Aside from Men Going Their Own Way and others who have sworn off women altogether, the almost-exclusively straight dudes of the manosphere devote an incredible amount of time trying to figure out how to get into the pants of young, hot, “fertile” women in their teens and twenties, and complain bitterly about the terrible injustice they suffer when these women refuse to have sex with them.
And then they turn around and attack women in their thirties for actually wanting to have sex with them – because these women have committed the dastardly crime of having sex with other men when they were younger. In the parlance of our times the manosphere, this is known as “riding the cock carousel.”
Today we have a lovely example of this latter phenomenon, from prolific manosphere commenter “Deti,” who attacked former “carousel riders” in this rant he left in the comments on The Woman and the Dragon. (There may be lots of equally horrible things in the comments there as well; I haven’t looked. I found Deti’s comment because it was highlighted as a piece of great wisdom on The Private Man, yet another terrible manosphere blog.)
Here’s Deti:
In light of the incalculable damage feminism has done, in light of our society being on the brink of irretrievable and total collapse, I think women need to ask themselves, individually and collectively:
Was it worth it?
Was the cock carousel worth it?
The sex, the occasional orgasms, the attention and validation, the rush, the feelings?
The drunk dancing on tables, the hangovers, the feelings of immediate regret, the knowledge that you’ve just been used as a semen receptacle (for the 14th time)?
We’re off to a rollicking start here. Apparently, table dancing and casual sex (with dudes who aren’t Deti) have brought civilization to its very knees.
Was it worth it?
The ridiculous thoughts to yourself that, no, THIS TIME it will be different. This time I won’t get f**ked over. This time I will get what I want. This time I will save it for a good man, a kind man, the right man — who never shows up.
Did you get what you wanted?
If what they wanted was casual sex with a guy they found attractive, then, uh, yes? (Whether it was good sex is another matter entirely.)
If they were looking for a longer-term relationship, and the guy did indeed turn out to be a jerk or otherwise incompatible, then, uh, no? I’m not quite sure why Deti assumes it’s the woman’s fault if the guy turns out to be Mr. Wrong. (Actually, scratch that: I do know why.)
Did the hot man, the rich man, the sexy man, the alpha, marry you? Did he give you the brass ring of commitment? Did he pledge his life to you? DId he promise to stay around for longer than just until he’s tired of f**king you and putting up with your bulls**t?
Or did you fall (again) for the player’s smooth line that “hey, I think it’s great that a woman like you can have sex with who she wants. That’s only fair. It’s a man’s world, and you should get to partake in it just like we do.”
Yep, that’s right, any man who thinks it’s ok for women to have casual sex with guys they find attractive is clearly an evil, manipulative player. And any woman who believes this is a sucker.
You get out of his bed. You’ve got to get to work this morning. You try to find your panties and put your miniskirt and 4 inch heels on to walk to your car and get an Egg McMuffin and some coffee.
Hey, come on man. Don’t bring the Egg McMuffin into this. Egg McMuffins are delicious.
You add another notch to your lipstick case (one you’ll have to come clean about someday to your therapist or drug counselor or ER doctor, if not your husband). He says “I had a great time. Let’s do it again. There’s some coffee downstairs. Help yourself. I’ve got a lot of things to do today so I need to get going. Sorry I can’t have you stay longer.” You reply weakly: “It’s OK. Call me, OK?” “Sure. You bet I will.”
Desi, worst slashfic writer ever.
LIttle do you know that he just infected you with genital herpes. You’ll find out in a week or so after the incubation period is up and you have festering blisters all over your pubic area. The pain is so excruciating you have to take the day off work, get some treatment at the ER, and stay in bed. You can’t wear panties because the weight of the fabric on the sores is too painful. You can’t walk because the skin on skin friction hurts. Oh well. I’m sure your future husband will understand.
I think we’ve just discovered a new kink: men turned on by the idea of women suffering herpes outbreaks so painful that they have to remove their panties.
In any case, herpes happens. Big deal. It’s a medical condition, not the act of an angry god. Nor is it spread primarily by sleazy players who don’t call women back. According to the CDC, roughly one in six Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have genital herpes. And, as the CDC notes:
Most individuals infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2 experience either no symptoms or have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed or are mistaken for another skin condition. Because of this, most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection.
Back to Detiland:
Tell me: does it occur to you that you did it again? Does it occur to you that you’ve f**ked up yet again? Are you getting it yet that the guy who blasted another load on your chest or in your hair last night has no intention of returning the texts you send him, unless it involves an encore performance?
I’m guessing that most women probably aren’t that interested in having any sort of ongoing relationship with a dude who “blasted a load” in their hair on the first date.
Does it dawn on you that maybe what you’re doing isn’t working and maybe you need to try something else? Does it dawn on you that the only things you really got out of last night were a couple of bottles of beer and bragging rights?
And sex, which may have been good or bad. Which is pretty much what the guy got.
