Aside from Men Going Their Own Way and others who have sworn off women altogether, the almost-exclusively straight dudes of the manosphere devote an incredible amount of time trying to figure out how to get into the pants of young, hot, “fertile” women in their teens and twenties, and complain bitterly about the terrible injustice they suffer when these women refuse to have sex with them.
And then they turn around and attack women in their thirties for actually wanting to have sex with them – because these women have committed the dastardly crime of having sex with other men when they were younger. In the parlance of our times the manosphere, this is known as “riding the cock carousel.”
Today we have a lovely example of this latter phenomenon, from prolific manosphere commenter “Deti,” who attacked former “carousel riders” in this rant he left in the comments on The Woman and the Dragon. (There may be lots of equally horrible things in the comments there as well; I haven’t looked. I found Deti’s comment because it was highlighted as a piece of great wisdom on The Private Man, yet another terrible manosphere blog.)
Here’s Deti:
In light of the incalculable damage feminism has done, in light of our society being on the brink of irretrievable and total collapse, I think women need to ask themselves, individually and collectively:
Was it worth it?
Was the cock carousel worth it?
The sex, the occasional orgasms, the attention and validation, the rush, the feelings?
The drunk dancing on tables, the hangovers, the feelings of immediate regret, the knowledge that you’ve just been used as a semen receptacle (for the 14th time)?
We’re off to a rollicking start here. Apparently, table dancing and casual sex (with dudes who aren’t Deti) have brought civilization to its very knees.
Was it worth it?
The ridiculous thoughts to yourself that, no, THIS TIME it will be different. This time I won’t get f**ked over. This time I will get what I want. This time I will save it for a good man, a kind man, the right man — who never shows up.
Did you get what you wanted?
If what they wanted was casual sex with a guy they found attractive, then, uh, yes? (Whether it was good sex is another matter entirely.)
If they were looking for a longer-term relationship, and the guy did indeed turn out to be a jerk or otherwise incompatible, then, uh, no? I’m not quite sure why Deti assumes it’s the woman’s fault if the guy turns out to be Mr. Wrong. (Actually, scratch that: I do know why.)
Did the hot man, the rich man, the sexy man, the alpha, marry you? Did he give you the brass ring of commitment? Did he pledge his life to you? DId he promise to stay around for longer than just until he’s tired of f**king you and putting up with your bulls**t?
Or did you fall (again) for the player’s smooth line that “hey, I think it’s great that a woman like you can have sex with who she wants. That’s only fair. It’s a man’s world, and you should get to partake in it just like we do.”
Yep, that’s right, any man who thinks it’s ok for women to have casual sex with guys they find attractive is clearly an evil, manipulative player. And any woman who believes this is a sucker.
You get out of his bed. You’ve got to get to work this morning. You try to find your panties and put your miniskirt and 4 inch heels on to walk to your car and get an Egg McMuffin and some coffee.
Hey, come on man. Don’t bring the Egg McMuffin into this. Egg McMuffins are delicious.
You add another notch to your lipstick case (one you’ll have to come clean about someday to your therapist or drug counselor or ER doctor, if not your husband). He says “I had a great time. Let’s do it again. There’s some coffee downstairs. Help yourself. I’ve got a lot of things to do today so I need to get going. Sorry I can’t have you stay longer.” You reply weakly: “It’s OK. Call me, OK?” “Sure. You bet I will.”
Desi, worst slashfic writer ever.
LIttle do you know that he just infected you with genital herpes. You’ll find out in a week or so after the incubation period is up and you have festering blisters all over your pubic area. The pain is so excruciating you have to take the day off work, get some treatment at the ER, and stay in bed. You can’t wear panties because the weight of the fabric on the sores is too painful. You can’t walk because the skin on skin friction hurts. Oh well. I’m sure your future husband will understand.
I think we’ve just discovered a new kink: men turned on by the idea of women suffering herpes outbreaks so painful that they have to remove their panties.
In any case, herpes happens. Big deal. It’s a medical condition, not the act of an angry god. Nor is it spread primarily by sleazy players who don’t call women back. According to the CDC, roughly one in six Americans between the ages of 14 and 49 have genital herpes. And, as the CDC notes:
Most individuals infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2 experience either no symptoms or have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed or are mistaken for another skin condition. Because of this, most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection.
Back to Detiland:
Tell me: does it occur to you that you did it again? Does it occur to you that you’ve f**ked up yet again? Are you getting it yet that the guy who blasted another load on your chest or in your hair last night has no intention of returning the texts you send him, unless it involves an encore performance?
I’m guessing that most women probably aren’t that interested in having any sort of ongoing relationship with a dude who “blasted a load” in their hair on the first date.
Does it dawn on you that maybe what you’re doing isn’t working and maybe you need to try something else? Does it dawn on you that the only things you really got out of last night were a couple of bottles of beer and bragging rights?
