I know I’ve asked this before, but what exactly leads so many MRAs and PUAs and so forth to monologue like mad scientists and/or comic book supervillains? In the past, I’ve noted this in the writings of “Ferdnand Bardamu” of the late, lamentable In Mala Fide. But this sort of thing is everywhere. It’s amazing how many manosphere manifestos seem to be leading up to a malevolent “muahahaha! And now I will have my revenge!”
The MRA who calls himself Glori-US Bastard provides us with a convenient recent example in a post with the somewhat baffling title “Dear feminist, American Woman, and White Knights-a message from those who no longer desire you.”
The whole thing is very monologuey, but here’s my favorite bit — aimed, presumably, at “American Woman” and perhaps her friend “feminist.”
We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either. For years, we tried to prove to you that we actually just wanted to be around you and not just have sex. Your obsession with our visual response to your body as “evil” while you manipulated us for cash prizes has so desensitized us too your wants and needs; we have become the true pussy hounds you most fear! The hounds that only “desire you” when we want a piece of you; discarding you after. You can hold your affection and desire; they have become too twisted and crazy; you should see a shrink for drugs for that fetish you carry in your mind sweetheart. Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason!
Uh, “marriage dresses?”
Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. He continues:
Your emotional well being will not be a priority to men of the future. I pray for your daughter’s sake that she is ok with working her whole life not having any kids; and making friends with a lot of foreign women who will start to slowly replace her.
You have failed.
Oh, ok, here’s a little more, from further on in the rant:
You have guaranteed a place for yourself at every table through subterfuge. You have stolen seats of power not through hard work and perseverance but by the threat of the State’s gunpoint and accountants. Many men who devoted their lives to their success have lost everything, you think they should vote your way because?
You have failed.
Look, I could go all day!
That I do not doubt.
It is the end of day, and you are running out of others money; and you have run out of your men’s patience! However, you will not see the anger outside of the redness of our faces. You are physically secure from harm; for now, until your violent brood of fatherless “youth” turn on you and all of us. We will defend ourselves, but not you! This is a trap.
You don’t see it do you? The fact that men are now indifferent means that you will now have to earn your keep. Your rejection of your men, will now lead to their rejection of you.
Muahahaha! And then I will have my revenge!
I can’t help but think of Bela Lugosi’s famous monologue from Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster:
Take some notes, MRAs. That is how it is done.
EDITED TO ADD: Glori-US B. has written a sort of rebuttal to this post.
The first thing that popped into my head reading that was “are you high?”
@Karalora. Heh, yeah, twins are OK. And they don’t seem to give a damn about fertility drugs that cause triplets and quadruplets…at least, I’m not aware of the Vatican ever taking a formal stand on such treatments.
Little Harpy Chocolates…I think I just found the name of my new band!
Wow. Parts of his reply were incomprehensible, like this bit here:
“Now, now sweethearts; let’s be fair here! Have you ever seen yourselves when you show up wearing the same dress as another “princess?” Now don’t look at me like that! I just have an honest desire to see the winner win in a mud wrestling contest; is that so wrong? Sheesh, you can all get intolerant of a man who just wants to see you win something on your own.”
Then there were the bits that qualified as Traditional Douchebag:
“To be honest, some of your wymmins remind me of a few disgruntled ex-GFs of mine; they use to call me “not a real man” right after I dumped them. Oh yeah, they said they would never do me again either! They came back though, it must not be because I have a big penis, and maybe it is because I abused them? It could not possibly be that they enjoyed it? Women only enjoy Lesbo sex of course; duh!”
Esssh. Congrats, you think abusing women is funny — women that may be emotionally scarred to begin with. And the lesbian reference, oh so original. As original as a Howard Stern sketch.
As a hugely pregnant lady who has just realized that, oh shit, I still have LABOR to look forward to again….well…let’s just say that a reliable artificial womb would be pretty cool.
I mean, think about it! No waddling around! No worrying about pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes!! No ripping all the way to your asshole or worrying about c-section-happy doctors mutilating your pelvic floor muscles! No swelling! No feeling like you have an alien trying to break out through your belly button! You could drink alcohol and eat foreign cheeses!
Just because computers can dictate or type doesn’t mean that my hands are obsolete. So why the hell would an artificial uterus make ME obsolete? Hahaha. These MRAs don’t understand that women are actual, ya know, people.
Ahhh, this is my 37 week pregnant self talking. I can only hope that this baby doesn’t decide to be two weeks late like my first one was. O_o
The only thing I have to look forward to is the fact that the seratonin/dopamine surge you get after giving birth is HUGE, and it helps to make you forget all the labor and subsequent bleeding and passing clots the size of your fist and shit.
And *THEN* you get to have fun with all the breastfeeding crap (crusty, cracking, bleeding nipples ahoy!).
I’m not really sure how I’m going to do it with a second kid. But then again, I asked for it. I guess I really ought not to complain.
Is it me, or is that guy really just kind of talking out of his ass. I can’t really understand what he’s trying to get at, I mean the words themselves individually make sense, but the whole doesn’t. At all.
@dualityheart. You’re so strong. Good luck, and I raise my glass to you. Cheers.
Nanasha, I hope the baby comes soon, and the labor is as easy & uneventful as possible. Wishing you all serotonin and dopamine also — you can have mine, I’m not using it right now.
