Leave it to the Men’s Rightsers to come up with an even more ingeniously loopy explanation for Romney’s defeat than even Karl Rove has managed to come up with. According to the anonymous blogger behind the Christian Men’s Defense Network blog, on the far-right fringe of the already pretty fringey Men’s Rights movement, the thing that brought Romney down was “the slut vote.”
Let’s let Mr. Christian Men’s Defense Network explain:
[T]he Democrats tried to make this election about a single issue:
The right to slut.
Or more precisely, the right to slut without the responsibility of consequences. The famous “gender gap” isn’t really a gap based on gender. The right overwhelmingly wins older and married women.
But, alas, these fine, moral, married ladies are increasingly being challenged by younger, sluttier single gals.
[M]arried women constitute an ever-decreasing share of the female population. Women want to delay marriage as long as possible so they can “have it all,” and usually “have it all” means “have as much hot alpha sex as possible without any consequences.” And thus, less married women and more sluts
And so, Mr. CMDN concludes,
The “gender gap” should more accurately be called the slut vote.
In order to understand the Democrats’ evil (and successful) strategy to win over the slut vote, Mr. CMDN explains, we need to understand how they won over blacks. And yes, his explanation is racist as fuck:
Democrats have won the black vote because the black community is dominated by illegitimacy, and the Democrats are willing to subsidize and support that illegitimacy (as well as provide access to cheap abortions) so as to take away from sluts the consequences of their actions. Consequently, young black people grow up on the dole and not only never realize there might be something wrong with that, but eventually come to believe that’s the way it should be. The Democrats have won the black vote by first “empowering” single black mothers.
But now, you see, this kind of “illegitimacy” is spreading amongst white – or at least white sluts.
This is now beginning to happen in white suburbia, except unlike women in the urban black community, white suburban sluts start from a place of relative wealth and privilege (daddy’s little princess). Thus, food stamps–and increased rewards for having illegitimate kids while on food stamps–don’t (yet) appeal to them.
So instead Obama appealed to rich white sluts by forcing someone else (the Catholic church, in this case) to pay for their birth control, and by scaring them about alleged threats to their ability to take advantage of Planned Parenthood’s services (Planned Parenthood being conveniently located in the minority part of town, of course, so as to provide anonymity to visiting white girls whose white girl friends never go over there–except to visit Planned Parenthood themselves).
All the Democrats had to do to win over these slutty white gals was to frighten them a little:
One thing one has to remember about women, especially slutty ones: They usually don’t make decisions based on reason. So all the Obama administration had to do was scare them that Mitt Romney was going to take away their birth control and their access to abortion. The fear for them is that, without birth control and abortion, they might actually get pregnant and have to give birth. That is scary not simply because of the economic burden of having a child (since, hey, they can get all kinds of cash and prizes if that happens), but because if that happened then everyone would know they’re sluts, and their image as daddy’s pure little snowflake princess goes out the window.
Having just told us that “the “gender gap” should more accurately be called the slut vote,” Mr. CMDN now tells us that there’s more to the gender gap than mere sluttiness.
[T]he desire to slut it up isn’t the only factor in the gender gap. America has a fiscal problem primarily because women want free stuff without ever having to work. America is over-regulated because women don’t want to have to compete in the free market. America has profound moral problems in part because the rationalization hamster makes it impossible for 54% of the American electorate to ever admit a moral shortcoming.
However, this election cycle shows that the Slut Vote is real, and Republicans lose because they discount the existence of original sin in women. Abortion is often called the “third rail of American politics,” but in truth, the third rail is a woman’s right to slut (with cash and prizes).
One thing one has to remember about MRAs, especially shitty ones: The world they live in bears only a passing resemblance to reality.
And apparently, Mr. CMDN can only take so much reality: he took his blog private after this post of his was mentioned on Jezebel, which is why I had to link to the Google cached version rather than the blog itself.
Thanks to those who pointed me to this post! This would have gone up yesterday but I was too wiped out to write it.
These last few days of analysis and finger-pointing have been hilarious! It was the sluts! It was the Blacks! It was the Latinos! It was the slutty Blacks and Latinas!
Too funny.
I still think Karl Rove is the best though, David. Come on! Barack Obama suppressed the vote by not actively campaigning for Mitt Romney?! That’s genius. It’s not “Swift Boat” level genius, but Rove is getting older.
