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Spearheader: The real victims of predatory female teachers are the guys “hot teachers” AREN’T having sex with

Van Halen videos are not reality.

Men’s Rights activists are constantly posting links to stories of women committing horrible crimes – what some have taken to calling “women behaving badly” (WBB) stories – and almost reveling in the fact that, yes, some women do indeed do horrible shit.

MRAs are particularly obsessed with stories of female high school teachers preying on their underage students. While this partly reflects the general MRA obsession with badly behaving women, MRAs do actually make a legitimate point here: while most people understand that female victims of predatory male teachers are indeed victims, quite a few people regard male victims of attractive female teachers as “lucky” boys who get to live out the schoolboy fantasy of having sex with a “hot teacher.”

So when I saw that The Spearhead was featuring  a guest post titled “The Hot Teacher Myth, and How it Hurts Men,” I expected to see some version of this argument being made. What I found was one of the strangest and creepiest things I’ve ever read: Walt Forest seems to think that the real problem is that so few guys get the opportunity to have sex with “hot teachers.”

Forest points out (correctly) that cases or female teachers sexually abusing their male students are actually fairly rare. He goes on to argue that all the attention paid to predatory “hot teachers” in the media promotes the “myth” that male and female sexuality is fundamentally the same. This, he suggests, is bad for men:

How does this myth hurt men?

Set aside for a moment the image of the hot teacher and her underage male victim which the media force on us with such insistence. Instead imagine a far more common scenario: a young man (or for that matter, a not-so-young man) who does NOT have sex with his teacher, but desperately wants to.

I’m not quite sure in what world lots of young and not-so-young men – not teenage boys — are being taught by “hot” high school teachers. Perhaps the “hot teachers” here are actually “hot” college professors or grad students and the men in question are college students? Or is Forest simply trying to avoid the question of sexual abuse by pretending that underage boys are “men?”

Forest continues to explore the plight of this poor fellow:

In fact this man would like to have sex with many of the women around him, but — with very few exceptions — he cannot.

Well, yeah. There are 3.5 billion girls and women on planet earth; even the most advanced Lothario is only going to be having sex with a very small fraction of a percentage of them.

But alas, the media tortures this hapless undersexed fellow by suggesting that women like sex as much as men, even though the overwhelming majority of women won’t actually have sex with him personally.

[O]ur media and increasingly ordinary people assure this man that women he hardly knows (even his teachers) will suddenly lead him by the hand to their beds for no other reason than the pleasure of having sex with him, “no strings attached.” This kind of thing is ordinary, we tell him. It “happens all the time.”

Well, in porn it does. Most people are aware that porn isn’t reality.

When it does not happen—of course it never does—he is left to think that he must be something less than an ordinary man. If he dares to voice his disappointment, we tell him that he places excessive importance on sex, views women as “objects,” and the rest of the standard pop feminist rhetoric designed to put the blame back on the man himself. We blame the man because we MUST if we are to avoid blaming ourselves for all the lies we are telling him.

I’m pretty sure that most men – or even most teenage boys — don’t spend their days wondering why their lives aren’t exactly like Penthouse Letters.

These lies hurt men. It is difficult for anyone who has not suffered this hurt first hand to understand just how bad it can be, but from my own experience I believe these lies are helping to create the ongoing male suicide epidemic (which our society, tellingly, also refuses to acknowledge).

Men kill themselves because “hot teachers” don’t seduce them on a regular basis? Really?

These lies certainly make countless men miserable. For this reason I believe exposing the myth that male and female sexualities are the same should be the men’s movement’s first priority. Hot teacher stories obviously make up only a tiny part of this myth, but because they are such a blatant distortion of reality, they are a good place to start.

Quite a few of The Spearhead’s regulars were put off by the, well, weirdness of Forest’s post. But others chimed in to agree. Indeed, Arpagus actually took Forest’s strange argument a step further, earning himself some actual Spearhead downvotes in the process:

[T]he female sex offender charade has been the most frustrating aspect of feminism for me personally, not least because I have experienced a great deal of sexual frustration in the past, and nothing can be more offensive to celibate men than pretending there is an epidemic of female rapists. …

It is a most distinctive sign of cultural decline that we have forgotten that pussy is good. This ancient wisdom has been brainwashed out of our culture by feminism. Now pussy is rape and abuse just like male sexuality is. Traditional society might have punished an adulteress for a student-teacher type of relationship, but they certainly did not indulge in any charade about the boy being a “victim,” because they knew he got lucky if you consider the sex itself. There are reasons why a society might want to proscribe those kinds of relationships, but the boy being a “victim” of “abuse” is most assuredly not one of them.

