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Spearheader: The real victims of predatory female teachers are the guys “hot teachers” AREN’T having sex with

Van Halen videos are not reality.

Men’s Rights activists are constantly posting links to stories of women committing horrible crimes – what some have taken to calling “women behaving badly” (WBB) stories – and almost reveling in the fact that, yes, some women do indeed do horrible shit.

MRAs are particularly obsessed with stories of female high school teachers preying on their underage students. While this partly reflects the general MRA obsession with badly behaving women, MRAs do actually make a legitimate point here: while most people understand that female victims of predatory male teachers are indeed victims, quite a few people regard male victims of attractive female teachers as “lucky” boys who get to live out the schoolboy fantasy of having sex with a “hot teacher.”

So when I saw that The Spearhead was featuring  a guest post titled “The Hot Teacher Myth, and How it Hurts Men,” I expected to see some version of this argument being made. What I found was one of the strangest and creepiest things I’ve ever read: Walt Forest seems to think that the real problem is that so few guys get the opportunity to have sex with “hot teachers.”

Forest points out (correctly) that cases or female teachers sexually abusing their male students are actually fairly rare. He goes on to argue that all the attention paid to predatory “hot teachers” in the media promotes the “myth” that male and female sexuality is fundamentally the same. This, he suggests, is bad for men:

How does this myth hurt men?

Set aside for a moment the image of the hot teacher and her underage male victim which the media force on us with such insistence. Instead imagine a far more common scenario: a young man (or for that matter, a not-so-young man) who does NOT have sex with his teacher, but desperately wants to.

I’m not quite sure in what world lots of young and not-so-young men – not teenage boys — are being taught by “hot” high school teachers. Perhaps the “hot teachers” here are actually “hot” college professors or grad students and the men in question are college students? Or is Forest simply trying to avoid the question of sexual abuse by pretending that underage boys are “men?”

Forest continues to explore the plight of this poor fellow:

In fact this man would like to have sex with many of the women around him, but — with very few exceptions — he cannot.

Well, yeah. There are 3.5 billion girls and women on planet earth; even the most advanced Lothario is only going to be having sex with a very small fraction of a percentage of them.

But alas, the media tortures this hapless undersexed fellow by suggesting that women like sex as much as men, even though the overwhelming majority of women won’t actually have sex with him personally.

[O]ur media and increasingly ordinary people assure this man that women he hardly knows (even his teachers) will suddenly lead him by the hand to their beds for no other reason than the pleasure of having sex with him, “no strings attached.” This kind of thing is ordinary, we tell him. It “happens all the time.”

Well, in porn it does. Most people are aware that porn isn’t reality.

When it does not happen—of course it never does—he is left to think that he must be something less than an ordinary man. If he dares to voice his disappointment, we tell him that he places excessive importance on sex, views women as “objects,” and the rest of the standard pop feminist rhetoric designed to put the blame back on the man himself. We blame the man because we MUST if we are to avoid blaming ourselves for all the lies we are telling him.

I’m pretty sure that most men – or even most teenage boys — don’t spend their days wondering why their lives aren’t exactly like Penthouse Letters.

These lies hurt men. It is difficult for anyone who has not suffered this hurt first hand to understand just how bad it can be, but from my own experience I believe these lies are helping to create the ongoing male suicide epidemic (which our society, tellingly, also refuses to acknowledge).

Men kill themselves because “hot teachers” don’t seduce them on a regular basis? Really?

These lies certainly make countless men miserable. For this reason I believe exposing the myth that male and female sexualities are the same should be the men’s movement’s first priority. Hot teacher stories obviously make up only a tiny part of this myth, but because they are such a blatant distortion of reality, they are a good place to start.

