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$MONEY$ alpha males antifeminism armageddon beta males cupcake evo psych fairy tales heartiste hypergamy men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny open thread oppressed white men PUA racism reactionary bullshit thug-lovers white knights woman's suffrage

Election Day Open Thread! Plus, some inane crap from Heartiste on the single white woman vote.

Make sure you vote on this crucial ballot initiative.

Election day is here at last! Vote! VOTE!! VOOOTTTTTEEEEE!!!1!!!

Well, if you’re American, anyway.

Americans and non-Americans alike, enjoy these ridiculous thoughts on the Single White Woman Vote from our old pal Heartiste.

[S]ingle women’s prime directive is to fulfill their hypergamous impulse for the highest possible status man they can coax into long-term commitment. The party that is perceived as being pro-unrestricted female sexuality, anti-male sexuality, and anti-drone beta male is going to get their vote.

Huh. I guess we can add “hates drone beta males” to Obama’s long list of imaginary crimes, alongside “is a secret Kenyan Muslim,” “wants to take my guns” and “won’t give Donald Trump his school transcripts.” (Actually, that last “crime” is true.)

You would probably not be surprised to learn that not only do single white SWPL chicks just automatically ASSUME everyone in their social circle is an Obama cultist … the first thing that pops in their heads when you ask them why they’re voting for Obama is usually something along the lines of “Romney wants to take away my birth control”. Yeah, these are educated women saying this. Thanks suffrage!

Somehow I doubt the “single white SWPL chicks” that Heartiste spoke to actually think Romney is going to come into their bedrooms and steal their birth control. No doubt they are, rather, concerned with Romney’s altogether non-imaginary plans to make abortion illegal and restrict their access to affordable reproductive health services generally. (Oh, and “SWPL” stands for “stuff white people like,” a reference to the blog of the same name, and seems to be Heartiste’s favorite term for white people who live in urban areas and who aren’t reactionary assholes like himself.)

And now, the required reference to Sex and the City:

The fact is, marriage advocacy (and earlier marriage) is bad for young women’s sexual market value leverage …  A party that embodies the single and seeking alpha cock in the city lifestyle will appeal to them. The party which is perceived (facts don’t really matter in politics) as pushing women to settle down early with a reliable company man and start popping out future video gamers is anathema to the single, economically self-sufficient, white woman sensibility.

Here we come to the crux of Heartiste’s, er, “argument.”

Finally, and perhaps most saliently, single white women see Big Daddy State as a beta provider husband substitute. This has nothing to do with pity for the downtrodden masses and everything to do with “how much money and services I can redirect my way with an assist from the white knight contingent”.

Let’s throw some Evo Psych in the mix:

The single white woman who delays family formation finds herself battling her ancient subterranean limbic rhythms which always and everywhere guide her to seek out potential mates who could provide resources for her and her children, particularly when she is burdened by pregnancy and mostly unable (at least as would have been the case in the ancestral environment) to fully provide for herself. The single white woman, lacking the beta provider hubby (ironically, mostly by her own hand) seeks to fill his absence with the alternative — the looming Big Man tribal leader, which in modern America is the federal government, and its shaman is Obama.

Huh. I thought single women were supposed to have the hots for Obama because he’s such an alpha. But now he’s a beta provider?

Heartiste continues:

Women are naturally redistributionist because women are naturally self-aggrandizing and self-entitled, as befits their higher reproductive worth. And, more controversially, a very bad man like myself would say that women are naturally comfortable in quasi-harem arrangements, which is what the single woman concubine-government alpha provider relationship amounts to. And just like an alpha provider/protector, the government is very good at forcibly extracting tribute from the beta male masses.

Huh. I thought alphas weren’t interested in providing or protecting. Now they’ve become the ultimate White Knights?

In effect, Big Government is at once the alpha male tribal leader and the beta provider sucker who happily assumes the cuckold role as step-father to the single mom’s cadbaggage.

Wait, what? Dude, if you have to twist your definitions of alpha and beta like taffy to apply them to this situation, it may be an indication that all this alpha/beta shit just might be complete bullshit to begin with.

Now Heartiste comes to the issue of race. You may wish to avert your eyes.

[T]he final, and most emotionally laden, variable in this equation is the black man angle. Both sides in this long-running debate have their points. My take from ground-level recon is that the people claiming single white women love alpha black men are overstating their case, and the people claiming single white women would never think of hooking up with “lower class, less accomplished, thug” black men are overstating theirs. White women do find plenty of black men physically exciting. And smarter white women do hesitate to date black men because of a very reasonable fear that, should a warpling issue from the union (this is always in the back of women’s minds, despite the easy availability of contraceptives), the black man will be less likely than the white man to stick around and care for her in her time of need.

