Categories
antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? armageddon evil women incoherent rage marriage strike men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men sex

The Asshole Monologues: Glori-US Bastard tells “feminist, American Woman, and White Knights” what’s what

I know I’ve asked this before, but what exactly leads so many MRAs and PUAs and so forth to monologue like mad scientists and/or comic book supervillains? In the past, I’ve noted this in the writings of “Ferdnand Bardamu” of the late, lamentable In Mala Fide. But this sort of thing is everywhere. It’s amazing how many manosphere manifestos seem to be leading up to a malevolent “muahahaha! And now I will have my revenge!”

The MRA who calls himself Glori-US Bastard provides us with a convenient recent example in a post with the somewhat baffling title “Dear feminist, American Woman, and White Knights-a message from those who no longer desire you.”

The whole thing is very monologuey, but here’s my favorite bit — aimed, presumably, at “American Woman” and perhaps her friend “feminist.”

We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.  For years, we tried to prove to you that we actually just wanted to be around you and not just have sex.  Your obsession with our visual response to your body as “evil” while you manipulated us for cash prizes has so desensitized us too your wants and needs; we have become the true pussy hounds you most fear!  The hounds that only “desire you” when we want a piece of you; discarding you after.  You can hold your affection and desire; they have become too twisted and crazy; you should see a shrink for drugs for that fetish you carry in your mind sweetheart.  Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason! 

Uh, “marriage dresses?”

Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. He continues:

Your emotional well being will not be a priority to men of the future.  I pray for your daughter’s sake that she is ok with working her whole life not having any kids; and making friends with a lot of foreign women who will start to slowly replace her.

You have failed.

Oh, ok, here’s a little more, from further on in the rant:

You have guaranteed a place for yourself at every table through subterfuge.  You have stolen seats of power not through hard work and perseverance but by the threat of the State’s gunpoint and accountants.  Many men who devoted their lives to their success have lost everything, you think they should vote your way because?

You have failed.

Look, I could go all day!

That I do not doubt.

It is the end of day, and you are running out of others money; and you have run out of your men’s patience!  However, you will not see the anger outside of the redness of our faces.  You are physically secure from harm; for now, until your violent brood of fatherless “youth” turn on you and all of us.  We will defend ourselves, but not you!  This is a trap.

You don’t see it do you?  The fact that men are now indifferent means that you will now have to earn your keep.  Your rejection of your men, will now lead to their rejection of you.

Muahahaha! And then I will have my revenge!

I can’t help but think of Bela Lugosi’s famous monologue from Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster:

Take some notes, MRAs. That is how it is done.

EDITED TO ADD: Glori-US B. has written a sort of rebuttal to this post.

197 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dvärghundspossen
12 years ago

Does anyone have a link to that artificial womb thing?

Judith Thomson talks about the possibility of artificial wombs in the future in her 70:s classic article “A defence of abortion”. Her basic argument in that article is that even if we accept that the fetus is a human being with rights, it doesn’t follow that a woman should be forced to donate of her bodies resources to keep it alive, just as we don’t force people to donate from their bodies in other circumstances, even if somebody’s life depends on it. BUT if it were possible to just take the fetus out of the woman and stick it in some artificial womb, and then let some childless person who wants a baby adopt it, the issue of whether it counts as a human being with rights becomes crucial. If it’s just part of the woman’s body, she’d have the right to have it destroyed if she’d wanted to, but if it’s a human being of its own, she would only have the right to have it removed from her body.

I guess that for some women having an abortion the idea that the fetus went on to become a person living zir life would be disturbing, while for others it would be a nice and comforting thought.

Need to know (@Oraclenine)

Dude just managed to take a shrieking, pompous hateful screed, write it up in a style that sounds like the love child of Foghorn Leghorn and a third tier Bond villain-complete, mind you, with maniacal laughter-

And make it boring. A new land speed record from the (forty one word) title to the ‘you so ugly/fat/slutty/greedy bitches’, with side trips to brag about how his mighty peen relieves him of any need to acquire the social skills most children master by kindergarten. And it’s all a tedious rehashing of the aggrieved bullshit David posts about here day after day.

Just another potty mouthed tantrum from another pathetic guy who cannot understand why he isn’t the center of the universe. I find myself hoping he’s an elaborate troll, because the idea anyone could get past sophomore year so free of even the vestige of a clue is tragic.

And just think, we can close the page, go away and not give him a second thought outside of “Bored now”. He gets to live in that pile of festering shite in his head. all. the. time.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Dude just managed to take a shrieking, pompous hateful screed, write it up in a style that sounds like the love child of Foghorn Leghorn and a third tier Bond villain-complete, mind you, with maniacal laughter-

And make it boring.

+1

🙂

amandajane5
12 years ago

I have actually shown up to an event wearing the same dress as another girl! As a freshman in high school a friend and I wore the exact same dress to the Homecoming dance. We thought it was HILARIOUS! The two of us weren’t even particularly close friends, but I have tons of pictures of the two of us from that night because we thought it was so funny that we made sure to stand together in all of the group shots and have a special picture of just the two of us in our matching (Laura Ashley, I believe, this was 1990) dresses.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

So I see people shooting Sharon’s fish-in-a-barrel arguments, but I can’t get over the imagery of him saying that this goofball has good points.

It’s like, I’m picturing a street preacher shouting about how god was talking to him and told him that the Jews were all space lizards in man-suits who controlled the economy by releasing hormones that make you want to buy things. And there’s this dude in a sensible suit standing nearby, stroking his chin and nodding.

