Over on Married Man Sex Life, doucheblogger Athol Kay has provided the ladies with a helpful checklist of the things they need to do, or to be, or to do be do be do, to become the ultimate “red pill” girlfriend or wife. But the women he describes sound a lot less like Trinity from The Matrix than the robotified housewives from The Stepford Wives.
Mr. Kay’s list of demands is too long to quote in its entirety, but here are a few of the choicer items:
(4) Understands that there is a sexual marketplace, and that women have an earlier peak of sexual desirability than men do.
Presumably if she forgets this, her manospherian swain will happily neg her back to a properly less-positive assessment of her rapidly decaying beauty as a woman over the age of 14.
(13) Understands that divorce sucks and is more akin to getting treatment for cancer than having cosmetic surgery.
I sort of agree with this one, actually: for women married to Athol Kay’s followers, getting divorced would be a lot like removing a malignant tumor.
(14) Likes men in a general sense for who they are and what they do, rather than detesting all men in general and making an exception for the tiny few in her nuclear family.
(Huh. Project much?)
(15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.
I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about here. Lie detector tests? Waterboarding?
(20) Doesn’t keep the Red Pill a secret from those that need it.
That’s what we need, more women lecturing women on how terrible they are.
I’ve saved the best for last:
(3) Understands that what she does with her vagina always has some sort of consequence.
Seriously. Please think twice before tattooing Homer Simpson on you hoo-hah! (This has actually been done. You’ll have to look up the pictures yourself.)
In the comments, BlackCat adds a 21st item to the list:
(21) Understands that current society/public opinion, the vast majority of churches, and almost all laws, courts and government agencies dealing with families are all biased heavily against men, and that until the incentives and disincentives return to a more balanced state, men are completely justified in being gun-shy and avoiding commitment and other entanglements as much as possible.
Corollary to (21): Appreciates the men, especially informed (red pill) men, who are willing to take the chance at a relationship despite the above, and goes out of her way to prevent them from being taken advantage of, and to publicly denounce those who do take advantage of them.
So come on, gals, start lining up for your chance to jump through endless hoops for the chance to get with a dude who thinks he’s doing you a gigantic favor by even considering dating you in the first place!
While we’re at it, here’s my favorite scene from The Stepford Wives (the original 1975 version, of course), in which [SPOILER ALERT] Joanna, the new gal in Stepford, discovers that her friend Bobbie is no longer the free-spirited Women’s Libber she thought she knew.
Just wanted to point out for those invoking the Duke lacrosse case as the worst feminist conspiracy ever that it was a white male DA who blatantly saw that setting up a poor (and quite possibly mentally ill) black woman against a group of rich college boys could make his political career. It backfired on him and he caused a shitstorm for a lot of people involved in the case as well as both the university and city communities. He was eventually found out and disbarred, but somehow that didn’t get the press. Want to blame someone for the Duke lacrosse case? The correct target is Mike Nifong…a small-time lawyer who saw controversy and publicity via using gender/race/class relations as his ticket to glory.
@embyrr: I don’t think you meant it that way, but your comment comes off a bit as if men are better people than women (with a few exceptions). I think it’s just as common for men to put down their female friends as for women to do so. I mean, if there’s a bunch of men and one woman who hang out with them, it’s not uncommon that they’ll throw around sexist jokes, misogynistic remarks etc “for fun”, and the woman must sort of continuously prove that she’s a good sport by laughing along.
I think a lot of people of all genders have their douchey ways. And it’s also perfectly possible to find many decent and nice people of all genders to be friends with.
Yo, aworldanonymous, I hope you are ok. I’m worried about you. Suicidality is serious business!
Please look into your college’s counseling resources– many campuses have free or very low cost mental health services. Even if you don’t feel like you need them now, you should figure out what is available in case you need it. Don’t feel afraid to get help; I know you have been feeling scared and alone lately but it is very very common for students to go to counseling for all sorts of reasons. They see lots of students who are having trouble adjusting. Yes, even this early in the school year, so it’s not shameful to go.
As a tip, if you’re going to go I’d suggest trying to get an appointment sooner than later– appointments tend to fill up as the year goes on and especially around midterm and finals periods as students get more stressed out.
I don’t want to scare you (ok, maybe I do just a little bit) but I had a lot of mental health issues that I left unresolved and untreated during college, and it ended up derailing my college career and making my time at college completely unenjoyable. It’s best to try to get a handle on stuff as early as you can.
