Election Day Open Thread! Plus, some inane crap from Heartiste on the single white woman vote.

Election day is here at last! Vote! VOTE!! VOOOTTTTTEEEEE!!!1!!!

Well, if you’re American, anyway.

Americans and non-Americans alike, enjoy these ridiculous thoughts on the Single White Woman Vote from our old pal Heartiste.

[S]ingle women’s prime directive is to fulfill their hypergamous impulse for the highest possible status man they can coax into long-term commitment. The party that is perceived as being pro-unrestricted female sexuality, anti-male sexuality, and anti-drone beta male is going to get their vote.

Huh. I guess we can add “hates drone beta males” to Obama’s long list of imaginary crimes, alongside “is a secret Kenyan Muslim,” “wants to take my guns” and “won’t give Donald Trump his school transcripts.” (Actually, that last “crime” is true.)

You would probably not be surprised to learn that not only do single white SWPL chicks just automatically ASSUME everyone in their social circle is an Obama cultist … the first thing that pops in their heads when you ask them why they’re voting for Obama is usually something along the lines of “Romney wants to take away my birth control”. Yeah, these are educated women saying this. Thanks suffrage!

Somehow I doubt the “single white SWPL chicks” that Heartiste spoke to actually think Romney is going to come into their bedrooms and steal their birth control. No doubt they are, rather, concerned with Romney’s altogether non-imaginary plans to make abortion illegal and restrict their access to affordable reproductive health services generally. (Oh, and “SWPL” stands for “stuff white people like,” a reference to the blog of the same name, and seems to be Heartiste’s favorite term for white people who live in urban areas and who aren’t reactionary assholes like himself.)

And now, the required reference to Sex and the City:

The fact is, marriage advocacy (and earlier marriage) is bad for young women’s sexual market value leverage …  A party that embodies the single and seeking alpha cock in the city lifestyle will appeal to them. The party which is perceived (facts don’t really matter in politics) as pushing women to settle down early with a reliable company man and start popping out future video gamers is anathema to the single, economically self-sufficient, white woman sensibility.

Here we come to the crux of Heartiste’s, er, “argument.”

Finally, and perhaps most saliently, single white women see Big Daddy State as a beta provider husband substitute. This has nothing to do with pity for the downtrodden masses and everything to do with “how much money and services I can redirect my way with an assist from the white knight contingent”.

Let’s throw some Evo Psych in the mix:

The single white woman who delays family formation finds herself battling her ancient subterranean limbic rhythms which always and everywhere guide her to seek out potential mates who could provide resources for her and her children, particularly when she is burdened by pregnancy and mostly unable (at least as would have been the case in the ancestral environment) to fully provide for herself. The single white woman, lacking the beta provider hubby (ironically, mostly by her own hand) seeks to fill his absence with the alternative — the looming Big Man tribal leader, which in modern America is the federal government, and its shaman is Obama.

Huh. I thought single women were supposed to have the hots for Obama because he’s such an alpha. But now he’s a beta provider?

Heartiste continues:

Women are naturally redistributionist because women are naturally self-aggrandizing and self-entitled, as befits their higher reproductive worth. And, more controversially, a very bad man like myself would say that women are naturally comfortable in quasi-harem arrangements, which is what the single woman concubine-government alpha provider relationship amounts to. And just like an alpha provider/protector, the government is very good at forcibly extracting tribute from the beta male masses.

Huh. I thought alphas weren’t interested in providing or protecting. Now they’ve become the ultimate White Knights?

In effect, Big Government is at once the alpha male tribal leader and the beta provider sucker who happily assumes the cuckold role as step-father to the single mom’s cadbaggage.

Wait, what? Dude, if you have to twist your definitions of alpha and beta like taffy to apply them to this situation, it may be an indication that all this alpha/beta shit just might be complete bullshit to begin with.

Now Heartiste comes to the issue of race. You may wish to avert your eyes.

[T]he final, and most emotionally laden, variable in this equation is the black man angle. Both sides in this long-running debate have their points. My take from ground-level recon is that the people claiming single white women love alpha black men are overstating their case, and the people claiming single white women would never think of hooking up with “lower class, less accomplished, thug” black men are overstating theirs. White women do find plenty of black men physically exciting. And smarter white women do hesitate to date black men because of a very reasonable fear that, should a warpling issue from the union (this is always in the back of women’s minds, despite the easy availability of contraceptives), the black man will be less likely than the white man to stick around and care for her in her time of need.

And this weird racist stew relates to the election how? Because Obama is black?

As far as a I can tell, contra white nationalist hopes and dreams, single white women have ZERO concept of loyalty for their white men. Try to explain to your typical single white woman about the importance of loyalty to her men and of the idea of genetically preserving the white race’s unique winning attributes, and you may as well be a Martian spurting goo all over her.

Or maybe, just maybe, the single white women you’re trying to “explain” this to are looking at you funny because you’re a creepy racist prick who thinks that he and other white dudes should have a say in how you use your vagina?

Now, in practice, one could argue that unmarried white women exercise a de facto loyalty to their men, because most white chicks date white men, and studies have shown that white women are the most resistant to dating outside their race. But how long will this hold? Census data points to a slow but inexorable increase in out-marrying and out-dating by white women (and white men). If there is some subconscious racial loyalty or primal preference acting to steer the tingles of single white women (and I believe there is), it is showing signs of withering under a coordinated cultural assault that has made even broaching the topic the equivalent of condemning oneself to the social gulag.

Heartiste returns to the issue of politics. Well, politics and the single white female vagina:

Btw, from a tingles-first perspective, a lot of white women thought Bill Clinton was way sexier than they currently think of Barack Obama’s sex appeal. This isn’t a looks or race thing… Bill just had more sensual, oozing charm than Barry. Chicks dig charming mofos.

Heartiste offers this sad lament on the waning power of white male voters:

A lot of white men and white married couples are going to break for Romney, but the social and racial and familial demographics of the country are moving with such force in the opposite direction that the white man vote, no matter how consolidated, is going to eventually get swamped by the undertow and rendered irrelevant for many, many election cycles to come (assuming there will continue to be a country in existence that is capable of holding elections).

Yes, it’s true that as the US becomes more demographically diverse, white men will make up a smaller portion of the electorate, and thus, as a demographic group, will have less influence. That’s kind of how democracy works.

Heartiste ends it all with this baffling apocalyptic conclusion, bringing it all back to the issue of … tariffs?

When the white man “wakes up” to this fact, I predict secession movements will sprout up all around the country, descaling the nation to more socially and tribally congenial entities. But most of us reading this will be dead by that time. And it will be too late, regardless. In the meantime, expect populism to rise again, and tariffs to become the talk of the townhall. A billion Chinese is a lot of surplus cheap labor to churn through before wages equilibrate. There will be blood in the interim.

Heartiste, maybe you should just stay home and rest today. You sound a bit feverish.