Quite a few of The Spearhead’s regulars were put off by the, well, weirdness of Forest’s post. But others chimed in to agree. Indeed, Arpagus actually took Forest’s strange argument a step further, earning himself some actual Spearhead downvotes in the process:

[T]he female sex offender charade has been the most frustrating aspect of feminism for me personally, not least because I have experienced a great deal of sexual frustration in the past, and nothing can be more offensive to celibate men than pretending there is an epidemic of female rapists. …

It is a most distinctive sign of cultural decline that we have forgotten that pussy is good. This ancient wisdom has been brainwashed out of our culture by feminism. Now pussy is rape and abuse just like male sexuality is. Traditional society might have punished an adulteress for a student-teacher type of relationship, but they certainly did not indulge in any charade about the boy being a “victim,” because they knew he got lucky if you consider the sex itself. There are reasons why a society might want to proscribe those kinds of relationships, but the boy being a “victim” of “abuse” is most assuredly not one of them.

MRA elder “Zed” gently corrected Arpagus in a comment that was nearly as strange, suggesting that predatory “hot teachers”

are not being punished for “harming the boys”, that is just a convenient excuse. What they are actually being punished for is giving away free pussy.

If you take a close look at the outrage among men these days for having to pay full price for used pussy, their anger is divided between the guys who got it at a price far lower than they paid for it, and the women who gave it away to another man for less than they charged him for it.

It would be like a rich man buying an entire wine cellar of Dom Pérignon at the going price of $200+/bottle – savoring what indulgence his wealth could buy him – only to find his kitchen wench had been pouring free flutes for the pool boy.

Or, like it a member of the Medellín Cartel discovering that their US connection to whom they shipped 2 metric tons of high quality cocaine, was laying out lines for her friends.

She is not being punished for “harming the boys” (HA!) but for black marketing the product that the pussy cartel owns.

The women are being punished FOR allowing the boys to get lucky, and get some without having to lay out 3 months salary for an engagement ring and $35,000 on a Bridezilla party for cupcake.

Now that’s the kind of comment that gets upvotes on The Spearhead, and makes Zed a revered figure in the Men’s Rights movement.

EDITED TO ADD: Not sure how I missed this, but Arpagus is apparently the truly creepy Norwegian blogger Eivind Berge, whom we’ve met before.

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princessbonbon
12 years ago

I thought American Dad did a bit on that one WordSpinner.

someguy bored with your schtick
someguy bored with your schtick
12 years ago

“I’m not quite sure in what world lots of young and not-so-young men – not teenage boys — are being taught by “hot” high school teachers. Perhaps the “hot teachers” here are actually “hot” college professors or grad students and the men in question are college students? Or is Forest simply trying to avoid the question of sexual abuse by pretending that underage boys are “men?””

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should infantilize teenaged men or women as you do here.

Any society that allows 17 year olds to join the army, 18 year olds to vote, really should not be thinking of these people as anything less than men or women.

That has nothing to do with the age of consent.

Historically, cross culturally, many of us come from cultures that considered us men and women at much younger ages, and still celebrate and honor that and expect more and more adult behaviors from you at young ages. “Today, I am a man”. This weekend will be my daughter’s turn.

So right or wrong, creepy or not, ignoring the Spearhead, I think you do your readers a disservice by somehow claiming it is wrong to differentiate between teenage boys and young men.

So as far as that goes, I had a couple of hot teachers I would have loved to have fumbled around with as early as middle school. In high school, nah, mostly remember by civics teacher, Mr. Benson, he was terrific and taught be a great deal about the struggles for civil liberties, civil disobedience, and the wrongs of dehumanization of your opponents.

Anyway, keep up the good fight.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

Is this man… seriously upset that rapists aren’t going about raping him? For fuck’s sake. For his sake I wish he never learns how horrible a wish that is.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Dear lord, they can’t even talk about boys being raped without making it about how awful it is that men aren’t getting laid enough. And connecting it to suicide, ferchrissakes.

Also, note that the very first comment on the article, by “Lysander Spooner,” directly supports prison rape as punishment. No downvotes. At all. No challenges that I saw searching for anyone responding to Spooner by name.

