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$MONEY$ alpha males antifeminism armageddon beta males cupcake evo psych fairy tales heartiste hypergamy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny open thread oppressed white men PUA racism reactionary bullshit thug-lovers white knights woman's suffrage

Election Day Open Thread! Plus, some inane crap from Heartiste on the single white woman vote.

Make sure you vote on this crucial ballot initiative.

Election day is here at last! Vote! VOTE!! VOOOTTTTTEEEEE!!!1!!!

Well, if you’re American, anyway.

Americans and non-Americans alike, enjoy these ridiculous thoughts on the Single White Woman Vote from our old pal Heartiste.

[S]ingle women’s prime directive is to fulfill their hypergamous impulse for the highest possible status man they can coax into long-term commitment. The party that is perceived as being pro-unrestricted female sexuality, anti-male sexuality, and anti-drone beta male is going to get their vote.

Huh. I guess we can add “hates drone beta males” to Obama’s long list of imaginary crimes, alongside “is a secret Kenyan Muslim,” “wants to take my guns” and “won’t give Donald Trump his school transcripts.” (Actually, that last “crime” is true.)

You would probably not be surprised to learn that not only do single white SWPL chicks just automatically ASSUME everyone in their social circle is an Obama cultist … the first thing that pops in their heads when you ask them why they’re voting for Obama is usually something along the lines of “Romney wants to take away my birth control”. Yeah, these are educated women saying this. Thanks suffrage!

Somehow I doubt the “single white SWPL chicks” that Heartiste spoke to actually think Romney is going to come into their bedrooms and steal their birth control. No doubt they are, rather, concerned with Romney’s altogether non-imaginary plans to make abortion illegal and restrict their access to affordable reproductive health services generally. (Oh, and “SWPL” stands for “stuff white people like,” a reference to the blog of the same name, and seems to be Heartiste’s favorite term for white people who live in urban areas and who aren’t reactionary assholes like himself.)

And now, the required reference to Sex and the City:

The fact is, marriage advocacy (and earlier marriage) is bad for young women’s sexual market value leverage …  A party that embodies the single and seeking alpha cock in the city lifestyle will appeal to them. The party which is perceived (facts don’t really matter in politics) as pushing women to settle down early with a reliable company man and start popping out future video gamers is anathema to the single, economically self-sufficient, white woman sensibility.

Here we come to the crux of Heartiste’s, er, “argument.”

Finally, and perhaps most saliently, single white women see Big Daddy State as a beta provider husband substitute. This has nothing to do with pity for the downtrodden masses and everything to do with “how much money and services I can redirect my way with an assist from the white knight contingent”.

Let’s throw some Evo Psych in the mix:

The single white woman who delays family formation finds herself battling her ancient subterranean limbic rhythms which always and everywhere guide her to seek out potential mates who could provide resources for her and her children, particularly when she is burdened by pregnancy and mostly unable (at least as would have been the case in the ancestral environment) to fully provide for herself. The single white woman, lacking the beta provider hubby (ironically, mostly by her own hand) seeks to fill his absence with the alternative — the looming Big Man tribal leader, which in modern America is the federal government, and its shaman is Obama.

Huh. I thought single women were supposed to have the hots for Obama because he’s such an alpha. But now he’s a beta provider?

Heartiste continues:

Women are naturally redistributionist because women are naturally self-aggrandizing and self-entitled, as befits their higher reproductive worth. And, more controversially, a very bad man like myself would say that women are naturally comfortable in quasi-harem arrangements, which is what the single woman concubine-government alpha provider relationship amounts to. And just like an alpha provider/protector, the government is very good at forcibly extracting tribute from the beta male masses.

Huh. I thought alphas weren’t interested in providing or protecting. Now they’ve become the ultimate White Knights?

In effect, Big Government is at once the alpha male tribal leader and the beta provider sucker who happily assumes the cuckold role as step-father to the single mom’s cadbaggage.

Wait, what? Dude, if you have to twist your definitions of alpha and beta like taffy to apply them to this situation, it may be an indication that all this alpha/beta shit just might be complete bullshit to begin with.

Now Heartiste comes to the issue of race. You may wish to avert your eyes.

[T]he final, and most emotionally laden, variable in this equation is the black man angle. Both sides in this long-running debate have their points. My take from ground-level recon is that the people claiming single white women love alpha black men are overstating their case, and the people claiming single white women would never think of hooking up with “lower class, less accomplished, thug” black men are overstating theirs. White women do find plenty of black men physically exciting. And smarter white women do hesitate to date black men because of a very reasonable fear that, should a warpling issue from the union (this is always in the back of women’s minds, despite the easy availability of contraceptives), the black man will be less likely than the white man to stick around and care for her in her time of need.