It’s 6:45 am on a Sunday morning. You stumble through yet another Walk of Shame across the quad back to your apartment, with your hair and clothes reeking of Aqua Net and stale cigarettes and Old Style and semen.
Like I said: Worst slashfic writer ever.
You pray to God above that you don’t see any of your friends. He smiles on you and today, you are spared the agony of your good friends observing you in all your disheveled, deflowered ignominy. But you see mirror images. You pass by other girls in miniskirts and heels, some of whom lost their bras last night and couldn’t find them. You see other men on their way home, some of whom are hungover, some of whom have little smiles on their faces. You exchange knowing glances with both the men and the women, some of whom you kind of know, others you don’t — but the looks are the same.
“I know what you did last night”.
“I know WHO you did last night.”
Um, no, I’m thinking that most of those who see women walking across the quad on a Sunday don’t actually know who they had sex with, if anyone.
“That sex sucked. But he was hot.”
So again, if a man is crap in bed, women are to blame for not guessing this beforehand?
“I’m never doing this again.”
So as you get home, exhale a breath, disrobe and try to wash the stench from the oddly arousing yet horribly convicting things you did and you allowed another human being to do to you, on you and in you, do you ask:
Is this worth it?
I have a question of my own here: WTF is a “horribly convicting thing?”
Do you have anything more to show for your life than N>10, an STD, recurrent UTIs and probably an abortion in there somewhere?
If you assume that women are defined entirely by the bad casual sex they’ve had, then I guess the answer is “not much.” If you assume that women are actual human beings, like men, free to live the sexual life they want but not defined entirely by it, then I’m guessing the answer is yes.
Manosphere dudes complain (bitterly) when their critics describe them as dudes bitter because they can’t get sex. It’s hard not to describe them as such when they talk about this shit endlessly, and bitterly, on their blogs.
Or sweetened gelatin, for that grape Popsicle look.
Paragraph 1:
Paragraph 2:
Irony is the most delicious type of humor.
Its not just the sexual insecurity these guys have. There comes a point in life where you realize that you’ve loved many people in the past, you love many people now and you will love many people in the future. Then you realize that many people loved you in the past, many people love you now and many people will love you in the future, and the pain of realizing that so and so had lovers and friendships before you vanishes.
And its this insecurity that Sunshine preys on…no one will ever love you again if you don’t marry the very first person you kissed. Which really does fly in the face of himan reality.
The authentic kind of love? Not that inauthentic family and friends kind of love so common among bipeds.
Creepy d00dz are creepy.
@ozy
As a bi lady, I’ll raise my left hand to indicate that I would happily marry a female slut and my right to indicate that I would happily marry a male slut. Just for completeness’ sake.
And the extra irony there, to me, is that MRAs would be the WORST bet for a loving relationship. Better a life of their so-called incel than an hour with one of them.
Thank you for reading any of that. . .and sparing the rest of us. I tried, really tried, to read some of the commentary and gave up. The wilfull ignorance and “wah wah” noises wore me down. There’s a lot of seriously entitled dudes in the manosphere.
So you’re a werewolf? That’s cool.
You know this asshole obsession with peoples sex lives must be the absolute shits for the children of these wankers. Although I have been married for twenty three years, but in a relationship for nearly thirty years with the same wonderful woman (cause we like each other, and have a laugh and support each other) the only relationship advice we offered our five children was, whoever your with make sure it’s right for both of you. The thought that I should tell my sons or daughters the bollocks that the likes of Sunshine Mary or that other tosser who wrote that evil shit on her blog gives me the absolute horrors.
Seriously the words of Phillip Larkin’s ‘This be the verse’ apply to these dolts regarding parenting,
And just to piss Sunshine Mary off, my kids are happy by not following her advice, I mean really happy, more able to cope, more resilient and they have had a lot of tough times in their lives and I mean really tough. They have shone against the odds and would laugh in her face.
Chucky, if you were out there having sex with people you couldn’t give a rats ass about- and the not giving a shit part is what really gets you off, that’s on you. If you were out there wrecking marriages and knowing that that’s what you’re doing is what really gets you off, that’s on you too. Don’t assume that every woman on the planet thinks or behaves in the same way. Most folks have more love and empathy than you. Which means we’ll be truly loving all our friends lovers and lifetime partners.
Here he is in training. (JK, much too cute for an MRA.)
Chickens have fangs? Wolves peck? Who knew?!!
Wait, were you an alpha chicken? Oooooh.
But don’t you see, chuckeedee had no choice but to be a miserable and creepy as fuck game-obsessed douche who claims his own dating life was predatory behavior. It was just the culture!
How terrible of us to believe that it would have been possible for him to act like an adult and take responsibility for his own actions and happiness.
That video won’t play in Australia! I has sad. 🙁
Clairedammit, of course chickens have fangs!
Oh poop, stupid links. Try again: http://imagevat.com/uploads/12292009/1165485398.jpg.jpg
Chuckeedee I’m sorry you think you have fucked your life up. Get help.
