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Heartiste on the evils of women’s suffrage, and why single women tingle for Obama. Or maybe don’t?

Who’s the real Alpha Dog?

Over on Chateau Heartiste, the adult man who actually goes by the name “Heartiste” is getting into the spirit of the election season by going all Ann Coulter on us with a post on how terrible it is that single women can vote – mainly because they vote for Democrats, which Hearty attributes to the lack of real men in their lives.

When you don’t have an alpha male in your personal life to admire and rely on for support (partly because you make your own money and don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security), you turn to the next facsimile — the substitute alpha male who promises limitless resources for you and your future sprogling. This substitute alpha male is The State, and its shaman emissary is Obama. …

Single women are bankrupting this country. And they don’t give a shit, as long as they get theirs, which includes tingles.

By “tingles” he’s referring to what the dudes of the manosphere like for some reason  to call “gina tingles,” with “gina” short for “vagina.” After a brief excursion into racism – he’s apparently afraid the country will be overrun with swarthy Democratic-voting immigrant hordes – Hearty gives us this report from the front lines. Sorry, the front swimming pool:

I swim among single women — mostly white, mostly educated and/or intelligent, in their 20s and 30s — and I can assure you they have a rock hard clit boner for Obama and leftie policies in general. Romney may as well be the anti-Christ when he’s not some buffoon at whom they happily lob insipid snark bombs. …

This is the reality we live in. It’s status whoring and self-righteous hypocritical white girl preening all the way down. The people have suckled on the Big Daddy Government teat for too long, and they ain’t giving it up.

The Big Daddy teat?

Single women are the worst teat sucklers because it is in the nature of women, before they have had their estrogenic rocket fuel burned out of them by marriage and children, to extract as many resources from the tribe’s public pot as they can manage, and to dispense as much of the public till to sympathetic groups in a showy self-annihilation of pathological altruism.

Hearty’s metaphors here have grown so baroque here that I’m having a little trouble visualizing what he thinks is going on. Can someone draw me a picture of white girls suckling on Big Daddy’s teat while using rocket fuel to extract resources from a large pot?

And men, the majority of them generally being weak-willed betas all too happy to dance to young babes’ tunes, have neither the balls nor the heart to call them out for their vapid politics. Many white men are so manboobed they actually yearn for their dispossession, both demographically and politically, like some cuckold fetishist lubing his palm with his salty tears and pulling forlornly at his purple pud in the corner as he gets psychologically ass-rammed by his gleeful tormentors.

Classy, dude, but thanks for including me in your weird cuckold/rape fantasy.

As the day must yield to night, so did suffrage yield to anarcho-tyranny.

Meanwhile, every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn.

Hearty wraps up his piece with a thoroughly muddled conclusion. On the one hand, he takes hope in the fact that by general consensus Romney “out-alpha’ed Obama in the debate.” And chicks love that, right?

It’ll be interesting to see if the polls budge among women in favor of Romney because he looked like a boss disciplining a lackadaisical employee during the debate. Obama’s head nodding while Romney dressed him down was a huge beta tell, and women pick up on that subtle body language stuff. If they are sufficiently turned off, this election could be up for grabs.

Never mind that immediately before this, Hearty declared that

Obama still holds the trump card of being the guy who represents the dream of every girl to have a harem of eunuch beta male orbiters showering her with emotional support and money while demanding nothing in return.

I’m a bit confused. I thought that in Heartisteland women only tingled for alphas. And at the start of this post Obama was the ultimate Alpha who was giving women “tingles” and “rock-hard clit boners” – or was it just the Big Daddy state that was the Alpha (while simultaneously serving as a wet nurse for the nation’s women and other ne’er-do-wells). Now Obama holds the trump card because he a Beta? Or maybe doesn’t, also because he’s a Beta?

I’ve given up trying to understand these guys. The only constant in their arguments are that women (and men who don’t hate women) are awful; everything else flows from this.

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katz
8 years ago

My other answer was going to be “We don’t know. There aren’t enough of them to find out.”

whataboutthemoonz
8 years ago

Cloudiah: “We can’t go 6 days without an epic troll meltdown here. I’m trying to remember if any threads had some that were particularly entertaining…”

Speaking of, what happened to SteeleButtPole? I’ve been in the mood for some Vile Disgusting Vile and he’s nowhere to be seen 🙁

ozymandias42
8 years ago

lowquacks: No, the most hilariously incompetent ones are the ones where he proposes flirting mechanisms.

Niktike
Niktike
8 years ago

http://christwire.org/2012/03/real-women-dont-masturbate/

Not on topic, but I found this on the internetz. He spend a lot of time describing female masturbation for someone who thinks it’s so “icky.” He also has apparently never heard of a “clitoris.”

