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Heartiste on the evils of women’s suffrage, and why single women tingle for Obama. Or maybe don’t?

Who’s the real Alpha Dog?

Over on Chateau Heartiste, the adult man who actually goes by the name “Heartiste” is getting into the spirit of the election season by going all Ann Coulter on us with a post on how terrible it is that single women can vote – mainly because they vote for Democrats, which Hearty attributes to the lack of real men in their lives.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money and don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security), you turn to the next facsimile — the substitute alpha male who promises limitless resources for you and your future sprogling. This substitute alpha male is The State, and its shaman emissary is Obama. …

Single women are bankrupting this country. And they don’t give a shit, as long as they get theirs, which includes tingles.

By “tingles” he’s referring to what the dudes of the manosphere like for some reason  to call “gina tingles,” with “gina” short for “vagina.” After a brief excursion into racism – he’s apparently afraid the country will be overrun with swarthy Democratic-voting immigrant hordes – Hearty gives us this report from the front lines. Sorry, the front swimming pool:

I swim among single women — mostly white, mostly educated and/or intelligent, in their 20s and 30s — and I can assure you they have a rock hard clit boner for Obama and leftie policies in general. Romney may as well be the anti-Christ when he’s not some buffoon at whom they happily lob insipid snark bombs. …

This is the reality we live in. It’s status whoring and self-righteous hypocritical white girl preening all the way down. The people have suckled on the Big Daddy Government teat for too long, and they ain’t giving it up.

The Big Daddy teat?

Single women are the worst teat sucklers because it is in the nature of women, before they have had their estrogenic rocket fuel burned out of them by marriage and children, to extract as many resources from the tribe’s public pot as they can manage, and to dispense as much of the public till to sympathetic groups in a showy self-annihilation of pathological altruism.

Hearty’s metaphors here have grown so baroque here that I’m having a little trouble visualizing what he thinks is going on. Can someone draw me a picture of white girls suckling on Big Daddy’s teat while using rocket fuel to extract resources from a large pot?

And men, the majority of them generally being weak-willed betas all too happy to dance to young babes’ tunes, have neither the balls nor the heart to call them out for their vapid politics. Many white men are so manboobed they actually yearn for their dispossession, both demographically and politically, like some cuckold fetishist lubing his palm with his salty tears and pulling forlornly at his purple pud in the corner as he gets psychologically ass-rammed by his gleeful tormentors.

Classy, dude, but thanks for including me in your weird cuckold/rape fantasy.

As the day must yield to night, so did suffrage yield to anarcho-tyranny.

Meanwhile, every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.

Hearty wraps up his piece with a thoroughly muddled conclusion. On the one hand, he takes hope in the fact that by general consensus Romney “out-alpha’ed Obama in the debate.” And chicks love that, right?

It’ll be interesting to see if the polls budge among women in favor of Romney because he looked like a boss disciplining a lackadaisical employee during the debate. Obama’s head nodding while Romney dressed him down was a huge beta tell, and women pick up on that subtle body language stuff. If they are sufficiently turned off, this election could be up for grabs.

Never mind that immediately before this, Hearty declared that

Obama still holds the trump card of being the guy who represents the dream of every girl to have a harem of eunuch beta male orbiters showering her with emotional support and money while demanding nothing in return.

I’m a bit confused. I thought that in Heartisteland women only tingled for alphas. And at the start of this post Obama was the ultimate Alpha who was giving women “tingles” and “rock-hard clit boners” – or was it just the Big Daddy state that was the Alpha (while simultaneously serving as a wet nurse for the nation’s women and other ne’er-do-wells). Now Obama holds the trump card because he a Beta? Or maybe doesn’t, also because he’s a Beta?

I’ve given up trying to understand these guys. The only constant in their arguments are that women (and men who don’t hate women) are awful; everything else flows from this.

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Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
12 years ago

herb means a soft, pasty, somewhat effeminate urban/suburban white guy. These guys are usually skinny-fat and are SWPLs.

