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Heartiste on the evils of women’s suffrage, and why single women tingle for Obama. Or maybe don’t?

Who’s the real Alpha Dog?

Over on Chateau Heartiste, the adult man who actually goes by the name “Heartiste” is getting into the spirit of the election season by going all Ann Coulter on us with a post on how terrible it is that single women can vote – mainly because they vote for Democrats, which Hearty attributes to the lack of real men in their lives.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money and don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security), you turn to the next facsimile — the substitute alpha male who promises limitless resources for you and your future sprogling. This substitute alpha male is The State, and its shaman emissary is Obama. …

Single women are bankrupting this country. And they don’t give a shit, as long as they get theirs, which includes tingles.

By “tingles” he’s referring to what the dudes of the manosphere like for some reason  to call “gina tingles,” with “gina” short for “vagina.” After a brief excursion into racism – he’s apparently afraid the country will be overrun with swarthy Democratic-voting immigrant hordes – Hearty gives us this report from the front lines. Sorry, the front swimming pool:

I swim among single women — mostly white, mostly educated and/or intelligent, in their 20s and 30s — and I can assure you they have a rock hard clit boner for Obama and leftie policies in general. Romney may as well be the anti-Christ when he’s not some buffoon at whom they happily lob insipid snark bombs. …

This is the reality we live in. It’s status whoring and self-righteous hypocritical white girl preening all the way down. The people have suckled on the Big Daddy Government teat for too long, and they ain’t giving it up.

The Big Daddy teat?

Single women are the worst teat sucklers because it is in the nature of women, before they have had their estrogenic rocket fuel burned out of them by marriage and children, to extract as many resources from the tribe’s public pot as they can manage, and to dispense as much of the public till to sympathetic groups in a showy self-annihilation of pathological altruism.

Hearty’s metaphors here have grown so baroque here that I’m having a little trouble visualizing what he thinks is going on. Can someone draw me a picture of white girls suckling on Big Daddy’s teat while using rocket fuel to extract resources from a large pot?

And men, the majority of them generally being weak-willed betas all too happy to dance to young babes’ tunes, have neither the balls nor the heart to call them out for their vapid politics. Many white men are so manboobed they actually yearn for their dispossession, both demographically and politically, like some cuckold fetishist lubing his palm with his salty tears and pulling forlornly at his purple pud in the corner as he gets psychologically ass-rammed by his gleeful tormentors.

Classy, dude, but thanks for including me in your weird cuckold/rape fantasy.

As the day must yield to night, so did suffrage yield to anarcho-tyranny.

Meanwhile, every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.

Hearty wraps up his piece with a thoroughly muddled conclusion. On the one hand, he takes hope in the fact that by general consensus Romney “out-alpha’ed Obama in the debate.” And chicks love that, right?

It’ll be interesting to see if the polls budge among women in favor of Romney because he looked like a boss disciplining a lackadaisical employee during the debate. Obama’s head nodding while Romney dressed him down was a huge beta tell, and women pick up on that subtle body language stuff. If they are sufficiently turned off, this election could be up for grabs.

Never mind that immediately before this, Hearty declared that

Obama still holds the trump card of being the guy who represents the dream of every girl to have a harem of eunuch beta male orbiters showering her with emotional support and money while demanding nothing in return.

I’m a bit confused. I thought that in Heartisteland women only tingled for alphas. And at the start of this post Obama was the ultimate Alpha who was giving women “tingles” and “rock-hard clit boners” – or was it just the Big Daddy state that was the Alpha (while simultaneously serving as a wet nurse for the nation’s women and other ne’er-do-wells). Now Obama holds the trump card because he a Beta? Or maybe doesn’t, also because he’s a Beta?

I’ve given up trying to understand these guys. The only constant in their arguments are that women (and men who don’t hate women) are awful; everything else flows from this.

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lauralot89
8 years ago

Wait, I thought Romney was supposed to be the alpha male here. Wasn’t there some article about how all his wealth must make our silly little lady parts all tingly and therefore we should vote for him?