BONUS: anti-semitism:

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/10/08/the-hot-teacher-myth-and-how-it-hurts-men/#comment-169685

Dafuq is that fracking place. Da. Fuq. How am I still amazed at the Spearhead’s awfulness?

rjjspesh
12 years ago

Sex is not a ‘human right’. Sex is for people who connect with other people in mutual desire

I hate MRAs and their wackness

nerdypants
nerdypants
12 years ago

I wonder what Sharon would have to say about all this.

Naira
Naira
12 years ago

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should infantilize teenaged men or women as you do here.

Any society that allows 17 year olds to join the army, 18 year olds to vote, really should not be thinking of these people as anything less than men or women.

Ah yes…because younger kids are never raped by their teachers. A 13 year old boy should be high-fived for scoring, right? /sarcasm.

You are right about one thing: it isn’t about the age of consent.

IT IS ABOUT CONSENT.

If you haven’t noticed, there is a power disparity between adults and kids, teachers and students. The female teachers who rape male students are problematic because they can manipulate the situation they are in to take advantage of the kids.

Even if two people are over the age of consent, the manipulation of the power disparity is still a problem and can lead to rape.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

@ Wordspinner

Since I’ve worked around the music industry, I’ve seen it happen (kid encounters celebrity crush, celebrity crush wants sex). The kids will often go along with it, because they’re kids and starstruck and intimidated, but the aftermath really isn’t pretty, and I think very badly of the celebrities involved for taking advantage of the kids in question. And it is taking advantage, even if the kid thinks that they want it to happen.

In terms of the OP, here we have yet another case of MRAs not understanding power dynamics. One of the reasons why almost every country in the world outlaws relationships between teachers and the kids they teach (this often happens even in countries where some of the kids are over the age of consent) is that there’s such a huge power imbalance, and so many ways for that to lead to manipulation and coercion. Since MRAs don’t care about consent and think coercion is totally fine, this doesn’t bother them, but it should.

Part of the problem is probably also that they’re so sexist they can’t imagine a situation in which a woman has more power than a boy, even if the boy is a teenager and the woman is responsible for whether or not he’s able to graduate.

Jayem Griffin
12 years ago

When your analogies make your reader more confused, you are not doing it right. What the hell is that second comment actually saying?

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
12 years ago

@CassandraSays–that’s awful, but about what I would expect the outcome to be with celebrity + kid with crush.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
12 years ago

This weekend will be my daughter’s turn.

*starts shrieking*

@Unpaid Help

Yeah, that’s the real problem with my plan, especially since some of those are threatened or endangered species. I just really like the combo of rocky remoteness with copious bird shit. Maybe an abandoned aircraft carrier parked off the coast of a rocky bird-ridden island?

Ian
Ian
12 years ago

Aworld, I wouldn’t worry about that because you’re only 19. I’m 39 and still a virgin and think I’m going to be worse than that guy in the film about the 40 year old virgin if I don’t do something soon. My anxiety about sex and everything else in life seems to be related to a terrible experience I had at 14.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

@Wordspinner

Yep, it’s depressingly common, and it’s the aspect of the music industry I dislike the most.

@Nepenthe

Seconds shrieking. I really don’t want to know what he’s planning to do to his daughter, since it’s not like any of us can do anything to stop it.

Nada
Nada
12 years ago

Hope to see this in an anti-suicide PSA

‘Also the men that in a world of sluts are lonely and lost to the point of suicide need to lean game. They also need to be encouraged to spend time with players and pick up artist. Young men should be taught the nature of women and of the society they live in. Hell just getting the red pill of awareness and understanding misandry would prevent at least half if not more and go beyond just stopping a man from killing himself. It would give the man what he needs to see what he has within himself to allow him to thrive.’

I also love this sad little writing tic in here. Caps are for closers!

‘, I would like for Boys to be taught by Men and girls to be taught by women in the future. This greatly helps education of Males and gives Boys a much needed increase in esteem, especially when Men tend to teach in ways that make sense to Males (females tend to be memorizing, not truly understanding, and can’t handle the “rowdiness” of Boys, so they stomp their dreams in the dust. This is why schools tend to suck as they skew mostly female in the teacher department).’

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Nepenthe

That sounds workable. As long as they have microwaves they’ll be set for life, amirite?