That post still makes my brain hurt trying to figure out the logic.
And how do I get cash and prizes for having a baby? Is there an application form or what?
Speaking of the rationalization hamster, I don’t think we’ve visited that meme in a while so here’s a trip down memory lane. (Meme based on a MRA rant documented here.
I had to move some of the quotes around in order to make this make any kind of sense. MRAs always complain that I distort what they write. They never give me credit for the hard work I do trying to make their badly written, badly organized rants even vaguely coherent.
Yet again, a conservative makes the incorrect assumption that the only women using birth control are single.
MARRIED WOMEN ALSO NEED TO CONTROL WHEN AND HOW OFTEN THEY HAVE CHILDREN.
Well if you have a baby you might have a baby shower. People who love you may give you baby gifts. Just imagine: all the onesies, bibs, and disposable diapers you could ever want! And if you follow the official slut protocol, you’ll sue the baby’s father for child support, effectively bankrupting him while you ensure that he never ever spends any time with the child and spending all of his money on expensive handbags and your new, alpha lover.
I think that’s how it works…
The “cash and prizes” bit makes me giggle. What should we call our slutty game show? The $10,000 Slut? The Price is Too High? Family Planning Feud?
I wonder if I’m a slut… I mean, on the one hand I’m a young single woman who voted for Obama and is all for legal abortion and full insurance coverage for birth control, which I’ve used on and off since seventh grade, and who supports a strong social safety net. On the other hand I’m a virgin…
Can I be a political slut?
Speaking of memes, and evil slut voters, Heartiste is promoting this new meme:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/thanks-suffrage/
http://www.quickmeme.com/thanks-suffrage/?upcoming
These guys don’t really “get” humor, do they?
@Nobinayamu
While the party sounds nice, the rest of it seems kind of mean so instead I think I will just continue to earn enough for me and the baby while the dad has as much visitation as he wants.
“I vote so I can pretend I’m a man”?
Suddenly, I feel like I understand who actually goes to see those horrible “spoof” movies like “Meet the Spartans” and “Date Movie”.
“Fugly people deserve the right to vote too. Thanks suffrage!”
…Yes. That is, in fact, a completely correct statement. People can go out and participate in public life even if they don’t give you a boner. Even if they don’t give anyone a boner! People can actually contribute things to the world other than giving other people boners. It’s shocking I know.
@wordsp1nner What that means is that you’re a frigid slut/tease. The important point is that you’re denying pussy to men who want it on demand (assuming you’re at least an 8 on some arbitrary hotness scale), and that’s just wrong. You’re a mean, frigid slut for doing that.
Well, that is how most of the single mothers I’ve known have handled it. Suit yourself, I guess.
“Sandra Fluke has free birth control, so now she can suck my penis. Thanks suffrage!”
Oh great it’s a transmisogyny joke. THAT’S SO ORIGINAL.
Also, um, is this the person who keeps coming to my blog by Googling “can you get pregnant by swallowing come?” Because you don’t need birth control for oral sex! Even though daddy said the baby was in mommy’s tummy, the uterus and the stomach are actually completely different body parts!
Oh man, the comments on that Heartiste post.
I don’t usually feel comfortable taking the piss out of people’s spelling and grammar but…
First they were funny in how pathetic they were, and then it just got uncomfortable…
“I have Down Syndrome.”
Apparently you can now just go around saying people have medical conditions and expect to be a genius of comedy! “Hey everybody Joe has cancer!” “Jeanette has Lyme Disease!” I crack myself up.
Also this person hasn’t quite grasped the meme. It’s supposed to be “I have Down Syndrome. Thanks suffrage!” I dunno, maybe Down’s Syndrome is the first voting-transmitted disease?
“After twelve years of brainwashing I empowered a mass murderer. Thanks suffrage!”
…I have literally no idea what this means.
Don’t forget we can make our own!
I know, I make a terrible strawFeminist.
I think wanting your lesbian sister to be able to get married is a perfectly viable reason to vote…
I have no adequate words to describe my utter seething contempt at the kind of scumfuck that mocks or denigrates people with DS.
Gah, I don’t even know how to finish this comment. Too much rage. I had a really close family member with DS. And just double un-fuck everything.
@Ozymandias, they mean to say that Obama’s a mass murderer.
That’s the punchline.
…yeah.