Would it kill these guys to keep their misogyny even a little bit consistent?

blitzgal
8 years ago

It’s “hypocritical” to support the candidate who will allow me to make decisions about my own body when the other guy would not? Yeah, that’s called basic logic, duder.

Also, what a dipshit. He admits that single women are making their own money now, but tries to say that we still want a sugar daddy in our lives.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

Anarcho-tyranny? Even if you hate both anarchism and tyranny, shouldn’t you be aware that they’re DIFFERENT?

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

The funny thing is that his theory could actually explain why Swedish politics are so way left of US politics. Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage Swedish women marry much later than American ones. Which means there’s a higher percentage of single women in the Swedish population than in the American one. *S* (No, I’m not serious… I think political scientists would have way better explanations.)

ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

Sometimes I wonder if there needs to be a website where it lists quotes from porn and quotes from PUA/MRA/MGTOW rants, and you have to guess whether each quote is “Erotica or Rhetoric.”

Maude LL
Maude LL
8 years ago

The use of “anarcho-tyranny” encapsulates well Roissy’s knowledge of political science… But then he’s with the factually challenged, so it’s not an impossible political system that’s gonna stop him.

pecunium
8 years ago

And Roissy reveals one of his real problems with the modern world.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money…

Those pesky women, earning money and not needing a man to rule their lives/support them.

But then he says he hopes the women vote, because they are turned on by Romney…. Didn’t we see some dude at Politico spouting that?

It would be more in keeping (and consistent) if he said the women ought to stay home, because they had lost faith in Obama; that would let the men make the decisions.

pecunium
8 years ago

blitzgal: It’s “hypocritical” to support the candidate who will allow me to make decisions about my own body when the other guy would not?

Not hypocritical, “illogical”, because evolution made you inferior, and unable to make good decisions about your body.

drashizu
drashizu
8 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Anarcho-tyranny? I noticed that, too. If he’s making up self-contradictory sociopolitical models now, I want to try! How about… communo-capitalism. Free-market socialism? A libertarian nanny state!

drashizu
drashizu
8 years ago

I broke my HTML 🙁

Malte
8 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen Communazism. Republican monarchism. Compassionate conservatism.

Maude LL
Maude LL
8 years ago

@pecunium
I think it was on the Daily Caller, not Politico.

[The weirdest was the writer of that “Romney like a boss” article in a panel on Chris Hayes on msnbc. He confirmed it was not a joke… Unless he went meta, and saying it wasn’t a joke was the joke.]

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
8 years ago

1. Congratulations on your verbhood! 😀

2. If I, as a single young woman, voted with my lust, then judging by my past voting record I would be gay. I’m not gay, so… ?????

Amused
8 years ago

Didn’t Roissy work for a government agency? Everything else aside, it absolutely floors me when people who depend on the taxpayers for their livelihood bitch and moan about the “welfare state”.

AlexB
AlexB
8 years ago

What is a “middle class compliment and cuddle herb?”

I know this guy generally makes no sense, but can he really have intended to write “herb?”

pecunium
8 years ago

I think he meant, “Herb”, as in he name. As if anyone named Herb was some sort of dweeb.

captainbathrobe
8 years ago

@ Amused,

I work at a non-profit that receives most its funding from the government. One of my co-workers sports a Ron Paul sticker on her car. There just seems to be some kind of disconnect there, or she has no idea what Ron Paul actually believes.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Damn women and their constant need for roads, education, student loans, pell grants, OSHA regulations, FDIC, FAA, FCC, international trade treaties, FDA food regulation, public parks, etc etc.

If only men were considered we would not have them because manly men have no need to eat untainted meat, college educations, trade treaties….

Although I really really want to seem him explain how the most alpha man ever Theodore Roosevelt was really a beta because he created the national park system, fought for the FDA and did some trust busting. All of which were Big Daddy Government projects.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

@Drashizu: You managed to get a real political system in your collection! 😀 Freemarket socialism – the workers own the means of production, but there are different companies that compete with each other on a market.

