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“Wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes,” and other actual PUA.txts

Old School PUA.txt

There’s a new blog out there that I think a lot of you will appreciate. I would say “enjoy,” but your enjoyment of it will no doubt alternate with despair over the future of the human race. Which makes it sort of like this blog!

Anyway, the blog is called PUA.txt, and, as the name suggests, it features horrible quotes taken from forums and other websites where would-be pickup artists like to congregate.

My favorite quote, of all those featured there, is probably this exceedingly whiny one from The Venusian Arts forum, in which a PUA by the name of Rick Tiero defends another commenter who refers to women as sluts. While other PUAs there are annoyed by the slut basher – because calling women “sluts” makes them defensive and less likely to want to have sex with PUAs — Rick has a different take. Addressing himself to one of the forum’s few female members, he writes:

Don’t try to judge him, you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through. Stuff like that can come from fucked up parents or even kindergardens that forcefeed small boys with religion and evil feminist propaganda, totaly destroying someones sexlife in the later years.

Of all the guys in here, very few are here by choice. You feminists have created spank for your own ass by compromising genderoles for ages now, don’t bitch about it. You women ruined our fun first by being a somewhat moral police yourselves! It is called bad karma.

No man wants to do whats wrong with women, they have been taught wrong by a society in genderless chaos created by the feminist movement, a movement so selfish and evil that I like to compare it to the new age nazis. In this society women are expected to not show body because a man is supposed to like her for her personality, like a woman likes a man.

It is doomed to fail, because people are not built that way. I bet OP has seen alot of porn and wouldn’t mind fucking all of the women in that room, even the fattie, bacause it’s nice for a change. Deep inside of him there is a good PUA just waiting to surface anytime soon.

And you women should really be more understanding to prude men! Put your self in my shoes! I can search for vegetables on the internet and find “Gorgeous teen playing with a cuecumber” And for me being a guy, that is something I’d like to watch!

Man! I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it. It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes. In the local park they have made this figure of a naked woman, but it’s made of stone. You women don’t have to go through any of that.

Yep, that’s right, it’s that old argument: Sexy women oppress men with their sexiness!

The most horrifying comment I’ve found on PUA.txt so far is probably this one from RooshV’s forum about the pros and cons of having sex with disabled women:

Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one.

There’s also a PUA.txt twitter account, which features still more horrible quotes. (I only wish it provided links to the sources of the quotes like the blog does.) Here are some of its greatest hits so far.

PS: Do any of you ladies know where the nearest bank is? I need to drop off some gold.

 

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pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Kladle, I’m not sure if LBT explained his life here or not. I was aware of LBTs’ family, but you may have just outed LBT in a forum he wasn’t comfortable in being that open in. Which is an asshole thing to do. Same as implying that LBTs reason for being happy isn’t legit.

Seconding Violas sod off.

David, if you’re around you may want to do something about Kladles post.

Dvärghundspossen
12 years ago

@Kitten: You’re right, it would probably be better if we stopped labelling so much and just accepted that people vary a lot.

And it would probably be considered weird in Sweden as well to be a grown-up single woman and just not interested in sex (I say probably, because it’s not something I’ve really encountered since I was slutting around a lot before I settled down with Mr Dvärghundspossen). But when I was a teen, it was definitely a lot of “wait until it feels right, don’t let the horny boys pressure you”, and “feels right” was supposed to coincide with “finding true love” (when you’re a teen????). So I guess there’s some sort of shift as one moves from teen to adult.

kladle
kladle
12 years ago

LBT’s name links to his DeviantArt which explains his multiplicity and has his multiplicity activist materials on it, as well as information about all of his identities. He’s probably one of the most well known multiple systems on the internet. I’ve not “outed” him.

I just find it incredibly disingenuous for him to present himself and his husband as a queer married couple with children when the issues he faces as someone with a partner and children in his head are completely different from the issues someone with a living, breathing partner and children have. LBT is poor for example, but he doesn’t have to worry about feeding his children or paying for day care. He won’t have to worry about taking a shitty job in order to get his husband on his health insurance, which may or may not be possible because his marriage might not be legally recognized.

I don’t begrudge you wishing him a happy anniversary. You all just need to know the nature of the marriage, and that when he says he’s in a gay relationship or has children, that he means something completely different than what most people mean.

pillowinhell
pillowinhell
12 years ago

Wait wut? What you’re saying Kladle is that you get to ignore LBTs’ reality simply because it does not reflect most peoples assumptions.

