Apparently, using contraceptives turns couples into The Lockhorns. Or so this post from CL on Complementarian Loners suggests:
Contraception reduces sex to recreation – ‘fun’ without the deep joy that a mindfully lived life can bring – and thus this percolates through the relationship as a whole. All those little jabs at each other, the passive-aggressive ways of letting the other know that you are hurting, and the hiding are part of this mentality. We’ve all done it, just as most of us have contracepted.
I’m sure many people will think this a stretch, but when we withhold something as central as our fertility from each other, what else do we withhold? Self-censored thought is like contraceptive sex. Married couples are often reluctant to be completely honest with each other and are apt to become defensive with each other, ending up – or even starting out – as adversaries rather than team mates. Since the so-called sexual revolution (think about that term for a moment), women and men have not needed each other the way they used to. Separating sexual intercourse from procreation has also separated us from each other – and from our essential selves – in a real way.
Yeah, it’s probably better for married couples to eschew contraception entirely and have eight gazillion children. And then get a reality show.
Even if you’re working -as I suspect CL is- from the belief that happiness (or fun) are temporary and not at all like the concept of joy as defined by the Bible, it’s still completely mockable bullshit.
Maybe it is a religious ecstasy thing like the Our Lady of Fatima children.
Futrelle posts something I agree with 100%. I am disappoint.
Without contraceptives I wouldn’t be “giving” myself to anyone, at least anyone with a penis. Somehow I doubt that would make CL any happier.
The use or non-use of contraception is a personal matter. None of CL’s business, or anyone else’s. If CL has a problem with it, that’s his own affair. Not everyone wants to be a parent, or is emotionally prepared for such. Children shouldn’t be an accident. And fun/joy is also personal. What CL finds to be joyful may be quite onerous to another. What I find joyful CL may find frivolous.
Get over yourself, CL.
Also, I read the Comments Policy and have posted several comments that do not violate the official commenting policy…..So why am I still on moderation, EH?
Here’s Pure Joy:
Dipshitzu, I know right? I did some stuff that wasn’t illegal recently but my parole officer still won’t go away. WTF!
Because you’re a sockpuppet.
Everyone: did I ban Nomless outright, or just put him on moderation? I can’t remember. Because this is him again.
Hey manboobz Happy Halloween!!! Lets all wear costumes of different types of contraception. Promote safe sex and make reactionary MRAs uncomfortable xD
Nameless was not banned but I could be misremembering since there have been so very many trolls.
I thought you banned him after the video incident. Ban him anyway.
Who the fuck is Nomeless/Nameless?
I have a name, and it is:……………………………..Dipshitzu!
*bah-dum ching*
There are lots of different types of happy, but I don’t see what’s the point in saying that some are less happy than other kinds. It all depends on what people like.
Quackers: Oooooh! I call dressing up as Sex With People Who Have The Same Bits As You!
If CL thinks forgoing contraception forces couples to be vulnerable and communicative, she should try polyamory.
I agree with everyone who’s pointed out that birth control can facilitate intimacy. Getting an IUD so that my boyfriend could forgo condoms was one of the most vulnerable things I’ve ever done for somebody else, both because the IUD itself hurt at first, and also because I did it so we could be fluid-bonded.
It’s astounding how CL and 7man can’t imagine the possibility of anyone’s experience differing from their own. This is the crux of what drives me crazy about their blog – the way they both go on about how “uncommon” they both are, but then go on giving advice/rants as though their own insights are universal.
I just get the image of a very dignified looking cat in Louis XVI era clothing and a giant powdered wig, holding out an empty crystal food bowl and introducing himself as “Monsieur Sans Noms”.
And this article is so ridiculous it’s hard to really say anything about it other than that it’s ridiculous. Since when can people only experience one kind of fun each?
I am taken by the idea that people withhold their fertility by contracepting and thereby reduce the potential for joy.
I am inclined to think that if one can’t enjoy sexual relations with their partner unless they are at risk there is already so much wrong in the relationship that the partner self censoring their thought should come as no surprise. Creepy d00d is creepy.
I’m feeling really lazy, so I’m just going to dress up like a douchebag.
I dressed up as a man who follows a woman around, does her bidding, and would happily spit himself upon the spears of her enemies.
He also talks to a hamster.
I think I’m upholding my part of the “make reactionary MRAS uncomfortable” bit. Well, it’s more “honk off MRAs in general,” actually.
Nomless/Dipshitzu is re-banned, then.
Yeah, me pregnant is like nine months of the WORST PMS ever. I’m pretty sure that my partner is very happy I’m witholding that experience from him. Also, there’s little joy in having kids you don’t want/cant care for.
CL needs to do a better job of showing how a fertility treatment relates to the strong emotion of joy…I’ve read the article twice and it still makes no sense.
Wait, we’re taking contraception (sorry, ‘contracepting’) now? I thought we were just pretending to use it and lying to our rich alpha boyfriends so as to ensnare them and milk them for child support? Someone tell me if we’re onto something different so I can get on board!
On that note: Does poking holes in condoms count as intimacy or not? Feminist conspiracies. So frustrating!
conteaceived. CONTRACEIVED. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH CONTRACEIVED.
unrelated: -ceive is my favorite bound stem.
This reminds me of the time I had to sit through a presentation sponsored by the Catholic Church where the speaker claimed that he had persuaded a friend to not be gay by telling him that he would never know true happiness without being in a heterosexual marriage for the purpose of procreation.
Somehow I am not convinced that I will never know true joy without getting repeatedly pregnant until it probably kills me.