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New frontiers in victimology: Men are “intimidated” into buying women drinks in bars

Women intimidating a man in a bar.

MRAs, forever exploring new frontiers in victimology!  The latest revelation: Apparently men are being intimidated into hitting on women in bars due to the mysterious, malevolent power of their femaleness.

Here’s Howsmydirktaste, putting this theory before the good folks in the Men’s Rights subreddit for some “peer review.”

[S]eduction aims to use a man’s desire against him by giving him the possibly false impression that he may have sexual relations with the seducer. By doing so he may make decisions that he might not otherwise make (buying a drink at a bar, paying for a purse, etc.)

So women are engaged in some vast conspiracy to extort drinks and purses from men they don’t want to have sex with?

I’m pretty sure that unless a woman is holding a sign that reads “I’ll have sex with you for a drink,” that you really shouldn’t assume that she’ll have sex with you for a drink.

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do. Both of these options result in the same consequence of the dominant one convincing the subordinate that it is in their best interest to do something that is not in their best interest.

So a woman sitting in a bar looking pretty is the equivalent of a mob enforcer.

 Now morally: the main claim against male intimidation is that men, on average bigger and stronger, are being unjust by asserting a natural superiority. By doing so they have an unfair disadvantage.

Well, the claim is that when men act in an intimidating way towards women, they’re intimidating. Merely being larger than a woman isn’t a crime.

But sexually, don’t women have that same power? Men are genetically predisposed to look for mating opportunities in all women, and when a woman presents that opportunity, even the most iron-willed man could fall prey.

Apparently, we men are all at the mercy of our penises, and our penises are at the mercy of ladies looking sexy in our general vicinity.

Women don’t face that same situation; their requisite near-monogamy (because they can only have one child at a time, they are more selective in their sexual selections) means that male seduction does not hold the same sway.

Actually, the problem is that many traditional methods of “male seduction” actually involve real intimidation. And today there are a vast array of PUA sites out there offering updated versions of the old intimidating ways, teaching “pickup” techniques that are basically guides to date rape.

I think everyone here can identify a situation in which they or others have given undue attention or favor to a woman who seems a possible sexual partner. Doesn’t that result in the same affect as intimidation?

I’m going to step out on a limb here and say “no.”

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Greta Christina
8 years ago

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

But seriously (well, okay, sort of): By this logic (which I’m reluctant to dignify with the word “logic”), why would bars be a special case? Wouldn’t the mere fact of women, you know, *existing”, anywhere in the world, be enough to drive men into an uncontrollable penis-frenzy in which they will succumb to our every whim if we’ll only consent to have sex with them? (Don’t laugh. It’s the logic — there’s that word again — behind burqas.)

You know, the more I think about this crap, the more I think that, as ugly and laughable and sad as it is towards women, in many ways it’s even more ugly and laughable and sad towards men.

Fembot
8 years ago

MRAs won’t be happy until buying women drinks and dinner is illegal, and women are forced to wear burkas, and never leave the house. Poor MRAs and their painful boners.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Being horny and wanting to fuck someone = intimidation? These guys are a joke. Women being sexy at a man* – intimidation, and unfair to him. Women being unsexy at a man – also unfair to him, and clearly done on purpose with the intent of oppressing his penis.

* Because if a man has a sexual response to a woman, she deliberately caused that response. We know this because NWO has told us approximately eleventy billion times.

Fembot
8 years ago

“You know, the more I think about this crap, the more I think that, as ugly and laughable and sad as it is towards women, in many ways it’s even more ugly and laughable and sad towards men.”

It’s misandry, REAL misandry, for a change. I would like to see some MRA acknowledge the misandry and male shaming that is so rampant in the MRM. They don’t need a feminist conspiracy to victimize men. They’re doing a pretty good job of it on their own.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

First I think you need a tag “MRA notes from my boner”.
Secondly, I wonder if MRAs view every interaction with a stranger as a potential exchange of goods for services or only women. Cuz that shit is seriously creepy.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I’m still calling those unsolicited penis updates.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

I can’t help but picture this “undue attention or favor” as that creepy bar guy in “Hitch”.

ozymandias42
8 years ago

It seems to me if guys are so terribly oppressed by having to buy me a drink, they should stop calling me a bitch when I politely refuse.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Yet if a woman is attracted to a man, he is not intimidating her even if he tells her to buzz off?

Logic!

Nathan Hevenstone
8 years ago

Jeez… is this shit for real?

No.