So what if LBT doesn’t worry about daycare? A lot of partners in meatspace never worry about daycare becaue someone else takes care of it. As for health insurance, I live in Canada, that’s not generally a worry.

Look, people get to describe and chose their family configurations for themselves. LBTs family is a little unusual, but its his family. I think the real issue is how would LBT cope and feel if one of his family members died or suffered a trauma. Probably similar to anyone else, therefore family.

lumi
lumi
12 years ago

You can’t have it both ways, kladle. Either:

A. LBT is completely open about his life and can’t really be outed, OR

B. LBT is misrepresenting himself and it’s important for people to know the truth

(As a long-time lurker who only knows anything about LBT from reading his comments on this blog, I was aware of his situation and have been for some time)

More to the point, there was nothing occurring in the discussion where it could possibly have mattered what people knew about LBT. Which does make it look like you just posted that so people didn’t think they were accidentally congratulating a “real” couple.

lumi
lumi
12 years ago

*didn’t think they were congratulating

(this is why I lurk, commenting is hard)

I also want to make clear that I am not saying that I think LBT’s relationship isn’t real, or that it’s my place to judge the “realness” of people’s lived experiences.

Falconer
12 years ago

Thanks for explaining to me a situation I already knew, Kladle. I will now proceed to COMPLETELY IGNORE YOUR POST. LBT’s one of the first friends I made on the Boobz, and you don’t get to tell me how our relationship should go.

I believe LBT has talked about the nature of his husband and linked to his art on here before, but I haven’t seen him for months, long enough that I was starting to worry, and we have new people so I don’t know if he’s still comfortable.

I knew everything when I congratulated him on his anniversary and his husband’s birthday.

So LBT has only one mouth to feed on a starving artist’s income; isn’t that enough to warrant some well wishing?

Polliwog
Polliwog
12 years ago

I don’t begrudge you wishing him a happy anniversary. You all just need to know the nature of the marriage, and that when he says he’s in a gay relationship or has children, that he means something completely different than what most people mean.

Why?

I mean, honestly, why do we need to know that? What difference does it actually make to any of us?

I could sort of see your point if LBT were posting things like, “As a married gay man, I know everything about all the struggles gay men face, and am absolutely an authority on gay male issues, all of which I have personally experienced!” But he’s not, as far as I’ve seen, and as it stands, I’m not sure how what you’re doing is any different than making sure to point out, “Sue here is transgendered! Sue was not born with a vagina! I just thought you should know!” every time a trans woman calls herself a woman, because she “means something different” than many people would. I don’t care about Sue’s genitals, and I don’t care whether LBT’s marriage is “what most people mean.” Why should I?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Kladle: adding to the “So what and what business is it of yours?” messages. I knew nothing of LBT’s situation and what you’ve said doesn’t change my perception of it at all. My beloved Mr Kitteh is in Spirit and that doesn’t make him one whit less real, or our birthdays and anniversaries and the stuff we do together “imagination” or anything unreal, either. You don’t get to define other people’s life experiences that way, by implying this “physical” reality is the only one that counts.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

And how better than with a cute furry?

http://youtu.be/GWXKmbCh6Kc

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

@Kitteh

Aww, he does not want his bath, does he? *melts*

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

Damn, I vanish for a bit and become a comment thread. Guess this means I have to dig into my wallet and find my usual disclaimers… *sigh* and here I was just hoping to ship Thermos and Judgy and say hi to folks. (By the way… aw, Falconer. I didn’t want to make you worry. I’ve missed talking with you too! Also now remembering the demi D&D lingo–thanks a lot.)

Kladle, I thought you were here when I originally introduced myself on the forum. Though I’ve been gone for a while, and the newer/more lurkery commentariat might not know, I thought us being multi was fairly common knowledge. Like you said, it links in my name, and I linked art of Manjaw the Mighty (is that old battleaxe still around?). I don’t talk about it that often here just because… well, it’d be kinda presumptuous of me to commandeer the convo to explain My Multi Life wherever I went. And I get quite sick of being remarkable.

I just find it incredibly disingenuous for him to present himself and his husband as a queer married couple

*raises eyebrow* You would recommend me describing me and my husband’s relationship as…?

with children

I’ve never claimed to be representative of queer parents. I also haven’t mentioned it here since my recent return, since indeed, I recognize that my situation is highly anomalous. (I could elaborate, but why? I have a site for that, linked to my name.)

when the issues he faces as someone with a partner and children in his head are completely different from the issues someone with a living, breathing partner and children have.