And this weird racist stew relates to the election how? Because Obama is black?

As far as a I can tell, contra white nationalist hopes and dreams, single white women have ZERO concept of loyalty for their white men. Try to explain to your typical single white woman about the importance of loyalty to her men and of the idea of genetically preserving the white race’s unique winning attributes, and you may as well be a Martian spurting goo all over her.

Or maybe, just maybe, the single white women you’re trying to “explain” this to are looking at you funny because you’re a creepy racist prick who thinks that he and other white dudes should have a say in how you use your vagina?

Now, in practice, one could argue that unmarried white women exercise a de facto loyalty to their men, because most white chicks date white men, and studies have shown that white women are the most resistant to dating outside their race. But how long will this hold? Census data points to a slow but inexorable increase in out-marrying and out-dating by white women (and white men). If there is some subconscious racial loyalty or primal preference acting to steer the tingles of single white women (and I believe there is), it is showing signs of withering under a coordinated cultural assault that has made even broaching the topic the equivalent of condemning oneself to the social gulag.

Heartiste returns to the issue of politics. Well, politics and the single white female vagina:

Btw, from a tingles-first perspective, a lot of white women thought Bill Clinton was way sexier than they currently think of Barack Obama’s sex appeal. This isn’t a looks or race thing… Bill just had more sensual, oozing charm than Barry. Chicks dig charming mofos.

Heartiste offers this sad lament on the waning power of white male voters:

A lot of white men and white married couples are going to break for Romney, but the social and racial and familial demographics of the country are moving with such force in the opposite direction that the white man vote, no matter how consolidated, is going to eventually get swamped by the undertow and rendered irrelevant for many, many election cycles to come (assuming there will continue to be a country in existence that is capable of holding elections).

Yes, it’s true that as the US becomes more demographically diverse, white men will make up a smaller portion of the electorate, and thus, as a demographic group, will have less influence. That’s kind of how democracy works.

Heartiste ends it all with this baffling apocalyptic conclusion, bringing it all back to the issue of … tariffs?

When the white man “wakes up” to this fact, I predict secession movements will sprout up all around the country, descaling the nation to more socially and tribally congenial entities. But most of us reading this will be dead by that time. And it will be too late, regardless. In the meantime, expect populism to rise again, and tariffs to become the talk of the townhall. A billion Chinese is a lot of surplus cheap labor to churn through before wages equilibrate. There will be blood in the interim.

Heartiste, maybe you should just stay home and rest today. You sound a bit feverish.

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hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Double werd to Gore and 2004 Ohio.

abcd
abcd
7 years ago

That ‘heartiste’ thread is glorious. Right-libertarians crying all over the place: boohoo women, boohoo blacks, boohoo egalitarians, boohoo parasites. mmmm

timetravellingfool
7 years ago

Just thank god- genuinely terrified about what that romney dude would have done.

timetravellingfool
7 years ago

Omg, and women’s votes pretty much won this election! The manosphere is going to be positively delightful the next few days!!

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

For those who are happy, I’m happy that you’re happy. I feel the same way Tulgey does about the whole thing but since this is pretty much me today, don’t let me piddle on your parade.

howardbann1ster
7 years ago

I’m really happy.

Not just because OBAMA–Nate Silver points out that Obama won on a broad coalition. Digby(and Greg Sargent) point out that it was a liberal victory.

Future Dems have been put on notice; tracking to the center isn’t the way to win. Fight the common wisdom. Follow the winning votes. Notice how many progressives have been swept into Congress.

That lays the groundwork to make the next election an even stronger assault on the conservatives attacking women’s autonomy. And the next. And the next.

timetravellingfool
7 years ago

@ nat- why, what’s wrong? I can’t imagine you were pulling for romney? Hope you live in colorado today

RubyHypatia
RubyHypatia
7 years ago

Agreed, Bill Clinton is a very charming man. Though I’d never vote for the guy, even if I were young and single, I have to admit that he has charisma.

thenatfantastic
7 years ago

@timetravellingfool Nah, I’m in the UK. I’m sulking because people at work are being jerks, and I volunteered to work behing the bar at the anarchist social centre for a film showing tonight, then found out that one of my favourite bands are playing a squat gig down the road, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it. So totally first world problems, but it’s making me be a grumpy fucker.

AJ
AJ
7 years ago

Thank you for the puppy videos. They were just what I needed.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

*checking the latest returns locally, scowls*

Sigh.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

Pretty much everything I was concerned about went the way that I wanted it to. And I’m not even hung over!

*puppyprance*

pecunium
7 years ago

Here’s how I feel.