Don’t answer that question.

I don’t really wanna know…

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Amazing, all those men managing to talk to women without getting erections and without showing the least sign of being intimidated. And somehow I’d never have thought to describe “man imposing his company on woman at bar whether she wants it or not” or “man who asks if he can buy a drink and gets a ‘thanks’ or ‘no thanks'” or “two people chatting at a bar” as “man being intimidated”.

carswell
carswell
8 years ago

^ Indeed. Men NEVER attempt to seduce women.

***rolling eyes***

ozymandias42
8 years ago

No, no, no, carswell, men seduce women to get sex, and women just seduce men so that the men will buy them things, and that’s terrible.

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

paying for a purse

Paying for a purse!? ¡¿PAYING FOR A PURSE?!

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

My penis totally makes me pay for purses and drinks all the time….

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

If a man pays me for a purse, can I spend the money on something else? I have enough purses (whether we’re talking the US sense of handbag or the Australian sense of wallet) already, thanks.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

I could use another wallet, think If I dressed in drag I could be convincing enough to make a man penisbuy a wallet for me?

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

I don’t know, aworld, how good are you at using a man’s desire against him?

cloudiah
8 years ago

One time I was under the sway of my all-powerful vagina and it genetically predisposed me to bake a bundt cake for a guy* I had a crush on, so I can totally see where they’re going with this. Damn vagina o’ mine!

*He was totally alpha, in that he was a nerdy grad student with no money OR hair, and a substantial paunch.

cloudiah
8 years ago

make a man penisbuy a wallet

Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make me comfortable with swiping my card at checkout now…

ithiliana
8 years ago

@Greta Christina: great to see you over here (I’m rrede over at the ftb blogs).

And it’s not just bars; there are a few of our trolls (was this NWO) who have claimed in total exquisite dipshit logic that women just have to cry on the street, and men will rush to give them things.

So, no matter where women are, they are oppressing teh menz.

(My favorite is the troll argument that women or more technically feminazis completely control the US and have for decades–through men who are their puppets! Or else, the new world order state has fooled women by feminism into supporting the new world order).

One reason I like reading over here besides the nifty people is that absolute dipshittedness that allows me to think more kindly of a number of male colleages, and even my weakest students’ writing skills.

Fembot
8 years ago

“Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! ”

Penises built the pyramids, didn’t ya know? They also hunted the mammoth and invented science.

someguy bored with your schtick
someguy bored with your schtick
8 years ago

Yeah, it’s a truly stupid post.

It is labeled: “my pet opinion, what do you think?

As of this moment, there are 10 non-bot comments. Reddit tells me 300 users are there right now. 20 people have voted on it 12 up, 8 down. 4 comments agree with the statement. 3 comments disagree or believe the author is writing from Oz. 1 comment chain of four questions if this is a /r/mr issue.

Scintillating stuff David, keep on mocking.

aworldanonymous
8 years ago

@clairedammit
Well, there’s this one gay fellow in my lit/philosophy/polisci class whose infatuated with me, but I don’t use his desire against him, and am actively trying to help him gain enough confidence to find a man who will return his interest.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Scintillating stuff David, keep on mocking.

Nice of you to finally pay David a compliment! Hey, how’s your own blog coming along, Sticky?

amandajane5
amandajane5
8 years ago

Ha, boring stick is just SO incredibly bored that he can’t stay away.

Dude, you’re the boring one. That’s why we keep telling to get your own blog so that we don’t have to read your long-winded “here’s what I think about something that’s not the topic of this post” posts. We know you’re jealous that David has a readership and people who are interested in what he has to say and not you, but coming here and repeating your boring self isn’t really making your case that we should listen to you instead.

xaisede
xaisede
8 years ago

This seems more demeaning to men than women, really. So how is that “men’s rights”? Hypocrites.

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do.

“Buy me a drink / try to give me your number / keep hitting on me, or else.”

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@cloudiah

That’s very true. Funnily enough, Jimmie Rodgers’ yodelling was remarkable at the time for its simplicity; really, he was using yodelling syllables and occasionally going into falsetto, but compared to Swiss stuff or w/e, barely yodelling. It caught on though; it wasn’t showing off, it was letting out. IIRC Jimmie copied from travelling musical theatre acts, too, so fairly separated from more traditional yodelling – he basically came up with a new American thing.

The “blue yodels” were vulnerable from criticism from both sides of that phrase.