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@niktike

Christwire is a parody website.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Was Roissy the one who wrote that ridiculous thing about how being mean to your girlfriend will make her orgasm like a pinata?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

And what a parody that article is! 😀

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Cassandra – the one about pretending to kill her cat, and other things? Yeah, I think that was him, though I dont recall if pinatas were mentioned.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I wish I remembered who wrote the comment about how the ideal look from a woman during sex is part fear and part “Daddy”. Does anyone remember and have a link? I want to point to that whenever anyone is all “no, PUA isn’t harmful”.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

@Katelisa

@Dvärghundspossen&AB: That scene is such a great example of non-sexual nudity, something I am afraid is more and more rare. I like that the human body can be just a body, a tool of life, not something sexual. I think it’s really damn important that kids and adults are reminded of both what human bodies look like without being professionally attractive/photoshopped as well as the fact that all those bodies belong to real people not objects.

Also, it has grown, hairy, floppily be-penised men screaming like little girls while being forced to clean themselves in snow. It is beyond awesome.

Yeah! We should have more nudity for the people, including the children! Just normal, nude bodies hanging around.

girlscientist
girlscientist
8 years ago

Dude’s got it all wrong. The alpha man is Paul Ryan:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTDRmQCHbys&w=560&h=315%5D

Falconer
8 years ago

@girlscientist: then the alpha man wants to starve your granny because we have no money, but give the defense contractors everything they ask for, including cutting-edge aircraft designs that don’t work.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
8 years ago

@Falconer

I can see why Roissy likes him. It’s a scaled-up version of faux-cat-murder and bragging to your equally arsehole friends.

(If this makes no sense then my blood sugar is low.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Makes perfect sense, CWS.

PsychoDan
8 years ago

On the ‘herb’ thing, I assume Heartiste is cribbing it, poorly, from Japanese media. There’s been much ado in recent years about the purported phenomenon of ‘herbivore men’. Except that refers to men who are uninterested in dating and marriage, and not really anything like what Roissy’s using it to mean. It’s more like what MGTOW really like to pretend to be.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

don’t feel a pressing need to have a middle class compliment&cuddle herb around for security

To be honest, I’m thinking he meant “herd” and just did a dyslexic typo. Or am I being too generous?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I initially read “herb” as meaning weed and thought, well, it can be comforting, but you’d need to have your own hydroponic grow operation in order to actually cuddle it.

But yeah, I think he means the herbivore guys and like most MRAs doesn’t really get what they’re about.

Skyrimjob
Skyrimjob
8 years ago

I wish I remembered who wrote the comment about how the ideal look from a woman during sex is part fear and part “Daddy”. Does anyone remember and have a link? I want to point to that whenever anyone is all “no, PUA isn’t harmful”.

Um, just because some PUAs can be assholes or some followers can take it too far, doesn’t mean the whole operation is rotten. Since as it stands, men do virutally all of the approaching, I don’t think it’s surprising or unobjectionable that a service has sprung up to help with that. Capitalism!

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
8 years ago

Um, just because some PUAs can be assholes or some followers can take it too far, doesn’t mean the whole operation is rotten.

On the other hand, it doesn’t mean the whole operation isn’t rotten, as appears to be the case here.

cloudiah
8 years ago

At this point, there is so much evidence that the whole operation is rotten that I feel like the burden of proof is on someone asserting it is not.

Fitzy
Fitzy
8 years ago

Skyrimjob, if the PUA’s were all focused on “This is you can make the most of your appearance,” and “this is how you work up the confidence to approach interesting women,” and stopped right there, I would be 100% with you. Every time I’ve ever approached someone attractive, I’ve been stinking terrified. If my gender was the one who had to make most of the initial encounters, I would probably spend my life either hyperventilating into a paper sack or alone. So I’m all for giving men the extra boost they need to feel comfortable around women.

However, I have yet to find a PUA site that doesn’t promote the whole experience as some kind of trophy hunt. The intent doesn’t seem to be on “find the girl YOU like best,” but instead “find the best girl by MY (the guru’s) rubric.” If that’s not bad enough, they then lay out all sorts of ways to coerce someone into doing exactly what you want, whether it be give a phone number, a kiss, or full on sex, using whatever means necessary. It stops being about a man talking to a woman the moment the woman is reduced to a number on a scorecard and the interaction devolves into a con game. It’s self-esteem through someone else’s undies. And it gives me the creeps.

pecunium
8 years ago

In the proof that, YMMV, I’d say the approaching person in my relationships has been me about half the time. That means half the time is was the women. Now it may be that I am incredibly anomalous, but it may also be that more men are completely obtuse to the overtures women make.

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

if the PUA’s were all focused on “This is you can make the most of your appearance,” and “this is how you work up the confidence to approach interesting women,” and stopped right there…

However, I have yet to find a PUA site that doesn’t promote the whole experience as some kind of trophy hunt.