Like Dancing!

Falconer
7 years ago

@pecunium: I love George Takei so much. I was so happy when marriage equality passed in California and he was able to tie the knot.

timetravellingfool
7 years ago

@ nat- Well, that is kinda sad, so, ya know, sympathetic shoulder pats if you want ’em. No hugs though- I’m kind of reserved.

Falconer
7 years ago

Whoops, I missed Nat’s reply. That sucks, nat 🙁 Hugs!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Prop 30 seems to have passed in CA, which means while things are still a mess at least we won’t have to cut $6 billion from public schools…

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

Falconer
7 years ago

@Cloudiah: That’s great!

My local news is that, although we voted in the Republican incumbent in the Senate, Bob Corker, we didn’t vote in the really dubious guy who won the Democratic primary because his name came first. I mean, this guy thinks the TSA makes queer folk molest children, and the Chinese government coerced Google into burying his website. Oh, and he’s boldly taken a stand against the merger of the US, Canadian and Mexican economies into the North American Union. The Washington Post. Gawker. Trump was wrong; the Tennessee Democrats are the laughingstock of the world. Still, a Corker win was the best option.

On the other hand, Scott DesJarlais, who opposed any abortion that isn’t his mistress’s (and advocates tirelessly for that one) won reelection.

Not to mention our electoral college votes went to Romney.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

the Tennessee Democrats are the laughingstock of the world

I am terribly sorry that happened to you. The Dems in my state at least recruit mostly decent candidates to run. I am hoping that Penzone keeps his name ID high since it is expected Arpaio will probably not make it through another term.

Falconer
7 years ago

Whoop, they’re still not done counting Florida?!

Fitzy
Fitzy
7 years ago

the really dubious guy who won the Democratic primary because his name came first.

Alrighty, my plans for political domination are cemented. All I need to do is hootfoot it down to the court so I can get my name change.

Oh, by the way – vote Fitzy Aardvark 2016.

Falconer
7 years ago

@princessbonbon: Thank you for your condolences. It’s just that we have no money since we lost control of the state House in 2010 — we lost control of the state-level pork and such. Plus, the party didn’t give a whole lot of support to its candidates. It asked Park Overall to run, she had $100 to spend, and they gave her a copy of Deer Hunting with Jesus to orient her how to reach out to the people of Tennessee.

I’m beginning to think that I and the Democrats around Knoxville and Oak Ridge are a minority even within our own (state) party.

Fitzy
Fitzy
7 years ago

Florida will never be finished counting! Ever!

If 2000 taught us anything, it should be this. 🙂

Falconer
7 years ago

At least it won’t come down to Which Party Won the Court Packing Race this time….

princessbonbon
7 years ago

@Falconer It is when you say things like that that make me go “I WANT HOWARD DEAN BACK.”

Say what you will, that man could and did pour resources into the party apparatus nation wide and that is really really important to ensure that we can win.

Have you thought about running for office?

Falconer
7 years ago

Have you thought about running for office?

Yeah, I have, briefly, and here are the assets and liabilities:

PRO: I’m a fat, white straight guy. If I learn to mimic a love for getting up before dawn and going out and murderizing some poor harmless deer, I might be able to pass for a good old boy. I’d have to buy a truck I got no use for, though.

CON: I say “fuck” on the Internet and love George Takei (and equal rights in general). I have no fucks to give about Vols v. Bama or Gators. I’m an atheist, and I got no money. Also, I can’t lie worth a damn.

So it’d have to be something small, like a local school board.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

Oh yeah, you should always start small unless you are also a multimillionaire. With a lot of friends who are also multimillionaires. 😀

Falconer
7 years ago

Heeeeey, maybe I should Kickstarter a campaign! All the big boys do it!

Let’s see … donate $10, I promise not to be a jerk … $25, I can advocate for school lunch programs … $50, after-school programs … $100, I promise to bite my tongue over public-school pre-game prayer led by the guy in the judge’s box … $500, I promise to be an overt proponent of evolutionary theory.

That’s how that works, right?

katz
7 years ago

Also my older cat is a predominantly Maine Coon/Persian moggy, so double win for him with marriage equality in one motherland and a lower chance of being bombed to heck in the other.

But your kitty’s native son lost.

pecunium
7 years ago

Falconer: My dad lives in Oak Ridge. He feels your pain. Next time I’m in the area I know a great mexican restaurant (Yucatan), and we can grab some beer and a bite. You can meet my dad/some of my sisters.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
7 years ago

I understand the frustration at overly conservative Democrats. Our Democratic governor Jay Nixon vetoed the bill that would have helped mothers afford daycare, because a lot of mothers have to turn down pay raises or have more children than they want due to the low wage trap. What’s sad is it wouldn’t have even cost tax money. All it would have done is make a slope for benefits rather than a cliff, to avoid putting parents in the bind between accepting a promotion and losing healthcare and childcare.