And sex, which may have been good or bad. Which is pretty much what the guy got.
It’s 6:45 am on a Sunday morning. You stumble through yet another Walk of Shame across the quad back to your apartment, with your hair and clothes reeking of Aqua Net and stale cigarettes and Old Style and semen.
Like I said: Worst slashfic writer ever.
You pray to God above that you don’t see any of your friends. He smiles on you and today, you are spared the agony of your good friends observing you in all your disheveled, deflowered ignominy. But you see mirror images. You pass by other girls in miniskirts and heels, some of whom lost their bras last night and couldn’t find them. You see other men on their way home, some of whom are hungover, some of whom have little smiles on their faces. You exchange knowing glances with both the men and the women, some of whom you kind of know, others you don’t — but the looks are the same.
“I know what you did last night”.
“I know WHO you did last night.”
Um, no, I’m thinking that most of those who see women walking across the quad on a Sunday don’t actually know who they had sex with, if anyone.
“That sex sucked. But he was hot.”
So again, if a man is crap in bed, women are to blame for not guessing this beforehand?
“I’m never doing this again.”
So as you get home, exhale a breath, disrobe and try to wash the stench from the oddly arousing yet horribly convicting things you did and you allowed another human being to do to you, on you and in you, do you ask:
Is this worth it?
I have a question of my own here: WTF is a “horribly convicting thing?”
Do you have anything more to show for your life than N>10, an STD, recurrent UTIs and probably an abortion in there somewhere?
If you assume that women are defined entirely by the bad casual sex they’ve had, then I guess the answer is “not much.” If you assume that women are actual human beings, like men, free to live the sexual life they want but not defined entirely by it, then I’m guessing the answer is yes.
Manosphere dudes complain (bitterly) when their critics describe them as dudes bitter because they can’t get sex. It’s hard not to describe them as such when they talk about this shit endlessly, and bitterly, on their blogs.
It’s hilarious how there is a subculture of men who drop the basic rules of being decent human beings (don’t lie and manipulate people for your own ends) but still for some reason think they are ok people overall when they assess themselves. Less hilarious is how they can be presented with the legally accepted definition of rape, know that getting an extremely intoxicated woman in bed is, under the letter of the law and in the eyes of every human being with an ounce of compassion, coercion, and still manage to feel hard done by when people point out they did something inhumane and illegal. And their genuine sentiment is to twist it all backwards in their mind so the women they want to victimize are somehow ‘pigs’ and in the wrong, when they are the ones who are serial rapists.
It’s too bad Chuckeefuck interrupted the debate with Sunshinemary. She’s like a real life, catholic version of Landover Baptist Church. Which is much more interesting than yet another bitter maladjusted malcontent foaming at the mouth with hatred for women feminists.
If Mary’s still out there, I wanted to ask what she thought about the Christian Patriarchy Movement:
http://churchandstate.org.uk/2010/12/what-is-the-evangelical-stay-at-home-daughters-movement/
@timetravel who writes ‘Less hilarious is how they can be presented with the legally accepted definition of rape, know that getting an extremely intoxicated woman in bed is, ‘
Well if he’s drunk too then it sort of balances everything out. She raped him as much as he raped her. Right?
*women/feminists/PIGSSSSSS (RAGE) (ARGLEBARGLE)
Fuck this guy, actually don’t fuck him, this is a man who should never be with a woman, not because he doesn’t deserve it or any bullshit like that, deserve doesn’t come into it. No, this is a man who should never be with a woman for the sake of her safety. This is the kind of man who becomes an abuser in the relationship, whether that be psychological, emotional or physical. This is the kind of man who utterly destroys women. Hell, at least the “attractive” men he decries have the decency to not viciously and bitterly shame her into a depressing marriage with a man like him who only wants her so that he can have something to take his bitterness out on.
@aworld-thank-you Dr Freud for that brilliant analysis. How old are you again kid?
@ Jilly- Now that’s a kind of disturbing question. Not that men can’t get drunk enough not to provide consent- of course they can. But what you are suggesting is that if both parties are drunk, neither are responsible for obtaining consent. If you initiate the sex, you need to get consent for the sex. Always. Being drunk is not a free pass. If a drunk man initiates sex with a drunk woman without getting consent, he is raping her. Conversely, if a drunk woman initiates sex with a drunk man without obtaining consent, she is raping him. This applies to every combination of gender and number of people. In these discussions people tend to use shorthand and simply say ‘man get consent from women’ because in PUA communities and seeping in our popular culture is this hazy idea a man can initiate sex with an extremely drunk woman and it’s not rape, it’s sex she regrets. And then there are further exploitation tactics like emotional manipulation and pressure that are also coercive. Would it be just as bad if a woman used PUA tactics? Yes. Is it nearly as wide spread a problem? No.