And this weird racist stew relates to the election how? Because Obama is black?

As far as a I can tell, contra white nationalist hopes and dreams, single white women have ZERO concept of loyalty for their white men. Try to explain to your typical single white woman about the importance of loyalty to her men and of the idea of genetically preserving the white race’s unique winning attributes, and you may as well be a Martian spurting goo all over her.

Or maybe, just maybe, the single white women you’re trying to “explain” this to are looking at you funny because you’re a creepy racist prick who thinks that he and other white dudes should have a say in how you use your vagina?

Now, in practice, one could argue that unmarried white women exercise a de facto loyalty to their men, because most white chicks date white men, and studies have shown that white women are the most resistant to dating outside their race. But how long will this hold? Census data points to a slow but inexorable increase in out-marrying and out-dating by white women (and white men). If there is some subconscious racial loyalty or primal preference acting to steer the tingles of single white women (and I believe there is), it is showing signs of withering under a coordinated cultural assault that has made even broaching the topic the equivalent of condemning oneself to the social gulag.

Heartiste returns to the issue of politics. Well, politics and the single white female vagina:

Btw, from a tingles-first perspective, a lot of white women thought Bill Clinton was way sexier than they currently think of Barack Obama’s sex appeal. This isn’t a looks or race thing… Bill just had more sensual, oozing charm than Barry. Chicks dig charming mofos.

Heartiste offers this sad lament on the waning power of white male voters:

A lot of white men and white married couples are going to break for Romney, but the social and racial and familial demographics of the country are moving with such force in the opposite direction that the white man vote, no matter how consolidated, is going to eventually get swamped by the undertow and rendered irrelevant for many, many election cycles to come (assuming there will continue to be a country in existence that is capable of holding elections).

Yes, it’s true that as the US becomes more demographically diverse, white men will make up a smaller portion of the electorate, and thus, as a demographic group, will have less influence. That’s kind of how democracy works.

Heartiste ends it all with this baffling apocalyptic conclusion, bringing it all back to the issue of … tariffs?

When the white man “wakes up” to this fact, I predict secession movements will sprout up all around the country, descaling the nation to more socially and tribally congenial entities. But most of us reading this will be dead by that time. And it will be too late, regardless. In the meantime, expect populism to rise again, and tariffs to become the talk of the townhall. A billion Chinese is a lot of surplus cheap labor to churn through before wages equilibrate. There will be blood in the interim.

Heartiste, maybe you should just stay home and rest today. You sound a bit feverish.

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indifferentsky
8 years ago

We need to take this country back, ladies. 🙂

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Then do what I nag everyone to do: run for office yourself. 😀

blitzgal
8 years ago

No it passed. The date of conception is counted from the date of her last period making it 18 weeks at best and probably less for those of us with odd cycles.

Oh yeah, that solicitor general down there is a real peach, too:

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/11/06/1144301/arizona-fetal-birth-defects-womans-problem/

Judge Andrew Kleinfeld, a panel member appointed by former President George H.W. Bush, repeatedly expressed concern that the law might not afford women the opportunity to abort a fetus with birth defects in cases where the defects are not apparent until just before 20 weeks.

He also questioned the need to prohibit abortions at that stage of the pregnancy, especially for fetuses bound to develop “horrible birth defects.”

“They’re basically born into hell and then die,” Kleinfeld said. “I don’t see how the courts could act before viability” of the fetus.

“With due respect, that’s the woman’s problem,” responded David Cole, Arizona’s solicitor general. “She should have made that decision earlier.”

Yup, if you find out too late that you’re carrying a fetus with severe birth defects that either endanger your life, or will condemn the child to a very brief and painful life, that’s your problem.

Fucking assholes.

freitag235
freitag235
8 years ago

“With due respect, that’s the woman’s problem,” responded David Cole, Arizona’s solicitor general. “She should have made that decision earlier.”

So stupid. So very much stupid.

Why do they hate women so much? I just don’t get it.

pecunium
8 years ago

Frietag: They hate freedom. Not in the abstract way GWB went on about it, they hate that anyone (other than a select few) have the ability to do what they want.

They are Authoritarians, and autocrats.

chibigodzilla
8 years ago

a fetus with birth defects in cases where the defects are not apparent until just before 20 weeks.

“With due respect, that’s the woman’s problem,” responded David Cole, Arizona’s solicitor general. “She should have made that decision earlier.”

Yeah! It’s the woman’s problem that we lack the knowledge/technology to identify these problems earlier. I mean, come on ladies, get it together!

Kakanian
Kakanian
8 years ago

>Yup, if you find out too late that you’re carrying a fetus with severe birth defects that either endanger your life, or will condemn the child to a very brief and painful life, that’s your problem.

