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New frontiers in victimology: Men are “intimidated” into buying women drinks in bars

Women intimidating a man in a bar.

MRAs, forever exploring new frontiers in victimology!  The latest revelation: Apparently men are being intimidated into hitting on women in bars due to the mysterious, malevolent power of their femaleness.

Here’s Howsmydirktaste, putting this theory before the good folks in the Men’s Rights subreddit for some “peer review.”

[S]eduction aims to use a man’s desire against him by giving him the possibly false impression that he may have sexual relations with the seducer. By doing so he may make decisions that he might not otherwise make (buying a drink at a bar, paying for a purse, etc.)

So women are engaged in some vast conspiracy to extort drinks and purses from men they don’t want to have sex with?

I’m pretty sure that unless a woman is holding a sign that reads “I’ll have sex with you for a drink,” that you really shouldn’t assume that she’ll have sex with you for a drink.

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do. Both of these options result in the same consequence of the dominant one convincing the subordinate that it is in their best interest to do something that is not in their best interest.

So a woman sitting in a bar looking pretty is the equivalent of a mob enforcer.

 Now morally: the main claim against male intimidation is that men, on average bigger and stronger, are being unjust by asserting a natural superiority. By doing so they have an unfair disadvantage.

Well, the claim is that when men act in an intimidating way towards women, they’re intimidating. Merely being larger than a woman isn’t a crime.

But sexually, don’t women have that same power? Men are genetically predisposed to look for mating opportunities in all women, and when a woman presents that opportunity, even the most iron-willed man could fall prey.

Apparently, we men are all at the mercy of our penises, and our penises are at the mercy of ladies looking sexy in our general vicinity.

Women don’t face that same situation; their requisite near-monogamy (because they can only have one child at a time, they are more selective in their sexual selections) means that male seduction does not hold the same sway.

Actually, the problem is that many traditional methods of “male seduction” actually involve real intimidation. And today there are a vast array of PUA sites out there offering updated versions of the old intimidating ways, teaching “pickup” techniques that are basically guides to date rape.

I think everyone here can identify a situation in which they or others have given undue attention or favor to a woman who seems a possible sexual partner. Doesn’t that result in the same affect as intimidation?

I’m going to step out on a limb here and say “no.”

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amandajane5
12 years ago

Ha, boring stick is just SO incredibly bored that he can’t stay away.

Dude, you’re the boring one. That’s why we keep telling to get your own blog so that we don’t have to read your long-winded “here’s what I think about something that’s not the topic of this post” posts. We know you’re jealous that David has a readership and people who are interested in what he has to say and not you, but coming here and repeating your boring self isn’t really making your case that we should listen to you instead.

xaisede
xaisede
12 years ago

This seems more demeaning to men than women, really. So how is that “men’s rights”? Hypocrites.

gelar
gelar
12 years ago

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do.

“Buy me a drink / try to give me your number / keep hitting on me, or else.”

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@cloudiah

That’s very true. Funnily enough, Jimmie Rodgers’ yodelling was remarkable at the time for its simplicity; really, he was using yodelling syllables and occasionally going into falsetto, but compared to Swiss stuff or w/e, barely yodelling. It caught on though; it wasn’t showing off, it was letting out. IIRC Jimmie copied from travelling musical theatre acts, too, so fairly separated from more traditional yodelling – he basically came up with a new American thing.

The “blue yodels” were vulnerable from criticism from both sides of that phrase.

My awesome great-grandmother was a yodelling cowgirl and sometimes I play her guitar and play old songs and it’s the best feeling even though I can barely play and can’t sing and really can’t yodel.

Bonus question: is American yodelling cultural appropriation?

Amnesia
Amnesia
12 years ago

“Intimidation”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make me comfortable with swiping my card at checkout now…

But of course! It’s like the way men’s money = women’s vaginas! (Yep, been reading old posts again.)