Roissy used to write some good stuff, even if I didn’t always agree with him. It seems like lately he has gotten both more angry and more pathetic. I think it’s because he is aging and can’t “game” women like he used to. He doesn’t even have blog groupies anymore.

I also suspect he is hurting financially because for the first time he started outright asking for donations. I remember back when he didn’t even have a donate button, he only put one up after repeated calls from his readers to add one. He finally put it up but didn’t pan handle. Now he is actively soliciting money from his readers. It’s sad. Everything about that site is sad.

It’s still a good read from time to time though.

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

What on earth is an SWPL? My searches indicate it’s either the abbreviation for the Stuff White People Like website or, derived from that, a somewhat derogatory term for white people that seems to pretty much be the same as “yuppie”, so why not just say that instead?

Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
12 years ago

You can be a yuppie and not be an SWPL tool. Also, not all SWPLs are yuppies, some are too young or are only marginally employed. They are like hipsters than yuppies. Though not all SWPLs are true hipsters.

SWPLs are the lowest form of human life.

cloudiah
12 years ago

SWPLs are the lowest form of human life.

Says the racist.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
12 years ago

Hmm… Otiose morphed. Still the same asshole though.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

SWPLs are, as far as I can tell, Roissy’s term for what I call Upper-Middle-Class White Progressives. You know, the people who like reading the New York Times on Sunday morning, yoga, Asian fusion restaurants, Raising Awareness, and sending their kids to grad school in the liberal arts.

I am one born and bred. 🙂

Fitzy
Fitzy
12 years ago

Well, guys, at least we can say that Otis is equal-opportunity. He seems to hate pretty much everybody.

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

PUAs really annoy me with their constant use of terms they’ve invented, especially the acronyms/initialisms. It’s like watching someone talk about the stock market or a roleplaying game’s stats, which just adds another layer of dehumanization to their already creepy stuff.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Not to mention that it makes them even less coherent than they are already. Which, come to think of it, might not be a bad thing, if it puts people off bothering to read them. :/

katz
12 years ago

So is it pronounced “swupple,” or what?

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@katz
Urban Dictionary says “swipple”, actually.

Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
12 years ago

PUA’s didn’t invent the term SWPL. It was formed by the whole alt-right blogsphere (which has some overlap with PUA’s, but generally not MRA’s). The alt-right blogsphere is sometimes referred to as the “Steveosphere”, after Steve Sailer. Despite the overlap, the groups are not the same and most Steveospherians hold PUA’s in contempt.

Amanda Marcotte along with the whores on Jizabel and Feministing are the ultimate SWPLs. Not all SWPLs are that Feminist/Libtarded, but those ladies are SWPLism taken to its logical extreme.

SWPLs are, as far as I can tell, Roissy’s term for what I call Upper-Middle-Class White Progressives. You know, the people who like reading the New York Times on Sunday morning, yoga, Asian fusion restaurants, Raising Awareness, and sending their kids to grad school in the liberal arts.

That almost sounds like a parody, but yes. Did you type that post on a Mac? Whenever “The Wire” gets mentioned do you immediately add that it is the best show of all time?

katz
12 years ago

Otis seems to be under the impression that we care about the history and vocabulary of his stupid little movement. Maybe that belongs on the Bingo card.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
12 years ago

Okay, so SWPL is clearly an acronym. What words to the individual letters stand for?

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@Unimaginative
Stuff White People Like. It’s a website mocking yuppies/hipsters, from what I understand.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

Don’t mind me, I’m just necro-ing this thread b/c there’s another debate happening tonight and I sorta want to rant here as well as on twitter XD

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

I necro’d the wrong thread XD

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Necro and thread makes me think of zombies in Armani suits …

Heath
Heath
12 years ago

Everything Heartiste posts on twitter and his blog is just silly. He is a silly little boy who knows nothing about being a successful male. Obviously hurt deeply by a woman in the past, he has set out to post filthy lies about women. And all woman that aren’t attracted to his lame “game”, or if any woman is the least bit offended with what he says, must be an ugly crone, or dare I say a feminist!!! He is a tool. Real men do not post to a blog and twitter all day about how legendary they are, they actually live their lives.

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