I knew I was voting for the lesser of two evils, but I decided in this case, pragmatism had to come before idealism. At least I know Nixon will support SEMA and school lunches, which to me, are critical issues. David Spence, not so much. I look at it as that I voted against Spence more than I voted for Nixon.

Sorry if this is a rambling mess. My tl/dr is that there is a delicate balance between making too many compromises at the expense of what’s right, and being unable to form any coalitions that can actually win elections.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

@Falconer

Not quite but close.

Historophilia
Historophilia
7 years ago

Hurrah for ‘Muriccah!

Speaking from across the pond I congratulate you on your collective sanity.

However your election did mean that every bar on my university campus was packed out with people watching it and me and the rest of my kendo dojo had to sit outside when we went for a drink after training.

But I’ll forgive you that, just this once.

Falconer
7 years ago

@Pecunium: A get-together would be fun, although I’m worried I’d just sit there and listen to you hold forth, which doesn’t sound like much fun for you.

Falconer
7 years ago

…And the conversation has moved onto the new thread while I wasn’t looking.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

You probably would not have if Romney had won Historophilia. 😀

Historophilia
Historophilia
7 years ago

No Princessbonbon I would not have forgiven you. But if Romney had won I would have been on the phone crying for the fate of humanity to my feminist friends.

Mikey Armstrong
Mikey Armstrong
7 years ago

@pecunium

“So Heartiste, who is making his chops on the premise that he will teach you how to be a horse on the Alpha Cock Carousel is all pissed off that women are voting to make it more possible for them to ride the Alpha Cock Carousel?

Cognitive Stupidity much?”

Just another example of a white guy voting against his interests.

quantumsparkles
quantumsparkles
7 years ago

Late to the game but… Wait, seriously, other Oak Ridgers/Knoxvillians? Small interwebs. (I’ll vote for you, Falconer!)

And yeah, the TN “democrat” candidate for senate was a complete joke. His website was just a bunch of bible quotes.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

YES YES YES YES YES, Ann Kirkpatrick just beat Payday Paton!

WOOT WOOT!

Skyrimjob
Skyrimjob
7 years ago

Romney’s concession speech was very gracious, I’ll give him that. I only wish the rest of the GOP would follow his example.

Angela
Angela
7 years ago

Ps, everybody, I’m not going to shut up. I’ll go to my grave thinking people should have been arrested and convicted for selling other people. Judge away.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

That is not why I told you to shut up.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

Ha, I was wondering all day if Romney had actually won the popular vote or not (I’m not a very good news consumer). That’s the last (and first) time I rely on Donald Trump for any factual knowledge whatsoever.

I admire you for being able to take that much AM talk radio, TL – I can read conservative or libertarian lit for hours, but usually only last about fifteen minutes worth of listening to Neil Bortz or Rush before the shudders take over.

I was pretty surprised at how tolerable it was. I mean, I heard racist dogwhistle/regular whistle stuff about Europe’s birth rate and how white people Europe is on its way to extinction alongside the kind of thing I expected to hear about UNIONS and ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS and UNIONS REGISTERING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, but for the most part it was dry talk about election numbers interspersed with Karl Rove quotes. I didn’t even hear about what a fool Rove made of himself on Fox last night until I listened to NPR today.

The worst part was the commercials, especially one in particular for an asian women’s ministry that talked about some woman’s extensive maladies being healed by God just ‘cuz. Also the one about a prayer ministry here in Dallas, hocking the same kind of stuff—”give us 50 dollars and we’ll pray for you” or something like that. That shit makes me sick and sad.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

They have those adverts because it preps their viewers/listeners to accept the candidates crap.

katz
7 years ago

Shut up, Angela.

Angela
Angela
7 years ago

Bonbon, it’s what it boils down to. Intelligent women were reduced to pack-like slobbering dogs because someone decided blood was in the water. I’m sure it was extremely disconcerting to learn someone couldn’t be arrested for keeping slaves, but that’s no excuse to attack the messenger.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

Now I am telling you to shut up over the stupidity you are spewing.

No one cares about your pet project of “people were enslaved because I do not understand law, history, or reality.”

cloudiah
7 years ago

Intelligent women were reduced to pack-like slobbering dogs because someone decided blood was in the water.

ALL OUR NANOWRIMO WRITERS SHOULD TACKLE AND SUBDUE THAT MIXED METAPHOR!!!