Which reminds me, Creative Writing Student, you owe me a cuppa after I snorted mine onto the keyboard after reading your comment in that thread about how you tried to use your vagina as money and got yourself banned from Marks and Spencer.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

Ahh, the lovely Inigo. 🙂

(He looks a bit like Mr Kitteh.)

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make me comfortable with swiping my card at checkout now…

Yep. I do that all the time. Of course, it`s pretty awkward when your penis gets rejected.

Rory
12 years ago

Oh my good gracious I can barely even believe that MRAs think this stuff but there it is, and it’s more than one of them.

***MISANDRY4LYFE***

cloudiah
12 years ago

Whether it’s cultural appropriation or not, I thoroughly enjoyed pulling out all my Jimmie Rodgers cds and having myself a little yodel party. (The cats didn’t seem to enjoy it so much, as I can’t really yodel either and they seemed to think I was in pain.)

Myoo
Myoo
12 years ago

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do.

“Nice penis you got there. Would be a shame if something were to not happen to it.”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

It must be really tricky. I mean, those swipe-card slots are really narrow! And they put them so high up on the counters.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
12 years ago

(That comment was for Crumbelievable. Darn refresh.)

Nathan Hevenstone
12 years ago

You know, sometimes I think my life would be easier if I were controlled by my penis. I wouldn’t have a conscience, for one thing…

katz
12 years ago

…How did we get to talking about yodeling? This place is weird.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
12 years ago

Scintillating stuff David, keep on mocking.

Imagine for a moment a thread on a feminist site discussing the idea that men coerce women into giving the men money just by standing around and being physically large.

Further, imagine that more than half of the feminists in the thread agreed with that proposition; imagine also that one feminist posted a link to an article entitled “Men and Chimps”, which was all about how male sexuality is just like that of chimpanzees, inferring that men get turned on by being aggressed against by women. None of the other feminists call them out on it, and the comment is upvoted.

Now imagine the testerical shit-fit MRAs would throw as soon as they found the thread.

bwahahahaha, it would be glorious! And it would be PROOPH! of feminism’s evil and further evidence of society’s misandry.

But according to some guy, we aren’t even allowed to mock this stupidity for what it is (as if there’s some kind of misogyny shortage in r/mr. lol).

Anyway, Schticky, how’s that campaign to get AVFM to remove Thomas Ball’s call for violence removed from the front-page “activism” label over at that website? Knowing your dedication to policing anything that might make the MRM look bad, you are no doubt hard at work even as I type.

cloudiah
12 years ago

@katz, Now, now, you guys can have your sci fi/gaming threads, and lowquacks and I will have our little yodeling talk. Don’t mind us, we’re yodeling quietly. 😉

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

Ahh, the lovely Inigo. 🙂

(He looks a bit like Mr Kitteh.)

My ex said I looked like Inigo once! By transitive property, I look like kittehhelps kitteh!

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
12 years ago

According to this idea, I’m also intimidating men. Lots of dudes have bought my twinky self drinks, and I havent slept with many of them… Am I using vagina-power by proxy?

katz
12 years ago

No, no, I heartily approve of the yodeling conversation! My only knowledge of it is Buzz Goertzen, the Idaho Yodeler. He sings country music. With yodeling.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@Katz

Pseudo-yodelling, really.

@WeeBoy

You’ve accessed the power of the Hive Vagina; you’re now officially an alpha. Using Preserving rather than Defiling vagina magic means that you have a tiny chance of being an White Knight Evagion rather than being on the fast track to being an Alpha Vagon, though.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Isn’t it almost time for Bored Stick to gonged offa this here show?

I don’t even have words for the OP. I’m so sorry for all the men i oppressed back in my single days…oh wait, not really, because I bought my own drinks for the most part.

lowquacks
lowquacks
12 years ago

@Katz

The pseudo-yodelling comment was re: Jimmie Rodgers, not Buzz Goertzen. Buzz seems to have a more sophisticated style, but again, harder to empathise with, for me at least.

katz
12 years ago

What about a Neon Genesis Evagion?