Urgh. If I absolutely knew that the only men out there were these repugnant gross men who think that women are forced to deal with their grossness as a condition of ever getting of having sex with another human beings, I’d choose celibacy.
Thank goodness this is not the case. Which is why I gather these men are so horrible and angry. No one is FORCED to be with them, much less a “HB10”-and they’re just LIVID that they’re not “allowed” to get a human abuse object.
When I read things like this, it makes me kind of sad because in some ways, my own choices mirror the “good girl” trope-
I am not interested in lots of casual sex.
I am not the sort of person who enjoys wearing short skirts and high heels.
I got married at a fairly young age because I met someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I was looking for a life partner in love/sex/friendship when I started dating (I didn’t “formally” date in the traditional way, but I still hung out with people and found ways to meet people who reciprocated interest in me.
I prefer fluid-bonded sex (due to mild latex allergies and general sexual preference).
I am deathly afraid of STDs, especially after my best friend contracted one of the really bad versions of HPV that can cause cervical cancer even after using condoms religiously (with her boyfriend, who had cheated on her without her knowledge).
I also don’t enjoy drinking alcohol so I tend not to get in that “uninhibited” mindset.
BUT.
The main difference here is that I do not look down on people who have lots of sex or like the above things that I do not like. I just wouldn’t want to impose my own feelings on them, so we probably wouldn’t end up compatible in a sexual situation, but I can respect their choices.
After all, if it makes them happy and they’re truly choosing it and are not being coerced or forced in it, then more power to them!
It doesn’t make me unhappy that some people are having a lot more sex than I am. It doesn’t matter to me that some people have a ton of sex partners. It doesn’t matter to me that some people have different priorities or enjoy “alpha cock carousels”.
As long as everyone is consenting and having fun, why does it really matter to me?
*sigh*
But even a “good girl” like me would never fuck one of these misogynist douchebags. Not even if it was a last people on the earth sort of situation.
….which now reminds me of “Z is for Zachariah”…..Ugh.
Quoting this to note yet another instance of “when a penis enters a woman for the first time in her life it literally changes her personality permanently.”
I’m not surprised, or anything like that: it’s just always curious to me when people actually believe that ridiculosity.
Tulgey – not to mention bozo’s implicit claim that he knows all about what those women did after encountering him. Stalkerish much?
Only way I can see having him as a first sexual encounter (I won’t say ‘partner’ because that implies something mutual) changing anyone’s life is to make them say “Well that was an overrated activity” and either looking for something better or maybe losing interest altogether.
/snark
Deti wrote: “I’m never doing this again.”
So as you get home, exhale a breath, disrobe and try to wash the stench from the oddly arousing yet horribly convicting things you did and you allowed another human being to do to you, on you and in you, do you ask:
Is this worth it?”
Wow. Deti’s childhood must have been horrible. I keep thinking of the movie “Carrie” and Piper Laurie’s character. Like when Carrie’s mom referred to her daughter’s breasts as “dirty pillows.” Ewww. Sex equals degregation? Oh, just stop it. And stop talking about things you don’t understand.
Chuckeedee: Why, yes, I am capable of love, thank you very much for asking. 🙂 Are you?
I don’t have to pretend to be happy. I *am* happy. I have hoecakes (snerk) and my laundry hanging up on the line and my lovers playing Dungeons of Dredmore in the other room, and later I shall do some math problems for fun and write a little and do the dishes. My life is quiet and domestic and utterly, deliriously happy, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now if it weren’t for being a slut, and there is nothing fucking wrong with that. Casual sex brought me where I am today, and that makes me so happy.
PS he’s totally not a misogynist he hates everyone so he’s a misanthrope that’s why he refers to women as being assets of men and men as being harmed by his deflowering of women so there.
I’m starting to think we should give out points to our trolls, but I’ve got no idea how the scale could be adjusted to account for Owly, since he would have the most points by sheer persistence.
+5 for The Personality’s In The Hymen
+5 for implying I’m Just A Misanthrope Who Hates The Oppressed
+??? for Spanish…and Cyrillic?
And, Deti reminds me of this “Nice Guy” ™ who stalk me back in college.
He wanted me to FriendZone him (I shit you not), and kept trying to get me to talk about my boyfriend so he could bad-mouth him and position himself as the better man. The first time he asked about the boyfriend, I was weirded out. “Why do you want to me talk about him?” I asked Nice Guy. He paused and said, “Wow, he must be some kind of fucking jock, huh?”
I’m serious. That’s what he said.
Shiraz – ewww!
Tulgey, I think Ole Uncle Owly would be on a scale all his own. Who could really compete with him except the late unlamented Pell and his sockpuppets?
Leading on from which, would there be extra points for a Grand Meltdown? Those are always such fun to watch, even reading old threads, which is where I’ve seen most of ’em.
It really does, except these are real people who think this is how the world works, or should, instead of people writing crap because they don’t know any better or are doing it to be funny.