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The Asshole Monologues: Glori-US Bastard tells “feminist, American Woman, and White Knights” what’s what

I know I’ve asked this before, but what exactly leads so many MRAs and PUAs and so forth to monologue like mad scientists and/or comic book supervillains? In the past, I’ve noted this in the writings of “Ferdnand Bardamu” of the late, lamentable In Mala Fide. But this sort of thing is everywhere. It’s amazing how many manosphere manifestos seem to be leading up to a malevolent “muahahaha! And now I will have my revenge!”

The MRA who calls himself Glori-US Bastard provides us with a convenient recent example in a post with the somewhat baffling title “Dear feminist, American Woman, and White Knights-a message from those who no longer desire you.”

The whole thing is very monologuey, but here’s my favorite bit — aimed, presumably, at “American Woman” and perhaps her friend “feminist.”

We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.  For years, we tried to prove to you that we actually just wanted to be around you and not just have sex.  Your obsession with our visual response to your body as “evil” while you manipulated us for cash prizes has so desensitized us too your wants and needs; we have become the true pussy hounds you most fear!  The hounds that only “desire you” when we want a piece of you; discarding you after.  You can hold your affection and desire; they have become too twisted and crazy; you should see a shrink for drugs for that fetish you carry in your mind sweetheart.  Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason! 

Uh, “marriage dresses?”

Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. He continues:

Your emotional well being will not be a priority to men of the future.  I pray for your daughter’s sake that she is ok with working her whole life not having any kids; and making friends with a lot of foreign women who will start to slowly replace her.

You have failed.

Oh, ok, here’s a little more, from further on in the rant:

You have guaranteed a place for yourself at every table through subterfuge.  You have stolen seats of power not through hard work and perseverance but by the threat of the State’s gunpoint and accountants.  Many men who devoted their lives to their success have lost everything, you think they should vote your way because?

You have failed.

Look, I could go all day!

That I do not doubt.

It is the end of day, and you are running out of others money; and you have run out of your men’s patience!  However, you will not see the anger outside of the redness of our faces.  You are physically secure from harm; for now, until your violent brood of fatherless “youth” turn on you and all of us.  We will defend ourselves, but not you!  This is a trap.

You don’t see it do you?  The fact that men are now indifferent means that you will now have to earn your keep.  Your rejection of your men, will now lead to their rejection of you.

Muahahaha! And then I will have my revenge!

I can’t help but think of Bela Lugosi’s famous monologue from Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster:

Take some notes, MRAs. That is how it is done.

EDITED TO ADD: Glori-US B. has written a sort of rebuttal to this post.

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whataboutthemoonz
12 years ago

“Those surpluses of marriage dresses on TV are there for a reason!”

Feminists are all out to get married, and have failed because Say Yes To The Dress.

Manboobz: Come for the lulz! Stay for the…. MOAR LULZ! 😀

RubyHypatia
RubyHypatia
12 years ago

“We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.”

Who’s we? This idiot only represents a tiny minority of men.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
12 years ago

Feminists are also all out to eat cake, and have failed because there are a bunch of forks in my cutlery drawer.

Unless feminists are now eating cake with their hands, which is possible because MISANDRY.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
12 years ago

So, I’m job hunting right now… Should I wait till the interview to flop my penis out, or would it be best to enclose a picture with my CV?

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

Should I wait till the interview to flop my penis out, or would it be best to enclose a picture with my CV?

Put it with the CV, definitely. Hell, put it instead of the CV. You have a penis; is there any job you aren’t naturally best at? I rest my case.

Blue Jean
Blue Jean
12 years ago

“We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.”

I’ve never either hated or cared about him, either. So we’re even.

katz
12 years ago

While we’re talking about music and, um, random videos, here’s the Charleston set to Daft Punk.

xardoz
12 years ago

Lucky for me, I have a fetish for unworn “marriage dresses.”

freitag235
freitag235
12 years ago

For those of a certain age:

cloudiah
12 years ago

Oh no! He’s discovered the massive bridal gown glut of 2012, currently driving down prices and causing unemployment for millions! We thought the femimedia empire had successfully buried that story, but these men are just too clever for us girlzzz.

Or maybe, just maybe, it has to do with this 2009 NY Times story:

At a time when the average cost of a wedding is $28,082, and the average dress is $1,075, according to the Brides.com American Wedding Study 2009, and designer gowns sell for as much as $10,000 or more, a growing number of brides on a budget are looking to save money and be eco-friendly by renting or buying used dresses and other items for their weddings.

katz
12 years ago

The amount people spend on weddings is one of those facts that I know, yet still can’t get over.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

I went to the supermarket the other day, and it was completely full of food. Lol dumb feminists are starving themselves to death.

Shaenon
12 years ago

Yes, Dr. Misogynous of Death Ray Island, I do want my daughter to work hard all her life and make friends with other women, even if those women are scary foreigners. Thanks for asking!

Shorter Asshole: Blah blah blah, why won’t you fuck me?

That’s every MRA post. I mean, except for the ones that are: Blah blah blah, why did you stop fucking me, and why won’t you lift the restraining order?