“C’mon guys, he’s got some good points!”

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

Ahem, I know I’m a little late to the party; but I could make little harpy chocolates happen if there were enough interest. Many flavors could be made available in milk, dark and white, perhaps with a tasteful selection of harpy designs (or mammoths, or candles, etc.). I’ll just go back to watching the comments now, like a good little lurker.

cloudiah
12 years ago

Man Boobz totally needs a line of chocolates! Would an alpha cock carousel be too complicated? 😉

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

I actually think that one would translate quite well for a transfer sheet. It would need a fairly large piece to carry it, but I have the tools for that! Hmm, what flavor would THAT be?

Seraph
Seraph
12 years ago

If we’re doing the actual Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel as it exists in MRA’s minds? Dark chocolate.

ShadetheDruid
ShadetheDruid
12 years ago

Chocolate scented fucking candles! Would definitely need a warning on them though or people would try eating them. 😛

(Unless they were actually made of chocolate, but i’m not sure how functional that would be as an actual candle).

freitag235
freitag235
12 years ago

If we’re doing the actual Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel as it exists in MRA’s minds? Dark chocolate.

*splorf*

wiping coffee off of monitor

leftwingfox
12 years ago

(Unless they were actually made of chocolate, but i’m not sure how functional that would be as an actual candle).

From my experience of once trying to melt chocolate without a double-boiler, I can say: Not Very.

Now, perhaps a candle made of cocoa butter?

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

There exists a mold that would make a very passable candle with a white chocolate “wick” inserted in what would then be the top. Obviously, they would smell like chocolate (and would hold any number of lovely and delightful fillings).

drst
drst
12 years ago

Dear World,

Semicolons are delicate tools and should only be wielded by professionals. Please cease and desist your relentless abuse of semicolons. You may only employ them if you can recite the rules of usage from memory. Otherwise please use the common comma.

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

Sincerely,

The Society For The Prevention of Punctuation Abuse

PS – hands off the regular colons as well unless you’re making a list.

XTra
12 years ago

[quote]Ahem, I know I’m a little late to the party; but I could make little harpy chocolates happen if there were enough interest. Many flavors could be made available in milk, dark and white, perhaps with a tasteful selection of harpy designs (or mammoths, or candles, etc.). I’ll just go back to watching the comments now, like a good little lurker.[/quote]

[quote]Man Boobz totally needs a line of chocolates! Would an alpha cock carousel be too complicated? ;-)[/quote]

so this. I would totally give away Manboobz holiday baskets with boobz themed jammies, hot cocoa, bonbons/chocolate,sented candles, bubble bath, perhaps message oil so the oppressed men can properly tend to their feminazi overlords…..

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

Think of the themed snacking fun during troll meltdowns. Better than popcorn with less stuff left stuck in your teeth.

katz
12 years ago

How many ways do I love this idea? All of them.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

Harpy chocolates are the first successful endeavor in manboobz brand confections.

Previous, less successful attempts include:

The Nuclear Pelltdown – Dark chocolate infused with szechuan button essence, featuring a naga jolokia cream center. Tastes mild at first, but then induces oral numbness and ends in a conflagration of flavorless pain.

The Elam-itious – A durian custard center covered by our chefs in white chocolate while they watch Top Gun, this flavor always takes over your mouth, blotting out whatever else you were eating. Pains have clearly been made to make this chocolate look delicious, but its pungeant, unpleasant aroma reveals its nature immediately.

The Heartistethrob – This overly-sweet confection’s berry-chocolate base is cloying and oily, leaving the consumer feeling powerful nausea and a sense of violation.

Choc the Other – Slices of fresh red onion are lovingly sliced by our twenty to thirty chefs with premium german box-cutters, and are then coated in chocolate and sprinkled with tear-salt. Some might wonder why anyone would bother to make this. Our reply: “STOP THREATENING US!!!”

NWOcrave – This chocolate features dozens of flavors, none of which are either well-suited to each other or any good in the first place.

An Inconvenient Truffle – Surprise! This isn’t actually a chocolate, it’s a piece of unfired clay with ‘chocolate’ written on the side. Anyone calling to complain about this truffle will be subject to off-base accusations concerning their purchase history.

Chocolate board on a stick – This chocolate is really worried about you. You could be eating vegetables. Why are you eating chocolate? You say this chocolate is bland and pointless, but why aren’t you writing a review of ice cream? We’re starting to wonder about your credentials as a gourmet.

gelar
gelar
12 years ago

I think you just won the thread.

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

Oh lord, someone already makes a whole collection of NWOcrave; Strawberry/Lemon/Thyme, Apricot/Basil, Tangerine/Chili, the list goes on. It’s really quite the travesty.

katthemad
katthemad
12 years ago

I was thinking more along the lines of tasty things like Vanilla Buttercream, Pomegranate/dark chocolate, Hazelnut/vanilla/coffee and caramel/white chocolate. You know, an edible collection.

cloudiah
12 years ago

inurashii, that was hilarious.

cloudiah
12 years ago

And yes, katthemad, for actual chocolates tasty things would be better. How can we make it so?

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

@inurashii
You win all the internets.

inurashii
inurashii
12 years ago

Thanks everybody. I felt inspired. 🙂

omg I forgot one

The Sharon is Carin’ – Not really a chocolate in and of itself, but a reasonably well-designed chocolate shell that can be placed over another, uglier chocolate to mask its ghastly appearance. Tastes really bad, unfortunately.