ShadetheDruid
8 years ago

..pell grants.. – princessbonbon

Is that where the government gives you money to troll internet blogs and invent wild stories about yourself under really badly concealed fake identities?

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Is that where the government gives you money to troll internet blogs and invent wild stories about yourself under really badly concealed fake identities?

Oddly enough no and if that was the case, it would be a case of wasteful government spending.

Instead it is a program open to all persons who qualify (in other words men have access too) to help pay for their college education.

katz
8 years ago

Anarcho-tyranny? Even if you hate both anarchism and tyranny, shouldn’t you be aware that they’re DIFFERENT?

You could use that term to refer to a place where the lack of structure allows certain people (rich people or warlords) to exploit and control the rest of the populace.

But I don’t think that’s what he’s referring to.

drashizu
drashizu
8 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen:

Hey, cool! I didn’t even realize that was a thing 🙂 Actually, it doesn’t sound half bad.

I guess voting with my tingles must make me gay, too, or maybe a little bi, because I’m looking at my list of people I want to vote to my state’s and federal legislatures and 4 out of the 5 are women.

Except not, because neither voting nor human sexuality works that way.

Heartiste cracks me up.

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

Heartiste has to frame everything through the lens of women wanting to fuck stuff because it is the only way he knows how to relate to them any more.

blitzgal
8 years ago

UPDATE to a previous post by David — Justin Vacula has stepped down from his leadership position with the Secular Coalition.

thenatfantastic
8 years ago

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money and don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security), you turn to the next facsimile — the substitute alpha male who promises limitless resources for you and your future sprogling. This substitute alpha male is The State, and its shaman emissary is Obama. …

If you don’t need an alpha male in your life because you can provide for yourself, why would you need a substitute alpha male in your life to provide for you? I just… what?!

Single women are the worst teat sucklers because it is in the nature of women, before they have had their estrogenic rocket fuel burned out of them by marriage and children, to extract as many resources from the tribe’s public pot as they can manage, and to dispense as much of the public till to sympathetic groups in a showy self-annihilation of pathological altruism.

*squints* So… all women ever have taken so many resources from the community that the communities have been annihilated, yet a) no community ever has wised up to this phenomenon, and apparently get new resources every couple of months for new young women to ‘annihilate’ and b) human beings still exist.

I think he might be slightly wrong about this.

AlexB
AlexB
8 years ago

Thanks Pecunium!
Looked at that way it has about Roissy’s normal level of coherence and logic, I guess.
Whatever this guy’s strong point may be, it’s not written comminication.

RubyHypatia
RubyHypatia
8 years ago

Maybe if there weren’t so much misogyny on the right, women wouldn’t vote for Dems as much.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

I’d sort of like to have a time-machine and kidnap this guy and others like him and just drop them in the 1980:s Sweden where I grew up. As an experiment, to see if they’ll die of shock.

When I grew up, there was a state monopoly on
– TV
– radio (newspapers, however, were free)
– trains
– buses
– alcohol
– pharmacy
– phone company
– electric company
– schools
– hospitals
– plus the fact that local government administrations were by far the biggest landlord

(I’m sure I’ve missed some monopolies, since there were so many of them.)

And yeah, it was also the case that there was a governmental censorship bureau that had to approve every movie before it was shown on cinema. They were solely concerned with violence. Movies where lots of people were killed (such as many American action movies) would be adults only. Sometimes they’d release some incomprehensible version where they’d cut out most of the violence for a younger audience. Sometimes they’d ban a movie outright. This happened to, for instance, the Texas chainsaw massacre and the Stallone movie Cobra. Meanwhile, one of the most popular children’s movies of the decade had a scene with a bunch of guys running around stark naked in the snow with their cocks fully showing.

So that’s how I grew up! And I’m not saying it’s necessarily a good idea to have this many monopolies in an economy (although I think many of them worked better than the free market competition that has now replaced most of them). Free TV and free radio are good for instance, and banning action movies was stupid. It’s just that it was so very far from being some terrible Hell on Earth.

