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“Wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes,” and other actual PUA.txts

Old School PUA.txt

There’s a new blog out there that I think a lot of you will appreciate. I would say “enjoy,” but your enjoyment of it will no doubt alternate with despair over the future of the human race. Which makes it sort of like this blog!

Anyway, the blog is called PUA.txt, and, as the name suggests, it features horrible quotes taken from forums and other websites where would-be pickup artists like to congregate.

My favorite quote, of all those featured there, is probably this exceedingly whiny one from The Venusian Arts forum, in which a PUA by the name of Rick Tiero defends another commenter who refers to women as sluts. While other PUAs there are annoyed by the slut basher – because calling women “sluts” makes them defensive and less likely to want to have sex with PUAs — Rick has a different take. Addressing himself to one of the forum’s few female members, he writes:

Don’t try to judge him, you don’t know what the fuck he’s been through. Stuff like that can come from fucked up parents or even kindergardens that forcefeed small boys with religion and evil feminist propaganda, totaly destroying someones sexlife in the later years.

Of all the guys in here, very few are here by choice. You feminists have created spank for your own ass by compromising genderoles for ages now, don’t bitch about it. You women ruined our fun first by being a somewhat moral police yourselves! It is called bad karma.

No man wants to do whats wrong with women, they have been taught wrong by a society in genderless chaos created by the feminist movement, a movement so selfish and evil that I like to compare it to the new age nazis. In this society women are expected to not show body because a man is supposed to like her for her personality, like a woman likes a man.

It is doomed to fail, because people are not built that way. I bet OP has seen alot of porn and wouldn’t mind fucking all of the women in that room, even the fattie, bacause it’s nice for a change. Deep inside of him there is a good PUA just waiting to surface anytime soon.

And you women should really be more understanding to prude men! Put your self in my shoes! I can search for vegetables on the internet and find “Gorgeous teen playing with a cuecumber” And for me being a guy, that is something I’d like to watch!

Man! I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it. It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes. In the local park they have made this figure of a naked woman, but it’s made of stone. You women don’t have to go through any of that.

Yep, that’s right, it’s that old argument: Sexy women oppress men with their sexiness!

The most horrifying comment I’ve found on PUA.txt so far is probably this one from RooshV’s forum about the pros and cons of having sex with disabled women:

Yeah, I’m not even going to touch that one.

There’s also a PUA.txt twitter account, which features still more horrible quotes. (I only wish it provided links to the sources of the quotes like the blog does.) Here are some of its greatest hits so far.

PS: Do any of you ladies know where the nearest bank is? I need to drop off some gold.

 

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clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

Wait, first he complains that women aren’t supposed to show their bodies in this society and that men aren’t “made” to handle that, and then he complains about having to look at women’s bodies all the time?

Also, GENDERLESS CHAOS!

Also, also, I’m so glad that Allie didn’t draw alot of porn.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

Ah, PUA.txt. it was only a matter of time.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago
princessbonbon
12 years ago

@Clairedammit I really do not think consistency is their strong suit.

princessbonbon
12 years ago

That tumbler…oy.

If a girl says, “Get lost loser!” My brain processes that as sarcastic humor & I laugh. Then I come back with a comment & my own zinger…

Something such as: “Haha! WOW! that was COLD! Not bad…. Kinda feisty for a little girly dork.” (*wink / smile) “I don’t know if I should put you in time-out, or just spank you…”

That is not a zinger-that is just sad.

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

True, princessbonbon, but usually they don’t put their inconsistencies in adjacent paragraphs like that.

Zanana
Zanana
12 years ago

“are you not musking? you can’t STD (seal the deal) without a rich, evocative musk. women’s libidos are virtually 99% pheromones.”

I hope this suggestion is from a sarcastic hipster PUA and not someone’s real idea about the world

mayfly
mayfly
12 years ago

In this society women are expected to not show body

I can’t even go to the store and buy myself some bread without walking by the magazines with naked women all over it.

I think this poor man is deeply confused.

mayfly
mayfly
12 years ago

“I don’t know if I should put you in time-out, or just spank you…”

Holy crap that’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard.

cloudiah
12 years ago

by compromising genderoles for ages now

Are those anything like profiteroles? Because mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[cloudiah did not have time to eat lunch today.]

clairedammit
clairedammit
12 years ago

From PUA.txt :

The hipster brunette seems autistic or something because she tells me I look like a virgin (I don’t, I actually look fucking confident)

Aw, poor Mystery got negged. And if someone called me autistic as an insult, I’d just laugh.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

New Age Nazis…?

“This is the crystal that will help you invade Poland!”

princessbonbon
12 years ago

http://pua-txt.tumblr.com/image/33575439936

This one is interesting because it says “chubby chaser” in the description of the poster.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

VISUALIZE THE FATHERLAND

katz
12 years ago

Why does that tumblr have to go rag on nanowrimo?

I’m getting a bit too much smug-asshole from the blog’s owner :/

Falconer
12 years ago

Thanks, cloudiah, now my monitor has got tooth marks in it 🙁

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

And he wonders why he has no sex life. Oh, sorry, “sexlife”.

As for the “should I spank you” creep – holy hell, if I were a gun-carrier it’d be an inch from his face at that point!

princessbonbon
12 years ago

Though we might not have either in the future, as Hostess (responsible for both Twinking and Zingers) is threatening to liquidate itself. (Though presumably some competitor will move in to snap up the Twinkie/Zinger biz.

As far as I can tell it is liquidating because the private equity firms want to feast on the remains of the company while getting the added thrill of blaming the workers for wanting things like pay for working there…

And I actually do not know anyone who actually likes Twinkies.

katz
12 years ago

I didn’t know you could liquidate a Twinkie.

freitag235
freitag235
12 years ago

No words. I make my living with words but I have NO WORDS for this.

“…i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes.” Ok, points for getting the singular/plural correct. (I am grading freshmen essays.) But…no.

I have no words for this.

Get help. You (sorry to be ableist but this is true) are mentally unwell and you are not doing yourself any good. Go out and take a walk in the fresh air. Get The Fuck Over It. Pairs of titties are not staring at you, mocking you, or doing anything other than being body parts. Like arms. Or ears. Or nostrils. Or eyebrows.

I am going back to grading essays. It’s better for my own health right now.

carswell
carswell
12 years ago

It’s like wherever i turn there is a pair of titties mocking me, looking at me with it’s poking eyes.

I think someone is a little confused about anatomy…

freitag235
freitag235
12 years ago

Oh, and yeah, points for the singular/plural, but he totally borked the possessive. Points off.

princessbonbon
12 years ago

Get a good enough blender and I am sure you could liquidate any Twinkie Katz.

pillowinhell
12 years ago

You know, I really wouldn’t mind seeing pictures of beautiful naked men everywhere. Or statues of them, or scantily clad men on the streets. I mean really, can I share in this terrible injustice too?

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