MRA elder “Zed” gently corrected Arpagus in a comment that was nearly as strange, suggesting that predatory “hot teachers”

are not being punished for “harming the boys”, that is just a convenient excuse. What they are actually being punished for is giving away free pussy.

If you take a close look at the outrage among men these days for having to pay full price for used pussy, their anger is divided between the guys who got it at a price far lower than they paid for it, and the women who gave it away to another man for less than they charged him for it.

It would be like a rich man buying an entire wine cellar of Dom Pérignon at the going price of $200+/bottle – savoring what indulgence his wealth could buy him – only to find his kitchen wench had been pouring free flutes for the pool boy.

Or, like it a member of the Medellín Cartel discovering that their US connection to whom they shipped 2 metric tons of high quality cocaine, was laying out lines for her friends.

She is not being punished for “harming the boys” (HA!) but for black marketing the product that the pussy cartel owns.

The women are being punished FOR allowing the boys to get lucky, and get some without having to lay out 3 months salary for an engagement ring and $35,000 on a Bridezilla party for cupcake.

Now that’s the kind of comment that gets upvotes on The Spearhead, and makes Zed a revered figure in the Men’s Rights movement.

EDITED TO ADD: Not sure how I missed this, but Arpagus is apparently the truly creepy Norwegian blogger Eivind Berge, whom we’ve met before.

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chibigodzilla
8 years ago

College students are adults and cannot be dictated to by their employee or can that employee make rules that wouldn’t fly in the real world.

Um, that’s exactly how it works in the real world; if you have a both a romantic and a professtional (that is to say, you work with them directly) relationship with someone it creates a conflict of interest which can cause legal problems if it can be shown that the romantic relationship affected behavior in the personal relationship. So, companies institute polices to prevent said legal issues.

lauralot89
8 years ago

Here’s some more magic, non-Pell-begging cures to Meow Mix jingles:

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

If he ever starts growing up, he’ll go away, and find people he likes to hang out with.

The drawback with that plan would be the difficulty of finding people who’d like hanging out with him. If he’s as pathetically delusional, dishonest, ignorant and malicious face to face as he is on internet boards, he’d be friendless.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

And don’t you love the way he assumes that him posting a video = everyone actually watching it? 😀

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

A real doctor/lawyer/professor would know that the correct way to banish the Meow Mix song is via targeted application of Nyan Cat.

ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

How about some smooth jazz? Now with 100% more nyan.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

A real doctor or lawyer would know that Meow Mix is not going to override Springsteen earworms.

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

Aw, I missed Dr.* Pell’s exit via bizarre hypnosis reference.

Your inductions need work, buddy.

* – lol no

pecunium
8 years ago

“Ian”: I guest thatit’s diferent at Podunk 13th grade aka junior “college

Unh-hunh. One of the best Journalism schools in the US is a “Junior” college.

Students who attend a “junior” college graduate with honors more than people who don’t.

Facts, what pesky little things.

telling someone who they can screw does violate their civil rights.

Which is why sexual harassment is illegal.

Dance faster.

And yes, I have degrees in both law and medicine.

Right…. so explain the practical aspects of Brady; as they apply to malpractice.

But you can’t because… you aren’t really a doctor, or a lawyer, or a counselor, or a dead movie star.

pecunium
8 years ago

The drawback with that plan would be the difficulty of finding people who’d like hanging out with him. If he’s as pathetically delusional, dishonest, ignorant and malicious face to face as he is on internet boards, he’d be friendless.

If he grows up… that will fade.

It’s a really BIG if.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

It’s a huge if.

Say, fellow Aussies – does anyone else do a bit of a double-take when they see “Pell” and think of our own beloved *cough* but not-quite-that-stupid Cardinal Pell?

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Rats, I missed the little guy’s temper tantrum. He must of gotten into some pop rocks and chased it with a Pepsi.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Kool-aid + extra sugar, that’s our Pell.

khymchanur
khymchanur
8 years ago

It doesn’t matter what is in a contract or agreement if it violates the civil rights of a student or instructor. And telling someone who they can screw does violate their civil rights.

College students and professors being prohibited from having sex with each other would be a violation of their civil rights? What planet does he come from?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

The one where “putting your dick into whatever female you fancy” is an absolute civil right, at least for rich white dudes. (Nobody else counts.)

Magpie
Magpie
8 years ago

You mean it isn’t Cardinal Pell!?!?!?!

Ian
Ian
8 years ago

How about cat pictures? 🙂 This is from the Net but that’s what she looks like.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Scottish_Fold_P1050446e.jpg

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
8 years ago

You mean it isn’t Cardinal Pell!?!?!?!