Embyrr, the whole “women are so catty and awful, I prefer men” attitude is part of the patriarchy’s “pitting women against each other”. If you are a woman, you’re a woman, not a special exemption. The problem isn’t with “those other girls”; the problem is with patriarchal expectations of how women are supposed to behave, what women are supposed to care about, and how women are supposed to maintain relationships with each other. Please don’t buy into that bullshit.
Also if you don’t think men are competitive with each other, even socially/emotionally, all I have to say is L O freaking L
I have plenty of male and female friends. The trick is to not spend time with wankers.
As for beauty: I fit the beauty standard and I don’t find myself particularly attractive. This may have something to do with a) I loathe mirrors and b) I don’t find the beauty standard attractive at all. It’s creepy. I’ve seen pictures in magazines and stuff and all the women ‘fit the beauty standard’ and its like amateur Sims 2 night. Different hair, clothes and colouring on the same face.
Also the female beauty standard is way too feminine-looking. I look like a girl, and I’d like to at least be able to do convincing bifauxnen.
Sleep helped methinks, I really do need to find a way to get away from the drunks though. It’s not really that I don’t like drinking, it’s more the crowd, I’d rather drink with people more like myself with whom I don’t have to worry about my massive idiosyncrasies coming out in full force with drunkenness and creeping people out.I guess it’s more that this dorm is full of normal-ish people who do normal things, and live normal lives, and I’m decidedly different, and probably ought to be in a place with other visibly different people with whom I can safely say I’m accepted for who I am.
Just popped in. Has someone yet said women wouldn’t be raped nearly so much if they’d just keep their irresistible selves in doors at appropriate hours and let the men have their public space back? Sort of like how murder victims could have avoided their murder if they didn’t look so damn killable? Or is that yet to come? I see Boring Troll is confounded by the notion the legal system isn’t as accommodating to all groups as it is himself- should be fun to watch him struggle with that.
I know, right? After all, it’s not like there has never been never any pressure on rape victims historically to stay with, and even marry their rapists. Even the Bible TOTALLY doesn’t contain rules that force rape victims to marry their attackers.
Right. Forget even drinking wine, think about the classical “legitimate rape” scenario, where a stranger accosts a woman on the street, drags her into an alley and “rapes” her. After all, that’s just two people walking down the street and then having sex. How in the world is that “rape”??
[/end sarcasm]
Jesus, what a douche you are.
“In recent year there’s been a lot of pop acts singing about being beautiful
Or someone or something being beautiful.
Now, I know this ain’t a new thing but it just feels as if these
People don’t really know what beauty is and by bandying it around so often
It starts to loose all meaning and worth.
You see “beauty” and “beautiful” are powerful words.
It’s more than just a physical thing.
It’s more than just a nice pair of tits.
Bring the beat in and let me tell them what I think beauty is…
… Now please note that at the moment that this entertainer died
Even with a room full of people not one tear was cried
Much less, they rose to their feet and they laughed and clapped
Now tell me one fucking thing that’s more beautiful than that…
Cos’ I’m sure I can’t think of one.”
Beauty! That’s how you do it.
@ aworldanonymous
Also, trying out non-university-affiliated activities might be a good idea. At least in my experience, spending time around people of different ages and walks of life takes some of the “we are young! we are free! let’s have obnoxious levels of loud fun!”-pressure of university life away. SCA, at least the shires I’ve lived in, has been pretty mixed age-wise, and older people can help one gain some perspective on university and the ideals of what ones late teens/early twenties should be like. Because not everyone wants to drink. Not everyone wants to go out clubbing. Not everyone is into sports.
But: suicidal ideation is serious business. Even if it’s better after some sleep, try to get in touch with someone who can help. You seem like such an awesome person, people deserve to have you in their lives!
@aworldanonymous- I know what you mean when you say “normal,” but I think it’s important to note that there are tons of people out there in the world with idiosyncracies just like yours (hi, Manboobz regulars!). It’s not that they are “normal” and you are “different,” it’s that you both have different ways of being in the world that are along a spectrum of perfectly normal and functional human behavior. Don’t feel ashamed because you don’t fit into the normative college experience (whatever that means). Your way of doing things is totally normal and valid.
@Dvärghundspossen
I certainly didn’t mean to imply that men are better than women, though I can see why I came across that way. I meant that women, especially those who are, um, mainstream(?) (that seems like the wrong word but I can’t come up with a better one right now), the ones who wear makeup and spend more than five minutes on their hair and wear things other than jeans and a t-shirt, intimidate me. I never have many friends and I don’t make friends easily, but it’s always been easier for me to find guys I feel unselfconscious around than girls.
