Oh, ladies, you poor, deluded ladies, so unaware of the basic facts about yourselves. If only you had an objective source for information on the mystery that is you! Happily, a Men’s Rights Redditor by the name of nigglereddit has decided to throw a giant clue your way:
You may want to step back and take a look at the entire thread here, especially nigglereddit’s original post about the different ways he and his wife have responded to being new parents, in which he mocks his wife for what sounds very much like undiagnosed postpartum depression, blaming her misery not on brain chemistry or sleep deprivation or any of a zillion other things that tend to stress out new mothers but on all those terrible women’s magazines and books and TV shows she reads and/or watches.
Also, he pats himself on the back for being a totally cool and awesome dude who handles both his job and his duties as a father in a super awesome way — way better than his wife handles her new motherhood — because he’s a man, damnit, and totally able to see the world in an objective way.
Needless to day, this meaty slab of misogynist shitthatneverthappened got dozens up upvotes from the r/mensrights regulars.
Thanks to r/againstmensrights for pointing me to this terrible post.
EDITED TO ADD:
Speaking of which, the good folks at r/againstmensrights have assembled these handy guides to the shittiest comments in the shitty r/mensrights thread. A-one and a-two.
oh my goodness, because it says AGAINST MEN’S RIGHTS
so it must mean that it OPPOSES MEN HAVING RIGHTS
Sharon, buddy, you sure have backed us into a corner. We DO hate men that much. Especially those of us who are men, we hate us. This whole success/self-confidence/happiness thing was all a ruse.
Well done.
And what should men want? Here’s another awesome dude’s list of non-negotiables, “which will ensure that I remain single forever” (he’s prolly got that right!!)
Unwaveringly loyal, even if I cheat.
Will retain a trim figure through exercising and eating right.
Knows how to cook and is willing to do so every day.
Accepts that the entire damn house is my ‘man cave.’
Will enthusiastically perform any sex act immediately upon my request.
Keeps the house in order and sparkling clean.
Shuts the fuck up.
Non-educated and not politically minded.
Recognizes my need for bro time and alone time.
Bisexual and open to the idea of threesomes.
No children, past, present or future.
Virgin, but willing to learn.
Curtsies whenever I walk in the room.
Always dresses sexy.
HB10 as a minimum.
Tiptoes around so as not to wake me when I’m sleeping in.
Doesn’t waste my money on things I don’t want.
Gee, what a real catch this guy would be!!
Sharon, from the r/againstmensrights sidebar:
That seems relatively easy to understand. Rights for men? Good thing! The so-called “Men’s Rights Movement?” Bad thing!
HTH!
Since we are legally required to post a certain number of cat videos/day around here…
“Curtsies whenever I walk into the room.”
That has to be a fucking joke.
“Curtsies whenever I walk into a room.”
That list is a parody, right? Or he just wants a sex-slave/maid/hostage who lives under the sink and only eats scraps of bread. Somehow, without money or resources, she’ll retain the abs of a pro-athlete, and look perfectly polished all the time….and never look him in the eye, by god. After sex she’s required to say, “Thank ye, m’ Lord.”
These guys know what they’re doing. They’re so scared shitless of women they come up with this crap to ensure that no self-respecting chick goes near them. Congrats, my friends, your strategy is flawless. Now go back to dreaming up the ideal relationship/hostage situation.
@Pam
…Curtsies? Everything else there is fairly misogynistic fare except for the “tiptoing around” thing, which is so obviously a complaint directed at a certain person, but “curtsies” just makes me think Poe. Isn’t 10 the upper end of the HB scale anyway? We need someone who knows more about model railways here.
What’s with the “I want my girlfriend to be a virgin” thing anyway? It shouldn’t matter if she is, but if he wants his sex acts performed on command to be skillful rather than just enthusiastic he ought to realise virginity won’t help that.
Not that this dude should be allowed anywhere near women. Or men, really.
Triple curtsy ninja!
Would it be alright if she were just a naturally trim person even without putting much effort into a healthy diet or exercise? Something tells me this isn’t really about her health . Something other than the obvious “trim figure” bit.
@lowquacks
HB = Hot Babe
You may have confused that with HO, which is a model railroading scale
And not just a virgin, but a bisexual virgin who is open to the idea of threesomes
@Pam
Yeah, that was on purpose. H0 women might be a bit less dangerous for this dude to be around anyway. Could invite “all the women in my life are H0s!” though.
I don’t see how “bisexual” is necessary anyway. Straight people often want, participate in, and enjoy threesomes involving another of the same gender all the time, don’t they?