“Cardinal” is just about the only high status position he hasn’t claimed, with the possible exception of “Field Marshal”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

“Cardinal” is just about the only high status position he hasn’t claimed, with the possible exception of “Field Marshal”

LOL I can see it now – he’ll post a photo of Cardinal Pell and say that it’s really truly him!

Or his cousin George, maybe.

Magpie – my boss has met Cardinal Pell. He reckons he’s not the brightest spark.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
8 years ago

Then maybe they are related.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Geez, I hope not. I mean, the Cardinal’s cringeworthy enough, but PelltheOther? Bleargh … though at least this Pell’s not Australian. One small mercy. 😉

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

I was searching around on the Stockholm University website and couldn’t find a student-teacher-dating-prohibition anywhere. I actually don’t think we have that kind of rule. (Although, it would OBVIOUSLY be wrong to date someone whom you were gonna grade. I guess people are just supposed to understand that?).
I do know of a case where a professor married a phDstudent. They were in different subjects though, so there was no professional relation between them.

By the troll’s logic in this thread, it’s gotta be the case then that Stockholm University is much better than Harvard, Yale and Princeton, since apparently high-ranking university’s don’t have these kinds of rules.

Katelisa
Katelisa
8 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen: I think it is strongly discouraged, frowned upon and to be avoided if possible, but I am fairly sure that teachers and students at Swedish universities are fully allowed to do whatever they want to with their hearts and genitals in their spare time, unless it can be proven that it affects the student’s results in some way. I looked through the online rules from my alma mater, and couldn’t find anything mentioning it.

This might be time to point out that university-students in Sweden tend to be slightly older, as gap-years for work and travel is very common.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

@Katelisa: Yeah, in most freshman classes there’s gonna be a lot of twenty-year-olds, but also some thirty-year-olds, the occasional fifty-year-old etc.

But I also think that in general, there are no explicit rules in Swedish companies prohibiting, say, a boss having a romance with an employé, while in the USA such rules are common… right?

Katelisa
Katelisa
8 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen: I don’t think so, no. Generally, it’s hard to fire someone in Sweden, even for something work-related, so as long as no actual professional misconduct can be proven I think the only backlash one would face would be interpersonal. I suspect that Swedes have been very reluctant to muddle the work/private life borders in that way, but I’m not sure why.

After having discussed religion a few threads back I started noticing that we really are big on our privacy here, aren’t we?

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

@Katelisa: Yeah, it’s interesting the cultural differences you notice, even between two western countries where one is so heavily culturally influenced by the other as in the case of the US and Sweden.

sthlivingincolor
8 years ago

Cripes. He’s not even Senator Claiborne Pell, who should be someone that all undergraduates revere (yay for the Pell Grant!)

And I’ve been an adjunct instructor and the rules most certainly do apply to them. And when we talk about “rules” at universities, we aren’t talking about law; we’re talking about employer policy and “at will” employees (like most of us) have to follow them or lose our jobs. There is no “civil right” to sleep with whoever you want to, much as MRAs might like there to be (women’s freedom to consent or not just pisses them off no end).

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Pell is prolly Cardinal Field Marshal Pell, MD, Ph D, QC, etc, etc …

Dipshitzu
Dipshitzu
8 years ago

So, hot women suck because they’re not giving it up to enough men and they also suck for giving it away for free too much?

Unless one is a sex worker, I thought sex was always free.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong?

It is not always free even if you aren’t a sex worker. Sex is often used as a form of currency by certain people; particularly in the context of a relationship. I once new a man who mentioned that one evening his wife said to him: “honey I’ll suck you off if you do the dishes tonight!” The fact that there isn’t money involved does not make automatically make something ‘free’.

That being said I don’t see why MRAs are making such a big deal out of hawt teachers who bang underage male HS students. I honestly think that this practice isn’t such a big deal and I don’t buy that bullshit that because this particular law uses the language of feminism by describing as statutory rape that it is automatically about power. Teenage boys often seek out adult women as first time sexual partners so they can brag to their buddies about what a “stud” they are.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

Teenage boys often seek out adult women as first time sexual partners so they can brag to their buddies about what a “stud” they are.

So? Adults still have a responsibility not to have sex with teenagers.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Dipshitzu: what an accurate name.

pecunium
8 years ago

So…. it’s not a big deal because those kids are “lucky”, or is it that they were, “looking for it”.

And rape; who cares? Exploitation of a power differential, no big deal. The Law…? Pish-tosh, it’s not as if the law actually matters.

What a dipshit tzu are.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Hey now, hellkell and pecunium, that’s not fair. Shitzus can be cute sometimes.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Exquisitzu dipshitzu.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Dipshit by name, dipshit by nature, it seems. And woefully ignorant (or is that willfully ignorant?) of what statutory rape, or meaningful consent, or power imbalances, or duty of care, are about.

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