@kladle
I think that what I meant to say is that I feel much more pressure to be “girly” from women than I do from men. When I’m hanging out with guys I feel a lot less of the internalized social pressure to wear makeup and frilly things with coordinated colors and cute, uncomfortable shoes than when I’m in a group of girls.
I think what I really wanted to say, but hadn’t thought all the way through, is that the patriarchal society is, in my experience, policed and perpetuated more strongly within genders than between them.
IR/FF/Fullofit: Say we do become more civil towards you, would that make you any smarter? No? Then keep on fucking right off with your tone arguments and general fuckery.
Just wanted to repeat MDubz’s quote for maximum truthiness.
My first few weeks of college were awful. I was super-anxious, hardly left my room except for classes and food (and sometimes not even when I needed food), and was convinced that I was a complete freak because I seemed to be the only one not drunk off my ass every Thursday and Friday night (sound familiar?).
Eventually, via classes, going to all the free “cultural events” I could find (I like concerts and plays and art exhibits and so on; your mileage may vary), and discovering the ice rink and the campus anime club, I did manage to make friends. Especially once you’re past the first few semesters, you’ll find yourself having classes with many of the same people in your major, which is an easier way to make friends although it’s not super-helpful the first week.
That said, aworld and anyone else who might be feeling it please find someone to talk to if you’re feeling suicidal, especially if you’re already in the “here’s how I could do it” stage. I let my depression and anxiety and suicidal ideations go unaddressed for a very long time, and it literally almost killed me. It is Not Worth It, whatever your brain is telling you otherwise.
I had that experience in my all-girl secondary school, but having surveyed my friends who went to a variety of schools with different gender mixes this may just be a side-effect of teenagers being easily-impressionable butts.
…easily-impressionable butt.
Sounds like a good description of Tom Martin.
aworld: Glad you’re feeling a bit better after sleepages. Everyone else has good advice, though. I wish I had a TARDIS so I could go back and steal the advice for my own. 😛
Well if I had a TARDIS, instead of using it to steal advice, we could all just go on a big Manboobz Time Adventure. Oh well. 😀
Oh, also, when sober with drunkies, challenge the drunkies to a Mikado-tournament. (Unless they’re drunk savants. Damn their hides.)
@embyrr: Thanks for the elaboration. 🙂
Nah, he’s just overly-concerned by the impression left on his butt by hard chairs.
Hi fives to Fibinachi for binging the Scroobius Pip
Aworldanonymous, everyone (pretty much) is feeling very insecure in their first year of college, particularly the first few weeks. Some are just better at hiding it (often through drinking) than others.
I’m an extreme introvert. I didn’t stay in dorms because I’m also VERY sensitive to sounds and other stimuli extroverts love so much. Just remeber, college IS a different experience from highschool. You WILL be far more likely to find people you will accept you for who you are, and even among those who don’t they aren’t going to pick on you the same as highschool because a) they are too busy getting on with their very busy lives and B) AS AN ADULT, you have far more control over your life and you don’t have to stay anywhere, wth anyone you aren’t comfortable with. So, please find a counsellor to help you, but also know that you can ask to switch classes, dorms or move to your own apartment if that what it takes. Hell, you can switch colleges if you find that the atmosphere is that bad.
The school wants you o stay and to succeed. Your family and friends wants to find success and happiness. And believe it or not, there are going to be plenty of people who are eagerly waiting to meet you, who will remeber you for years after college as one of the people they couldn’t have done without in life. There are a lot of people cheering you and ready to help in any way they can. You aren’t alone.
I hope this current struggle is a short one for you.
Apologies for the pedantry, but he was the actual head of the IMF and the probable next President of France. In fact, given that his party went on to win this year’s election despite a far less charismatic and popular candidate in François Hollande, it’s all but certain that DSK would be President now if it hadn’t been for last year’s incident.
Otherwise, I agree with you – he’s a rotten example if you’re trying to pick a case study of an innocent male victim of evil female wiles. Even when making every excuse imaginable for him (and I read plenty in the French media last year), there’s overwhelming evidence dating back decades that he’s a serial and incorrigible sex pest.
AAAAAAAAH Manboobz Time Adventure! (aaaah) Can we go pet some Giant Ground Sloths please?
Okay if we’re going on Time Adventures, I am SO getting a pet triceratops!
@Weatherby- Your points are all excellent, but can I point out that I am kind of lolling at the phrase “sex pest”? I’m kind of imagining them as the distant evolutionary relative of Captain Awkward’s “evil bees” (scroll down to the comments section for the creation of same)
http://captainawkward.com/2012/02/22/194-i-am-so-socially-awkward-that-my-boyfriend-wont-take-me-anywhere/