My favorite quote, of all those featured there, is probably this exceedingly whiny one from The Venusian Arts forum, in which a PUA by the name of Rick Tiero defends another commenter who refers to women as sluts. While other PUAs there are annoyed by the slut basher – because calling women “sluts” makes them defensive and less likely to want to have sex with PUAs — Rick has a different take. Addressing himself to one of the forum’s few female members, he writes:

Don’t try to judge him, you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through. Stuff like that can come from fucked up parents or even kindergardens that forcefeed small boys with religion and evil feminist propaganda, totaly destroying someones sexlife in the later years.

Of all the guys in here, very few are here by choice. You feminists have created spank for your own ass by compromising genderoles for ages now, don’t bitch about it. You women ruined our fun first by being a somewhat moral police yourselves! It is called bad karma.

No man wants to do whats wrong with women, they have been taught wrong by a society in genderless chaos created by the feminist movement, a movement so selfish and evil that I like to compare it to the new age nazis. In this society women are expected to not show body because a man is supposed to like her for her personality, like a woman likes a man.

It is doomed to fail, because people are not built that way. I bet OP has seen alot of porn and wouldn’t mind fucking all of the women in that room, even the fattie, bacause it’s nice for a change. Deep inside of him there is a good PUA just waiting to surface anytime soon.

And you women should really be more understanding to prude men! Put your self in my shoes! I can search for vegetables on the internet and find “Gorgeous teen playing with a cuecumber” And for me being a guy, that is something I’d like to watch!

Man! I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it. It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes. In the local park they have made this figure of a naked woman, but it’s made of stone. You women don’t have to go through any of that.

Yep, that’s right, it’s that old argument: Sexy women oppress men with their sexiness!

The most horrifying comment I’ve found on PUA.txt so far is probably this one from RooshV’s forum about the pros and cons of having sex with disabled women:

Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one.

There’s also a PUA.txt twitter account, which features still more horrible quotes. (I only wish it provided links to the sources of the quotes like the blog does.) Here are some of its greatest hits so far.

PS: Do any of you ladies know where the nearest bank is? I need to drop off some gold.

 

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LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Thermos H. Christ

…*cocks head* That’s a bit of a generalization, ain’t it? And I say this as someone who avoids the vast majority of tumblr.

I mean, I found art reference for water balloon physics on there, plus body types of various major league athletes! That’s tough to find!

2-D Man
2-D Man
8 years ago

A cuecumber is a difficult-to-deliver line that immediately precedes “[CHARACTER] ENTERS STAGE LEFT”

With regard to Movember, I’m looking forward to Decembeard and subsequently, Januhairy.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

Dude, as much as I abhor a certain segment of the social justice crowd of tumblr who take things WAY too far, I like a lot of fandom blogs. Also, I thought the English Bishounen du jour was currently Tom Hiddleston.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Actually I’ve been thinking that Thermos the Dour might be a returning troll who’s been asked to go away many times. Has some of his tells.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@2-D Man

I’d seen “Manuary” in that joke before, but Januhairy’s good. Less gender-essentialist. Feb-you’re-hairy and Moustarch came after, of course.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

I saw shelves full of Spam this very day. Woolworths (aka Safeway) supermarkets. It must be pretty mainstream here if that lot stock it. 😛

Gah, now I have the Spam sketch going through my head. Lovely Spam, wonderful Spam …

LBT, happy anniversary and happy birthday!

Kitty derail: just got Fribbie’s blood test results back. She’s got hyperthyroidism, but it’s not too bad. Tablets twice a day for her from now on! I’m very relieved that it’s something treatable. Weight loss and the rest are worrying at her age.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE; CassandraSays

…I really hope this isn’t who I thought.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

The point is that the shitheap known as Tumblr doesn’t fill any particular niche except for, apparently, vacuous dumbasses and self-righteous cretins to pontificate on their particular hobbyhorses, whatever those may be. It’s sort of like the iTampon that way.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Cassandra, I was thinking that the other day.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Thermos, you’re not fooling anyone.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

I’ll relay the well wishes! And thanks, I’m glad. It’s been a very rough year, so I’m happy to have something to celebrate.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Imma let you finish, but neither Hiddleston nor Cumberbatch, sexy as they are, are pretty enough to qualify as bishounen. If you want “pretty boy” and “British” I’d vote for Andrew Garfield or James McAvoy.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

Twinkies will still be manufactured and sold. They vulture capitalists are parting out Hostess and selling off the bits. They may not be able to run a business but they sure do know how to cook ande eat up every bite and boil down the bones for soup.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Do we mean the person who was fond of a certain heavyish US hipster novelist and a particular fantasy series?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Thermos H. Christ

We get it. You don’t like tumblr. Don’t worry, there’s a whole wide expanse of Internet Elsewhere you can play on. How about you enjoy your part of the Internet, and we enjoy ours, and everybody’s happy?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Also, Spam exists in stores here, it just isn’t very popular. The only time I’ve eaten it since childhood was as Spam musubi in Hawaii.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

Which troll is thermos again? Or is he one of the ones from before I started commenting?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: lowquacks

The guy who couldn’t let go and had been coming and going during like, my whole first six months here? And took a bajillion socks and couldn’t understand why we kept banning him?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

::raises imaginary glass of champagne in genuine toast to LBT & husband::

Cassandra, exactly! It kind of comes as a surprise to me to think of people going straight to “I’d bed that person” without any thought of what they’re like – not in fantasy, but in real life, actually seeing a stranger that way. It’s so different from my perspective I can’t quite get my head around it – and when I first read about it felt decidely squicky: “Geez I hope nobody ever thought about me that way! Ewwww!” 😀

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

@katz, my mockery of Tumblr is hard truth, not mockery. Truth equals respect for the person you’re talking to. Tumblr is literally the scourge of the Internet, and the more people here the message, the better.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Sow night at BU, Thermos?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

^slow

cloudiah
8 years ago

My (from Hawaii) coworker makes Spam sushi!