@CassandraSays: “Since MRAs don’t care about consent and think coercion is totally fine, this doesn’t bother them, but it should.”

I don’t think MRAs really believe rape is a thing. More I read of them, the more it seems that way.

Steele
Steele
12 years ago

Certainly, a society that impresses upon young boys that their worth is measured by the “tail” they get will lead to self-destructive behavior. This insidious misandry reaches them early on – I don’t doubt that this could lead to desiring unhealthy relationships as elaborated upon in the OP. It appears as though this author has not yet broken free of said misandry; has not yet taken the red pill, as it were.

Shiraz
Shiraz
12 years ago

Why in the hell don’t they just take up a collection and pay some nice sex workers a visit? Because dear god, the endless whining….it huuuuurts.
I guess their arguements sound non-sensical because they’re trying to duck and weave away from any self-examination.
If all women are sluts, and they’re not getting any, I guess that might mean there’s something unappealing about them. But they avoid that conclusion by going all tweaker and reciting myths about how women’s frontal lobes light up when she meets a man with money. Or how bitches be crazy, and that’s why “Shelly from high school never looked at me — she liked that jerk football player. I’m nice! But women are wired to be illogical, so…”
I mean seriously, fellas, you don’t sound very nice to me. When you become so self-pitying that you can’t listen to a story about a kid who has sex with his teacher without going — “Waaaaah! Why couldn’t that be meeeeee?!”
Yeah, seriously ladies, why wouldn’t you want to be with a dudebro like that? He thinks female sexuality is something unproveable, like the Loch Ness Monster or Bigfoot. That sounds fun, yeah? Using phrases like “used pussies” is also very attractive and makes women want to date you. (sarcasm off)

And who says shit like this?

“…I have experienced a great deal of sexual frustration in the past, and nothing can be more offensive to celibate men than pretending there is an epidemic of female rapists.”

Neurite
Neurite
12 years ago

WordSpinner, forget fifteen… when I was thirteen, I constantly had crushes on guys in their twenties (frequently friends/admirers of my older sister, who was in her twenties herself). I’m certain that’s not all that unusual either. I would try and flirt with them, in an awkward and childish way I’m sure, but I’m sure plenty of them realized what I was trying to do.

I thank the heavens so very much that all of them were decent, upstanding guys who did not take me up on my sad little attempts to throw myself at them, and instead shooed me along as nicely as possible. Just because a kid *thinks* they are ready for something, does not mean that they are. I certainly had no idea what I was really messing with, and if I had succeeded, it would have been all kinds of bad for me. ::shudder::

Alas, as teen pregnancy stats show, not all hormonal teenagers are as lucky as I was. There are apparently plenty of skeezy adults who do not understand that a flirty thirteen-year-old is not a carte blanche to abuse the emotional confusion/raging hormones of a teen, but instead a moment that calls on them to be a responsible adult and (gently) say “nope, not a good idea”.

So yeah, “lots of teen boys fantasize about having sex with their teacher” does not mean that it is somehow okay if a teacher actually has sex with a teen boy.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Yay, Steele is back! And he’s calling the objectification of women misandry like it doesn’t harm women way more than men.

Truly, he is the shining light of the MRM.

Shiraz
Shiraz
12 years ago

“It appears as though this author has not yet broken free of said misandry; has not yet taken the red pill, as it were.”

No one in real life talks like this. No one.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I hope that Steele has a lush mustache that he can twirl as he monologues. It seems fitting.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Fancy wishing a poor innocent moustache the fate of living on Steele’s lip …

Shiraz
Shiraz
12 years ago

I don’t see a moustache in his case. I see shades and a leather trench.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

“It appears as though this author has not yet broken free of said misandry; has not yet taken the red pill, as it were.”

I love how, whenever I bring up misogyny in MRA spaces, they always throw a dictionary at me and are like “it’s not the hatred of women so there” and are militant dictionary users riiiiiiiight up until the time comes to call something misandry. Then it can be about systems and ideas as much as they like.