I had a friend who did teach guys how to approach women and build confidence, without (as far as I know) the creepy PUA stuff. He called himself a lifecoach (and he did do more than help guys meet women), so maybe the PUA who aren’t this type of PUA call themselves something else to get some distance.

girlscientist
girlscientist
8 years ago

@Falconer: Hey, I’m not saying I’d vote for the guy. I just posted a mildly related video that I thought would make people smile. I’m not even American – just fascinated by your elections.

leeloodm
leeloodm
8 years ago

Middle Class Compliment ‘n’ Cuddle Herb is going to be this year’s Tickle Me Elmo, count on it.

Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
8 years ago

herb means a soft, pasty, somewhat effeminate urban/suburban white guy. These guys are usually skinny-fat and are SWPLs.

Roissy used to write some good stuff, even if I didn’t always agree with him. It seems like lately he has gotten both more angry and more pathetic. I think it’s because he is aging and can’t “game” women like he used to. He doesn’t even have blog groupies anymore.

I also suspect he is hurting financially because for the first time he started outright asking for donations. I remember back when he didn’t even have a donate button, he only put one up after repeated calls from his readers to add one. He finally put it up but didn’t pan handle. Now he is actively soliciting money from his readers. It’s sad. Everything about that site is sad.

It’s still a good read from time to time though.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

What on earth is an SWPL? My searches indicate it’s either the abbreviation for the Stuff White People Like website or, derived from that, a somewhat derogatory term for white people that seems to pretty much be the same as “yuppie”, so why not just say that instead?

Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
8 years ago

You can be a yuppie and not be an SWPL tool. Also, not all SWPLs are yuppies, some are too young or are only marginally employed. They are like hipsters than yuppies. Though not all SWPLs are true hipsters.

SWPLs are the lowest form of human life.

cloudiah
8 years ago

SWPLs are the lowest form of human life.

Says the racist.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
8 years ago

Hmm… Otiose morphed. Still the same asshole though.

ozymandias42
8 years ago

SWPLs are, as far as I can tell, Roissy’s term for what I call Upper-Middle-Class White Progressives. You know, the people who like reading the New York Times on Sunday morning, yoga, Asian fusion restaurants, Raising Awareness, and sending their kids to grad school in the liberal arts.

I am one born and bred. 🙂

Fitzy
Fitzy
8 years ago

Well, guys, at least we can say that Otis is equal-opportunity. He seems to hate pretty much everybody.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

PUAs really annoy me with their constant use of terms they’ve invented, especially the acronyms/initialisms. It’s like watching someone talk about the stock market or a roleplaying game’s stats, which just adds another layer of dehumanization to their already creepy stuff.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Not to mention that it makes them even less coherent than they are already. Which, come to think of it, might not be a bad thing, if it puts people off bothering to read them. :/

katz
8 years ago

So is it pronounced “swupple,” or what?

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

@katz
Urban Dictionary says “swipple”, actually.

Otis the Sweaty
Otis the Sweaty
8 years ago

PUA’s didn’t invent the term SWPL. It was formed by the whole alt-right blogsphere (which has some overlap with PUA’s, but generally not MRA’s). The alt-right blogsphere is sometimes referred to as the “Steveosphere”, after Steve Sailer. Despite the overlap, the groups are not the same and most Steveospherians hold PUA’s in contempt.

Amanda Marcotte along with the whores on Jizabel and Feministing are the ultimate SWPLs. Not all SWPLs are that Feminist/Libtarded, but those ladies are SWPLism taken to its logical extreme.

SWPLs are, as far as I can tell, Roissy’s term for what I call Upper-Middle-Class White Progressives. You know, the people who like reading the New York Times on Sunday morning, yoga, Asian fusion restaurants, Raising Awareness, and sending their kids to grad school in the liberal arts.

That almost sounds like a parody, but yes. Did you type that post on a Mac? Whenever “The Wire” gets mentioned do you immediately add that it is the best show of all time?

katz
8 years ago

Otis seems to be under the impression that we care about the history and vocabulary of his stupid little movement. Maybe that belongs on the Bingo card.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
8 years ago

Okay, so SWPL is clearly an acronym. What words to the individual letters stand for?

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

@Unimaginative
Stuff White People Like. It’s a website mocking yuppies/hipsters, from what I understand.

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

Don’t mind me, I’m just necro-ing this thread b/c there’s another debate happening tonight and I sorta want to rant here as well as on twitter XD

inurashii
inurashii
8 years ago

I necro’d the wrong thread XD

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Necro and thread makes me think of zombies in Armani suits …

Heath
Heath
8 years ago

Everything Heartiste posts on twitter and his blog is just silly. He is a silly little boy who knows nothing about being a successful male. Obviously hurt deeply by a woman in the past, he has set out to post filthy lies about women. And all woman that aren’t attracted to his lame “game”, or if any woman is the least bit offended with what he says, must be an ugly crone, or dare I say a feminist!!! He is a tool. Real men do not post to a blog and twitter all day about how legendary they are, they actually live their lives.