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New frontiers in victimology: Men are “intimidated” into buying women drinks in bars

Women intimidating a man in a bar.

MRAs, forever exploring new frontiers in victimology!  The latest revelation: Apparently men are being intimidated into hitting on women in bars due to the mysterious, malevolent power of their femaleness.

Here’s Howsmydirktaste, putting this theory before the good folks in the Men’s Rights subreddit for some “peer review.”

[S]eduction aims to use a man’s desire against him by giving him the possibly false impression that he may have sexual relations with the seducer. By doing so he may make decisions that he might not otherwise make (buying a drink at a bar, paying for a purse, etc.)

So women are engaged in some vast conspiracy to extort drinks and purses from men they don’t want to have sex with?

I’m pretty sure that unless a woman is holding a sign that reads “I’ll have sex with you for a drink,” that you really shouldn’t assume that she’ll have sex with you for a drink.

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do. Both of these options result in the same consequence of the dominant one convincing the subordinate that it is in their best interest to do something that is not in their best interest.

So a woman sitting in a bar looking pretty is the equivalent of a mob enforcer.

 Now morally: the main claim against male intimidation is that men, on average bigger and stronger, are being unjust by asserting a natural superiority. By doing so they have an unfair disadvantage.

Well, the claim is that when men act in an intimidating way towards women, they’re intimidating. Merely being larger than a woman isn’t a crime.

But sexually, don’t women have that same power? Men are genetically predisposed to look for mating opportunities in all women, and when a woman presents that opportunity, even the most iron-willed man could fall prey.

Apparently, we men are all at the mercy of our penises, and our penises are at the mercy of ladies looking sexy in our general vicinity.

Women don’t face that same situation; their requisite near-monogamy (because they can only have one child at a time, they are more selective in their sexual selections) means that male seduction does not hold the same sway.

Actually, the problem is that many traditional methods of “male seduction” actually involve real intimidation. And today there are a vast array of PUA sites out there offering updated versions of the old intimidating ways, teaching “pickup” techniques that are basically guides to date rape.

I think everyone here can identify a situation in which they or others have given undue attention or favor to a woman who seems a possible sexual partner. Doesn’t that result in the same affect as intimidation?

I’m going to step out on a limb here and say “no.”

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nerdiah
nerdiah
12 years ago

A drink is sufficient payment for the possibility of sex? So does that mean that if I accept anything worth about $5 or more from a man, I’m obligated to give him what he is “genetically predisposed to look for”, or at least be open to the idea? Also, $5 doesn’t seem like very much. Is this true for any favour a man does for a strange woman? Gosh, I wouldn’t want to cheat a man out of what is rightfully his, but I could be in danger of this without even realising it! I think, the next time a guy holds the door open for me, I’m just going to tell him straight that I’m not interested in having sex with him; that should clear up any confusion he has.

princessbonbon
12 years ago

How much sex is owed if the guy buys you a ticket to see a show about the newest Mars rover?

What if you pay for his drink in return for him buying you a drink? What if someone knocks it over before you can drink it? Is sex still obliged in either scenario?

drst
drst
12 years ago

The only Yodels that matter are the Drakes version.

Although Drakes have not been the same since Hostess took over.

nerdiah
nerdiah
12 years ago

princessbonbon: “What if someone knocks it over before you can drink it?”

On Ebay the seller is not responsible for items lost in transit, so I’m thinking yes, you are still obliged to have sex with him.

Fembot
12 years ago

I think most MRAs are so anti-social they don’t understand the concept that people can ENJOY buying drinks for others. I like to buy people drinks, my friends, my dates, sometimes just a cool person I met and am having a good time talking to, with no expectation that drinks = sex. Again, MRAs reduce emotional experiences to straight forward transactions, because they simply don’t understand that people get enjoyment out of doing things for others. And they certainly don’t get that you could enjoy a person’s company without wanting to have sex with them. It is a totally foreign concept to them.

nwoslave
12 years ago

I get so tired of being right all the time. The dear colleague letter is now law, and a womans word is gospel and all the proof that’s needed. In fact, a third party can lodge a complaint, remain anonymous and cannot be questioned. Kangaroo court, brought to you by the empathetic gender.

http://www.newswithviews.com/guest_opinion/guest217.htm

Although I’m sure somewhere out there on the internet there’s an evil man whose written something that has somehow displeased some woman is some way. And he didn’t even write, “trigger warning” to ward off delicate snowflakes lest their feelings get slighted. Now that’s a real problem, not something so trivial as assumed guilt, a feminist student jury and being unable to confront your accuser.