@Jilly
No.
And if it was a woman getting an extremely intoxicated man in bed, she would be a rapist and the man would have been raped, regardless of how drunk the woman was. This applies to any combination of genders one could think of.
We’re all old enough to recognise what a wanker looks like, TYVM.
The entire *point* of being young is having fun- through experimenting, taking risks, having adventures, pushing boundaries and discovering your limits. You come out of the other side with happy memories, maybe having made a few mistakes, but having learned a lot in the process. You then move into your older years with a much better idea of what makes you happy, what doesn’t, what you want from life, and what you definitely don’t.
This happens in many ways- people travelling before returning home to settle down, a person starting a few failed businesses before they learn how to run one well, and of course people having several relationships- some good, some bad- before they learn from experience and find The One who makes them happy, and whom they can make happy.
One example from me: I once dated a guy who was funny, charming, quirky, intelligent… but also very jealous of my academic achievements, with a tendency to belittle them at every opportunity. I am now in love with a guy who is funny, charming, quirky, intelligent… and has the capacity to be proud of me and happy for me when I do well. He’s an academic too- here you can see how my previous experiences have shaped my tastes, but also taught me the warning signs of a bad relationship, taught me what makes a good one, and led me to finding a wonderful man in the end. This is why I don’t regret dating The Belittler at all, and neither do I regret dating the men before him, so I could remember them and think “there are better men out there, I can leave this guy and find one”.
In MRA world, there’s a chance I could have “saved myself” for marriage, met The Belittler at 30 and stayed with him through having no-one with which to compare him, and not knowing there could be better men out there. I suspect this is what the MRAs really want- women starving themselves of affection until they get so desperate they’ll become “grateful” to the first MRA who suggests marriage. I once saw an MRA admit that he didn’t like the idea of a woman having seen penises other than his in case she would compare him unfavourably- I think that guy was using feminism as a scapegoat for some serious issues of his own.
It looks like MRAs also secretly acknowledge that women do have sex drives after all, and what they really fear is the idea of women getting a chance to learn about themselves and develop preferences, lest they become too fussy to just sleep with any old MRA.
Wow, ninja’d masterfully by timetravellingfool. I guess it’s easy to ninja when you can time travel.
There is one part of this model of MRA World which doesn’t work, however: the idea of women saving themselves, when it seems that most MRAs consider a woman’s sexual peak to be somewhere around the age of 14. Are all these 14-year-olds supposed to save themselves or not? Make your minds up, MRAs.
Jilly I love how you are an armchair lawyer in one comment and criticizing someone for being an armchair psychologist in the next.
Jilly it’s kinda precious how you’re an armchair lawyer in one comment and then deriding someone’s armchair psychology in the next.
Stop the doubletalk. If both parties are drunk then they are both incompetent to make any rational judgements or to act as witnesses or to make a complaint. We don’t allow people to testify to anything if they were drunk at the time. The defence would destroy a witness like this in a minute.And let’s remember that in the law there is a doctine called “the reasonable man rule”.
I’ll just leave this here.
Joanna Bourke
Well, that’s one female’s opinion and we’ll take it for what it’s worth. 0
I’m opening the pool on the time until Jilly’s meltdown.
Jilly, why are you so invested in supporting rapists? Enquiring minds wish to know.
So what you’re saying, Jilly, is if I want to commit a crime I just have to get drunk first and I am off scott free? What an, um, interesting take on the law! Why don’t you experiment with that a little- get absolutely shit faced loaded and go rob a bank- no one can convict you, Jilly- you’re drunk! (disclaimer for idiots- do not do this, this is a horrible idea, you can absolutely be convicted, jesus, what are you thinking).
THIS pig has a pool, though.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/LbpVMYJZHKw
Jilly, why are you using a feminine nym and saying that the opinions of ‘females’ are worth nothing?
(@everyone else – I’m calling Pell. His M.O. to a tee.)
I’m also willing to place odds on jilly being neither a newcomer nor a woman.
By the way, if I woke up and, for example, my watch was missing, I’d know my watch had been stolen, and I’d know I wouldn’t just give a person, or person X my watch. I hate the whole ‘sex as property’ analogies, but I’m using it as a ‘ways a person knows they would behave after a few drinks’ analogy.
Also, Jilly, go step on a lego.
Not sure why I pulled off that youtube embed code? oh well.
@thenatfantastic Well, now you’ve said The Name – stand by for meltdown…
“On the one hand, the consumption of alcohol is viewed as making women MORE responsible… male consumption of alcohol is viewed as making them LESS responsible”
There’s a double standard for hormones too: men are allowed to blame their actions on their hormone levels, while women seriously affected by PMT are told to get over it and scorned for not being more in control of themselves.