But it’s pretty much a running gag that the Republican Party cares little for children once they’re out of their mother’s tummy.

blitzgal
8 years ago

And of course these are the SAME FUCKING ASSHOLES who think that it’s not the government’s responsibility to make sure these kids have affordable healthcare, or food, or shelter. So they can literally starve to death as children and they don’t give a shit. This is not about being “pro-life,” this is about erasing a woman’s agency and forcing her to be a slave to her own biology. PERIOD.

blitzgal
8 years ago

Oh, and before any shitlords decide to pounce on that, telling women to just “not have sex” is not a solution. Married women want to control when and how often they have children, too. So unless you’re seriously telling us all to go Lysistrata on your asses you’ll shut that shit down right now.

Falconer
8 years ago

No muss, no fuss,

no spills, you’re tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don’t settle for less

Sorry, I needed that after I heard that the horrible bill actually passed in Arizona because the woman should have made a decision based on information she didn’t have.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Huh, I thought I found Obama attractive because he’s tall, thin, friendly, and good looking, all of which are things that I tend to go for. Who knew it was because he was the ideal beta provider?

(Isn’t he a little too rich and powerful, and sleeping with too sexy a woman, to be a beta by the usual PUA rules?)

assuming there will continue to be a country in existence that is capable of holding elections

Because none of the countries that aren’t dominated by white men manage to hold elections.

Falconer
8 years ago

And I did not propitiate the WordPress gods sufficiently well for them to allow the damn video to embed.

Niktike
Niktike
8 years ago

Why do I get the feeling that Heartiste is using “thug” as a euphemism for the n-word?

Falconer
8 years ago

Why do I get the feeling that Heartiste is using “thug” as a euphemism for the n-word?

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s the longstanding habit and practice of the MRAs who go on about “thug dick” to use “thug” to mean the n-word that makes you suspect that Fartiste is doing the same thing.

freitag235
freitag235
8 years ago

And MRAs have a real problem with “white” women dating “thugs” in general.

Need to know (@Oraclenine)

Oregon is vote by mail/drop box. We set aside an evening to go over the voter guide and assorted campaign mail and discuss the issues before marking our own ballots. Then one of us takes our ballots across the street to the nearest drop box.

We’ve just started to get our election watching supplies together before we settle in front of the TV with our laptops. Expecting it will be a long night, there are a couple of state races I’m fretted about.

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

So, according to Fartiste (I love that!), wanting to be able to use our health insurance for birth control = being in a harem, which we are just naturally comfortable with.

Nada
Nada
8 years ago

So happy they’re not even hiding their bigotry anymore. Hopefully crap like this will scare off some on-the-fence MRAs.

‘(this is always in the back of women’s minds, despite the easy availability of contraceptives)’

Sorry, what is the point here, I wonder, in pointing out that sexually active women worry about pregnancy? That they are too stupid to use birth control? That they shouldn’t worry their pretty heads when the Republicans know all there is about their vaginas? That they care about whether or not PIV sex results in a pregnancy? It is just such an odd aside.

pecunium
8 years ago

So Heartiste, who is making his chops on the premise that he will teach you how to be a horse on the Alpha Cock Carousel is all pissed off that women are voting to make it more possible for them to ride the Alpha Cock Carousel?

Cognitive Stupidity much?

Unless he’s, perhaps, not all that alpa, after all.

Oops, I kept reading… Whisky Tango Foxtot, Over.

The Gov’t is alpha, and beta and all things to all women… but only if it’s the “Evil Liberal Gov’t”. Which is bad for women because the lose the AlphaBetaGammGlobulin of BigDaddyGov’t?

This is (And I say that having read a lot of pre-Heartiste Roissy), probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen him hack out.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think it’s that Fartiste isn’t actually familiar enough with either vaginas or birth control to understand that sometimes birth control fails, no matter how carefully you use it.

AJ
AJ
8 years ago

Dude, I admit there are times when I just can’t force myself to read even your excerpts of these people’s “arguments”. Also, I’m sorry, but I like puppies more than kittens for those times when things get so over-the-top ridiculous that you need a break.

In fact, I think I am going to have to go watch the puppy (Tugger) with the doorstop to cleanse my palate from this dreck (the stuff you quoted, not your blog).

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Well I am off to home to get ready for the Democratic Party’s shindig downtown to watch the election returns. My best friend scored me VIP passes so I get to be all VIPy.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

princessbonbon, have fun being VIPy!

Nada:

So happy they’re not even hiding their bigotry anymore. Hopefully crap like this will scare off some on-the-fence MRAs.

The MRM has never been shrinking violets when it comes to bigotry, and an on the fence MRA is like being sort of pregnant. You either think women are people or you don’t.

