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Heartiste on the evils of women’s suffrage, and why single women tingle for Obama. Or maybe don’t?

Who’s the real Alpha Dog?

Over on Chateau Heartiste, the adult man who actually goes by the name “Heartiste” is getting into the spirit of the election season by going all Ann Coulter on us with a post on how terrible it is that single women can vote – mainly because they vote for Democrats, which Hearty attributes to the lack of real men in their lives.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money and don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security), you turn to the next facsimile — the substitute alpha male who promises limitless resources for you and your future sprogling. This substitute alpha male is The State, and its shaman emissary is Obama. …

Single women are bankrupting this country. And they don’t give a shit, as long as they get theirs, which includes tingles.

By “tingles” he’s referring to what the dudes of the manosphere like for some reason  to call “gina tingles,” with “gina” short for “vagina.” After a brief excursion into racism – he’s apparently afraid the country will be overrun with swarthy Democratic-voting immigrant hordes – Hearty gives us this report from the front lines. Sorry, the front swimming pool:

I swim among single women — mostly white, mostly educated and/or intelligent, in their 20s and 30s — and I can assure you they have a rock hard clit boner for Obama and leftie policies in general. Romney may as well be the anti-Christ when he’s not some buffoon at whom they happily lob insipid snark bombs. …

This is the reality we live in. It’s status whoring and self-righteous hypocritical white girl preening all the way down. The people have suckled on the Big Daddy Government teat for too long, and they ain’t giving it up.

The Big Daddy teat?

Single women are the worst teat sucklers because it is in the nature of women, before they have had their estrogenic rocket fuel burned out of them by marriage and children, to extract as many resources from the tribe’s public pot as they can manage, and to dispense as much of the public till to sympathetic groups in a showy self-annihilation of pathological altruism.

Hearty’s metaphors here have grown so baroque here that I’m having a little trouble visualizing what he thinks is going on. Can someone draw me a picture of white girls suckling on Big Daddy’s teat while using rocket fuel to extract resources from a large pot?

And men, the majority of them generally being weak-willed betas all too happy to dance to young babes’ tunes, have neither the balls nor the heart to call them out for their vapid politics. Many white men are so manboobed they actually yearn for their dispossession, both demographically and politically, like some cuckold fetishist lubing his palm with his salty tears and pulling forlornly at his purple pud in the corner as he gets psychologically ass-rammed by his gleeful tormentors.

Classy, dude, but thanks for including me in your weird cuckold/rape fantasy.

As the day must yield to night, so did suffrage yield to anarcho-tyranny.

Meanwhile, every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.

Hearty wraps up his piece with a thoroughly muddled conclusion. On the one hand, he takes hope in the fact that by general consensus Romney “out-alpha’ed Obama in the debate.” And chicks love that, right?

It’ll be interesting to see if the polls budge among women in favor of Romney because he looked like a boss disciplining a lackadaisical employee during the debate. Obama’s head nodding while Romney dressed him down was a huge beta tell, and women pick up on that subtle body language stuff. If they are sufficiently turned off, this election could be up for grabs.

Never mind that immediately before this, Hearty declared that

Obama still holds the trump card of being the guy who represents the dream of every girl to have a harem of eunuch beta male orbiters showering her with emotional support and money while demanding nothing in return.

I’m a bit confused. I thought that in Heartisteland women only tingled for alphas. And at the start of this post Obama was the ultimate Alpha who was giving women “tingles” and “rock-hard clit boners” – or was it just the Big Daddy state that was the Alpha (while simultaneously serving as a wet nurse for the nation’s women and other ne’er-do-wells). Now Obama holds the trump card because he a Beta? Or maybe doesn’t, also because he’s a Beta?

I’ve given up trying to understand these guys. The only constant in their arguments are that women (and men who don’t hate women) are awful; everything else flows from this.

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lauralot89
12 years ago

Wait, I thought Romney was supposed to be the alpha male here. Wasn’t there some article about how all his wealth must make our silly little lady parts all tingly and therefore we should vote for him?

Would it kill these guys to keep their misogyny even a little bit consistent?

blitzgal
12 years ago

It’s “hypocritical” to support the candidate who will allow me to make decisions about my own body when the other guy would not? Yeah, that’s called basic logic, duder.

Also, what a dipshit. He admits that single women are making their own money now, but tries to say that we still want a sugar daddy in our lives.

Dvärghundspossen
12 years ago

Anarcho-tyranny? Even if you hate both anarchism and tyranny, shouldn’t you be aware that they’re DIFFERENT?