What was Title IX for again? Something, something, no discrimination. Something, something, fairness. Something, something, integrity. According to the link, 59% of all college students are women. Yet there’s not enough women in STEM. The old boys club at work no doubt. Don’t fret, Title IX has a plan coming out in 2013 to deal with men in STEM.
—————
Hey. Have you gals seen the new indoctrination video all men must watch to get into college? Ya know, the one where all men are vile rapists and all women are innocent lambs? It is something! Did ya know ya have to get a 100 on the testing for it to get in college. That’s right, you have to agree that you as a man are a vile swine and women are angels.

I wonder what the end result of the constant barrage of hatred being directed at boys starting in the first grade will be. Tack on the endless hatred of boys and men in the media and our government. And women endorse it or at least gleefully go along with it. Doesn’t it seem as of late the hatred of men has really been cranked up a few notches by our politicians, media and education system? I wonder if that will endear women as a whole to men as a whole? I guess we’ll find out.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I’m waiting for the next complaint to be about how some of us didn’t let men buy us drinks, thus cruelly denying them the ability to take even the first step towards our vaginas. Clearly the only way to right this injustice is for a woman to say “want to go in the bathroom and fuck?” every time a man says “hi” to her in a bar. Or even glances in her direction, really.

nerdiah
nerdiah
12 years ago

Fembot: “most MRAs are so anti-social they don’t understand the concept that people can ENJOY buying drinks for others … sometimes just a cool person I met and am having a good time talking to”

Hahaha, as if a woman would be worth talking to just for talking’s sake!

WeeBoy
12 years ago

@lowquacks
I’d like to be cool and pretend I know what you’re talking about, but I really dont.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@WeeBoy

The second part of that was a reference to an obscure-ish Dungeons-and-Dragons-meets-Mad-Max type thingo from the ’80s. You’d have to be pretty uncool to get it, but I think Katz at least is a D&D nerd? Maybe? Someone was.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

Wizards who preserved or defiled the world with their magic could become evangions or dragons, respectively. Yeah. The thing was called Dark Sun.

katz
12 years ago

lowquacks, I am flattered that you think I’m uncool enough to get your reference, but I’m afraid I’m not.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
12 years ago

How much sex is owed if the guy buys you a ticket to see a show about the newest Mars rover?

All of the sex! … maybe that’s just me though. *fantasizes*

princessbonbon
12 years ago

All of the sex! … maybe that’s just me though. *fantasizes*

Yeah, I am too nervous about screwing this up to even message him first about anything. :/

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@Katz

Were you our D&D nerd, or was that someone else? I wasn’t quite sure at the time of posting and I’m getting less and less sure.

rjjspesh
12 years ago

Seriously these guys just hate women for existing. End of story no denying it

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Shorter Owly: “I don’t understand this policy, nor have I seen the video nor viewed the test in question, but I am really really mad about all of it.”

katz
12 years ago

I am indeed a D&D nerd. (At this moment, my husband is playing a shitty homebrew system that our friend made that I refuse to play because it sucks.)

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

I get so tired of being right all the time.

There was a first time?

Shiraz
Shiraz
12 years ago

Sounds like a “Nice Guy” ™ whine. They’re always running a tab in their heads.

mdevile
mdevile
12 years ago

I feel strangely empowered all of a sudden. Me and my vagina are go gonna go swaggering tonight and get us some purses!

PURSES!

If the guys say no, I’m going to loom at them–SEXILY–until they’re force to give in or face…

wait, what’s he afraid of again?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@lowquacks: “My ex said I looked like Inigo once! By transitive property, I look like kittehhelps kitteh!”

And that has got to be way cool on either count! 🙂

@fembot: “I think most MRAs are so anti-social they don’t understand the concept that people can ENJOY buying drinks for others. other people’s company, or conversation, or anything at all, really.”

FTFY. 🙂

PsychoDan
12 years ago

@lowquacks

Dark Sun is back now! I’m not a fan of 4th edition in general, but putting out Dark Sun material for it is one of the better things they’ve done with it.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@PsychoDan

4th edition was just a rumour, nothing more. Nothing like that ever happened. The whole thing was as silly as the “3.5” scare.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

😉

Athas being back sounds good, though. Hopefully it’s not too twisted – some of the 3rd-edition Dark Sun stuff was really cool – psionics being more balanced and arcane magic reflecting the fiction stuff way better.