Hey, it’s LBT. [waves]

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Thermos

The LITERAL scourge?

Aw, come on! You act like you’ve never seen 4chan or g0ys.org or something…

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

Like this PUA.txt, why does it have to be on Tumblr? It could work just as well on Blogspot. They’re contributing to a feculent shithole.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

I continue to be amazed at the amount of pure truth I am exposed to on internet comment threads these days. Truly amazed.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Spam musubi is pretty damn good.

Lowquacks: HA! Yes.

cloudiah
8 years ago

And happy anniversary!

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

Thermos, I’m pretty sure 4chan is the scourge of the internet, hell, even they admit that they are.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: cloudiah

I know, right? I dropped off the face of the earth for a while. I’ll probably drop off again, but I thought I’d come by and say hello, chat with my old peoples a bit.

I’m a working artist now! 😀 A very poor one, but hey, lemme dream.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Happy anniversary, and congrats on the paid art gig, LBT.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

LOL. 4chan *wishes* that they were the scourge of the Internet. They’re actually a bunch of poseurs. I wouldn’t even put them at the same level as MySpace, much less Tumblr.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Hasn’t gotten any more interesting, has he?

@ kittehs

Thing is, I do know people who will quite happily fuck complete strangers. I also know people who can be attracted to complete strangers, but need to get to know them before deciding whether or not they want to fuck them, and people who don’t really seem to get that enthused about anyone physically until they get to know them better, since their attraction patterns seem to be based more on personality than on looks. I’ve always considered all of those to be fairly standard and common types of sexual expression, so it’s a bit confusing to find that some people consider some of those to be asexual. According to some AVEN stuff I’ve seen I’d qualify as kind of maybe asexual, which is pretty funny given the way that I respond to men who are my type and my sexual history. Like, I definitely don’t feel asexual, but if the definition of “sexual” is being taken to be “will fuck any conventionally attractive person who they lay eyes on without needing to get to know that person at all” then I guess? I think that this indicates some issues with the way this stuff is being defined.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Poseurs? Tell me, Thermos, are they worse than people who ignore boundaries and use sockpuppets to post where they’ve been told repeatedly they’re not welcome?

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

“Which troll is thermos again? Or is he one of the ones from before I started commenting?”

Haven’t trolled for a while now, but it was under this nym.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Thermos

4chan… attacked SCIENTOLOGY. Tumblr has… what? Existed and annoyed people? C’mon.

RE: Hellkell

Thank you! I’m pretty psyched. I’m trying to work my way out of my current (kinda bamboozling) housing situation, (I live in a closet! It’s a triangle and I insulated it myself with a staplegun!) but that’s another a whole other story.

RE: CassandraSays

While I am pretty invested with my ace label, even though I inhabit a firm gray area. But then, I got shit for it, so there’s that.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

@LBT, 4chan’s attack on Scientology was a net positive. In their assholery they have achieved heroic acts. Tumblr has never done good for a single person.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

A suggestion – since David doesn’t seem to be around to ban our returning troll yet again, maybe we should just ignore him. It’s not like he’s a fascinating conversationalist.

Congratulations on the job+anniversary, LBT!

Pear_tree
Pear_tree
8 years ago

I don’t really get Tumblr. The whole microblogging thing has passed me by. I think it is probably a significant change in communication but it seems so un-interactive compared to most of the current Internet. Almost like individual galleries referencing each other.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

I concur, congrats LBT.

Sporklift
8 years ago

See, I think that there’s a problem with the PUA record. What if the college girl in the library is attractive but not busty? And what if the dark-haired sexy swinger is just walking down the street? And the Tall Pretty Blond is in the swinger’s club? Does it cover those situations? I mean, it just seams like there’s parts missing here. It seems like there’d be more than 40 minutes of material.

Also, it is sad that I can’t tell which not-welcome sockpuppeting troll it is, because there’s more than one here.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Ignore the troll and give me congratulations instead?

I am totally okay with this decision! 😀

(Also, hubby wants to see Wreck-it-Ralph. Anybody seen it, and if so, is it good?)

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

Microblogging, that’s the word. It doesn’t work. You’ve got Twitter and Facebook statuses for pooping and sandwich eating, and then blogs. Like Twitter and shit, microblogging encourages unprofessionalism and generally dipshittery, but the form is also long enough to express some semi-complex opinion. So presto, Tumblr! Uninformed bullshit!

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Thermos, Thermos, you’re supposed to be congratulating me on my anniversary! Come on, join the party! There’s cake!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I’ve been on a Netflix tear and not seeing movies in theaters recently, sorry.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

I need to get money so that I can buy my books for next semester and the ingredients for a cake for a friend’s birthday.

Thermos H. Christ
Thermos H. Christ
8 years ago

Yes that’s pretty nice, LBT. What type of artistry do you do?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Cake for everyone!

And I make educational mental health comics and draw pretty much whatever people pay me to do. My patron at the moment is a geek podcaster. It’s pretty awesome!

Pear_tree
Pear_tree
8 years ago

Congratulations LBT.

I can understand rejecting new forms of communication. However I think given that we live in a society where business values communication. Thermos you must be old enough to be content with not maintaining employability but while I don’t understand micro-blogging I think it is important and worth exploring. I think it is one of the least self focused concepts on the Internet. For example fandom pages won’t be about how much you love X but how great X is. Its an odd tool, I’d have no idea how to use it.