Falconer
8 years ago

@AJ: Occasionally we post bull dog puppy videos. It’s just that cats have control of 95% of YouTube.

princessbonbon
8 years ago
Falconer
8 years ago

There you go, AJ

Falconer
8 years ago

Hmmmm….

Falconer
8 years ago

Ha! WordPress doesn’t like “https://”, it wants “http://”!

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

@AJ: Same here- it just all sounds indistinguishable after a while. Although, I stopped about here (don’t know if anyone’s mentioned it yet):

The single white woman, lacking the beta provider hubby (ironically, mostly by her own hand)

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

Puppy and kitty, although kitty doesn’t look too happy in this one.

Cat of Many Faces
Cat of Many Faces
8 years ago

Warpling??? I… just, wha??

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think I have it! What warpling means. Given Roissy’s attitude towards sex and his…let’s call it his lack of concern with female pleasure, maybe it means that the babies were conceived at warp speed, which in Roissy terms is the correct and proper way to have a one night stand.

Magpie
8 years ago

For voters who didn’t get a sticker, here is a kangaroo stamp:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41zVTN6IvNL._SL500_SS500_.jpg

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Cassandra, are you saying that our friend Fartiste is a proponent of the jack rabbit school of fucking? I bet he is god awful in bed.

popcornculturejunkie
8 years ago

This was a crazy election day, especially in my state. The way things have been going, I was surprised that I was in and out at the polls in a short period of time. Of course, I can’t say the same about the folks voting right now. But…hoping the amendments don’t pass. 🙂

freitag235
freitag235
8 years ago

Did somebody say bull dog puppy?

Always happy to oblige!

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

Roissy in bed..*shudder*

I’m trying not to look at election results. They’re making me really nervous.

katz
8 years ago

Here you go, AJ.

popcornculturejunkie
8 years ago

@ freitag: What a cute, wrinkly little baby…I wish I could pet it 🙂

pecunium
8 years ago

I have some thoughts up on the way the election seems to be shaping up.

Hit my link to see it.

sthlivingincolor
8 years ago

All I have to say is yay for Washington state voting by mail! And I, single white female, and my honey, single white male, voted for Obama, legal weed, and gay marriage!

whataboutthemoonz
8 years ago

Screw Heartise.

Not if he were literally the last person on earth.

OMG! Heartiste is Gollum! Now it all makes perfect sense.

Actually I was going for women are Gollum because ‘ancient subterranean’ made me think of him chillin’ in the Misty Mountains. But yeah, Heartiste could totally be Gollum. He’s SO OBSESSED with power that he’s shriveled up and become some ghoulish shell of what might have been human at one point.

And of course these are the SAME FUCKING ASSHOLES who think that it’s not the government’s responsibility to make sure these kids have affordable healthcare, or food, or shelter.

True story: last night at dinner I was staring into a bowl of stroganoff and all I could think was “I’m so glad my family falls into the 53% of Americans who are rich enough to deserve food”. And then I was super depressed.

telling women to just “not have sex” is not a solution.

This is actually a great solution. If every single woman in America refused to have sex until Republicans sorted their shit out, we’d have free birth control and high tech abortions like STAT.

I’m trying not to look at election results. They’re making me really nervous.

Calling a Romney win an ‘upset’ is probably the most honest thing that’s been said about this entire election.

pecunium
8 years ago

I’m hoping Voter Supression, and whackaloon ideas were the cause. When that’s the case, The People have a way to shut that shit down.

Baldwin looks to be a winner to. LGBT in the Senate.

And, no matter what, Joe Lieberman is out of office.

sthlivingincolor
8 years ago

Todd Akin is out, as well as Richard Mourdock and “Joe the Plumber”! Looks like Michele Bachmann’s going to win her race, though; pretty slim margin for an incumbent.

Falconer
8 years ago

Gah, I’m biting my nails over Florida. I guess I shouldn’t because of the six states that haven’t closed yet, three of them are definitely going for Obama (CA, OR, WA).

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
8 years ago

I don’t know how they’re calling the race for Tammy Baldwin. It looks iffy from where I sit.

Falconer
8 years ago

And, no matter what, Joe Lieberman is out of office.

But, but who will Jon Stewart mock with his Droopy Dog impersonation?! /snark

Seriously, thank god, I’m glad we’ve seen the back of Joe “Imma form my own party” Loserman.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

He’s channeling H.P. Lovecraft: “The single white woman who delays family formation finds herself battling her ancient subterranean limbic rhythms…” It’s well-known the horror writer had a tin ear for dialogue.

Also, if you happen to be a sex positive woman, or as this untalented hack put it: “pro-unrestricted female sexuality,” and straight, we don’t want male sexuality to be restricted.

I think he thinks male sexuality is about hitting a woman over the head with a club and dragging her into a cave.