An Inconvenient Truth
An Inconvenient Truth
8 years ago

What is a “middle class compliment and cuddle herb?”

Herb is short for herbivore, representing a particularly effete brand of beta male.

(I tinyurl’ed that because Jabba the Fut filters out Heartiste links in comments, which is odd when the OP is about him).

ozymandias42
8 years ago

AlexB: A “herb” is a man who is a beta but still has a hot girlfriend. Instead of taking this as disproof of his theory, Heartiste simply decided to direct his hate that direction too.

AB
AB
8 years ago

Dvärghundspossen:

Meanwhile, one of the most popular children’s movies of the decade had a scene with a bunch of guys running around stark naked in the snow with their cocks fully showing.

Ronja Rövardotter?

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

Wow, Choofles. People look up to this guy? The insecurity required for any of these posts in staggering.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

Sure thing AB! Tried to look that scene up on youtube, but apparently youtube censors naked men running around in the snow.

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

oh ok, here’s the ‘herb’ definition from hard-pressed himself, found from one of those links.

*herb, noun – a schlumpy, nondescript white guy with no fashion sense, chin, or sexual gravitas, who has managed to hook up with a cute chick. Herbs usually wear satchels to nightclubs and button down collar shirts with the Hanes undershirt herb2.jpgpeaking through at the neck. They love anything khaki and are not embarrassed to be seen wearing fanny packs or sandals. A super herb takes it up a notch with white athletic socks and an extra-large t-shirt to hide his man boobs. They have a walk that can be best described as looking like they are carrying a load in their pants. They will annoy you just by being there. The fact that a herb will have usually managed to score a cute yuppie chick will fill you with violent feelings toward him.

That last sentence is extremely telling.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Is it wrong to hope to Roissy gets some disease that causes his fingers to fall off? His abuse of the language is epic.

David, his hate crush on you is showing again. Aw.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Herbs sound awesome, where can I get one?

blitzgal
8 years ago

Actually, Truthy, the truth is that I don’t filter Heartiste links, but that you’re on moderation for making a prison rape joke.

Aaaand the jackass clearly learned nothing, because he didn’t even bother to find out why he was on moderation. But when he is inevitably banned, it will be TOTALLY UNFAIR.

An Inconvenient Truth
An Inconvenient Truth
8 years ago

Actually, Truthy, the truth is that I don’t filter Heartiste links, but that you’re on moderation for making a prison rape joke.

I’m aware of your overreaction to my one-liner, Tubs. This isn’t about that. I’m saying that comments that include Heartiste links get eaten.

blitzgal
8 years ago

Oh, and love the gender essentialism you jackasses continue to show. Eating vegetables is for GIRLS. Manly men eat MEAT!

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Seriuosly, if I were single, I’d go for the Herb over Heartiste. No contest.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
8 years ago

@Blitzgal

And then they get incredibly manly scurvy! Hooray!

blitzgal
8 years ago

@Creative Writing Student

Seriously, one of their big points of evidence that society is misandrist is the fact that men die sooner than women. But then they also push this nonsense meme that eating healthy is weak and feminine. SEE A CONNECTION HERE, DIPSTICKS?!

leftwingfox
8 years ago

Wow… people actually listen to this guy and claim feminists are “misandric”? No-one has a lower view of men than these jerks.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
8 years ago

@Blitzgal

Apparently they do not. Maybe they think feminist hit squads or something, wiping out all men aged over 78.
It’s not like there are more important things for feminists to focus on, not in their eyes at least.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Well he is right about the feminist hit squads. We totally spend our weekends hunting down little old men. That is why Arizona has no old men. Not even ones who have overstayed their welcome in office.

blitzgal
8 years ago

And NWO will now link to those students in Sweden who TOTALLY KILLED THAT ONE DUDE ON TAPE!!! IT’S THE SCUM MANIFESTO IN REAL LIFE!!!

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