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

We do not hate you, but we no longer care about you either.

Does this joker actually think the bulk of women, or hell, even the bulk of feminists, really care about what he thinks of them? Does he even think a large portion of women know who the hell he is?

It’s not like he’s vying for a high political office and telling roughly half the population “well I don’t like you so fuck off”. I’m not really sure how his not giving a shit is supposed to have any sort of impact on me. I don’t give a shit about him either. Hell, I didn’t even know he existed until about ten minutes ago.

There are a lot of people I don’t know personally who I tend to get annoyed at (people who cut me off on the freeway, most Republicans, people who don’t know when it’s their turn at a four-way stop, homophobes, seriously why the fuck can’t people know when it’s their turn at a four way stop, douchebags who feel the need to yell at a secretary if the person they want to talk to is unavailable, etc) and am generally like “yanno, I wouldn’t care if you moved to the moon tomorrow” about. But I don’t really feel like my dislike for them is some kind of awesome superpower that means their kids will like, totally not get married (maybe they won’t want to? Um, maybe some of us don’t want kids either?).

His rant is like listening to a 13 year old shouting “oh yeah? Well who cares what YOU think?!” or trying to assure people that they don’t care what people think. I partly want to just nod and be like “ok, sure.” Not caring for people you dislike doesn’t make you special. It makes you human. Though I suspect he does care. This is a slight variation on the MGTOW “I’m going my own way! I’m really going! I’m really going now and you’re so going to regret this!” threat. We’re going to regret it when you finally shut the fuck up and go your own way already? Sure we are champ.

freitag235
freitag235
12 years ago

@Shaenon, don’t forget the part where they add “and I hope you wind up old and alone and unhappy with your 800 cats as punishment for not fucking me.”

ostara321
ostara321
12 years ago

I went to the drugstore the other day and there were like, at least 50 bottles Midol there. Clearly hysterical women are just lying about how bad monthly cramps are.*

*lord do I ever wish that were true, last month was awful

princessbonbon
12 years ago

You have stolen seats of power not through hard work and perseverance but by the threat of the State’s gunpoint and accountants.

No, I got my seat of power the old fashioned way: I worked my ass off.

Not literally alas even though my butt is so small now it is hard to see where it would have come from.

princessbonbon
12 years ago

The amount people spend on weddings is one of those facts that I know, yet still can’t get over.

The word average is what is causing the problem since most weddings I have been too (and that would be eighty eight this year) are very simple “we are at the courthouse” type weddings with at most, a nice lunch after.

Most weddings are not huge extravaganzas but the ones that are…OH MY GOD are they expensive. So I think they are driving up the average.

Dumpster Jedi
Dumpster Jedi
12 years ago

“LADIES, YOU WOULD NOT SEX ME OR GIVE ME YOUR JOBS AND MONEY OR SOME OTHER POORLY-DEFINED THING, SO I HAVE BEEN DRIVEN BY YOUR RAMPANT MEANERY INTO BECOMING AN ASSHOLE. BECAUSE I WAS SUCH A NICE GUY BEFORE.”

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
12 years ago

OMG four way stops! One day last year I suddenly came to myself sitting there waiting for the blinking light to turn red. I glanced around and the people waiting their turn were smiling at me. It was the only time I had ever done that. It was nice to see from the smiles that I was not the only person who had had that particular brain fart.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
12 years ago

Sorry, waiting for the blinking red to turn green, was what I was actually doing.

Historophilia
Historophilia
12 years ago

I know for certain that I don’t plan on spending much on my wedding. My ideal one would essentially be a garden party for all my family and friends with a picnic with some of the food contributed by guests (ie. asking people to bring their specialty dish along).

The booze would be pimms rather than champagne and I wouldn’t have flowers because if you’re already in a garden why the frack do you need ’em.

I would make the cake myself with my mum and bridesmaids, because that would be seriously fun.

Everyone could just wear whatever felt comfortable for them and the bridesmaids could just wear whatever dress they wanted rather than having matching ones.

I think i’d get my dress made by an independent seamstress and that and the swing band I’d have to play at the party would be the biggest expense.

Why have I got this all planned already? Help me.

Dumpster Jedi
Dumpster Jedi
12 years ago

“P.S.:
I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHY BECOMING A DARK, TWISTED ASSHOLE OF A MAN-PUSSYHOUND WHO BUYS HIS NON-EMOTING SEX-WOMEN ONLINE AND IS A MAJOR ASSHOLE TO WOMEN (Did I mention that your lack of quitting your jobs and being my personal whore-machinae turned me into this horrible monster asshole, and it’s all your fault? I did? Sweet.) WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR ME, SOCIALLY AND SEXUALLY, BUT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULTS FOR BEING STINGY WITH THE ADULATION AND VAGINA, AND MY HAVING A CRAP JOB, SO THERE.”

MordsithJ
MordsithJ
12 years ago

My husband and I had a cheapo wedding at City Hall. But I did wear a Prada suit, so I guess one cancels out the other.