My awesome great-grandmother was a yodelling cowgirl and sometimes I play her guitar and play old songs and it’s the best feeling even though I can barely play and can’t sing and really can’t yodel.

Bonus question: is American yodelling cultural appropriation?

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

“Intimidation”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make me comfortable with swiping my card at checkout now…

But of course! It’s like the way men’s money = women’s vaginas! (Yep, been reading old posts again.)

Which reminds me, Creative Writing Student, you owe me a cuppa after I snorted mine onto the keyboard after reading your comment in that thread about how you tried to use your vagina as money and got yourself banned from Marks and Spencer.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

Ahh, the lovely Inigo. 🙂

(He looks a bit like Mr Kitteh.)

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
8 years ago

Wait, they actually pay with their penises?!!??!?! There is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make me comfortable with swiping my card at checkout now…

Yep. I do that all the time. Of course, it`s pretty awkward when your penis gets rejected.

Rory
8 years ago

Oh my good gracious I can barely even believe that MRAs think this stuff but there it is, and it’s more than one of them.

***MISANDRY4LYFE***

cloudiah
8 years ago

Whether it’s cultural appropriation or not, I thoroughly enjoyed pulling out all my Jimmie Rodgers cds and having myself a little yodel party. (The cats didn’t seem to enjoy it so much, as I can’t really yodel either and they seemed to think I was in pain.)

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

Intimidation does the same; the prospect of physical, monetary or emotional pain subjects the subordinate into doing things they might not otherwise do.

“Nice penis you got there. Would be a shame if something were to not happen to it.”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

It must be really tricky. I mean, those swipe-card slots are really narrow! And they put them so high up on the counters.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
8 years ago

(That comment was for Crumbelievable. Darn refresh.)

Nathan Hevenstone
8 years ago

You know, sometimes I think my life would be easier if I were controlled by my penis. I wouldn’t have a conscience, for one thing…

katz
8 years ago

…How did we get to talking about yodeling? This place is weird.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

Scintillating stuff David, keep on mocking.

Imagine for a moment a thread on a feminist site discussing the idea that men coerce women into giving the men money just by standing around and being physically large.

Further, imagine that more than half of the feminists in the thread agreed with that proposition; imagine also that one feminist posted a link to an article entitled “Men and Chimps”, which was all about how male sexuality is just like that of chimpanzees, inferring that men get turned on by being aggressed against by women. None of the other feminists call them out on it, and the comment is upvoted.

Now imagine the testerical shit-fit MRAs would throw as soon as they found the thread.

bwahahahaha, it would be glorious! And it would be PROOPH! of feminism’s evil and further evidence of society’s misandry.

But according to some guy, we aren’t even allowed to mock this stupidity for what it is (as if there’s some kind of misogyny shortage in r/mr. lol).

Anyway, Schticky, how’s that campaign to get AVFM to remove Thomas Ball’s call for violence removed from the front-page “activism” label over at that website? Knowing your dedication to policing anything that might make the MRM look bad, you are no doubt hard at work even as I type.

cloudiah
8 years ago

@katz, Now, now, you guys can have your sci fi/gaming threads, and lowquacks and I will have our little yodeling talk. Don’t mind us, we’re yodeling quietly. 😉

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Ahh, the lovely Inigo. 🙂

(He looks a bit like Mr Kitteh.)

My ex said I looked like Inigo once! By transitive property, I look like kittehhelps kitteh!

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
8 years ago

According to this idea, I’m also intimidating men. Lots of dudes have bought my twinky self drinks, and I havent slept with many of them… Am I using vagina-power by proxy?

katz
8 years ago

No, no, I heartily approve of the yodeling conversation! My only knowledge of it is Buzz Goertzen, the Idaho Yodeler. He sings country music. With yodeling.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Katz

Pseudo-yodelling, really.

@WeeBoy

You’ve accessed the power of the Hive Vagina; you’re now officially an alpha. Using Preserving rather than Defiling vagina magic means that you have a tiny chance of being an White Knight Evagion rather than being on the fast track to being an Alpha Vagon, though.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Isn’t it almost time for Bored Stick to gonged offa this here show?

I don’t even have words for the OP. I’m so sorry for all the men i oppressed back in my single days…oh wait, not really, because I bought my own drinks for the most part.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Katz

The pseudo-yodelling comment was re: Jimmie Rodgers, not Buzz Goertzen. Buzz seems to have a more sophisticated style, but again, harder to empathise with, for me at least.

katz
8 years ago

What about a Neon Genesis Evagion?

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