I assure you, most of our system is quite alive, and presumably breathing. The word you’re looking for is ‘corporeal.’ Also, you seem to assume I am somehow more real than they are, which is decidedly not the case. I just talk here because nobody else is a fan of Manboobz.

LBT is poor for example, but he doesn’t have to worry about feeding his children or paying for day care.

Thank god! Life is hard enough right now! I already worry I’m doing a crap job doing what I do, at least I don’t have to worry about them starving to death.

He won’t have to worry about taking a shitty job in order to get his husband on his health insurance, which may or may not be possible because his marriage might not be legally recognized.

*sigh* *pulls out cue cards from wallet* Let’s see here… ah, there we are! *clears throat* “We of LBT are not intended to be representative of singlet queer parenting, marriage, or life. Indeed, it’s best we not be considered representative of anything except ourselves. If you have any questions, feel free to visit our site for more information, and if you can’t find it there, ask us directly.” *puts cards away* Ah good, glad to have that out of the way. Now, let’s get back to business! How many kids should Judgy and Thermos have together?

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

And oh wow, slab of text. Sorry guys.

And AW WOOKIT DA WIDDLE SNOOKUMS

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Nooooo! One thing Thermos and Judgy should not do is breed! We don’t need little Judgies and Thermoses* running around.

*Ancient Egyptian inventor of bottles?

drst
drst
12 years ago

@kladle – as someone who has a very close and dearly beloved friend who is a multiple, I just want to say: fuck you, you fucking snotty, whinging, empathy-free fuck.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
12 years ago

Speaking of trolls, when do we get to do Troll Of The Year again? I’m stuck between Pell for the Original Uncle Monty Thread and also for being the most fun and easy troll to spot, Steelebutt for his interesting contributions to the English language (interesting, not good) and Bloody Stupid Martin for “penguins are whores”.

By the way LBT, I didn’t say it earlier but congratulations to you and your husband. I don’t think I’ve spoken to you on here but I was lurking when you were last around and I’ve read your website.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Kladle, that was shitty. Deeply, deeply shitty.

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

RE: Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

Thermoses sounds like the reviled cousin of Diogenes. And of course, their kids would be called Judgey Thermos!

RE: thenatfantastic

Thanks! We plan to bake a cake and have a party. And who is this Steelebutt? I must have missed him. (Though oh, I remember Martin and Pell.)

Where is NWO, anyway? I haven’t seen him for like, three posts now. Don’t tell me our favorite misanthrope LEFT? He was a pillar of the community! An ANGRY pillar, blackened by fire and totally not weight-bearing, but still a pillar!

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

Thermos and Judgey should get married on a sulphur vent, then have a million beautiful penguins. They can be their biological or adoptive penguins.

Personally, I ship Steele and robot!Steele. Robot!Steele is basically Steele but concerned with the rights of robots to good (read: buttkissing) English teachers, on account of their faulty language programming.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
12 years ago

Steelebutt is Varpole/Steele/Torvus Butthorn. He has somewhat of a flair for the dramatic, calls everything ‘vile misandry’ (to the point of using it multiple times in a SENTENCE) and tries to buddy up to the other trolls. I can’t really describe him but watching him getting the vapours is a riot.

NWO got put on moderation and just kind of gave up. He still turns up to arglebargle occasionally but he’s really just phoning it in, and since he can’t respond in real time there’s been no more ‘super-dogs’.

…Although I don’t think he’s been spotted since the election, he might have finally gone Galt.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

I like to think he’s got a little deckchair and beach umbrella, sitting outside the White House, yelling about pretty much everything that pisses him off and how it’s all Obama’s fault, because Obama is a black jewish feminist gay slut princess or something.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
12 years ago

Maybe ‘the feminist police’ finally took away his computer and threw him in jail.

LBT
LBT
12 years ago

Hmmmm. Varpole rings a bell, but nothing is coming to mind. Pfah, I’m getting out of date, y’all! How sad is that?

And even though I never read any of his comments really, if I could, I would drink to the memory of NWOslave. Even though I never listened or read a word he said, he was a staple. Like the weevils in your flower. Though it sounds like after many years of loyal service, his glory days were sadly ended.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
12 years ago

Maybe he submitted all those 26-hour days he said he worked and his employer got suspicious.

Oh, and kladle? You may “hate” being rude, but you just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOve being an asshole. Fuck off.