@Shiraz
I don’t think it’s a parody so much as a dudebro flexing to gain the admiration of other d00dly d00dz
@cloudiah, truly wonderful cat video.
This, just because you can’t see it too often:
I know someone with postnatal depression right now. What she needs is a posse of these pigs of men to arrive at the door and tell her that guilty as she feels about it right now, she should feel much worse about herself.
And I’ll give her a nice handy weapon. She can let them know what she thinks about their opinions however pleases her best in the moment.
Yeah? Well, my next boy/girlfriend needs to be a unicorn and fart rainbows! Top that exclusivity!
“What’s with the “I want my girlfriend to be a virgin” thing anyway? It shouldn’t matter if she is, but if he wants his sex acts performed on command to be skillful rather than just enthusiastic he ought to realise virginity won’t help that.”
It’s pure insecurity. Not being a virgin can indicate (often, not always) that you are able to relate to other people in real life and build a consent-based mutually satisfying experience.
Imagine how intimidating such a woman is for these men. They’re still getting over the idea that real life ladies have bums and boobies.
Dude in the article says that he’s seen similar lists written by women, which he calls “crazy cat lady lists”. Would it even be possible to be that picky w/r/t cats? I thought it was worth a try.
So, without further ado, here is my awesome catchelor list of non-negotiables, which will ensure that I remain catless forever:
Unconditionally content, even when being bathed.
Will appreciate home-brand cat food as much as the fancy stuff.
Can open his or her own cans and serve a sensible meal size without human assistance.
Accepts that no part of the house is a litter tray.
Will enthusiastically perform any pet trick immediately upon my request.
Keeps his or her fur silky and sparkling clean without needing to be brushed.
Shuts the fuck up..
Recognizes my need for bro time and alone time.
Gregarious and open to the idea of other cats, or even dogs.
No kittens, past, present or future.
Not house-trained, but willing to learn.
Purrs whenever I walk in the room.
Always looks cute.
This fluffy as a minimum.
Tiptoes around so as not to wake me when I’m sleeping in.
Doesn’t develop a catnip addiction.
Oh man, this guy’s gold.
I was under the impression that a “man cave” was like a treehouse for men: No Gurlz Allowed. Or are we, like Mom, allowed in to clean and/or refill the cookie plate?
Either way, this combination of requirements would have me laughing in this dude’s face. Either it’s your space, in which case you are solely responsible for its upkeep, it’s my space (in which case I am), or it’s shared space, in which upkeep duties are also split.
…But there I go trying to impose my misandric standards of reasonable adulthood again.
I bitterly resent the lack of attention given to Crazy Cat Men. The Crazy Cat Ladies get the headlines and all the reviews.
MISANDRY!
and for the record, my cats do not conform to lowquacks’ list.
I was thinking of creating an OKCupid profile to see what kind of response I get with a specific list of all thing things I want in a guy.
Now I am actually tempted.
Mine are very fluffy and eternally cute, keep clean pretty well, and poo outside, but that’s about it.
Exactly! And they get caught up in the insecurity web that they have woven…
Want their girlfriend to be a virgin (most likely to satisfy non-negotiable #1, Unwaveringly loyal, even if I cheat, because, y’know, only a virgin could possibly be loyal), but want that virgin girlfriend to instantly transform into Jenna Jameson at sexytime-on-demand where they can then have head esplosions whilst wondering about the veracity of her virginity.
“Unwaveringly loyal, even if I cheat.
Will retain a trim figure through exercising and eating right.
Knows how to cook and is willing to do so every day.
Accepts that the entire damn house is my ‘man cave.’
Will enthusiastically perform any sex act immediately upon my request.
Keeps the house in order and sparkling clean.
Shuts the fuck up.
Non-educated and not politically minded.
Recognizes my need for bro time and alone time.
Bisexual and open to the idea of threesomes.
No children, past, present or future.
Virgin, but willing to learn.
Curtsies whenever I walk in the room.
Always dresses sexy.
HB10 as a minimum.
Tiptoes around so as not to wake me when I’m sleeping in.
Doesn’t waste my money on things I don’t want. ”
If this was the caliber of men around I’d honestly become a lesbian.
naira: Point of information, it’s a .22 caliber cartridge. A 22ga would be a lot larger (gauge being a measure of weight: the number of lead balls of that diameter which = 1 lb.).
A 20ga shotgun has a diameter of .615 inch, and a .22 caliber round is about 1/3rd that.
Home improvement tip: anyone can learn how to do most basic handyman stuff with a bit of desire to learn, the right tools and youtube/ehow.com
If worse comes to worst, Home Depot has a lot of knowledgable folks too.
I don’t see how having a penis is a requirement for any of those things.