Mr Seemins and his “look, all the feminists are running scared now” schtick is particularly funny in that one of the feminist journalists who the MRM have their collective knickers in a twist about wrote an article about how artificial wombs and other breakthrough reproductive technologies are awesome just last month.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/17/sex-reproduction-aarathi-prasad
@ Polliwog
See, you’re laughing at “harpy chocolates”, but I’m still stuck on “wasn’t that not my point”. It’s “was that not my point” or “wasn’t that my point”, dude. Pick one, because your grammar is making me weep for America’s educational system.
Seriously. I’m pretty sure he tortured grammar to death over the course of that rant. I mean, just try to diagram sentences like:
And that’s not even getting into the horrible things he does to semicolons. *shudder*
On the bright side, I just noticed this:
Apparently, on top of little harpy chocolates, we also have…cartoon stripper chipmunks! (Which also sounds like a fantastic name for a band.)
You know how there’s this whole “natural birth” movement? Yeah…….there’s no way I’d do a home birth (other than the fact that there’s pretty much no place to give birth in our one-bedroom apartment and I do not want my neighbors to think that someone is being murdered downstairs and give my daughter nightmares for the rest of her life), but seriously? EPIDURAL IS AWESOME. I was having horrible back labor with my first child (baby skull + spine = AGONY) and the epidural allowed me to sleep so that my body could do all that labor stuff that it needed to do and I just felt all warm and happy and secure. The pushing part really sucked (imagine taking what feels like a five hundred ton crap), but it was mostly pressure and not pain, and about 20 minutes later, POP! A BABY! Everyone told me she’d be all dopey because of the epidural, but she was wide eyed and looking at me like, “‘sup mom?!” and my husband got to cut the cord and he practically cried when he saw her the first time, plus he got to take her over to get weighed and her first little sponge bath while they cleaned up the gross stuff from the pushing out and pulled out the placenta and made sure my uterus didn’t have anything funky stuck inside of it (other than giant bloodclots of doom, but those are apparently normal). And now, she basically looks like a little mini-him (with a bit of me mixed in). Everyone comments about how much they look alike, lol. But her personality is all me. I sure do hope that doesn’t mean we’ll butt heads all that much when she gets older.
The nicest thing about giving birth a second time is that to some extent, there’s no “woah, we’re parents now” feeling because we’re already doing the parenting thing with our older child. But it’s going to be a huge adjustment, and without my husband on my team, it would be SO difficult. I think that’s really what pisses me off about the MRA douchebags the most. They try and represent themselves as “average guys” when they’re really lazy horrible jerks. I honestly think that the average man is at least a standard deviation better than that, and my husband (although he has had to work to get to be as awesome as he is, which shows you that being awesome is not some kind of magical innate thing that you can only do if you are born that way) is an amazing person who I would be far less fulfilled and happy without.
So yeah.
/personal rant out
And that crap about wearing the same outfit as someone else? Only time it’s happened to me it was passing a woman on the street, wearing a cardigan identical to mine. We both laughed and said “I wondered where the other one of those ended up!” (They came from a local shop that had only stocked two.)
In the highly unlikely event any of my friends and I had worn similar or almost identical outfits to a party or ball in my going-out days, we’d have most likely spent the evening announcing to one and all that we’d found our long-lost twin. Getting into a hissy fit would not have happened. Fits of laughter, yes; hissy fits, no.
@ I wonder if the fact that I understand what he’s trying to say means that I’ve spent too much time reading MRA rants? My mind is starting to automatically fill in the blanks to compensate for their grammar fail.
I want cartoon stripper chipmunks! As long as they promise not to sing like Alvin and friends.
I…I have no words. What does this mean? Why is it the title?
The oh noes another woman is wearing the same outfit thing confirms that these guys have very little actual experience with women. All their ideas about women come from (really outdated) media. That hasn’t been even a fictional trope for decades – move with the times, dudes.
Also I think the average guy is many standard deviations nicer than the average MRA. I’ve never actually met a man as batshit misogynist as the average MRA, and I had a confrontation with the mutaween as a teenager. So there you go – the religious police in Saudi Arabia are less misogynist than these guys are.
And that is one hell of a sobering thought.
Is that rant on Glori-US just one long, and boring, ad hominem or is it verbal abuse? I get stuck on the difference between the two. I’m leaning towards verbal abuse as I don’t see any actual argument in that screed and Wikipedia says the other person’s point must be addressed in order for it to be ad hominem.
?
Hey, they didn’t threaten to cut out my voicebox or bring back medieval torture devices to stop me from talking.* They just yelled at me about my exposed arms.
*Noticing a theme here? No wonder they hate feminist blogs and women journalists – it’s all ladies talking, all the time!
Kitteh, I actually did know someone went home and changed because she’d worn the same skirt as someone else to a high school graduation party.
But everyone else (including the other girl who wore the skirt) was like “Seriously? Who cares?”
LOL Katz, I think the words “high school graduation party” say it all with that incident! Or rather, with the girl in question, maybe, since nobody else was fussed.
Cassandra – yes, the MRM seem to think the Malleus Maleficarum is the how-to manual for relations between the sexes.
Hey, their belief that feminists are witches does at least fit with their obsession with how many cats we supposedly all have. Demonic familiars need monitoring, you know.
I also have Astaroth the demon as a familiar.
http://gloriusbastard.com/?p=230
His other writings are not nearly as bizarre. Still incredibly stupid, but not unhinged like this rant.
Crumb, out of all the nonsense in that post, my favorite is just:
This is a book review! People want information about the book! Like how many chapters it has. And whether there is a foreword.