Dvärghundspossen
12 years ago

The funny thing is that his theory could actually explain why Swedish politics are so way left of US politics. Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage Swedish women marry much later than American ones. Which means there’s a higher percentage of single women in the Swedish population than in the American one. *S* (No, I’m not serious… I think political scientists would have way better explanations.)

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Sometimes I wonder if there needs to be a website where it lists quotes from porn and quotes from PUA/MRA/MGTOW rants, and you have to guess whether each quote is “Erotica or Rhetoric.”

Maude LL
12 years ago

The use of “anarcho-tyranny” encapsulates well Roissy’s knowledge of political science… But then he’s with the factually challenged, so it’s not an impossible political system that’s gonna stop him.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

And Roissy reveals one of his real problems with the modern world.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money…

Those pesky women, earning money and not needing a man to rule their lives/support them.

But then he says he hopes the women vote, because they are turned on by Romney…. Didn’t we see some dude at Politico spouting that?

It would be more in keeping (and consistent) if he said the women ought to stay home, because they had lost faith in Obama; that would let the men make the decisions.

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

blitzgal: It’s “hypocritical” to support the candidate who will allow me to make decisions about my own body when the other guy would not?

Not hypocritical, “illogical”, because evolution made you inferior, and unable to make good decisions about your body.

drashizu
12 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Anarcho-tyranny? I noticed that, too. If he’s making up self-contradictory sociopolitical models now, I want to try! How about… communo-capitalism. Free-market socialism? A libertarian nanny state!

drashizu
12 years ago

I broke my HTML 🙁

Malte
12 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen Communazism. Republican monarchism. Compassionate conservatism.

Maude LL
12 years ago

@pecunium
I think it was on the Daily Caller, not Politico.

[The weirdest was the writer of that “Romney like a boss” article in a panel on Chris Hayes on msnbc. He confirmed it was not a joke… Unless he went meta, and saying it wasn’t a joke was the joke.]

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
12 years ago

1. Congratulations on your verbhood! 😀

2. If I, as a single young woman, voted with my lust, then judging by my past voting record I would be gay. I’m not gay, so… ?????

Amused
12 years ago

Didn’t Roissy work for a government agency? Everything else aside, it absolutely floors me when people who depend on the taxpayers for their livelihood bitch and moan about the “welfare state”.

AlexB
AlexB
12 years ago

What is a “middle class compliment and cuddle herb?”

I know this guy generally makes no sense, but can he really have intended to write “herb?”

pecunium
pecunium
12 years ago

I think he meant, “Herb”, as in he name. As if anyone named Herb was some sort of dweeb.

captainbathrobe
12 years ago

@ Amused,

I work at a non-profit that receives most its funding from the government. One of my co-workers sports a Ron Paul sticker on her car. There just seems to be some kind of disconnect there, or she has no idea what Ron Paul actually believes.

princessbonbon
12 years ago

Damn women and their constant need for roads, education, student loans, pell grants, OSHA regulations, FDIC, FAA, FCC, international trade treaties, FDA food regulation, public parks, etc etc.

If only men were considered we would not have them because manly men have no need to eat untainted meat, college educations, trade treaties….

Although I really really want to seem him explain how the most alpha man ever Theodore Roosevelt was really a beta because he created the national park system, fought for the FDA and did some trust busting. All of which were Big Daddy Government projects.

Dvärghundspossen
12 years ago

@Drashizu: You managed to get a real political system in your collection! 😀 Freemarket socialism – the workers own the means of production, but there are different companies that compete with each other on a market.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

..pell grants.. – princessbonbon

Is that where the government gives you money to troll internet blogs and invent wild stories about yourself under really badly concealed fake identities?

princessbonbon
12 years ago

Is that where the government gives you money to troll internet blogs and invent wild stories about yourself under really badly concealed fake identities?

Oddly enough no and if that was the case, it would be a case of wasteful government spending.

Instead it is a program open to all persons who qualify (in other words men have access too) to help pay for their college education.

katz
12 years ago

Anarcho-tyranny? Even if you hate both anarchism and tyranny, shouldn’t you be aware that they’re DIFFERENT?

You could use that term to refer to a place where the lack of structure allows certain people (rich people or warlords) to exploit and control the rest of the populace.

But I don’t think that’s what he’s referring to.

drashizu
12 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen:

Hey, cool! I didn’t even realize that was a thing 🙂 Actually, it doesn’t sound half bad.

I guess voting with my tingles must make me gay, too, or maybe a little bi, because I’m looking at my list of people I want to vote to my state’s and federal legislatures and 4 out of the 5 are women.

Except not, because neither voting nor human sexuality works that way.

Heartiste cracks me up.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

Heartiste has to frame everything through the lens of women wanting to fuck stuff because it is the only way he knows how to relate to them any more.

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